What do I feel?

A/N: So, hope you guy liked my last chapter. I've got this perfect scene for the first Quidditch game planed out in the empty space I call my mind….just gotta figure out the spot to put it in. It could be this chapter, next chapter or even 20 chapters from now( though not likely). Any ways, you guys'll love it. Thanks to my reviewers and my Beta-reader for this chapter: NekoJJ.

One more thing. I just found this out…: If you're doing a pairing, and your using a character that nobody knows anything about, you can twist them however you want. Sucks though…if I try to twist Harry, I'll probably have a horde of fan girls chasing me with voodoo dolls, trying to poke holes through my eye with a 10 inch needle. That would hurt….ahhh….screw it. I may make him one twisted bastard yet!

Chapter 5:

Nearly a week past since Harry's unanticipated talk with Angelina. During that week he had successfully avoided her, fearful that she would start questioning him about what he had told her in his moment of vulnerability. It was now Monday, and Harry was just leaving Professor McGonagall's classroom, thanking who-ever it was that ruled the world that it was his last class of the day. Unfortunately for him, he didn't't notice a certain dark haired, Gryffindor, quidditch captain walking behind him….until…

"Hey, Potter! Get over hear!" Came the voice. Harry froze. Dreading the worst, he turned around, though not without a groan, and walked over to her, already resigned to his fate.

When Harry reached her, Angelina grabbed him by the arm and dragged him with her, saying, "We need to have a talk." Harry gulped, and followed her. He didn't't even bother struggling in her grasp like he normally would have done. He got the distinct impression that if he made a run for it, he wouldn't't be able to walk for a few days.

Angelina finally dragged him into an empty class room, let go of his arm, and sat on one of the desks.

Sighing, Harry opened his mouth to talk, not even bothering to sit down anywhere.

"Okay, Angelina. What did you drag me off for?" Harry put on a fake innocent look…ok, well it was half fake, seeing as how he wasn't't positive that she wanted to talk about what he thought she would talk about. Angelina glared at him for a few seconds. The thought that he might actually have no idea about what she would ask him about briefly crossed her mind, causing her glare to soften.

"well…actually I just needed to ask you some…er….questions…" Angelina trailed off, looking at him expectantly. Harry half groaned half sighed (A/N: use ur imagination….you SHOULD have one in there somewhere). Looking down, he posed the a question that shouldn't't have needed to be asked, yet he had to make sure that he wasn't't getting the wrong idea.

"You wanted to ask me questions…about what I said. Right?"

Angelina nodded.

"It confused me. I know you must have lots of reasons to hate the world, and I probably couldn't't even imagine half of them. I don't think I would want to…but the point is, every one should at least have something to live for, but it's like….like you hate everything. You were talking like you have nothing at all that puts any spark in your life, buts that has to be impossible…." Angelina trailed off, looking softly at Harry. She had seen the aged looked enter Harry's eyes as she spoke. Harry was now looking down with one of the saddest looks that Angelina had ever seen. He mumbled something to himself, but she still caught it.

"Maybe…I don't have anything to life for. Maybe I do hate it all." Harry was still looking down, yet she didn't't miss the pained look that came across his face. He zoned out for a few minutes, causing Angelina to jump a little when he suddenly came out of it and snapped his head up.

"I can't talk about this yet…" Harry said softly, giving her a pleading look. Angelina sighed, and nodded her head. Harry made for the door, but stopped when Angelina called out for him.

"Harry…I…won't make you tell me about any of it, but…I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to…about anything….ok?" She said softly, her voice full of sincerity. Harry looked at her a few minute, sorting out what she had said to him. Finally believing she was being truthful, he gave her a small smile.

"Thank you….Angelina." harry then left the room, leaving Angelina sitting there, staring after him.

After leaving the room, Harry walked down the hallway towards his common room, the smile still gracing his face. He felt that now, he could add Angelina's name to short list of people that he considered true friends. He at least hoped he could be sure of his decision, and that if he was wrong and she betrayed him…well, he would hope that it never happened, but if it did he decided he would deal with it when, no if, the time came.

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Later that night, Harry, Hermione and Ron were down in the the great hall sitting next to each other and eating dinner. Hermione was, as usual, trying to eat and read at the same time. Please note the word "trying". To everyone around them, it looked as if Hermione was trying, and failing, to feed the book she was reading.

Meanwhile, Harry and Ron were having a discussion about the many ways they could possibly do away with Umbridge.

"Hmmm….you think she'd notice if we turned that ugly head thing on her head into Devil's snare?" Ron asked innocently.

"Probably. I say we slip some extra strength Draught of Peace into her tea. If she doesn't't kick the bucket, she'll at least feel like she has a massive hangover." Harry said, and evil, little smile on his face. For once, Hermione wasn't't telling them off for speaking ill of teachers. This was probably because she A) found out about Harry's hand, and B) she just plain hated Umbridge.

Harry and Ron kept at it for several minutes, their ideas becoming more and more gruesome. Ron had just finished an explanation of how they could impale her on a Javelin while making it look like Peeves did it, when Angelina came up to them. She cleared her throat to get their attention, and they turned towards her with slightly annoyed looks on their faces.

"Sorry if I interrupted something," she said with a amused smile on her face. She had caught some of what they'd said and thought that it was a good idea. Getting her mind back on topic, she continued. "I just thought I'd let you know that I have the date for our first Quidditch match."

The frowns vanished from the two boy's faces, only to be replaced by wide, eager smiles.

"Well? Out with it women!" Ron commanded. Harry shot him a look, but Angelina chuckled softly.

"Next Saturday. It starts at 11:15, and it's against Slytherin." Before giving them a chance to say something, Angelina left them. Ron looked at Harry, a small frown returning to his face.

"What's with the look?"Harry asked, noticing Ron's face.

"Just wondering why we always have to play them first…" Ron grumbled. Harry let out a soft chuckle.

"I really couldn't't care one way or another. So long as we beat them that is." Harry said. Ron grunted.

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To Harry, the week passed way too slowly for his liking. Harry didn't't really have to many problems, but that left him more attuned to everyone else. Everyone else pretty much consisting of Ron. Ron, he noticed, became more and more silent and reclusive as the days passed. Harry would often watch him, trying to think of something he could say to make him loosen up, but to no avail. Saturday came quickly and Harry, Ron and Hermione entered the Great Hall, only to be greeted with a random mix of Cheers and Boos. Ron, at this point, looked as if he was going to release what was left of the previous day's dinner. Harry, noticing his friend's discomfort, grabbed his arm and led him to the Gryffindor table. All Ron could do was follow him.

After they had sat down, Angelina came over to them. She took one look at Ron and sigh.

'Lord, please tell me I didn't't make the biggest mistake of my life.' Angelina prayed to herself. Turning away from Ron, she addressed Harry.

"Have a quick breakfast, then meet me outside in fifteen. I want to get a feel for the conditions we'll be playing in." She told him. Harry, after giving Ron one more look, sighed and nodded. Angelina gave them a little smile, then went off.

"Well," Harry said. "You heard the lady. Gotta eat." And with that, Harry took a piece of toast and shoved it in Ron's mouth. Hermione gave him a sharp look, but Harry just sat there eating his own piece and watched Ron struggle with his food.

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Fifteen minutes later, Harry and Ron were making their way to the Gryffindor locker room. Harry gave one final look at Ron and noticed he looked a little better….ok, well not really better, but at least now he wasn't't the color of chalk anymore. Harry gave another sigh, slapped Ron on the back, and went into the locker room. Ron followed.

When they entered the locker room, they noticed everyone was already getting dressed. Harry didn't't catch any sign of Angelina, so he figured that she was in the Captain's office or something. Looking around the room, He saw Katie and Alicia finish putting their robes on, and glimpsed Fred and George scratching themselves in some of the more private areas. He bit back a laugh as he remembered their last practice and how they had told them about the reaction they kept getting when testing their skiving snack boxes. Harry went over to his area, and had started getting dressed when Angelina came out of the captain's office. She surveyed everyone, the went to one of the benches and sat down.

When everyone, including Harry, was finished getting dressed, Angelina signaled for them to follow her outside. Standing on the outer rim of the quidditch pitch, they all looked around them, each making their own judgment on the weather conditions. Finally, Angelina cleared her throat. Everyone turned towards her to listen to what she had to say.

"Ok, seems like it's pretty good weather. Shouldn't't be too hard to keep track of what we're doing." She began. "There's no big gush of wind or anything, so I don't want any excuses from the chasers about crappy aim, got it?" she looked over at Alicia and Katie. After getting a nod from each, she went on. "Also, it's plenty clear, so Ron, you shouldn't't have any problems seeing the Quaffle coming towards you. Just remember to cover all three goals, ok?" He, too, nodded. "That goes the same for you two and the bludgers. I want good cover. Got that?" Fred and George grinned and gave her thumbs up. Angelina sighed and shook her head. Finally, turning to Harry, she finished her little speech. "And you Harry, since it's not raining, you will be able to see the snitch without problems, right?" he nodded. "Good. Just do your thing, and thank the gods for the perfect conditions, alright people?" After getting a chorus of 'Aye's', she led them back inside the locker room. The team sat relaxing for a few minutes before the sound of many feet could be heard outside. Harry looked at Ron, and gave him an encouraging smile. Ron nodded with a small thumbs up and a weak smile. Angelina began her pre-game pep talk.

"Alright guys, I'm not Wood, so I'll try to keep this short." She began. Most of the team laughed at that comment, for they could all remember Wood's old, three hour pep talks. Angelina gave them all a smile and continued. "It's the first game of the season and we're up against Slytherin," she said, disgust evident on her face. "So, no pressure. It's not going to be perfect, and I'm sure we all know that, but we're still going to give it our all. Remember our tactics and we should be alright. Just stand firm and don't back down. Don't show them weakness. Now let's do our thing." She finished. The whole Gryffindor team shouted and cheered. More than just a few were thinking that that's was a pep talk should be.

"Alright everyone, hands in the middle." Everyone stacked their hand one on top of the other. "Ok, on three. 1-2-3!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

After they were all lined up at the gate, waiting to be called our, Angelina said one last thing.

"Oh yeah, and they have new beaters. Crabbe and Goyle…or something like that."

"We know them" Harry said, indicating Ron and himself. Angelina nodded.

"Well, they don't look to bright either way. Looks like just another pair of walking boulders. All brawn." She said.

"Frankly, I'm just surprised they know what the font part of a broomstick is," Harry murmured, though still loud enough for the rest of the team to hear. This earned him another laugh, and he smiled. After the team settled down, they heard the magnified voice of the commentator, Lee Jordan. He was preparing to call out the Gryffindor team, which meant that they had missed him calling out the Slytherin team names….not that they were complaining. Harry gave Ron a small smile, then looked over at Angelina. She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Harry smiled again. Then, the crowed roared as Lee started calling the names.

"And now, coming out of the Gryffindor gate, we have this year's captain….ANGELINA JOHNSON!" Lee shouted, there were even louder cheers, though you could still hear the Slytherin boos. Lee continued. "Then we have the chasers that are like lightning on a broom….ALICIA SPINNET AND KATIE BELL! Next the beaters who are human bludgers themselves….FRED AND GEORGE WEASELY! Now, the keeper looking to live up to his family's quidditch reputation….RONALD WEASEY! And now, last but most certainly not least... Hogwarts' Seeker of the century, I give you….HARRY POTTER!" Lee's voice roared over the stands, and the players flew out as their names were called. The roar of the crowed was almost overwhelming when Harry flew out.

Each player took their positions on the field, Harry being directly across from Malfoy, who sent him a cocky smirk.

Madam Hooch walked on to the field and stood before the captains.

"Captains, shake hands." She shouted. Angelina and the Slytherin captain shook hands. From Harry's viewing point, it looked as if the Slytherin captain was trying to break Angelina's hand. She didn't't even flinch. Their hands separated, and Madam Hooch bent over the ball crate.

"Now…I want a nice clean game….from all of you." She said sternly. Harry's last thought before the balls were released was…

' With them? Heh…fat chance…'

He then raced off to find the snitch before Malfoy could get his greasy hands on it.

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Harry started the game by flying up above the rest of the players so he could look out for the snitch without having to worry about bludgers and other obstacles. 5 minutes into the game, he still didn't't see any sign of the little golden ball. He could see Malfoy about fifty feet below, looking around. Whether he was looking for the snitch of him, Harry didn't't know. He was momentarily distracted when he heard the crowd begin to roar.

"The quaffle has been dropped and is caught by Katie Bell! Bell passes to Johnson! Nice dodge there Angelina! Good thing she missed that, 'cause that would be aching in the morning. Johnson dodges another bludger and passes to Spinnet! Alicia's going in for a goal! Look at that speed. She's fast, got style, and looks good at it too…on the field of course. She's getting ready to shoot and…awww…..that's gotta hurt. The quaffle goes to Montague!"

Harry mentally cursed as he saw Alicia take a bludger to the shoulder. He watched Montague race towards the Gryffindor's goal hoops, and prayed Ron still still had his wits.

"Montague's almost to the goal now…he shoot and…Yes! Weasely has made the save! Spinnet is in possession of the quaffle."

Harry cheered with everyone else when Ron made the save. Checking below him, he saw Malfoy's head still moving from side to side, searching for the snitch. All of a sudden, Harry got a brilliant idea. Scrunching his face into a look of concentration, Harry made a sudden dive on his broom, being sure to go right past Malfoy's line of sight. The crowd roared and Malfoy took off behind Harry.

"It looks like Potter has spotted the snitch!" Lee shouted excitedly. Harry was neck and neck with Malfoy, looking extremely concentrated on the outside, but laughing with glee on the inside. He slowed down ever so slightly to give the impression of Malfoy gaining the lead. Malfoy turned his head and gave Harry a evil smile...one that Harry gladly returned. Harry put on a burst of speed and Malfoy did the same. In the stands, people could be heard screaming, "Oh my god, they're going to crash!"

"no he's not" Hermione mumbled to herself in the stands.

At the last second, Harry pulled up as hard as he could, narrowly avoiding hitting the ground. Unfortunately, Malfoy didn't't get up in time, and ended up crashing straight into the ground with a sickening thud.

"Ouch, that's gotta hurt!" Lee shouted. Harry smiled smugly to himself, knowing that they couldn't't even call a foul because Harry hadn't't even touched him.

"Looks like Malfoy will be out for a few minutes, giving Potter a few minutes to look for the snitch." Lee shouted to the crowd. Slytherins could be heard booing, but that was almost immediately drowned out by cheers from the Gryffindors. Harry soared back up into the fray, giving all three of the Weasely's thumbs up, while silently dedicating that little move to them. Two minutes into his searching, Harry heard the crowd roar again, and looked to see that Alicia had scored Gryffindor another ten points.

"Good shot Alicia. The scores stands at 70 to 30 with Gryffindor in the lead." Lee announced.

Suddenly, Harry caught sight of something hovering by Katie's head. As soon as Harry identified it as the snitch, he took off after it. The only problem was that Malfoy was back in action and heading towards it, too. The two seekers were neck and neck, the snitch took off, and Katie let out a small scream as two blurs came within a foot and a half of her head. The snitch then went up in a ninety degree angle, Harry and Malfoy still side by side for it. They were now running into each other's broom, trying to either knock them off balance, or get them away from the snitch.

Just as Harry stuck out his leg out to kick Malfoy to the side, the snitch dove downwards. Malfoy crashed into one of the pillars, and Harry went the other direction from the recoil. They had lost the snitch. Malfoy, after regaining his posture, glared at Harry, his eyes full of hatred. The two seekers then split up and went in different directions. Five minutes of useless searching still did not reveal the location of the snitch. Harry let out a frustrated growl. With his attention now on his sense of frustration, Harry did not notice Malfoy take off until Lee's commentary came in.

"And Malfoy has spotted the snitch!" Harry was snapped back to reality, and looked around frantically for malfoy. He cause sight of him near the Slytherin goal posts. Harry shot off, but at once knew it was probably pointless, Malfoy was too far ahead. He was so concentrated on the snitch, like he should be, that he didn't't notice what was taking place below him until, once again, Lee's commentary disrupted his attention.

"And Johnson has possession of the quaffle. She's nearing the goal…I think Gryffindor will score!...Wait! Ouch. That's gotta be painful…." Harry then heard a gasp from the crowd and took his attention from the snitch, which he would later learn was a fatal mistake, and looked down. He witnessed the first bludger come into contact with the right side of Angelina's head, then he saw the second bludger come from the left and hit her right in the middle of the chest (A/N: The force of the 1st bludger made her body turn to the left.). The force of the bludger knocked her of her broom, and she began falling. The crowed screamed, and Harry froze until he heard someone shout his name.

"Harry!" Fred shouted, his voice filled with panic. "Get her, quick!" Harry snapped out of it, and within 2 seconds of Angelina falling, he was after her. Nobody even noticed that Malfoy held the snitch in a death hold with a triumphant smile on his face.

Harry was racing after Angelina, heading straight down at a ninety degree angle. He was nearing her when he noticed that she was still conscious…barely. He reached out his hand, desperately trying to grab hers. He stretched out his arm, and his fingers brushed hers. As soon as his fingers felt hers, he swiped for her hand….and missed. The motion caused him broom to slow down some, making it so she was falling faster than he could dive.

Harry vaguely registered her mouth weakly forming his name. "Harry" She whispered quietly.

Harry's mind raced until he came up with an idea. Unfortunately, the idea would be very painful for him.

'dammit…' he thought. 'I have to…there's no other option….' Harry, still diving straight down, brought his feet up onto his broom, being sure to keep it pointing straight down and balanced. Taking a deep breath, he launched himself off, diving straight downwards. The crowed gasped and cried. He was straight as a board, his hands forced against his sides. When he got close enough to her, he reached out his right hand as far as it would go.

'I can't miss this. I can't let her get hurt because I couldn't't do anything' he thought.

His fingers once more brushed hers, but this time, he grabbed her hand and didn't't let go. He brought her to him. Over over her shoulder, he saw the ground coming neared and nearer. With a swift and sudden motion, Harry got himself under Angelina in order to cushion the fall for her. He held her against him and braced himself for the pain that he knew was about to come.The crowed screamed, and all went black. (A/N: FYI: this all took place in an apprx: 20 sec. time period.)

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He was reliving it, but this time…it was wrong….very wrong. He saw her fall, and he heard the shout to go after her. He dove. His hand reached out for hers, their fingers brush…and…he missed. This time, he didn't't jump…there was no time. He screamed as she hit the ground with a sickening thud.

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Harry slowly came to consciousness, and prayed that his dream was not reality. He heard talking around him, and he cleared the cobwebs from inside his head.

"That was some fall."

"Yeah, he's lucky he's still alive."

"Point, but if he didn't't do that, then think of what would have happened…."

"Shut up you guys, he's waking up."

Harry slowly opened his eyes and saw the outlines of several people standing above him. Suddenly, all that had happened came back to him and he shot up in the bed. Or, at least he tried to. Fred and George had their hands om his shoulders, pushing him back down. Harry turned his head as far as he could to his left, and saw Angelina laying in the next bed over. She was still unconscious.

"How is she?" Harry asked softly, still looking at her still form.

"She should be fine. She's just still unconscious." Hermione said.

"Yeah…actually, to be truthful…you got it worse than she did." Said Ron. Fred and George nodded.

"So…she'll be ok?" Asked Harry, his voice full of worry.

"Yes, she just needs to rest." Alicia said. Harry sighed in relief, then looked up to the ceiling.

"I should have been quicker…" He murmured, but Hermione still heard him.

"No….don't even think that Harry. It wasn't't your fault and there was nothing more you could have done." Hermione said sternly. Harry looked at her.

"Yeah, besides…at least you got her. If you hadn't't, she probably would have….." Katie trailed off, then turned to Harry with a grateful smile on her face. Harry sighed again.

"At least tell me what happened after I jumped. How did the game end? I know I didn't't catch the snitch…." Harry trailed off, and everyone went quiet.

"Harry, none of us blame you, ok?" Alicia told him softly, giving Harry a sympathetic look. Harry starred at her.

"You mean we…" Harry trailed off. Hermione nodded.

"By ten points." She said. They all looked at him sadly. He squeezed his eyes shut, and tensed his body.

"I'm sorry" he whispered, a single tear running down his cheeck. Ron shook his head.

"Don't say that. I'd rather we lose than the alternative." He said, motioning to Angelina. Harry looked at them all, and each of them gave him a nod, saying it was true. Harry gave a small smile to them, and to himself.

Hermione looked him over, then signaled to the others.

"We're going to go now. You be sure to get rest, ok?" Harry nodded. Then, he thought of something he wanted to ask.

"Wait! Hermione!" He tried to shout. She turned to him.

"How long has it been?" Harry asked. Hermione hesitated before answering.

"Three days." She said, then they left. As soon as they were out of the room, Harry gave Angelina one last look before he passed out again.

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A/N: ok, so I got the quidditch scene in this chapter after all. Sorry if you don't like it, I suck at action sequences. Anyways, I couldn't't find my book for the names, so let me know if I mis-spelled anything. Also, I know…it's extremely cheesy, so don't point that out please. One last thing. I'm going to b in Florida until the 24the or so, so it will be at least a week before I can get another chapter out, so no promisess. I'll do my best though. buh-bye.