Disclaimer: I own nothing from Gravi.

Authors Notes: Here is chapter four. This is where we start Noriko's torment really. The next chapter delves into it more and we'll slowly start seeing her downfall. Next chapter is where the story will pick up. To be fair to the other Role Players, I have to mention that a lot had to be cut out of the posts. Things between Tohma and Ryuichi that Noriko couldn't be there for, or wasn't there for. In chapter two, there was a sex scene between Ryuichi and Tohma in a bathroom. Noriko couldn't exactly be there, so I apologize for having to cut it out. I apologize because I think random, caught-in-the-moment sex is both hot and something beautiful. Please enjoy.

Noriko's Story

Fate. Tiresome, troublesome Fate.

How long can one continue being satisfied with giving and giving without receiving before they just take what they want? Thoughtlessly and selfishly getting caught up in a moment that lasts as long as a blink of an eye.

That is the way humans are. Letting themselves get taken away by small sensations that mean nothing later. Or they mean so much that one can't help but live on them forever, hurting those around them.

As much I as want to be able to say I'm happy with just a smile, I'll always want the hug with it. And when I get the hug, I'll always want the kiss and I continue on like that. Wanting more than I should get. More than I deserve.

I never wanted to let things go too far… and to this day I keep saying it was only because I wanted to see that smile.

I know it's a lie… and I'm not sure what hurts more. That fact that it shouldn't mean anything, or the fact that it does.

The Lion Lies With The Lamb

I honked the horn as I pulled up to the address given to me, seeing I was a little late (when wasn't I?), I thought he might be mad at me. I left the car in park, thinking back to school that morning.

"Bunny Boy!" I cried, seeing him in the hallway, rushing over to him. I stopped short, seeing the look on his face. "What's got you so down and out?"

He looked at me, bright eyes dimmed with something hurting him deeply. Neither of us said it, but we both understood. It was the one thing that had control over him like this.

Tohma.

"Hey, hey, hey! Cheer up, let me take you out tonight, okay?" I asked, wanting to see him smile again.

He just scribbled his address and stuffed it into me hand before heading into the bathroom.

"I'll be there at 8, promise!"

I sighed, glancing at the door again, waiting.

He slipped from the house almost shadow like, glancing back at the upper windows before jumping down the porch steps and into the car, his leather pants making sighing sounds as he got in.

"Hit it, Seaweed."

"Got it," I said, shifting into drive and pressing the gas, speeding off.

I gave him a sidelong glance, my fingers tightening on the wheel.

"So, ready to talk yet?" I asked as I sped around a turn.

We were quickly leaving behind the lights of the town as we drove off. I didn't tell him, but I was going to take him to my favorite spot, not the bar. But I made sure to bring along a few drinks anyway.

I rolled down a window as we waited at a light, the air cool. It was edging into summer, but not quite there yet. I rummaged around, finding a crumpled pack of cigarettes, lighting one up. A nasty habit I'd picked up a year or two ago, and now I just didn't feel like quitting.

I saw him knick a cigarette from my pack as he stared out at the night. "About what? The weather's been lovely recently, hasn't it?"

"It has," I agreed, flicking ash out the window as the light changed, driving off again.

I watched him. "Singers shouldn't smoke you know... bad for the vocals."

I smiled at him as I took a drag of my own, tossing him a lighter. What would one hurt? He wasn't doing so well, it was the least I could do. Spoiling him just this once wasn't going to kill them.

He smirked and flicked the lighter, taking a long drag from the cigarette, lost in deep thought.

"C'mon," I said, shutting the car off as I pulled up to a slightly wooded area. "I have something to show you."

I held the cigarette between my lips as I got out and went to the trunk, pulling out a blanket and a case of beer. I walked back over, standing in front of the car, waiting for him to join me.

"Bring my cigs," I ordered him, voice muffled around the filter.

He grabbed the cigarettes and climbed out, following me as best he could with his head turned up to the night sky, watching everything that happened above us.

"Gonna trip if you're not-," I was cut off as I looked back at him for a moment, stumbling myself.

My arms tightened around the things in my arms and I caught myself, flashing him a grin and a shrug.

I led him through and we came out onto a small ledge, over looking the city, lights glowing against the dark background of night. I placed the things on the ground, took a drag, and looked at him.

"My all time favorite spot. I love it at night," I told him, looking back over the scenery.

He smiled at me and grabbed the blanket, spreading it out before flopping down onto it, laying on his back to stare at the sky, the city lights in the lower half of his vision.I sat next to him, giving his stomach a poke.

"Gonna talk to me yet?" I bugged him, leaning over to smile at him, blocking his view of the sky.

I shifted, pushing the skirt under me more as I reached over to open up the beer.

"Remind me not to drive for a while," I laughed at him, popping open a can, grinding the cigarette into the dirt.

"Talk about what? There's nothing to talk about." He said, puffing on his cigarette without removing it from his lips, not looking at me. He grabbed a beer and took out his cigarette, pouring a bit of the liquid into his mouth, swallowing carefully.

"Alright, alright," I relented, taking a long drink from the can. "We can play it that way."

If he didn't want to talk, I wouldn't make him. He would tell me if he trusted me enough...

Or if I said the right thing.

"Tohma was out today," I said slyly, trying to edge something out of him. I'm female! I couldn't help but want to know!

He growled softly, downing half of his beer in one gulp. "How nice for the little fucker." he growled. "Stupid stuborn ass."

I nearly choked on my beer.

"What!" I gasped after swallowing.

Taking a deep breath, I looked at him, trying again more calmly. "What I mean is: what's got your panties in a twist over Tohma?"

If nothing else, I hoped the comment would at least make him smile.

"HE'S GETTING MARRIED! He's mine and he's marrying that…bitch!" He spat, downing the rest of his beer. "He's MINE!."

"Whoa," I said, staring at him. "Calm down. Take a deep breath and calm down."

I looked up at the sky for a moment before speaking again.

"You knew he was engaged when you took him. You knew this day would come eventually, Ryuichi," I told him quietly, resting a hand on his shoulder. "You can't change what has to be done."

"It doesn't have to be done, he's mine and Mika can go fuck off. I thought he would break up with her considering he's in love with me, my boyfriend, my lover, MINE!"

"It can still be that way," I told him, trying to calm him down. "They're just friends... nothing's going to happen, so i bet he can keep you as a lover."

Alright, now I was just pulling shit out of my ass here. I didn't know how to console him, especially when he got like this.

"He won't. It wouldn't be traditional." he said, growling. "Stupid little whore will have him and wrap him around her finger and probably...ew..have kids with him."

I laughed. "There's nothing wrong with kids, Ryu." I mussed his hair gently. "We were them once too y'know. Some of us just didn't grow up!"

I lit another cigarette. " 'sides, maybe you'll find someone else... you, uh, never know."

"Never! Tohma is my ONLY love. I will die without him." he growled, grabbing another beer, popping it open and drinking deeply. My ONLY one."

"I know that feeling," I said with a small smile, sipping my beer. "Loving that one person so much, you'll never let go."

I was worried about then next few words. They most likely applied to me too.

"But... one day... you just might HAVE to let go..."

I took a long drag, staring out into the lights of the city

"Never. I will never give him up. I will die without him. And I will kill to keep him," he said, staring at the stars. "He's MY Tohma."

"Well," I sighed, lying on my back, little pebbles poking me through the blanket. "Things will probably work out then."

What else could I say? If Tohma didn't want it that way, then that's how it would be? It would crush him, and all I wanted was to see him smile again.

I quickly drained the beer, tossing it to the side, opening another. I didn't want to think about his smile, or his eyes, or how he always did that really hot thing with his tongue when he sang...

"I should stop now...," I murmured to myself, and went to look at him again, taking a drag before speaking. "Listen, I just want to see you smiling. I hate when you're not."

"Don't feel like smiling. I feel like getting drunk and then beating the crap out of someone before a night of hot sex." he muttered, grabbing yet another beer and downing it. He then sat up and reached into his boot, pulling out a baggie.

He grabbed the box of beer, turning it on it's side and using that to cut out lines, angrily glaring at the cocaine. "You want?" he asked, looking up at me, raising an eyebrow.

My eyes widened, everything falling in place for me. But, I felt like I had had an inkling all along. It just explained so much.

"Well...," I paused, what would Tohma say if I condoned this? "Just this once, alright?"

I felt nervous, moving closer to him. Should I tell him I'd never done it before? He could probably tell. Why was I so nervous? Everyone tried drugs once in their lives…

He smiled at me, offering me a straw. "It's just like sex, easy once you get used to it. Clear your nose, sniff up a line, and tilt your head back if you don't want a runny nose." He took his own straw and leaned over, showing me how as a line disappeared.

I did as he instructed, mimicking his movements and actions as best I could. I sat back in shock after I sniffed, rubbing my nose furiously.

"Now I know why things DON'T go up your nose," I laughed, feeling rushed, before the slow numbing sensation took over.

"I knew there was something off about you! You've got some bad habits Ryu," I snickered at him, poking his side.

I drank the rest of my beer, opening another one before, resting my head on his chest. "So, tell me, why guys?"

"Why not? Hard bodies...nice asses and cocks...and I've slept with too many women to be interested in a relationship with them. They're just a job to me." he said, shrugging as he pulled out another cigarette, lighting it.

"A job?" I questioned, lifting my head up to look at him. "What do you mean?"

He looked up at me before sitting up. He took my hand, kissing it gently, before leaning in to my ear. "A kiss is five dollars," he kissed my cheek. "Oral is fifty," he licked down my neck. "Full on is a hundred," he nipped at my lips. "A night is five hundred." he smirked and pulled away, taking a drag from his cigarette.

I shuddered at his every touch, watching wide eyed before the words hit me.

"Ohmigod! Ryuichi...," I gasped, comprehending. "Why do you do it?"

Tohma was going to be so mad if he ever found out! Maybe he knew...? No, Tohma wouldn't date someone if he knew that they'd whored themselves out before.

Then again, I didn't think he'd ever date a guy either.

"It gives me money. I like it better when I get a guy but I can handle chicks. It's just sex, Noriko. Give lonely people a thrill. Think about it, you've been alone for months or even years, you get desperate, call up a number, and I show up on your doorstep." he grinned up at me. "Who could turn me down?"

"No one...," I admitted quietly, avoiding his gaze.

I finished off the beer at hand and lit a cigarette, staring back out at the view.

He laid his head on my thigh, hand absently stroking the flesh, humming softly as he closed his eyes.

I tightened up, holding my breath as I looked warily down at him. Why my thighs? My breath came out in a huff. He didn't know anything. I could pass for drunk and pretend to forget all of this tomorrow.

Easy.

I ran a hand through his hair, almost absentmindedly, speaking to him, "You have a great voice, even when you're not singing."

Well, at least he'd forgotten about the whole Tohma ordeal... for now.

"Someone once told me I was born for phone sex...wouldn't know, never done it but I find that comment amusing." he said, looking up at me. His nails ran lightly down my thigh, tickling it.

I gave a little sigh, goose bumps rising on my leg at his touch, sending a light shiver throughout me. Why my thighs!

Gods, what he did to me!

Well… if they touched my legs like that, what anyone could do to me… fucking sensitive legs."Phone sex isn't the same if you ask me," I commented, taking a drag off the cigarette in her hand.

"Mmm, as I said, wouldn't know." he said, placing a kiss on my thigh, humming softly as he did. "Are you cold?"

I blushed, ducking my head. "Just... just a little."

"Then I'll keep you warm," he said, moving closer and wrapping his arms around my waist, curling his body around mine, his head in my lap. "My Nori." he mumbled.

I snorted a light laugh. "Why yours?"

I rubbed his back lightly, smiling down at him, watching him. Okay, I just had to keep breathing normally, he just didn't know how his head in my lap affected me, he didn't. So, I couldn't really move. I just had to breath was all...

"Because I'm a selfish, spoiled brat and I said you're mine," he said, licking my thigh. "Mine, mine, mine." He hugged my hips. "Mine."

I inhaled sharply as I felt his tongue. Bad, bad, bad!

"Ryu," I told him with a shakey smile. "You shouldn't lick people..."

"Mm, why not?" he asked, looking up at me as he licked me again, running his teeth lightly over my skin.

Because it gives me evil thoughts? Because you don't have to, just being near you turns me on to no end? I thought, heaving a sigh.

I tilted my head back with a groan as he did it again. "..cause..."

"Because why, Noriko?" he asked, nibbling my skin, hands caressing my thighs. His tongue made small circles over my flesh, followed by small bites.

"I don't know," I whispered weakly, looking down at him.

I was completely done in. I knew it.

He sat up, pushing me back, kissing me deeply, his hand sliding up my body to my stomach as he kissed me.

I kissed him back, wrapping me arms around his neck.

This was bad. Tohma was going to hate me. Maybe hate him... I didn't think Ryuichi'd want that.

My body wouldn't listen. I moaned softly as his hands roamed over me, I shifted under him to accommodate him better, one hand trailing down his shirt teasing a nipple through the material.

He groaned and pressed more against me, his mouth leaving mine to nip and suck at my neck, one hand sliding up to caress my breast, teaching it through my shirt.

I arched into his hand, mine now fumbling at his pants. It was too much. It was everything I wanted and I couldn't wait any longer. And if it was just this once, who would ever know?

He rolled us so that I was on top, holding my hips, letting me take charge as he ran his hands slowly up the sides of my body and back down. "Eager, Nori?"

I leaned in, touching their foreheads as I smiled at him. "You have no idea Ryu... none," I breathed before taking him in a deep, hungry kiss.

My finger undid the button, slowing slightly as I unzipped the tight pants, wriggling them down a little to pull him out, stroking lightly, teasing. He groaned into my mouth, hands burying themselves in my hair as his hips jerked with my touch. He nipped at my lips, one hand sliding under my shirt to caress a breast, massaging it, pinching the nipple.

I moaned, nipping at his lip before moving down to his neck, grazing my teeth lightly over the smooth skin, kisses trailing after. I moved my hand a little faster, but not by much, just wanting to hear his voice again.

For me this time. Not Tohma, not a crowd, for me.

"Nori..." he moaned, pressing up into my hand, whimpering softly. "Please, Nori..."

I sighed softly into his neck, eyes closing in contentment. But I couldn't play like this for long.

I shifted, maneuvering my panties off from under the skirt, and positioned him before slowly settling down, hissing lightly. He moaned deeply, his hands sliding down to my hips as I slid down onto him, pressing up into me, watching me through slitted eyes.

"You feel good, Nori." he whispered.

I pressed my palms into his chest, breathing heavy.

"Gods... you... too," I gasped, adjusting slowly, enjoying the feel of him inside me.

I started moving, rising in falling to a slow time, whimpering slightly. He moved with me, sitting up to capture my lips in a long kiss, moaning softly as he held me close, closing his eyes.

I groaned into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. My knees were getting uncomfortable, but I would live. Stopping was not an option. I pulled back, resting my head on his shoulder, panting.

"Ryu...," I moaned softly, almost mewling, holding him closer.

He kissed me again as he moved inside me, groaning softly, one arm around my hips to guide me, the other touching my cheek gently.

I moved with him, panting lightly as I held him tighter. I shut my eyes, body reaching for that finish which seemed untouchable, before I pressed my face into his neck, muffling my moan of his name as I came.

He moaned my name, nails digging into the soft flesh of my body, teeth biting as he exploded inside me, panting softly, falling back onto the ground, taking me with him.

Gasping slightly, I fell with him, feeling a chill as a breeze hit the sweat coating my skin.

And it hit me... oh, shit.

"R-ryuichi...?" I asked softly, shifting so he was out of me.

He just groaned softly, turning his head as his eyes remained closed, chest rising and falling. I slipped off of his hips, redoing his pants before seeking out my panties, sliding them on.

Okay… it was a stupid move on a lot of counts… but maybe I'd get lucky…

You will note, throughout the chapters that lies and cycles are a big theme. I see life as a cycle, we continue them and cannot break them. Many will argue that you can break a cycle, but I feel that you find a way to continue it in other than how you did before. You may no longer date the abusers, but you may start dating people that can be abused, thus taking on the abuser role in some way. The cycle goes on. Or you may find that while you stop the destructive habits, you may make it your mission to try and 'help' those with your long gone traits. The cycle goes on.

I must say, if you know my writing style, this really isn't it. I didn't want to tamper too much of the original posts, so the descriptions are lackluster. Forgive me for that. But sometimes there is more in less.

Lies... Maybe I will post my theory on life next chapter. I'm not saying that life is a lie... but it's all in how we percieve things, isn't it?

Please review.

SL