Full House
Chapter 4: Movie Mayhem
AN: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh! How long have I been asleep? . Damn it! -bangs head on the wall- x.x
well anyhoo… sorry it's been a long time since I wrote… My sincerest apologies. -bows-
I've been so busy these past several weeks (the computer broke down, school started, read fics about switching bodies… and such) that I have not yet been able to write properly. So all my fics were on hold… Dang… I hope people would still read this crappy thing that I have created. Thanks to all who read and reviewed and to all who read but did not review. (note to self: Do NOT read fics about switching bodies! EVER AGAIN!)
Disclaimer: I'll put all the disclaimers at the end of the chapter so not to spoil the whole thing for ya.XD
The clock ticks… a heavy sigh… eight pairs of eyes glared at each other… a huff and a puff of smoke… another sigh…
"Ok…" a deep voice said. Its owner's amethyst eyes glared into slits. "There's only one way to settle this…" He declared.
The clock ticks again and the tension heightened… a bead of sweat rolled down… a huff, a sigh… and then a nod.
"On three,"
Everyone nodded in chorus.
"One… two… three!"
"ROCK PAPER SICORRS!"
Everyone threw in their hand… And, to much astonishment…Everyone held out a hand with 'paper'. But…
"Aha! I won!" someone exclaimed. Seven pairs of eyes glared at the orange haired German who was laughing in triumph. To everybody's disbelief and disappointment, he indeed won. All held out 'paper' while he was the only one who held out 'scissors'.
"Aww no…" grumbled the seven as the German pranced off and danced.
At the movies…
"Would you watch where you put your hand Yoji?" said a pissed off Omi who slapped the older blonde's hand for the nth time.
"What?" the playboy said innocently. "It's not like it's my fault your popcorn is down there."
Schuldich snorted. "You know, someone could interpret that in more ways than one."
"Oh, for example. You?"
"Heh, yeah." The German casually brushed off a lock of hair.
"Pift!" Omi pouted. "You're both sluts."
"Aww… Ish da wittle Omi-wommy pissy-wissy just because he didn't get to the amusement park?" Shuldig teased in his baby talk.
"Don't start Schuldich." Omi threatened.
"Oohh.. I'm shakin' in me boots" He mocked.
Omi looked down and saw that Schuldich was wearing black Faraggamo shoes. "You're not wearing any boots." The computer hacker pointed out while tilting his head. Yoji chortled. "It's a figure of speech Omittchi." He ruffled the kid's hair.
"Aww…Omi-wommy ish such a dummy!" Schu said, again engaging in his baby talk. Omi was about to strangle him When Aya suddenly bonked him in the head with a rolled up newspaper.
"Would you stop being a prick?" Aya said in gritted teeth. He was plucked to the very last nerve.
Schuldich clicked his tongue and waved his finger back and forth. "Now now Ranny-kins, remember what I've told you about your blood pressure."
A vain popped on the redhead's forehead. That was it. That was the last draw! His katana and black leather trench coat magically appeared out of nowhere (which is physically impossible that many scientists cannot even explain until now), giving Schuldich the Super Ultra Mega Over to the Max Death Glare™ and growled "SHI-NEEEE!"
The katana wielding assassin was about to charge when a sudden tug held him back, making him stumble backwards. He flew off the ground and landed safely on the American's lap.
"Temper temper." Crawford smirked, clicking his tongue and waving his pointer finger back anf forth. "You almost blew your own cover there."
Aya squirmed, suddenly finding himself katana-less, hand-cuffed and unable to move. "What the fuck?" He cursed and dangled the hand-cuffs. "I thought I told you to get rid of these!"
"You did." Crawford pointed out, poking the tip of Aya's nose. "But I'd predicted that it'd be handy someday…" He grinned. "And besides… their fuzzy!XD" he mused.
"Yeah, and pink too." Schu drawled. "Very feminine Ranny-kins."
Aya's eye twitched slightly with irritation. "Why you ̶ !"
The Abyssinian managed to lunge at the German, but Shuldig managed to avoid it sending him and Crawford smack down to the floor. Crawford took this opportunity to pin Aya on the ground and have his evil ways with him.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh! Get off me!" Aya yelled.
"Make me…" Crawford smirked again. Aya growled.
The two men went rolling under the seats and Schuldich, Yoji and Omi only watched in slight amusement. Just when all this was happening, Omi stood up and started towards the aisle. Yoji grabbed for one of the boy's legs to stop him, almost making Omi stumble. "No! You can't leave me!" He said melodramatically. Again, Omi tried to free himself by slapping the other's hand away.
"No get! I'm just going to get more popcorn!" he said, throwing a piece of licorice at the older man.
Yoji caught it with his mouth and ate it as he pulled the boy making the both of them topple down under the seats rolling with the other two. Schuldich just looked at everything in smirking amusement with his thumb on his chin.
"Well since, none of you are capable of going to the concessionary I'll take the liberty of going myself. I'm so good." He said cockily as he made his way to the aisle.
"Hey get me some alcohol will ya!" Crawford shouted after him as he tried to shift his weight on top of a cursing and pissed Aya.
"I don't think they sell alcohol in theaters…" he mumbled, and shrugged. "But… ok! Got it boss!" he raised a thumbs up in the air before pushing open the double doors out of the theater.
He made a bee-line towards the concessionary and surprised to see Ken and Farfarello arguing. The mind-reader found Nagi sitting on the counter while swinging both his legs as he watched the two men's brawl. Schuldich placed his elbows on the counter and hand to his chin before turning to Nagi. "Well well well… what's happening here?" he spoke in his mind.
"Ken's mad at Farf." Nagi said simply.
Schuldich raised an eyebrow. "I could see that… But do tell me why." He said as he squatted down to look at the snacks behind the glass.
"Well… Farf tried to buy me some alcohol but Ken said no. Then Farf told him that it would hurt God by making me drink. Then Ken said I couldn't drink because I was under aged… then he said that I was only six …and well… you get the picture."
"Oh…"
"But heck! I'm not six years old! That's why I'm letting Farfy pummel Siberian to dust!" he grinned mischievously.
"I see… interesting…" Schuldich said as bored as ever. He tapped his finger on the counter to get the cashier's attention. The woman behind the counter looked at him smugly. "What do you want?" she snapped.
"Can I have some popcorn? Oh, and Strawberry Pocky and licorice, and uhm… uh… Oh! Two bottles of alcohol please." He grinned when he finished.
The lady raised an eyebrow. "How old are you exactly?"
"Oh, it's not for me, it's for my friend."
"Crawfish can't have alcohol because he's only five!" Ken shouted at his back.
"What!" the lady said outraged. "You can't give children alcohol!"
"Don't listen to this bastard," He pointed his thumb towards Ken who was shouting at Farfarello. "My friend's actually 22… uh… or is it 23?" he counted his fingers.
"Oh! So he's 45! Good." She suddenly smiled and handed out two bottles of Vodka. Schuldich blinked at the sudden change of attitude.
Suddenly she shoved the two bottles to Schu's stomach and started throwing bags of food at them, including bags of chips, seaweed, noodles, popcorn, gummy bears, licorice, pocky… "Now go! Get out of my sight! Get!"
Schuldich took the bottles and Nagi by the arm and ran for his life towards the theater. "Better take for cover guys!" he said to the two arguing men.
"Duck!" Ken shouted who had noticed the situation and hit the ground. But Farf who was slow on the intake didn't take for cover and got hit with a heavy soda can in the crotch.
"Ow… Fucking god…!" he gasped, dropping to the floor and started to rock back and forth.
Schuldich can't help but to stop and laugh. Ken wasn't able to stand up and because he was rolling on the ground with hysterical laughter. Nagi raced toward Farf's side and asked if he was ok.
Another rain of food bags and bottles came and Schu and Ken burst towards the theater. They slammed the double doors shut and heaved heavy breaths. There was a sudden long pause before both of them looked at each other and started laughing.
"Man! That was hilarious! AHAHAHAHAHAH!" Ken cried out loud.
"Glad you have the same sick humor I got mien liebe." Schu commented.
"Don't compare me to that sick twisted mind of yours Schul-DICK."
"Oh hoh! The greatest come back of the year!" He said sarcastically.
"Oi! Where's my alcohol?" A voice yelled, both he and Ken looked at its direction.
"Coming dear!" Shuldich replied and pranced off towards Crawford.
Ken followed him with bags off chips and popcorn, but suddenly stopped and dropped all that he was carrying when he saw his supposedly boyfriend hand-cuffed and sitting on Crawford's lap. He dropped to his knees on the floor and covered his mouth.
"AYA! HOW COULD YOU!"
"Ken… i-It's not what you think…!" the redhead tried to explain.
"Oh…It's exactly what he thinks," Crawford butted in, pulling on Aya's collar and drawing their faces close. "Because you're mine…" his voice dropping a little lower as it should be.
Aya glared his trade mark glare. "Touch me and you die."
Ken started to whimper on the floor. "Y-y-you're… YOU'RE NOT THE MAN I MARRIED!" he cried.
People around them started giving affronted looks and started to whisper amongst themselves.
"Kenken, this is not the time and place for your emotional breakdowns." Yoji hissed.
"Aww, the poor child," Schuldig mused, as he picked up Ken from the floor. "Don't be jealous Kenken. You'll have you're turn with Crawford soon." He teased. "As for the mean time, you'll have me to play with."
"Shut up you psycho! Unhand me!" the soccer player tried to break free. But Schuldich's got other plans in mind. He suddenly scooped Ken off his feet and carried him in his arms like he was the bride of some sort.
"Sit with me mien liebe."
"NO!" Ken started kicking.
Aya stood up from Crawford's lap and was ready to attack the man who was hitting on his beloved Kenken, but was held back by the cuffs. "Darn these accursed things!"
After a few struggled moments Schuldich finally got into his seat with Ken sitting snuggly on his lap and sucking on a piece of licorice. No, rather… a hundred of those chewy things stuffed in his mouth to make him shut up. Schuldich grinned to himself with glee before turning to Crawford, throwing the two bottles of Vodka to him. As the bottles zoomed in the air, Aya caught one with an outstretched hand, uncapped it and downed the whole content of the bottle in one go.
His companions stared at him in aw.
"What?" he asked tilting his head, as he put the cap back on the bottle. "If I'm gonna sit here the whole night with this prat then I'd rather get drunk."
"Hey, where's mine?" Crawford whined.
"Here." Aya bonked him the head with the other bottle.
"OW! SONOVA- "
"Ssssssssshhh!" Some of the people in the theater hissed at their backs.
"Hey, did you guys even see at our tickets?" Omi said not minding the complaining people.
"No," Yoji said plainly. "Why? Did we buy tickets for the Spongebob Movie or something?"
"No. I think we got 'The Ring 2'." Crawford said.
"'The Ring'?" Ken's scared little voice peeped.
"Yeah, it's good isn't it? Nice n' scary." The German grinned while rubbing his hands together.
"Hey, I didn't come here to watch a scary movie!" Omi wined.
"Well to bad, you're just gonna have to cling to me when you get scared." Yoji teased.
Omi was about to smack the older blond silly when suddenly the whole theater went dark and the last of the movie trailers were shown. Schuldich leaned back to his seat and put his arms behind his head as if tired of boredom.
"I'd say this's gonna be one boooOring movie…" Shculdich drawled.
"Excuse me?" Ken started to protest, placing his hands on his hips. "Who was the stupid idiotic bastard who dragged us all out here?"
"Uh…- I did?" and that earned him a good smack upright the head.
"So stop complaining damn it!"
"I -hic- love you…" said an oh so familiar deep voice which suddenly had a dazed tone in it. All heads were turned to Aya's direction, who was found nuzzling on Crawford's neck.
"Boy, that alcohol sure was fast." Yoji mused.
"Aww… isn't that cute?" another smack hit Schu in the head.
Ken stared… didn't know weather to cry or be angry. He guessed crying would be easier. He suddenly threw a hissy fit and started wailing. "Why? Oh why! OH WHY AYA! WHY?"
"Shsssssssssssssshh!" another complaint came from the people around them.
"Would someone shut Ken up?"
Schuldich had the better idea of how to shut the former athlete up. He grabbed for Ken's hair and pulled him into a fast, deep, startling, long but sloppy kiss. The brunette groaned and tried to free himself from the grip but to no avail. He grabbed a fist and threw it hard to the German's face making the man cry in protest.
"DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN YOU BASTARD!" Ken said as he pulled away from the kiss. Schuldich rolled his eyes while rubbing his sore cheek.
Just then came an oh so familiar loud music and big bold yellow words came scrolling up the movie screen saying "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…"
"Hey waitaminute! Isn't this Star Wars?" Omi said out loud then he turned and glared to Schuldich who was stifling a laugh. "You said we were watching 'The RING 2'…!"
"Oh… so that's why there were those weird people outside wearing cloaks and painted faces. I thought there was a mad protest or something." Yoji realized.
Schuldich placed his arms behind his neck and leaned back, "Why would we watch a lame English version remake of a Japanese horror film when there are other good movies around?… And besides, this has Jedi Cleavage."
"err… Jedi Cleavage? What the hell is that?" asked a squirming Ken on his lap.
The orange haired shonen licked his lips before answering. "Well if Pirates of the Caribbean had Pirate cleavage, which is 'pretty pirates with open shirts' then this has Jedi Cleavage – pretty Jedi's with open tunics." He finished with an evil grin.
"Really? And I thought you were a hard core Star Wars fan." Crawford said.
"Oh I am. I am I hard a core fan of Gorge Lucas' Bitches… especially Anakin."
"Why him?"
"Because aside from the fact that he's an evil sexy bad guy, the guy who plays as him is gay. And a very sexy one at that."
Ken rolled his eyes. "Figures."
"Shsssssssssssssssssssh!" the people around them hissed.
Our boys decided to sit back, relax, shut up and eat popcorn.
------------------------------------------
"The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural." came Palpatine's famous line.
"You know what? It would be a better line if he just said 'Come… come… come over to the Dick Side.' " Schuldich said. A few of his companions chuckled to themselves. They were surprised to here the crazy cackling of Farfarello who was now suddenly sitting in front of them.
"Hey, how'd you guys get there?" Yoji pointed at Farf and Nagi out front.
Both of them shrugged. "No idea."
"The Schwartz Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural."
Everyone sniggered.
--------------------------------------------
After several expensive chase scenes, visual special effects, animated Yoda, light-saber fight scenes, A few hundred stromtooper armies, some weird aliens, a very sexy, dark and hot Anakin Skywalker turned to Darth Vader minutes later…
"Boy that was a hell lot'a crap!" Yoji criticized with a vain popping on his fore head. People were already going out of the theater in packs as they chatted about the movie. "I bet Spongebob was even better than that."
"Geez tell moi about it." Ken agreed while rolling his eyes. "Anakin was hot the entire time that he got too hot and got burned with boiling hot lava. Serves him right… Stupid idiotic love-sick bastard."
Schuldich stood from his seat making Ken to topple over to the floor." Ow! You inconsiderate bastard!"
Schuldich smirked. "Well, I'm off to get my money back. I demand a refund." He declared. "Who's with me?" He looked over to Yoji who was in a thoughtful state. "Whatcha thinking about Yoji?"
"I'm just wondering on how many ways to make out on a theater seat." He said while rubbing his chin.
Schuldich licked his lips and leaned seductively. "Why don't we find out for our selves Yotan?"
Yijo smirked. "Lets."
Omi rolled his eyes while pulling on Nagi's arm. "Lets get out'a here before something bad happens."
"Why?" Nagi tilted his head.
Omi pointed to the others. They saw Yoji and Schuldich totally getting it on, on the theater seat – Aya and Crawford passionately making out on the floor - a crying Ken who was crying over Aya and was struggling to get away from Farfarello who was trying to get it on with him.
Both boys gulped as the nervously escaped out of the theater.
-Owari-
Whahahahahahah! I hate this… this is crappy… -crumples the piece of paper and throwing it to the huge pile of more crumpled papers- Sorry folks, but you'll have to do with this. I just can't squeeze anymore ideas in this head of mine. It's been sucked dry. So would somebody out there give me ideas? I really need it. X.x
Disclaimer: As promised I put all the disclaimers here. Ehem. -clears throat and looks over to a piece of paper- Star Wars isn't mine! It belongs to Gorge Lucas and his cronies. And Weiss Kreuz isn't mine either. It belongs to Koyasu Takehito and his cronies. SO LEAVE MEH ALONE!
One more thing though. Is Hayden Christensen really gay? I have no idea. My friends tell me so.
Up next: a trip to the hotsprings! Kimono galore! And a truck full of deranged bishounen!
Review! Review! Review! Review I say! Or feel the wrath of my uh… pointy err… pointy thing!