The following morning arrived gray and sullen, I felt closed in both by the
solid covering of low clouds and by the foreboding feeling pressing against
my heart. Breakfast was a tense affair and none of us spoke of the events
of the previous evening, but the presence of the James' brothers and the
horses all packed and waiting right outside the window confirmed my fear
that they were going through with their plan to leave. I was finishing up
the breakfast dishes when the first words of the day were spoken.
"So where do you figure we should start at?" came the voice of Bob. I didn't dare turn around or give any sign that I was listening, but I tried to slow down my scrubbing to ensure that I didn't miss a single word.
"Well with the news Cole got from his friend at the bank I think our best bet is to start in Fidelity," came the voice of Jesse. He and I had avoided contact all morning and it was killing me. I longed to rush over to him, but whether I would punch him or kiss him when I go there was still a mystery to me. But for all my desire to figure things out with him, one way or another, my pride would not allow me to make the first move.
"Let's head out." Cole said as he pushed his chair back from the table. I could feel his eyes come to rest on the back of my head.
"So, um...."
"Jaime, you ready to go?" Jim jumped in, trying to avoid an eruption of the tension in the room. Without looking around I nodded stiffly and left to gather my things. I could here the excited whinny of a few of the horses as the group began to mount their steeds. In haste I shoved the few things I was ready to take the night before into a rucksack then I left by the back door as swiftly as I could, I didn't want to look around because I couldn't bare to start missing my home right now. Because I wasn't supposed to miss it, I was supposed to be the good sister and stay here in Liberty, under the supervision of the doctor, and continue to look after our place. But I had decided that this was my last time to walk down our porch steps, along with them. I was leaving, whether they would accept me or not. I could last longer in the danger and challenges of the world outside the law than I ever could sitting around, helpless, just waiting for bad news.
Outside I loaded my pack onto Jett and lifted myself into the saddle. Jett pawed the ground, excited by the commotion around him. I kept him reigned in though, I would ride behind the boys, playing the role of the obedient sister to the utmost. The ride to Doc Mimms was much like breakfast, a silent awkward affair. I quietly said goodbye to all the things familiar to me as we rode by them, keeping far enough back so the others could not see what I was doing, yet close enough to keep down Cole's suspicions of my meekness.
We reached Doc Mimms house all too soon, I was disappointed to see the Zee had decided to come and see off the boys as well as her father. I slid off of Jett, and stood resolutely by his side, unwilling to proceed into their house. Cole was conversing with the doctor and the rest came over to say their farewells to me. All except Jesse, Zee had gone to him and pulled him aside to talk. My stomach gave a now familiar lurch and I turned away not wanting that image of them to be the last one I had of him. Bob came up at that moment, pulling my mind away from Jesse. With a weak smile he reached out and pulled me into a hug.
"Well I guess we have to say goodbye again lil Jaim." He said with a sigh. I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering the last time my brothers had left me. He was the only one who had discovered how badly I did not want to be left behind again and I could here the pity in his voice. I held him close for a few minutes more then gave him a fake smile to reassure him that I would be ok. Frank came up to me next and with an optimistic chuck under the chin he said goodbye and headed off again quickly. I got the feeling he wanted to get it over with so I could be with my family. He gathered up Indian Tom, and the few townsfolk who had joined them and began to talk with them, in order to distract them from us. And there was Jim, with a sudden tightening in my chest I realized that he and I had never been apart. He opened his mouth to say something but he seemed to be as choked up as me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tight.
"Goodbye," he finally managed to squeeze out. I pulled back from him and brushed off the few tears that had started to slide down his cheek.
"I'll see you soon." I said back, his eyes caught mine in a surprised glance and I quickly broke my gaze with him and muttered,
"I hope." He held my hand and gave it a quick squeeze.
"Be good," he whispered at me then strode off towards his horse. Finally Cole came over; the tension between us so strong you could hang from it.
"Now, you just stay here and be good, and we'll come home to you safe and sound real soon, you hear?" He said in a husky voice.
"I'll do what I have to for my family." I said through a clenched jaw and stepped away from him. His eyes widen for moment in surprise at my hostility but then seemed to settle into and understanding sadness.
"Jaime I'm sorry but it has to be this way..."
"No, it has to be this way for you."
"And last time I checked I was head of this family and so what I say goes!" Both our voices were thick with the venom of our emotions. It would have probably continued to more passionate levels if Jesse had not come up to interrupt us right at that time. "Cole, we gotta get goin." "Yeah, on my way." Cole said never taking his eyes off of me. I dropped my gaze and started to fidget with the saddle bag on Jett so I could keep my attention away from Jesse.
"We'll be back to you soon, I promise." Cole said to me in a half whisper and then stalked off. I continued to toy with the saddle, terrified that Jesse was still behind me.
"Like he said we'll come home when we've fixed all of this." Jesse said in a similar gruff tone to Cole's. I had no clue how to respond to this so I ripped my saddle bag off of Jett, and made a beeline for Doc Mimms. I only turned around when I heard the rumble of hooves shooting down the dirt road. I then turned to watch them disappear, with silent tears finally being allowed to roll down my cheeks.
"Come on my dear," the Doc said to me sweetly, putting his arm around my shoulder's. "Let's get you settled here, they be back before you know it."
At this moment I set my plan into action. "Oh! Sir!" I said suddenly jerking back from him. "The cows and chickens! I forgot all about them during this morning's excitement I have to go home and take care of them, please excuse me."
"Well of course Jaime, want me to come along and help?"
"Oh no sir, I've done it on my own plenty of times, thank you just the same." And with that I jumped back onto Jett, reattached my saddle bag and took of in the direction of my house. Once out of sight I turned Jett into our familiar prairie and launched Jett across it, headed right for Fidelity.
"So where do you figure we should start at?" came the voice of Bob. I didn't dare turn around or give any sign that I was listening, but I tried to slow down my scrubbing to ensure that I didn't miss a single word.
"Well with the news Cole got from his friend at the bank I think our best bet is to start in Fidelity," came the voice of Jesse. He and I had avoided contact all morning and it was killing me. I longed to rush over to him, but whether I would punch him or kiss him when I go there was still a mystery to me. But for all my desire to figure things out with him, one way or another, my pride would not allow me to make the first move.
"Let's head out." Cole said as he pushed his chair back from the table. I could feel his eyes come to rest on the back of my head.
"So, um...."
"Jaime, you ready to go?" Jim jumped in, trying to avoid an eruption of the tension in the room. Without looking around I nodded stiffly and left to gather my things. I could here the excited whinny of a few of the horses as the group began to mount their steeds. In haste I shoved the few things I was ready to take the night before into a rucksack then I left by the back door as swiftly as I could, I didn't want to look around because I couldn't bare to start missing my home right now. Because I wasn't supposed to miss it, I was supposed to be the good sister and stay here in Liberty, under the supervision of the doctor, and continue to look after our place. But I had decided that this was my last time to walk down our porch steps, along with them. I was leaving, whether they would accept me or not. I could last longer in the danger and challenges of the world outside the law than I ever could sitting around, helpless, just waiting for bad news.
Outside I loaded my pack onto Jett and lifted myself into the saddle. Jett pawed the ground, excited by the commotion around him. I kept him reigned in though, I would ride behind the boys, playing the role of the obedient sister to the utmost. The ride to Doc Mimms was much like breakfast, a silent awkward affair. I quietly said goodbye to all the things familiar to me as we rode by them, keeping far enough back so the others could not see what I was doing, yet close enough to keep down Cole's suspicions of my meekness.
We reached Doc Mimms house all too soon, I was disappointed to see the Zee had decided to come and see off the boys as well as her father. I slid off of Jett, and stood resolutely by his side, unwilling to proceed into their house. Cole was conversing with the doctor and the rest came over to say their farewells to me. All except Jesse, Zee had gone to him and pulled him aside to talk. My stomach gave a now familiar lurch and I turned away not wanting that image of them to be the last one I had of him. Bob came up at that moment, pulling my mind away from Jesse. With a weak smile he reached out and pulled me into a hug.
"Well I guess we have to say goodbye again lil Jaim." He said with a sigh. I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering the last time my brothers had left me. He was the only one who had discovered how badly I did not want to be left behind again and I could here the pity in his voice. I held him close for a few minutes more then gave him a fake smile to reassure him that I would be ok. Frank came up to me next and with an optimistic chuck under the chin he said goodbye and headed off again quickly. I got the feeling he wanted to get it over with so I could be with my family. He gathered up Indian Tom, and the few townsfolk who had joined them and began to talk with them, in order to distract them from us. And there was Jim, with a sudden tightening in my chest I realized that he and I had never been apart. He opened his mouth to say something but he seemed to be as choked up as me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tight.
"Goodbye," he finally managed to squeeze out. I pulled back from him and brushed off the few tears that had started to slide down his cheek.
"I'll see you soon." I said back, his eyes caught mine in a surprised glance and I quickly broke my gaze with him and muttered,
"I hope." He held my hand and gave it a quick squeeze.
"Be good," he whispered at me then strode off towards his horse. Finally Cole came over; the tension between us so strong you could hang from it.
"Now, you just stay here and be good, and we'll come home to you safe and sound real soon, you hear?" He said in a husky voice.
"I'll do what I have to for my family." I said through a clenched jaw and stepped away from him. His eyes widen for moment in surprise at my hostility but then seemed to settle into and understanding sadness.
"Jaime I'm sorry but it has to be this way..."
"No, it has to be this way for you."
"And last time I checked I was head of this family and so what I say goes!" Both our voices were thick with the venom of our emotions. It would have probably continued to more passionate levels if Jesse had not come up to interrupt us right at that time. "Cole, we gotta get goin." "Yeah, on my way." Cole said never taking his eyes off of me. I dropped my gaze and started to fidget with the saddle bag on Jett so I could keep my attention away from Jesse.
"We'll be back to you soon, I promise." Cole said to me in a half whisper and then stalked off. I continued to toy with the saddle, terrified that Jesse was still behind me.
"Like he said we'll come home when we've fixed all of this." Jesse said in a similar gruff tone to Cole's. I had no clue how to respond to this so I ripped my saddle bag off of Jett, and made a beeline for Doc Mimms. I only turned around when I heard the rumble of hooves shooting down the dirt road. I then turned to watch them disappear, with silent tears finally being allowed to roll down my cheeks.
"Come on my dear," the Doc said to me sweetly, putting his arm around my shoulder's. "Let's get you settled here, they be back before you know it."
At this moment I set my plan into action. "Oh! Sir!" I said suddenly jerking back from him. "The cows and chickens! I forgot all about them during this morning's excitement I have to go home and take care of them, please excuse me."
"Well of course Jaime, want me to come along and help?"
"Oh no sir, I've done it on my own plenty of times, thank you just the same." And with that I jumped back onto Jett, reattached my saddle bag and took of in the direction of my house. Once out of sight I turned Jett into our familiar prairie and launched Jett across it, headed right for Fidelity.