A/N: Whoo! I gotses reviews! So, therefore, I dedicate Round 2 to two people: Niko-yasha on and Celtic Dawn Star on You guys rock!
ROUND TWO
Me: Ookay. Guess what, people?
Keira: You decided to redecorate the studio entirely in pink?
Me: … No.
Keira: Then what?
Me: Well…-pauses for suspenseful music, and then looks at Director when it is not immediately forthcoming-
Director: What?
Me: … you're supposed to put on the suspenseful music when I say Well… and pause.
Director: Oh. Okay then. Start again.
Me: Okay. Ahem. Guess what, people? Well…
-drumroll sounds-
Me: Okay, who did that? We're supposed to have suspenseful music here, not drumrolls. –is absolutely annoyed at the incompetence of everyone-
Director: Complain to the Sound Effects people, not me. I just tell them what to do, they actually do it.
Me: Well tell them I need suspenseful music and not drumrolls again this time, okay?
-a moment passes-
… This is the bit where Raz or Dante says something, you know, like they always do.
Director: They're not here.
Me: Pssh. If they're not back by the time I get to the suspenseful music…
Director: Okay! I'll make sure they're back!
-Raziel and Dante stroll in with McDonalds-
Me: -hisses in annoyance- Where…the hell…were you?
Dante: What does it look like?
Me: -sighs- That's the last time I try actually asking. Why the heck did you get Maccas?
Dante: Well…
Sound: dun dun duun…
Me: THAT IS ENTIRELY THE WRONG BLOODY TIME TO DO THAT FUCKING SHITWIT! IT'S WHEN I SAY WELL NOT ANYONE ELSE!
Director: I'll look into it.
Me: -fumes-
Director: I informed the Sound Effects people.
Me: Okay! Finally! Well…
Sound: dun dun DUUUUUNNNN!
Me: -cringes but keeps going- We survived to round two! Barely…
-everyone else is standing around stunned from the extremely loud, albeit successful, suspense music-
Me: Okay! Anyway! Hehe…waittasec…do they have soulburgers now?
Nearly everyone: What?
Me: Well, if Raziel went to get Maccas…and since he has no lower jaw and therefore cannot eat…
Raziel: I still eat.
Me: Yeah, but its all souls. Don't you ever want a bit of variety?
Raziel: Not really. They all have different tastes.
Me: Oh yeah? What would mine be, then?
Raziel: Hm…salt. –stares at me-
Me: What? Why? Don't stare at me like that! … Ehehehe…right then! Anyway, on with the show! -mutters- I hate my life, right from…now.
-louder- Okay! So! We continue with Raziel's turn! Um…yeah. Name of a place. Gods, I hate this.
Raziel: Don't we all?
Me: Probably. Anyway, we may as well start.
Raziel: Oh god.
Elder God: Again? I was having my beauty sleep!
Me: -snorts- You fucking well need it.
Elder God: That wasn't very nice! –grabs for me with tentacles-
Me: -dodging out of reach—behind Raz- Hey, shove it, eye-face.
Elder God: Just you wait till I get through the door and we'll see who's insulting whom!
Me: I look forward to it, but we have a game to play. So go off and play tiddlywinks or something, because I…AM…BUSY! A-hem. –resettles self- Anyway. Raziel, if you would?
Raziel: I'm slowly losing whatever patience I had left…if I had much to start with.
Me: Hey, you're here, no? Therefore, you have to play.
Trish: Bananas!
Me: …what?
Trish: Bananas.
Me: Triish… -sighs and places a hand to forehead- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!
Trish: Bananas.
Me: I give up! Find someone else for this! –stomps out of studio-
Everyone else: -staring-
Harley: -randomly appears- Yey, I'll be taking over! Just because Kat, who is writing this, can't be stuffed being all nice anymore so she decided to let me, my happy-happy-joy-joy self take over!
Trish: Bananas.
Keira: Are bananas pink?
Trish: -stares blankly at her- Bananas!
Harley: uh…riiiiiggghht…anyway…uh…Raziel? –looks around suddenly deserted-except-for-Trish-and-Keira studio- Where is everyone?
Director: -calls out- Lunch break!
Harley: Oh.
…
Um…-waits a while- Okay then…
-everyone suddenly troops back in-
Director: So…continue with your work, Ka—I mean, Harley. –sweatdrop-
Harley: Ehehe… -grins- So…
Tash: -barges in- I LOVE LIAM AIKEN! OMG OMFG OMGOMGOMG OMFG! –looks around- Hey, I thought Kat was supposed to be here. And what are you doing here? I though you were dead. –to Mundus-
Mundus: Er…no. I never died, being sort of dead already.
Tash: So if you're dead, and you're a demon, does that mean that Trish is dead too?
Mundus: Well she already died anyway. Right before she revived somehow and came to banish me and go all kissy-kissy with Dante.
Dante: I did NOT kiss her!
Mundus: Like hell you didn't.
…
I shouldn't be saying that about the place I rule, should I?
Tash: No…but then…that would mean that Dante's half dead, too, right?
…
Wait, if you're all dead, and here, doesn't that mean you're zombies?
Me: -runs back on- DANTE IS NOT A ZOMBIE!
Mundus: Half zombie, according to her logic.
Me: HE IS NOT A HALF ZOMBIE!
Dante: Hell, if I'm a zombie…I must be the first zombie to actually bleed, huh. I mean, they don't really bleed…just drop rotting bits of themselves on the floor all the time and groan, right?
Me: AAAAAAAAHHHH! –faints-
Tash: Oops.
Mundus: -pokes me with his toe…does he even have toes?- I think she's dead.
Harley: -also pokes me…with her finger- Nah, I think she's still breathing somewhere.
…
Perhaps we should get her off the camera view. –sweatdrop-
Director: Just get on with the show!
Harley: Um…okay.
Anyway Raziel…wasn't it your turn?
Raziel: Yeah. What of it?
Harley: -tries to ignore me- Um…so it's your turn. So…go and…do whatever you do in your turn.
Raziel: Oh. Okay. Um…-looks around wildly- Q.
Harley: As unlikely as it is, there's a—
Me: -suddenly revives- AAAAAAAAAHHHH! –almost faints again but is stopped by Director-
AAAAAAAAAH! Harley! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON MY SHOW?
Harley: Technically it wasn't your show in the first place.
Me: I DON'T CARE! I'M DOING IT BECAUSE I AM OFFICIALLY MORE OBSESSED WITH MOST OF THE VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS THAT ARE HERE THAN YOU ARE!
Harley: Um…meaning what?
Me: That Jak isn't here and never will be, because I'm still writing this even though you're in it.
Harley: Aawwww! Why can't he be in it? Just a little? One line?
Me: No.
Harley: One word?
Me: No.
Harley: Just a guest appearance?
Me: NO.
Harley: JUST BEING MENTIONED TO AN EXTENT?
Me: NO!
Harley: But…
Me: NO! End of story! –gets really angry-
Tash: I'm scared now. Really scared.
Raziel: I know.
Tash: She does that when she's really pissed, doesn't she?
Dante: Yeah.
Me: GET OUT OF MY SHOW! EVERYONE! EVERYONE!
-chases Tash, Harley, Mundus, Keira and Trish out-
Dante: Heey, I'm in this show!
Me: I don't care! –chases Dante and Raziel out-
Director: You can't do this to me! Um?
Me: I DON'T FUCKING CARE! –chases Director out-
Cameraman #1: What the—
Cameraman #2: --Hell are you doing!
Me: … -chases Cameraman #1 & #2 out-
-fumes for a while-
Elder God: -tentatively pokes a tentacle up- You forgot me.
Me: GAAAAAHHHHH! –forcefully throws EG out of the door-
Cameraman #1: -to Cameraman #2- We need to get back in there. The show and all.
Raziel: You want to risk that with her in there, fuming? Crazy man.
Cameraman #1: Actually, I'm a woman, but Kat keeps calling me Cameraman #1 and I can't be stuffed arguing…especially now.
Harley: Well…Jak wouldn't let himself be chased out of a studio by a random girl…
Chocolate, strawberry, banana, spinach, chicken, caramel, peach, apricot, plum, grape, lemon, beef, steak, apple, salt, sugar, pepper, cinnamon, popcorn, bread, vinegar,
DISCLAIMERS: If I owned Dante…you would be SCARED. VERY SCARED. BE SCARED. BE SCAAARRREEEEDDDD, I SAY!
Um…yeah. Just normal boring disclaimers because I'm too hyped about DMC3 to even THINK about nifty disclaimers for ALL the characters… I finished the game, y'know! And I cried at the ending. That was sooo sad…
Anyway, Capcom has all rights to Trish & Mundie, and Naughty Dog to Keira, and Eidos Interactive to Raziel & Co. Soo…yeah. I don't own 'em.
A/N: This was written months back, and I thought I'd lost the file, so I didn't try looking for it. Then, to my great surprise, I found it months and months after I'd 'lost' it. So, I actually finished DMC3 like, 3 months back or something when it first came out down here. But..I just didn't really want to change anything. Oh, and because there was no real Round 2, there'll be a second take of that. . Hope you enjoy it, I might make it with another game show when I finish the last few rounds on this.