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Chapter 7

Jaina woke early the next mourning to a beautiful sunrise pouring through the massive windows in her luxurious bedroom. She sat up in her bed and pulled aside the silk sheets, wandering into the bathroom.

The bathroom alone was larger than most of the rooms she had stayed in during her stays on military bases. The tub was fit for a queen and Jaina decided to take a long bubble bath to try and distract her from the conflicting emotions that she had been feeling most of the night before.

After spending at least an hour in the tub, Jaina got out and wandered over towards the closet containing her hand selected wardrobe which included everything from tailored flight suits to beautiful evening gowns that probably cost more than all of the clothes that Jaina owned combined. Running her hands through the clothes, she stopped when she saw a pair of dark brown dress pants and a soft sage green sweater, both made from obviously expensive fabrics.

Once Jaina was dressed and presentable, she walked outside of the palace. There were crowds of people everywhere, none of whom looked familiar. Not completely sure where she was going, Jaina began to walk with no particular destination. She eventually found herself at the docking bay where the strike team had landed the mourning before. Tears began to fill her eyes as she thought of her brothers, both gone without having ever said goodbye. Her life would never be the same without them. She suddenly heard someone calling her name from behind.

"Jaina Solo"

She turned towards the person calling out her name, "Jagged Fel. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing well. How about you? I heard about your brothers; I'm really sorry."

"Thanks. I'm doing…fine all things considered. I don't think everything has completely hit me yet. When it does… I'm not sure how I'll be."

They stood in silence for a moment. Finally Jag spoke, "I talked to Kyp. He suggested that I attend the state dinner at the palace tonight. He said you might be attending it."

"You talked to Kyp about me?" she questioned, mildly irritated.

"Yes, I'm sorry, but he brought you up. I realize that you two aren't getting along real well right now but I'm not trying to get into the middle of it."

"That's good for your sake. Anyways, yes I'm going tonight. Maybe I'll see you there."

"Maybe."

As Jaina turned to walk away a small smile crossed her face. Jag Fel was hoping to see her tonight. What did that mean? Back when they first met a couple of years ago Jaina had developed a small crush on the young man, but then they hadn't seen each other in almost two years. Still, Jaina's mood had drastically changed and now she was looking forward to tonight's fancy dinner.

By the time Jaina made it back to the palace, she was in a frantic rush to begin getting ready for that nights big event. She quickly made her way to her room and went to the closet to chose a dress that would be appropriate for the dinner. Although there were several lovely evening gowns to choose from, one in particular really stood out to Jaina.

She reached into the closet and pulled out a gorgeous wine red colored gown with a lace up corset back and plunging neckline. She slipped on the dress and admired herself in the mirror. The strapless gown hugged her in all of the right places and the color really brought out the creaminess of her skin.

As she stared in the mirror she thought to herself, Maybe dresses aren't so bad. Only a few years ago Jaina would have never been caught dead in that type of ensemble, but now she thought it looked kind of nice. But what to do with her hair?

After a while of experimenting, Jaina finally had completed her look by curling her hair and adding a little bit of make up. Finally ready to go, she walked out of her room and headed towards the banquet hall where she would be seeing Jag Fel again.

The night had been going great. Up until the moment Ta'a Chume interrupted Jaina and Jag's wanderings through the halls of the palace. And then Kyp came by to inform Jaina that he was to bring her to her brother's funeral. That put a definite damper on the nights fun. It wasn't that Jaina didn't want to go to her brother's funeral, she was just still having a hard time admitting that he was really gone. Reluctantly, though, she left to go with Kyp.

When they arrived at the location where the funeral was being held, Jaina noticed all of her friends and family standing around. Many were crying, but in the middle of the group stood her uncle, strong as ever. Jaina walked over towards where the other young jedi from the strike team were standing and quietly watched the proceedings.

She was at Anakin's funeral. Despite the fact that she was standing there looking at the body on top of the funeral pyre, Tahiri Veila still could not believe the her beloved Anakin could be dead. This all had to be one bad dream that she would eventually wake up from.

But it wasn't and Tahiri knew it wasn't. She stood in between Mara Skywalker and Alema Rar, for once the two of them not fighting, and knew that this was real.

She slipped her small hand into her pocket and ran her finger over a knife that she had taken from the refuge mess hall. She felt the cut and the blood and was satisfied. Pain is good she thought to herself. If she was in pain she knew she was alive and was feeling something. Earlier that mourning she had taken the knife and ran it over her wrist, almost hoping that she would slit a vital blood vessel, but she wasn't that lucky. She would have to live another day in this world of pain and anguish, all alone.

As the evening wore on it became rather warm. At almost the same time both Mara Jade Skywalker and Tahiri Veila removed their outer ropes, leaving their arms bare. As Mara glanced over at the young blond, she noticed a large burn bark on her upper arm that had not been there the day before when the strike team had arrived on Hapes. Tahiri, what are you doing to yourself Mara silently asked. She knew the warning signs and she knew that if someone did not step in soon that Tahiri could end up killing herself. But what could she do for the poor girl? She knew that if she said anything outright to her it would just make things worse.

Later that night after the funeral was over, Luke and Mara climbed into a speeder together to head back to the refugee camp where they were staying with the other jedi, minus Jaina and Tenel Ka. Mara decided to tell Luke about Tahiri.

"Luke, I think Tahiri's hurting herself."

"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I think she might be making suicide attempts."

"Well, it almost makes sense. She's a fifteen year old girl who, now that Anakin is dead, is all alone in the world, or at least that's how she sees it. She doesn't have anything to live for anymore."

"I know. Luke we have to help her. Maybe we should ask her to come stay with us."

"You mean like adopt her?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, she can't just be left all on her own, she's only fifteen years old. Besides we became responsible for her the day she came to the academy. She feels all alone and I think that is what is driving her to hurt herself."

"You're right Mara. She is a child and it is my responsibility to take care of her, not like I took care of Anakin."

"Luke, Anakin's death wasn't your fault. He died for what he believed in. He is a hero."

"I know, but it's still hard to accept."

"We'll get through this. And so will Tahiri. Together."