Summary: After a night of dreaming Josh tries to avoid facing his feelings, only to stumble into some truth.

Disclaimer: If only I had them. I could make them do so many more things than just the things that they do in my mind, because I would actually have them. But I don't I am sad. Damn.

Author's note: I hope you love this as much as I loved writing it.

Josh had a break in meetings around noon. He decided to swing by Sam's office before heading back to the bullpen.

He found both Sam and Toby sitting casually in Toby's office arguing over some content or language that was to be allowed in one of the President's up and coming speeches.

"Hey," Josh said and stood in the doorframe. "I'm not interrupting anything important am I?"

They both looked up at him.

"Not really no," Toby told him while glaring at Sam.

"Okay then," Josh said entering the room. He closed the door behind him. "I just need some advice of a personal nature."

"Of a personal nature?" Sam asked mockingly.

"What the hell?" Toby asked paying attention to neither of them and highlighting some words on the papers he was holding. He had a look that displayed complete oblivion to whatever Josh had just said and particular disgust at he had just read.

Josh couldn't believe he was about to make the same rant once more. "See I finally realized today that I am in love with this woman…"

"Wait! What? When did this happen?" Sam asked in shock.

"Well this morning," Josh told him. "I guess around ten o'clock."

"Why!" Toby shouted as he continued to read the speech.

Josh ignored him and continued, "So I'm in love with this woman but the thing is I've known her for a long time and she's a good friend."

"You have female friends," Sam asked sarcastically.

Josh ignored him. "I have really no idea how she feels about me, not to mention the fact that the nature of our long term relationship..."

"Did you just use the word relationship while making reference to a woman?" Sam asked in a humorous and teasing tone.

"Yes," Josh told him coldly. "Our relationship may cause potential P.R. problems for the President."

"She's not a Republican?" Toby asked. He had caught to words relationship and P.R. problem. His attention had suddenly been diverted to Josh.

"No why does everyone... never mind," he continued. "If I knew how she felt this wouldn't be as much of a problem. How do I find out if she likes me without telling her how I feel about her and if she doesn't like me how do I make her like me without making any advances?"

Both men stared at him for a long moment.

"What the hell?" Toby asked using the same tone he had used when reading the dilapidated phrases in the speech he had been ridiculing seconds before.

Josh finally came to his senses realizing who he was talking to. "Yeah," he scratched his back and began to open the door. "Never mind."

"Okay then," Sam replied. "You sure. I mean you seemed pretty serious. I mean you closed the door and everything."

"Don't worry. I mean... never mind..."

Josh stormed out of the room, swinging the door open and pacing back to his own office. Sam and Toby stared after him, extremely confused but didn't really take the time to reflect or even feel concern over what had just occurred.

"Hey Josh," Donna said calmly as he entered the bullpen. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Josh replied looking at her with an alert glare. "How 'bout you?"

"I'm just fine and dandy," she replied swiftly.

He walked into his office. "Hey Donna do you want to go for lunch?"

"What like in the Mess?" she asked pacing into the room to get some folders.

"Sure," Josh replied.

"You have to call Mark Folger first," Donna told him handing him a note.

"Who's Mark Folger?"

Donna stopped moving busily about. She stared at Josh in silence. When she suddenly paused Josh awkwardly looked towards her.

"You don't remember Mark Folger?" Donna asked half yelling at him. "Mark Folger, a guy you have been working with for at least a few years now. Mark Folger the guy you went to college with. Mark Folger your good friend. You don't remember who he is?"

"So what if I forgot who he was? I remember now. Why are you flipping out?"

"I worry," she said quietly.

"About me?" he asked her in an equally silent inflection.

"Yes," she replied looking at her toes.

He stared at her for a moment. He had stopped trying to not think about her. He had stopped trying not to imagine what it would be like to be with her. He had come to the realization that he loved her. All he could think about was Donna.

"That's very sweet," he told her.

She looked up, pouty with glazed eyes. "Anyway do you want me to..." She was interrupted when the phone rang. "Hello?" she answered. "Yeah." she hung up. "Leo wants to see you."

Josh got up from his desk and walked towards Leo's office.

"Has she really affected you that badly?" Donna asked following him.

"Who?" Josh asked looking at her with no idea to who she might possible be referring to.

Donna returned his look in disbelief. "The woman who you have definite feelings for and may or may not be..."

"You don't have to do the whole thing," Josh told her.

"Okay," Donna told him. "Well?"

"Well..." Josh said shrugging his shoulders. "After further reflection I had an epiphany around ten."

"Epiphany?"

"Yes."

"And this was...?"

He didn't know if he could tell her. He didn't want to tell her and then have her figure it out and know. And she did know everything, didn't she?

"That if she doesn't love me then nothing else really matters," he told her without really thinking about it.

"Loves you?" she asked in astonishment.

"Yep," he told her. He looked at Margaret. "Is he in there?"

"He's waiting for you," Margaret told him waving him inside.

He turned around to Donna. "We can finish this later."

Count on it? Donna consciously thought. God whoever this woman is she better not break his heart. I don't want to see Josh hurt.

After talking with Leo about the meeting, and reviewing whatever their game plan was, Josh started again.

"Leo can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Leo told him, looking over papers on his desk.

Josh didn't want this to be another Toby incident. He knew Leo would pay attention. He knew Leo would care just a little bit more.

"Well see around ten this morning I realized that I was in love."

"Wait slow down," Leo said looking up at him eyes dancing. "Did you just tell me that you are in love with someone?"

"Yes?" Josh said not really sure.

"Does she know yet?"

Josh shook his head. Then he paused. "Actually I'm not sure."

Leo smiled at looked back at the papers on his desk. "Okay, continue."

Josh nodded. He began to pace in front of Leo's desk. "So at ten I finally realized I'm in love with this woman and that I probably have been for a very long time."

"A long time?" Leo repeated not really giving Josh his undivided attention.

"Yes," Josh assured him. He stopped pacing and stood behind one of the chairs. "And I was just wondering how I should go about finding out how to act or not act on this new and difficult feeling."

Leo looked up from his paper. "Well I just got divorced Josh so I don't know exactly what kind of advice you want."

"Okay then," Josh said when he realized Leo wasn't going to take him seriously. He patted the back of the chair and made a leap for the door.

"You know what Josh," Leo said having turned back to his papers. "Just go for it."

"Okay," Josh said nodding. He didn't take Leo's recommendation to heart.

"Hey," Leo raised his eyes once more. "Who is this anyway?"

"Well..." Josh began. "I'm not exactly sure if you'd approve. And asking you would be a bit too much like asking for permission. And I really don't think I need you're permission to start a relationship with a woman."

"She's not a Republican is she?" Leo asked seriously.

"No," Josh said laughing. "Be assured that when I do find out if she is going to give me a try or if she is just going to think I'm a complete idiot, you will be told swiftly and personally as to who she is."

"Okay then," Leo said turning back to his papers.

"I have a meeting."

"Oh have fun," Leo said with a grin.

"Sure I get the Sarah Canaly and what do you get 'War and Peace'," Josh began to leave the office.

"Yeah." Leo replied.

Josh grimaced and left the office.