This story is translated from a story, which I originally wrote in German, on another fanfiction website. No ownership of Hogans Heroes characters is implied, as usual.

Crittendon sat in his barack at Stalag 6, thinking of a way to get away from this prison camp. "The Germans will never be able to hold onto such an intelligent colonel as I am.", he thought. After an hour he laughed and cried out: "I know it!". Then he sat down and wrote the following letter:

Colonel Hogan,

I, the genius Crittendon want to escape and as I outrank you, I command you to help me. Every minute I am imprisoned is of great loss for the allied victory, so you have to help me. Tomorrow night, I will be around Stalag 13, at one o´clock. You will come and pick me up and then get me out of Germany with the help of your tunnel system. Please arrange everything for my escape.

Colonel Crittendon, alias "The Genius"

After he had finished the letter, he slowly he walked out of the barracks and headed for the Kommandants office. When the Kommandant finally let him in, he gave him the letter and said: "Would you please send this to Colonel Robert Hogan, he is in Stalag 13. It is of great urgency.". Then Crittendon saluted and went out of the office again. Berger, the commander of Stalag 6 was stunned, he did not know how to react. How did Crittendon know where this Hogan was? What matter could be of great urgency to a prisoner of war? Curious, he opened the letter and read it. While he was reading it, his eyes widened in surpirse. Could this be? Could this Crittendon really be that stupid?

Without thinking anymore, Berger took hold of the telephone and dialed the number of the SS-Dienststelle in Hammelburg. After a short time, he got major Hochstetter on the line and said: "Heil Hitler, major. I found out something, that I think is of great interest to you. I have got here a letter, written by my senoir POW colonel Crittendon. In this letter, he begs a certain colonel Hogan for help to escape. In the letter, he also mentions a secret tunnel system under Stalag 13. What shall I do?". Hochstetter cried out in pleasure: "Now I´ve got him, that nasty Hogan guy. This time he won´t escape. Don´t do anythin Berger, wait for me to arrive. Heil Hitler.".. After he had put down the telephone, Hochstetter called for an SS-patrol, to guard the area around the camp.

Hochstetter and his men had ben waiting since ten o´clock, when they finally heard a noise coming from behind a bush. A moment later, they saw Crittendon crouching out of the woods. In a few seconds, he was surrounded by the SS men. He looked around in surprise and a bit angry he said: "Hey, you´re not Colonel Hogan!". Hochstetter let out a mad laugh and brought his face down at Crittendons level, then he whispered: "Crittendon, you don´t know, how helpful you´ve been to us.", then turning to the guards, he shouted: "Take him away to the Gestapo headquarters, I think, he´s got a lot more information he can tell us.". In this moment, Crittendon finally realised, that he had walked straight into a trap. What a mess, he thought, and were are Hogan and his men? Why aren´t they here, where they should be?

At the Gestapo headquarters, Crittendon was brought into the interrogation room. Only the smell, that came out of the room and the bloodstains on the ground made Crittendon collapse. He broke down at Hochstetters feet and vomited over the boots of the Gestapo-man. Disgusted, Hochstetter jumped away. "You filthy English swine, didn´t you realiuse, this is just the beginning? You haven´t seen half of the things I am going to show you.". Abruptely, he stopped, as he noticed, that Crittendon had fainted. "Aaaaaaaaargh!", he shouted, "Guards! Get a bucket of water and throw it onto him, make him conscious again! I need to talk to him!". Minutes later, Crittendon, al wet, was conscious again. Hochstetter decided, that with force he would not succeed with this man, or only if he had lots of time, because Crittendon looked as if he would collapse again at any moment. Hochstetter decided, that it would be better to try it with being gently, hoping on Crittendons stupidity, which was so obvious, even the Gestapo-man could notice. Under his desk, he started a small tape recording device, to use as a prove against Hogan, if Crittendon would reveal anything that would be valuable to him.

"Crittendon, we studied your letter to colonel Hogan, there is no way you can deny its content, so what do you say?". Crittendon had finally realised, in which trouble he had put Hogan and he did not want to make the matter worse, so he said: "Well, I knew Hogan, when I was still in the Airforce. There he was known as being an excellent strategist and an outrageous pilot. When he was shot down, I heard he was imprisoned at Stalag 13 and I thought he might be able to help me. That´s everything I know". Hochstetter nearly exploded: "Aaargh! That´s not true, you know much, much more about him! You mentioned his tunnel system in your letter! Tell me!". As Crittendon shook his head, Hochstetter called in the guards and ccommanded them to "help" with the interrogation. Unfortunatly, at the first sing of them, helping, Crittendon collapsed again. Hochstetter, finally losing his temper entirely commanded the guards to bring Crittendon back to his cell and leave him alone untill tomorrow.

In his cell, Crittendon awoke and immediatly realised how wrong his whole plan had went. There must be a way, to get Hogan and his men out of this mess, which I put them in, he thought. After a short time of thinking, he finally had a plan. He would tell Hochstetter something about Hogan and his men, in trade for him to be set free, then he would run of and warn Hogan and the others. Quite satisfied with his little plan, Crittendon got back to sleep.

The next morning, the guard came to take him for interrogation. Almost happy, Crittendon followed him along the long, nearly endless corridors. When they arrived, Crittendon said to Hochstetter: "Major, I had a nice thought about this whole situation this night. I will give you all information you need, if you set me free after I´ve given you everything.". Hochstetter was overwhelmed. This man, there wasn´t anything more stupid in this whole war, except of Klink maybe, he thougt. When he found back his speech, he said: "Of copurse colonel, you tell us and we will set you free.". Under the desk he started the tape recorder again. Crittendon began: Well, colonel Hogan runs an intelligence and sabotage unit at Stalag 13. A small one, but very effective. Actually, he is the only one involved. He gets messags from London, picks up pilots, who were shot down, carries out sabotage missions, such as blowing up bridges and he is involved in many escapes, happening from other camps. He is known as Papa Bear and the main coordinator of al sabotage activities in this area. At least, the story of the tunnel is not tue, he comes in and out of the camp, by a hole in the fence, which is at the north-side of the camp. This really is everything I know.". Hochstetter laughed his mad laugh and said to Crittendon: "Very nice, colonel, that´s al I need. You will be released in a couple of days, after we´ve assasinated Hogan.". Laughing again, he strolled out of the room. Crittendon was left behind, stunned by the impact of his own plan. A few minutes later, he was back in his cell, trying to think about a solution, but he didn´t know one.............

Hochstetter put the tape in his pocket, jumped into his car and headed straight to Stalag 13. Klink was in his office, when he saw Hochstetters car coming into the front gate. What have I done this time? His thoughts were disturbed, when Schultz hurried into his office: "Major Hochstetter is here, Kommandant, he...". Schultz could not end his sentence, because Hochstetter pushed him awside, facing Klink, with a mad look in his eyes. "Klink, where is Hogan?". Klink saluted and answered: "Where should he be? In his barrack of course, where I ordered him to be, he wouldn´t think about disobeying my order, because I am a tiger and my personal". With a loud waaargh, Hochstetter stopped Klnk from speaking any further, then he shouted: "Schultz, get Hogan for me, now!". Klink could not say a word. This Gestapo-guy jumps in here, wants to see my prisoners, commands my guards around? Before he could protest, Hocchstetter shouted: "And don´t say a word Klink!, or you will be the next man, facing the anger of the Gestapo!". Klink nodded, totally intimidated. Both waited for the arrival of colonel Hogan.

Schultz came into barracks 2 and shouted, "Colonel Hogan, major Hochstetter wants to see me, please come, he is already really angry.". The fear in Schultz´s voice was obvious, so Hogan did not want to make him even more upset. While going out, he whispered to Lebeau, "Go, take the coffepot and listen, if there is something wrong, run! This is an order.". Lebeau nodded and Hogan went out of the barracks. Following the guard he said: "He schultz, what does that guy want from me? Have I done anything wrong in the last time? Haven´t I been nice enough to our little commanding tiger?". Grinning he looked at Schultz, who did not answer. "Hey Schultz, what´s the matter with you? You´re not at all like your usual warm self. Whats up?". "Well, colonel, honestly, I am really afraid. What is that Gestapo msjor doing here? The Gestapo always causes trouble, always".

When they arrived at Klinks office, Schultz stopped and let Hogan go in. Hogan walked throught the doorway and stood now in the middle of Klinks office, facing Hochstetter and Klink, who were both standing behind Klinks desk. When Hochstetter saw him, he cried out: "Klink, WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING HERE?". Klink said: "This is colonel Robert E. Hogan, my senior POW, he". Again he was stopped from talking, by a loud waargh from Hochstetter. Hogan, looking amused at this sight now turned its full attention towards the small German major, who finally seemed to come to the point.

"Hogan, now I´ve got you. On this tape, he reached into his pocket and retrieved the tape, I´ve got the prove, that you are running a sabotage unit. And, as an additional prove, we got this letter from Crittendon, which he wanted to send to you. Here, you can read it.". Hogan took the letter. As he read, al colour drained from his face. How could Crittendon have done this? Why? Why did he put the lives of so many men in danger? Before he could finish thinking about the most painful way, he could kill Crittendon, if he would ever have a chance to do so, Hochstetter turned on the tape recorder and said: "And just listen to this, colonel". After he had heard the tape, Hogan felt an enormous rage coming up. He wanted to have Crittendon right here, now, so that he could tear him apart for his stupidity. After his rage had calmed a bit, he wondered. Why didn´t Crittendon mention his men? Why only Hogan? Before he could think of a reason, Hogan felt a pair of handcuffs clicking around his wrists. Hochstetter said: "Now Hogan, we will take you to Berlin tomorrow for further interrogation. You will spend the rest of your stay in this camp in the solitary confinement. Scultz, take him away.". This was to much for Klink. He burst out in a rage of anger: "Hochstetter, you won´t do anything! You come in here, command my men, want to take away my prisoners. You are not going to. I outrank you, so I command you to leave this camp alone until you´ve got a signed order from the Luftwaffe staff, that tells you can take Hogan.". Hochstetter turned purple: "KLINK!!! You fool! I will do how I please! I am a member of the Gestapo! Himmler himself will come to know about your disrespect! I will report to Berlin, that you are trying to protect an allied flyer! I will ruin your career, your life, your family, everything if you don´t let me alone!". Klink, shocked by this sudden outburst of anger backed away and slowly said, with a fearful, shaky voice: "Yes, major. H-h-heil". Befor Klink finished Hochstetter got out of the office, taking Hogan to the solitary confinement cell. Before he closed the door he shouted at Hogan: "This time, you are not going to escape colonel. This time you will find yourself facing a firing squad!".