Chapter Eighteen

By the end of the day Max needed home. Home of course being Logan. He'd proven that being away for five days.

She supposed yesterday she had just been in shock so it was easy to not think, today though…She didn't seem to know up from down. Everything was a swirling mess in her head. Still though, she tried to do what she had done for the nine previous months. Not think about it.

Of course it would make sense the one topic she was trying to avoid thinking about everyone else kept talking about. She rode off from Jam Pony with Herbal that morning and of course Sketch's kid was talked about…Hmm or maybe that was laughed about. Sketch procreating…not an appealing thought. She tried to imagine him as Logan was yesterday, somehow she couldn't imagine that gangly mess having patience for more than five minutes with a crying kid or changing a diaper at 5am, he at least wouldn't have been half as pleasant throughout. Original Cindy was right; she'd definitely done a disservice to that girl keeping her from Lydia. Funny thing was Sketchy was right, she was happier than Max had ever seen her. Sketch though…

"Max," he said coming up to her at her locker. "Smell my shoe," he said bringing the offensive object right up to her face as she turned.

"Ugh," she said hitting the black sneaker away, "get that away from me."

"I think it still smells like vomit," he said bringing the shoe up to his nose.

She just made a face at that.

"Come on smell it," he said shoving it back in her face.

She once more knocked it away, "Jesus Sketch I smelled it the first time. All I got was you need to use cornstarch or something because your feet are rank."

"That's the vomit," he defended.

"No that's your nasty self."

She just wanted Logan; she wanted his arms around her. It certainly didn't help that Original Cindy had repeatedly mentioned just how long Logan had been gone and god at lunch when she'd zoned out…

"Hey Max," he paused for a moment before repeating her name louder, pulling her out of her thoughts, "Max!"

"Huh?" she said snapping her attention back to the table.

"What is up with you today?" his words drawled in that insipid, yet endearing way.

"Please Sug had her boo gone a full four days. You think she's slept any?"

What had followed had been several crude comments by Sketch as he remembered, 'boning.' Which while it disgusted her also amused her; the problem was it also reminded her of just how much she wasn't getting.

-o-o-o-

Home of course was delayed by the adult life she had learned to live since living with Logan. Groceries. Actual groceries and not just two or three things picked up when desperately needed. Not that she normally performed this activity alone, no normally this was their Sunday morning activity, which amused the hell out of OC and Kendra. They'd hit up the farmer's market and the grocery store close by (whose prices weren't totally jacked up since they had a steady flow of customers).

She controlled her normal habit of announcing her presence as she entered their place as she had done so the previous day.

He looked up from his office chair as she appeared in the doorway.

"Let me tell you," she began before he could even greet her, "groceries on a bike. Not the easiest thing." Not like it had been a difficult thing, but it had been annoying and she was glad she'd thought about it before she'd bought eggs since the bags went flying into her bike on several turns from their position of dangling from her handle bars.

He laughed standing to her joking casual words, "Didn't look like it would be."

She pouted as she put down the two bags and moved towards him, lifting herself up for a kiss, pressing her body full into him.

"That was a nice hello," he said as they finally separated.

"I missed you," she sighed and continued to hold herself against him, "it was a long day. I had to smell Sketchy's shoes."

He made a face, "Do I want to ask?"

A slight shake of the head and smile, "No," she said as she went back to her greeting.

Max was ripped out of the safety of his arms by the reason she needed its reassuring presence.

He groaned and loosened his grip on her before giving her an apologetic look to tend to the crying infant.

She made a face once he walked past her and picked up the bags. She dropped them on the counter next to the fridge as she pulled her bag off over her head, listening to Logan laugh as she extracted the milk from it.

"You gotta better idea?" She smiled turning to him.

He smiled as he continued to hold Will against him rubbing his back and shook his head.

-o-o-o-

The pads of his fingers traced up her arm, his fingernails down as she lay with her head in his lap as the news was on the screen and the food was in the oven. She was once again struck by how completely dependent she was upon this man as a reason to take her next breath.

Sometimes even in that early haze of her own pain and fear, that overwhelming sense of detachment as if her mind was holding her back from diving into another dream that would tear her apart as she awoke…Sometimes she could see his pain, his fear. She'd wondered in those times who had actually had a worse two months. The things she'd lived through, the things she'd barely survived…He had lost her though, she had died. For fifteen days she'd lived with the fear of waiting to hear of his death, a fear that hadn't completed abated until she was in his arms again.

She had died though.

In his arms she had died.

There was a difference between rescued and resurrected.

He'd whisper it softly sometimes; tell her she was a miracle, a miracle in everyway possible. She'd restored his faith in everything, not a god, just life by simply continuing to live. She understood, so many things had been taken from her, but he had been returned to her. Nothing could ever compete with that. As long as she had Logan, she would believe the same as him, she'd believe in the world they lived in.

His fingers were starting to cause her mind to wander as he was unaware the responses his touch was creating within her. It was an absentminded thing, his body's lingering need to always been in contact with her, the movement reassuring them both that they were still with each other.

The movement that had made many movies, news broadcasts go unwatched, yet the movement always returned in moments of silence.

A smile traced her lips, a memory of her sister learning the reason behind doors and knocking. Logan swearing to buy underwear stock as his quite often fell victim to her impatience.

She suddenly caught him looking down at her, a matching smile gracing his lips. The weariness lining his eyes being joined by teasing…tempting…

Her lips were upon his before she even finished raising herself up. Sitting upon him, facing her entire reason for being, she wondered sometimes if she should tell him she knew of the ring she knew awaited her in the safety deposit box. Tell him that it didn't matter; no document could make this more real, more lasting. He had her heart forever. Not to mention the document would prove to be as false as the papers that would go into securing it, while they were real, genuine.

Her hands slid under his shirt, needing the same reassurance she had needed in those early months. His followed suit, but instead of lingering brought the shirt up, causing her hands to be ripped away from him. His eyes caught sight of the diamond resting just above the gray sports bra before her mouth moved upon his again and her hands were caught up in the back of his hair.

Seeing the necklace slowed his reaction time for a brief moment, she never wore it to work. He'd seen it yesterday and had taken it for a sign of how much she'd missed him, but he knew today it meant something else. Scared, a vulnerability she didn't want to face, she needed its reassurance, its/his constant presence just as she'd clung to him in those early days.

His hands found a renewed vigor and stroked her back and her waist as he pulled her closer to him. She broke them apart as her hands moved down to find the hem of his shirt, her hands lingered over his waist firmly caressing the flesh as she was pulled in tighter as Logan's attention moved to her always perfectly tanned shoulder and began to trail over to the necklace gently leaning her back.

The baby started to cry, shocking them both apart. They'd forgotten everything else apart from each other, including the fact that they weren't alone in the room.

Their breath had already started to grow heavy and they leaned back facing each other, Max still being held firmly in place by Logan's hands upon her waist.

What was there to say in a moment like that?

"I'll go check on dinner," she nodded licking her lips and snagging the discarded shirt as she climbed off of him as he too nodded.

Logan refrained from saying what was going through his mind, Zack's impeccable timing; he also refrained from groaning.