Summary: After a night of dreaming Josh tries to avoid facing his feelings, only to stumble into some truth.
Disclaimer: Oh how I wish they were mine. But alas they are not.
Author's note: I hope you love this as much as I loved writing it.
"Josh I have to go," she yelled from her desk. She had never yelled much before. Now it was just habit.
"Go where?" he responded appearing in the bullpen.
She turned to look at him for only a second. She balanced file upon file. She finished typing a note on her computer. And put on her coat. All at the same time.
"Jess has a doctor's appointment," she muttered with files in her mouth.
"Can't Sarah take her to that?"
"Josh a nanny is not a substitute for a parent," she retorted, as she quickly swigged the rest of her coffee from her "Best Mom in the World" mug.
"I thought that was exactly what nannies were for," he muttered, as he took the notes she had handed him in her panic.
"Can we possibly do this later?" she asked looking at her watch and grabbing her purse. "I'm late."
"Sure," his said grinning viciously. "Give Jess a kiss for me."
She nodded and began to walk out. "I will."
"Wait do you know where my black folder is?" he shouted after her.
She ran back into the bullpen and pulled a folder off her desk and handed it to him.
"Thank you Donna," he answered.
"Bye," she said and gave him a quick kiss on the check.
That's when he woke up.
He walked into work that morning feeling a little frustrated by his dream the night before. He didn't want to try and analyze it. He was trying very hard not to think about it. But all he was capable of thinking of was the dream he had had the night before and what it might possibly mean.
"Hi Josh," Donna said as she walked past him to her desk.
He stopped dead in his tracks. "What did you say?"
She looked at him puzzled. "I said 'Hi Josh'."
"Oh," he muttered slowly.
She turned her eyes from him and looked back at the notes on her desk. "Sarah Canaly called for you."
"Who?" Josh asked as though he had never heard the name before. It had touched him as perhaps meaningful and haunting that her name was Sarah. Then he knew he was reading too much into it.
"Sarah Canaly from the WRA," she told him still looking at him with a speculative ideal of his possible insanity.
"Why's she calling me at 6:30 in the morning?"
"You have a meeting with her at eight," Donna answered.
"Oh."
"That's all."
He stood in front of her for a moment. The night's dream vivid in his present state. Looking at her he continued to wonder if she would look any different as a mother.
She looked up at him after a moment. "Do you need some help Josh?"
He phased back into reality. "Huh? What?"
"Would you like some assistance Josh or are you planning on standing there all day?"
"Oh." He moved then to his office.
She rose and followed him. "Are you okay?"
"What?" he asked when he missed her question.
She was worried. "Is there something going on?"
"No," he said confidently, trying to seem casually distracted by something of little to no meaning whatsoever to Donna. "No, no, no, no, no," he only continued to defeat the point.
She began to back out of the room. "Okay then."
He wouldn't look at her or make eye contact. He was trying very very hard to pretend she wasn't around. Only succeeding by increasing his nervous behavior.
She stared at for him a moment, head tilted, curious as to what had turned him to this state. Then she turned back to her desk shacking her head.
Josh stood in his office for a moment repeating over and over in his mind, "IT MEANS NOTING! NOTHING! COME ON... I MEAN... NO NO IT MEANS NOTHING!"
He was getting nowhere.
Donna stood in front of Josh's office moments later. Finding him still standing with his jacket on staring into space.
"Josh?" she began softly.
"Huh?" he answered looking up.
She pointed to the phone. "Line 2."
He looked bewildered. "What!"
"Sarah Canaly," she said throwing her hands into the air.
"Oh," he said and began to take of his jacket. "Yeah thanks."
She began to back out of the room.
"Wait Donna," he said calmly.
She turned.
"Did she say what she wanted?"
She merely shrugged, "No."
He said down at his desk and answered the phone.
"Hello?" he began.