From Outside The Bedroom Door

Summary: One-shot. How Lily and James got together, sort of. Anyway how Lily got some sense beaten into her. Eavesdropping is fun, and this is why.

Rated for bad language. Naughty Sirius.

Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine... only the horrific dialogue belongs to me, etc. This story is mine. The characters are not. I make no money, I get no credit. Unfortunate, but that's life. :D Don't sue me, I'm poor.

Flames will be used to make toast, as I've just moved and have no toaster.

Mm, toast.

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Lily Evans, Head Girl and top of her year, was eavesdropping.

That's right, Lily was breaking the rules of society for once, and intruding upon another's conversation. In fact, it was with the two people she claimed to hate the most - James Potter and Sirius Black. Mostly, she just wanted to find out why James had been crying most of the day. It was the last week of school, and he seemed extremely depressed about something. Sirius had dragged him back to his room in the commons area he shared with Lily to talk things out, and naturally curious, Lily had decided to listen in. Here is what she heard.

"What's wrong, Prongs? You know you can tell me," Sirius said, unnaturally concerned.

"Don't worry about it," James said, making a half-arsed attempt at a snap.

"Come on, you tell me everything. You can tell me this."

"I don't tell you everything."

"Name one thing you haven't told me."

James hesitated. "I'm a virgin."

"What?"

"I'm a virgin. You didn't know that."

"Hell no I didn't know that! Since when, mate?"

"I couldn't... I couldn't make myself."

"Ah."

"I wanted to, but I wanted my... you know, my first time..."

"I get it... so what's wrong, mate? You can tell me, I swear I'll keep my mouth shut."

No answer. Sirius spoke again.

"It's her, isn't it?" he said, quietly, so Lily had to lean closer to the door to hear it.

A sigh. "Yeah. It is. I don't know... she just... she just doesn't..."

"She doesn't know all of it, James. You gotta tell her all of it."

"She doesn't like talking to me, you know that."

"I know, but she's got to know. This is our last - That's it."

"What's it?"

"That's why you're crying. It's our last week and she still has no idea."

"Yeah..." James muttered, "Yeah, that's it."

"Let her know. Make her listen. She's got to know. Even if she doesn't... you know, return it... she's got to know. That'll make you feel a bit better."

"I'm not going to make her do anything. I can't. If she doesn't want to, she won't."

"God damn it, Prongs, where the hell is the side of you everyone else sees? You HAVE TO MAKE HER LISTEN. If you don't you're gonna be like this forever. I don't like having you like this, mate. If she can't see..."

"She can't because I don't show her."

"Then show her! Fuck, Prongs, she's got to fucking know! She ain't gonna listen to me, or Remus, or even one of her friends, and she damn sure ain't gonna listen to Peter! Fucking tell her, Prongs. She's got to know before we leave or you're gonna kill yourself."

Quietly, "I've tried."

Intake of breath. "You've what?"

A slight whisper of fabric against skin. Sirius, "God damn it Prongs. What the fuck? You could've come to any of us, talked to us, but you... fuck."

"I didn't want to talk to you. I didn't want to do anything. I wanted to die. So I tried."

"My God," Sirius said, "Fuck. If you don't talk to her, Prongs, I will. I'll steal her wand, Body-Bind her, and yell it if I've got to. She has to know. You are not going to kill yourself over Evans. I know, I know. She's... she's..."

James filled in the rest, quietly. "She's all I've ever wanted but was afraid to ask for. She's all I've ever needed but couldn't have... She's all I've ever loved that I wanted so desperately to hate."

"Prongs, I hate seeing you like this. You've got to say something to her."

"What? 'Hey, Lily, nice to see you, and by the way, I slit my wrists several times in several places because I love you and I know you'll never love me back'? How would that sound to you?"

"James, come on. I've never seen you cry before. I've never seen you like this. I swear... if you don't tell her, I will. Maybe she hasn't seen the real you. Maybe it's not really you she hates. But the fact remains that you still think she hates you, and you can't live with it. If she won't listen, I will make her. You can't, but I can. You love her too much to let her go without knowing it. She just doesn't realise what she could have, if she gave you a chance."

"I fucked up too bad, Sirius... I can't just go back and tell her how much I love her."

Before Lily realised it, Sirius was shouting. "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, PRONGS, SHE'S GOT TO FUCKING KNOW! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE LIKE THIS, AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO KILL YOURSELF! YOU LOVE HER, THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH FOR HER, BUT NO, YOU'VE GOT TO STEP BACK AND FUCKING WATCH WHILE SHE GOES OFF AND DOES HER OWN THING! WHERE THE FUCK IS THE JAMES I KNOW WHEN YOU NEED HIM? WHAT THE FUCK HAS GOT INTO YOU? IF YOU DON'T FUCKING TELL HER, I FUCKING WILL, AND IF I'VE GOT TO TELL HER, FIND YOURSELF A NEW BEST FRIEND!"

Lily heard quick footsteps, and quickly ran back and threw herself into a chair. She picked up a book and held it up as if reading it, hoping Sirius would fall for it. He came out looking pissed.

"Hello Black," she said pleasantly, still shaken about what she'd heard.

"You been there the whole time?"

"Yes."

"You hear me yelling?"

"Couldn't make out what you said," she lied.

"Well, if you don't know by the end of the week I'm gonna tell you. I'm leaving now, if I were you, I'd go in there and ask Potter what just happened." Sirius made to leave, but stopped and looked at her book. He slowly raised an eyebrow, and an amused look came over his face.

"What now?" Lily asked.

"A Thousand Sex Positions For The Experienced Male?" Sirius said, reading off the cover of her book, "Nice try, Evans, but you're not male, and I want that book back."

Lily swallowed. Sirius laughed, but quickly sobered up. James had just come out of his bedroom, tear stains down his cheeks, and had, for the first time in months, changed into a short-sleeved shirt. As soon as she glimpsed his arms, Lily was on her feet and walking to him. She grabbed his arm, taking care not to touch the cuts. One of them looked fairly fresh, and deep. It was a miracle he didn't die. He winced, expecting her to start shouting at him about how the Head Boy should set a good example for younger students, never mind that none of them had seen, they were sure to, and then what? The lecture never came. Lily didn't shout.

Instead, she hugged him tightly.

And thus began the relationship that would change a million lives.

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A/N: I know, I know. Bad ending. But I blanked out, couldn't think of anything else... and besides, you know you loved it. You've read, now review or I'll poke your eyes out.