Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or anything relating to it. I do however own any characters you have not heard of before in the books.
A/N:
Hello again.
Liking this so far? I sure hope so because I HATE wasting my time.
What will happen on Snape's tour? Find out by reading!
3. Tour or Torture?
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An hour quickly passed for Snape as he brooded by his fireplace, thinking of every possible way Miss Jane could attack him. He inspected his reflection in a mirror.
Shaking his head in disgust at his worries, he left the dungeons, and waited by the polished, welcoming stairs.
He could not let this baffling buffoon get to him. If anything he believed that he would get the last laugh.
He decided that he would not provoke any arguments. That would leave him into another embarrassing situation. He impatiently drummed his fingers as he leaned against a banister.
Five minutes later, the Great Hall doors swung open, revealing Jane.
The highly ornate doors framed a perfect image of her radiance. As she left the hall, she called back farewells to the other teachers. Had she been talking to the others the whole time? She unblinkingly marched up to the stunned Snape. Her eyes contained hints of amusement.
"Cooled off, now you've conversed with precious Angel?" she teased.
Snape ignored her and trudged up the moving stairs. It was going to be a long day.
Snape showed the unintimidated Jane all the rooms in the castle, throwing facts and information at her mindlessly, hoping it was too much for her thick skull to handle. He ignored all of her questions, despite the fact that by the end she was yelling in his ear to gain his attention.
When he took her around the grounds he said nothing. He didn't even look at her, in case she thought of something else provoking to say. They stopped at the lake, where the tour ended. Snape halted and sourly muttered, "fin" to indicate this was the end of the road.
Jane didn't move. Neither did Snape. For the second time today there was an intense silence between them. Jane broke it with a probing question.
"'Something bothering you Severus?"
Snape couldn't maintain his silence anymore.
"Nothing that is your business, Professor," he lied.
"Oh, then why aren't you talking to me?" she asked, eyes becoming narrow.
"Who said I wasn't, Professor?" he answered briskly, sneering when he came to 'Professor'
"Stop calling me that. Call me Jane," she said quietly.
"Well Jane, nothing about me concerns the likes of you, so knock it off!" he snapped.
"Ohh… has ickle baby Sevikins spat out his dummy?" cried Jane mockingly in a babyish voice.
"Is it just me, or are you a book of sarcasm transfigured into the likeness of a beautiful woman who-" he stopped suddenly in realisation of what he had just said. He cursed himself. He had just complimented her.
"Oooh… so we are a gentleman after all," she smiled, "beautiful eh? Well Severus, I never knew you had it in you. 'Never thought you were the type to recognise beauty when you saw it." She ruffled her hair and falsely fluttered her eyelashes.
Snape twitched. This was becoming too much. First she embarrasses him at breakfast, and now she was feeding off his remarks.
"I would compliment you in return, but you probably will take it thinking it was some form of sarcastic remark," she blubbered with false sensitivity.
That was the last straw. Anger and hatred flowed through his body as he seized her by the collar of her cloak. With that he yelled and screamed at her every curse and pain he had ever felt, until his throat became hoarse. Her face seemed unaffected, if not pleased. He yelled some more even closer so she could receive what he was saying through that thick skull of hers.
He yelled about how much he hated his childhood; how he hated being enslaved by Voldermort; how he hated not being able to teach what he wished and how he hated her annoying, insignificant, little being.
He was so mad he was practically nose-to-nose with her. Her face seemed unmoved. She asked if he was done yet.
He glared at her, out of comments and breath to scream. She was so aggravating, all he could do was continue to stare and pant with exhaustion from yelling.
All he had left to say in a pathetic, loathing voice, "I hate you."
He couldn't believe it. In the short time span of two minutes, he had just poured his whole heart out to a person he had only known for a day, yet he already hated.
"Good Lord! Pull yourself together man. Have you ever heard of muggle anger management?" she asked, still nose to nose with him, "now that it appears you are done screaming like a little girl, I think I will take my leave."
Snape blinked, then realised she had just insulted him. Again. He began to growl like a mad dog, his upper lip curling.
"I would stop that if I were you, or you will bring about yet another embarrassing situation upon us. 'No doubt the whole staff will come running now they've heard a poor soul scream bloody murder. Anyone would think you hated me. Of course you don't, you just needed a little cry time, and I was the victim," she smirked. "I think if anything will shut you up this will. A treat for…lady Snape." She grinned and kissed him full on the mouth.
Snape's expression went blank, as he stuttered confused babble.
"'Bet that was a first," she said imitating his previous arched-eyebrow expression and a demon-like grin. "Good luck soldier."
She left with a large stride, leaving Snape still standing there watching his reflection in utter confusion.
Did she just - could she have just – but she just – and she just. Him. Severus Snape. The lanky outcast no one ever liked. A pretty thing like that wasted a perfectly good kiss. On him. Was that to confuse him?
He started. Damn. She had gotten the last laugh.
He could imagine her now, proudly strutting around, because she was sending the all-powerful Snape into madness.
With haste he turned and snuck into the castle via a secret passageway to avoid his fellow workers.
He could still taste her on his lips. It was… calming.
Then he stopped in realisation how horrible that would have been for her. Snape had never been kissed before. Why did she go to all that trouble to annoy him?
He shook his head for the third time today. No. No one must find out about this. He doubted Jane would say anything any time soon. It will be a secret.
Why should it? A voice asked him in the back of his mind. He answered himself with determination.
They all might take it the wrong way. They might think that they were a …
Snape stopped again.
So what if they were a couple?
Then he realised what he was saying and threw that thought out. Why would he ever love someone so annoying, thick and stupid and beautiful… That last thought echoed though his mind. He corrected himself. And ugly.
With that final decision- to pretend the whole thing never happened- Snape marched to his quarters to brew some potions for his upcoming class. Though he would deny it, if anyone was there to see him, they would say there was a skip in his step.
A/N: Ohh… that WAS interesting wasn't it?
Can you imagine kissing Snape? It irks me… just a tad.
Why did I write it? Because, it is the ultimate annoyance for ickle Snapekins.
As you can see, I didn't write the details.
I may be a romance writer, but there is a fine line between love stories and detail porn-like stories.
I really hate the latter. But what's this Snape actually thinking about the kiss? Is love in the air?
What does Jane have in store for poor Snape next?
Tell me what you think by reviewing!
Just keep reading… a mystery is about to come into play…
ALL HAIL THE FRUITY ONE!