A/n: I don't own the song Scars by Papa Roach, but it is my favorite song at the present moment. And FYI, I don't do the things Mel does in this chapter, so don't anyone freak out, ok? I just know people who do. Thanz for reading, don't 4get to review! Steph

Melani sat on her bed listening to music, but not the stereotypical cheerleader music. The song playing in her CD changer at the moment was Scars by Papa Roach. She closed her eyes and thought of how this song was her life in a nutshell. She had pushed the only person she really cared about away, she was pissed at the person who cared about her, and she was out of concealer, which meant she had to wear a sweatshirt to cover the marks James had given her the night before until she got a chance to get out to get some.

Damn, my life sucks she thought. She slowly took in the words of the song and thought of cutting herself for the first time in a while. She got up and walked into her bathroom and opened the cabinet over the sink. She pulled up the loose shelf and pulled out an old case and opened it, looking at the razors she had hidden in it all those years ago. What the hell are you thinking? her conscience screamed It took you soo long to stop that, don't start again! Remember what they told you, no guy is worth your tears, much less your blood. Mel sighed as she looked at the razors. It had been over 3 years since she had cut herself; being depressed at 13 was not a good thing as she had found out. Months of therapy later, she promised not to resort back to that. The scars had faded, only to be replaced by new ones from a different origin. She flashed back to one hard night:

"Please don't do it again honey" her mother pleaded after catching her

"I have to mom, it's the only way I feel better, just let me!" she screamed, blood appearing on a facecloth she held to her wrist

"No Melani! Life cannot be that bad! Nothing is worth you spilling your own blood, stop honey, please stop!"

"NO!" she screamed, grabbing another razor and bringing it to her wrist again. Her mother watched in horror, frozen to the spot, as she cut herself again, more blood appearing on the cloth

"Melani stop!" her mother cried, tears falling down her face "Honey, give them to me, please honey!" Mel looked at the pain in her mother's face and noticed it was much deeper than what she felt. She slowly handed the razorsto her mom before collapsing on the floor in tears.

Melani snapped back to reality. It scared her that she could recall every detail of that night. She shook as she took a razor out of the case and looked at it. It always made you feel better, just do it. Remember, I tear my heart open just to feel she thought, quoting the line from the song. She took a deep breath as she slowly placed the razor on her arm. She was about to push down when she heard someone call her name. Quickly she put the stuff away and walked out into her room, seeing James sitting on her bed

"Baby, I'm soooo sorry!" he said getting up and trying to hug her, but she backed away, arms crossed over her chest "I guess I deserve that, after what I did"

"What did you do?" she said, just like he thought.

"I would have never made you say I love you. I don't know what got over me, I know how important that sentence is to you. I can't believe I did that to you." He looked at her and saw the pain in her eyes, more than just emotional "Can you take off your sweatshirt?" he asked, still looking at her

"Why?" she said. He looked at her pleadingly and she understood why. She pulled the sweatshirt over her head, exposing the black bruises

"Oh my God" he breathed as he looked at them "What did I do to you" he walked towards her, but she backed away "Please Mel" he whispered. She stopped moving once she hit a wall and he kept walking until he was right against her. He grabbed her arm and kissed the bruise on her arm. He looked at her, then kissed the other one. Totally absorbed in the moment, he looked at her and passionately kissed her on the lips.

Melani pulled away and pushed him off of her "You think you can pull off all the crap you did last night, and just kissing me will make it all better, will make me want to be with you" she practically yelled "I hate you right now! Look at me, do I look like the happy Mel everyone likes? NO! Wanna know why? Because my boyfriend abuses me, I got into a fight with one of my best friend today and I almost cut myself for the first time in 3 years!" she screamed

James stared at her "You almost cut yourself because of me?" he said, shocked "Melani, don't ever do that. I would much rather spend the rest of my life without you then have you hurt yourself because I hurt you. Promise me you won't do that! Promise me Mel!"

Melani looked at him as she made her way to the door "I can't promise anything anymore. Bye James" she said and walked out the door and out onto the beach.

Bradin walked absentmindedly around the beach. I have to find her, she needs to know I'm here for her. I know where she'll go Bradin ran up the beach and out of sight

Melani wandered the beach alone, walking so the water hit her feet. She just wanted to walk into the ocean and never come out. How fucked up is my life that I want to do all the things I swore never to do again she thought. I can't believe I've gotten in so deep. I need to think, I need to get away…I need, God I don't know what I need!

She slowly made her way to the forest on the edge of the beach. She followed the path and went through the hedge to her own private paradise. She closed her eyes and put her head back as she listened to the running water of the stream. She opened her eyes and saw Bradin sitting there, feet in the stream. "What are you doing here?" she said, not looking at him

"I came here to see you" he said, not looking at her as well

The two sat in silence for a while until she looked at him "And you knew I'd end up here, didn't you?" she said, a tear slipping down her cheek

"Of course I did" he said, pulling her into a tight hug "You can't get rid of me Mel, you're stuck with me, no matter what crap you pull to try to push me away"

"Bradin, I can't imagine not being with you" she said, crying into his chest "Bradin I hit rock bottom this afternoon, legit rock bottom"

Bradin pushed away and looked her in the eyes. They were as blue as the water in the stream next to them "What do you mean Angel?" he said concerned

Melani sighed "When I was in 8th grade I was a mess. Like the definition of a mess. I wasn't happy, I was depressed, and I cut myself. I started in November and my mom caught me in May.My parentsmade me go to therapy for the whole summer and the peopletaught me to put my anger in other places, like surfing, that's why i surf every morning.So I swore I would never hurt myself again, but today I was like 2 seconds away from doing it, I had the razor on my wrist" she looked down, so ashamed of herself

Bradin looked at her. "I don't want you to ever do that again" he said seriously. She concentrated at the ground. He took her chin and lifted it up so she was looking at him "Promise me you won't do it again Mel"

She sighed "I don't know if I can promise that Brae" she said, looking in his eyes

"Yes you can. If ever you feel like you need to do that, call me and we'll come here. I don't care if you're mad at me, or at James or at the world in general, I want you to call me. Got it?"

Melani looked deep into his eyes. He saw a mirror of the pain she saw in her mom all those years ago "Ok, I promise" she said, "I just can't control it sometimes, its so hard"

"I bet it is" he said hugging her again "But I won't let you hurt yourself, not ever" he pulled her in close and hugged her tighter than he ever had.