Ave Maria
It's not like you killed someone
It's not like you drove a hateful spear into his side
Praise the one who left you
Broken down and paralyzed
He did it all for you
"You sure you don't want me to carry your bag?"
"Yes. For the thousandth time, I think I can carry my own bag. It's not that heavy."
Kaiba rolled his eyes at the fight that was being displayed behind him as he led his merry band of travelers up the stairs to their hotel room. The elevator had broken and the carts that held the luggage couldn't be dragged up the stairs so everyone was stuck carrying their own suitcases.
"But…."
"Jonouchi, you are barely able to drag your and Shizuka's suitcases. You don't need mine," Mai scolded and Kaiba heard the harsh stomping of heels as Mai bounded up a few more stairs, getting her pace even with his. " Sorry. He's annoying me. You can continue to brood."
He watched her snatch the key out of his hand before he could protest and rocket up the stairs. She was surprisingly agile despite having a huge duffel bag, which she could most likely fit her body in, and thin heels that looked like they were going to crack at any second. She was a floor above them and a door slammed, announcing that she had reached the seventh floor which was where their room was located.
"She's not someone to take up chivalric action," Kaiba stuck his head over the railing to tell the blonde who was a flight of stairs behind him.
Jonouchi looked up and flashed him the middle finger. Kaiba shrugged and continued walking up the stairs, carrying his and Mokuba's bags. He threw open the door to their floor and walked to the only door on their side of the hall. The door was propped open since Mai had stolen the key and he walked in, throwing his bags against the wall.
He had chosen the biggest room he could find in the local hotels that bordered Ann's Harbor, New Jersey. Despite its proximity to New York City, which was only a ferry away, the town was rather quaint and the selection was minimal. He had gotten a suite with three bedrooms, a bathroom, living area, and a private pool. Seeing that he had four other people who were going to be living with him for an undisclosed amount of time, he wanted plenty of space so he didn't try to kill them immediately for being too loud.
The key was set on the nightstand of the living area, a bunch of overstuffed floral couches that overlooked the glorious view of the metallic-colored ocean and the distant spikes of skyscrapers. A bouquet of flowers adorned the table and Kaiba ran his finger down the grimy brown center of a sunflower Fake and gritty, and Kaiba cursed the people for being so cheap as to not provide him real flowers.
Stomping rung out and Kaiba supposed that Jonouchi was nearing the top of the stairs with Shizuka and Mokuba. He wandered to the back of the living area where the doors leading to the bedrooms were and he went into the one that was open. Mai was kneeling by the drawers, folding her clothes and placing them by color and style. All her belongings were already scattered around the room atop her fake wooden-framed bed and the light blue carpet. The covers were messed up like she had already slept in the bed and Kaiba grimaced.
"I never knew you were that messy."
"I think best when things are in disorder," she responded, looking up at him. She was balancing on her heels, nearly sitting on them, and she leaned back, snatching the leg of her jeans and dragged them to the floor.
"It seems too peaceful here," he commented, moving some of her clothes closer to her so he could take a seat. " Everyone just moves around, going about their days, smiling to the neighbors."
"Don't forget the water. All the souvenir shops immortalize it on everything from decals for the car to flags that I have seen flying with the American flag flying at the same level," she added, folding a t-shirt.
"That too. It's just, I thought it would be…."
"Dark? Dreary? A horrible place that the devil resides within? The people here are not us. They don't have to live with what happened here everyday of their lives," Mai shut the drawer and took a seat next to him on the bed.
"They do have to live with it. I can't understand why they can still smile. The life of their town was destroyed. All the kids are dead. That has to affect something!"
"Not all. Anyhow it still affects it and I am sure you'll find out what the effect is, Kaiba-san," she whispered and Kaiba felt some hope from her words. He wasn't sure what it was that made him feel at peace. Maybe he was just scared he took time off from work, putting the company in the hands of his board members, whom he still did not trust, to find there were no answers. He was going to say something when he heard knocking on the door and he looked up.
"Hi. What're you doing in there?" Jonouchi said, poking his head in.
"I was just leaving," Kaiba announced, getting up off the bed. He followed Jonouchi out of the room and he shut Mai's door. Turning his glare to Jonouchi, he hissed. " Why did you interrupt me? I was trying to get information out of her."
"Is that what you were doing, Kaiba?" Jonouchi retorted and walked away from him. Kaiba looked at him confused and dashed after the blonde.
"What is that supposed to mean, mutt?"
Jonouchi spun around, partially out of habit for the fight that would inevitably occur when the name mutt was uttered in his presence. " I think you know what it means, Kaiba."
"I don't. Please enlighten me."
Jonouchi stared him down, considering whatever to tell the billionaire the truth. He decided against it and turned his back, walking away from Kaiba.
Kaiba grumbled and grabbed his bags from where he threw them. He dragged them to one of the rooms and tossed them onto the bed. " This is mine and Mokuba's room."
"I wanted that room!" Jonouchi yelled out.
Kaiba only gave him an evil grin in response as he deliberately went into his new room and unpacked his clothes.
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Jonouchi was seriously wishing that he taken English class a little bit more seriously when he was in school. Maybe then, he would have a clue to what everyone around him was saying. Instead it just sounded like a splat of language coming from all directions, trying to hit him, and he had no way to avoid it.
He had felt that way when he was at the hospital but at least there, he had to be isolated and didn't mind it as much not being able to communicate with people. Now, he was in the middle of a beach town with fascinating things to do and people to see and he had no clue where to go or what to do.
All he knew that he was bored. After Kaiba had stolen the room he wanted, the room that was closest to the pool and kitchen, he had unpacked Shizuka's bags for her while she stared out at the view, and he left his suitcase in the corner for him to live out.
He didn't know Shizuka found so great about the view. The water looked poisonous because of its murkiness and the sand on the beaches was a dark color, soaking wet and appeared almost cement-like, with no fluff that normal grainy sand had. Skyscrapers hung in the backdrop and it just reminded Jonouchi of how much he hated humans. They were polluting the sky with metal, obstructing the view of clouds and sun.
Maybe his opinion on water and what made a spectacular sight was biased. Duelist Kingdom was the first time he had ever really seen the ocean despite living near a seaport. The water had been crystal clear and blue, screaming of vitality and beauty, and when Jonouchi had overlooked the water, all he could see for miles was more and more water. It made everything else seem so empty and small. He liked that feeling. Beautiful things were meant to put life in perspective, giving the impression that some things were more important then you. He remembered thinking when he had looked at the ocean the first time that Shizuka could never see what he saw and it spurred him to duel harder.
Claustrophobia was beginning to set in and he needed to get out of the hotel room. He couldn't sit still for as long as he was. He knew if he wanted to wander the town and do anything productive, he needed to find someone who knew English to be with him. A plan composed in his head and he ran through the minor glitches. Kaiba was out, doing some business in the car he had rented at the airport, as was Mokuba who was sitting in his room, using a laptop to surf the Internet. Shizuka was too enthralled with the view to notice him gone so he wouldn't have to take her and he didn't think Mai was up to anything special.
His plan was to go out with Mai, just to spend some time with her, under the excuse he needed someone who could speak English to go with him. He could see Kaiba was starting to realize what Jonouchi had already knew: Mai was beautiful, and Jonouchi would not stand a chance if Kaiba decided as well that he wanted to date her. Kaiba had money and class, all things Jonouchi didn't have. The only thing Jonouchi had that Kaiba lacked was normality.
He put on a clean t-shirt and jeans before he knocked on her door. He heard a muffled "come in" and he opened the door to find Mai holding a container of scotch tape in her teeth and was winding the strip she had around the heel and sole of one of her shoes. It must have finally broken and he watched her in amusement as she tried to get more tape without letting go of the shoe.
"Do you need help?"
She didn't nod but she really couldn't. He felt nervous and he gently pulled the scotch tape dispenser from the grip her mouth had on it. In her eyes, he saw a question, one he wasn't willing to answer to why he decided to do that instead of holding the shoe, and he pulled off a piece of tape, ignoring the saliva that was all over the dispenser, and placed it on her pinky, her only free finger that wasn't holding the shoe together.
She stuck it to the heel and pushed against it with her finger. The heel didn't budge and she deemed it satisfactory in staying to the sole of the shoe. She set it on the ground and slid her foot in it, placing all her weight onto it. The shoe promptly broke and she swore, tossing the shoes into her bag.
"Do you want to go shopping with me? I need a new pair of heels," she grabbed her pocketbook from the bed and slipped on some sandals.
He nodded, happy he didn't have to do any work. The elevators were running and it was an easy trip down to the lobby. Walking out the front door was an experience. He hadn't realized how hot it had gotten and the sunlight that wasn't obvious from the room was bright and equally suffocating along with the humidity that seemed to float in the air.
"Main Street has some shops. We'll go there first and work our way up to the classier shops."
He didn't argue. He just wanted to appease her. It wasn't like he had any money to spend. Which then occurred to him could be a problem. He considered asking her to stop and allowing him to run up to the hotel room to steal one of Kaiba's credit cards but he wasn't sure where they were and if Kaiba found out…he didn't want to think about what would happen.
Having not grown up with Shizuka or his mother and having not been horribly close to Anzu, he had not had the experience of shopping with a woman before. Sure, he had heard the horror stories from Yugi who always went along to be Anzu's bag carrier and from Honda who went with his own sister several times. But he never realized the physical exhaustion and inadequacy that came from it.
Mai would go into a store, pause in the doorway and just leave. After the first time Jonouchi asked why she did it, he stopped asking because he had a feeling he would be getting more dumb answers such as "the place smelled." The stores that Mai did spend time in were clothing shops where she would walk between the aisles and lightly place her hand on the garment, feeling it and looking it over for the price tag. Jonouchi had seen some of the prices and his first indication at seeing $174 dollar jeans with nothing special about them was to run and get far away.
Mai didn't buy anything at the stores and instead ended up buying a pair of wedges from a stand on the beach. They had cost her $10 and Jonouchi couldn't help but notice that her wallet was empty the minute she bought them. He didn't understand why they had wasted so much time in the fancy designer shops if she couldn't afford anything. When he asked her that, she laughed at him.
"I can dream about spending that much money and not noticing that it is gone," she smiled at him and as the sight of a wave coming in; she sprinted off the boardwalk and onto the beach. He watched her from above as she ran towards the ocean, allowing the waves to crash at her feet. The spray flung itself around her and the air flew her curly locks in every direction, tangling against her face. She was laughing and her loose black pants were sticking to her skin as she ventured out, leaving imprints in the newly wet sand.
"That was fun," she yelled and Jonouchi smiled, taking the normal way off the boardwalk, which was the stairs. She looked messed-up with her hair not perfect and her clothing matted and soaking wet, but it was beautiful. He remembered how he had thought how beautiful she looked on the cover of Time, covered in blood and grime. It made him realize he liked her better when she was being real and not putting on the Barbie Doll persona.
"I'm jealous of you and Kaiba," she told him as she took a seat next to him on the park bench, rolling up the end of her pants that were saturated with sand. " You both get to live near the ocean."
"I never saw the ocean before I met Yugi,."
"Seriously?" she turned to him and he blushed. " That sort of makes sense. Do you live on the other side of town?"
He nodded, praying she wouldn't ask where he lived on the other side of town. Although she wasn't from Domino City, she knew oddly most of the landscape. He didn't want to tell her that he lived in the slums.
"And I assume Kaiba was too busy working to even notice that there was an ocean except for the fact it separates one continent from another?"
"Kaiba never sees things for what they are." Jonouchi didn't want the conversation to be about Kaiba anymore and so he switched the subject. " Do you live near the ocean?"
"When I was really little I did, " she said. She was looking at the ocean with a glassy stare, like her mind was transported to the other side of the ocean where New York City was. "We lived on this cliff that overlooked the ocean. I used to, every night, sit by the bay window and pray…"
"I didn't know you were religious," Jonouchi interrupted.
"I'm not. I stopped believing in God a long time ago. Anyhow, the moon would shine upon the ocean and it would light it up like a pathway. It would look as solid as concrete on a sidewalk and I used to think it was a pathway to God, which technically it was because if I tried to walk upon it, I'd be dead. It was probably the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life and it's sad because I don't have any pictures of it."
"I'll get you a picture of it," Jonouchi mumbled without thinking.
"Eh?" She looked at it confused and Jonouchi realized what he had just said.
"I'll get a camera and take a picture of it for you.," he repeated.
"You don't have to."
"Nah. Want to. Besides it's the least I can do for you," He expected her to protest but she looked pleased that he was willing to do something for her. She was smiling warmly at him and he felt his stomach drop.
"Do you want to get something to eat?" he asked.
She nodded, giving him her hand so he could pull her up. "There's a place nearby that is cheap enough for us poor people," she told him as they scampered up the bank and onto the boardwalk.
He was hoping it was actually cheap. He had only twenty bucks on him and he didn't want to look like a fool, asking for money from her if the tab went over. He really should have not suggested it. He was stuck picking up the bill, if he remembered right from a rant Shizuka had made about Honda after a particularly peculiar night, since he was the one who invited her. He was going into panic mood and his heart felt like it was trying to skydive out of his chest. The bright lights of the bar they were walking into made him dizzy and feel ill, and suddenly Mai grabbed his hand. He felt better instantly.
All the tables were occupied by biker gang people, dressed in tight black leather that did not suit the immaculate size of their guts, chugging down beer and alcoholic beverages despite it not being anywhere near time for dinner or social hour. Mai led him to the bar where a few stools were free at the end, and ordered for both of them. He trusted her choice in food and instead took in the surroundings.
The room was dark and smoky with sudden glimpses of neon lights poking through the haze. The people sitting around them were all staring at Mai, the whites of their eyes shining like rabid animals. Jonouchi scooted a tad closer to Mai to protect her and she smiled at the bartender as he brought them their fries and cokes.
"Ignore them. They're not used to seeing girls," she told him as she took a sip of her soda.
He didn't know how she could say that. The eyes on them made the hairs at the back of his neck lift up and he dipped a fry in ketchup, stuffing it into his mouth and chewing, hoping it would calm him. The grease and the salt did just that.
Jonouchi knew he should make conversation but he couldn't find a suitable topic. He knew she had a past and she didn't like talking about it. Those sorts of questions were the only things he could think to talk about. It wasn't like they shared friends or any interests outside of dueling, which again was a taboo topic because it came back around to how they met.
"So you're the girl who…."Jonouchi looked behind him at the person the smooth voice was coming from.
Mai interrupted the guy. " I'm that girl. What do you want?"
"I thought you would look a little less…weak…" his voice was a purr and Jonouchi could smell the alcohol on his breath. "You…" he reached out his hand, fingertips lightly grazing Mai's bare shoulder. Jonouchi wasn't sure what came over him or what either of them was saying but before he realized it, he had grabbed the guy's wrist and yanked his hand away.
"Stay away from her," he growled.
The drunken guy was shorter by a few inches then him as well as Mai and the two males stared each other down, both understanding despite the language barrier that a fight was brewing. Mai stepped in before it could start.
"It's okay. Thank you," she whispered into his ear and Jonouchi backed down, taking his seat. She then turned to the drunk. "Leave me alone. I don't like you or want you."
The drunk didn't seem to comprehend her words but eventually gave up and returned to nursing his beer. Mai exhaled and returned to sitting on the stool.
"This happens every time I go to bars. They…" Mai paused. " You ate all the fries!"
Jonouchi didn't realize he had. Eating was a nervous habit and he probably started stuffing his mouth. There was one left, soaked in ketchup and soggy, and he gave a sheepish look, feeling incredibly guilty, and pushed the plate over to her. "Sorry bout' that."
"It's alright. I didn't like them much anyone. You can have the last one."
Jonouchi took her up on the offer and ate the last fry, slathered in salt. It made him thirsty and he had run out of his soda and Mai's was finished. There was a drink next to her soda and he pulled it to him, taking a sip. It wasn't the best tasting thing in the world but it quenched his thirst a bit.
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The door slammed shut and Kaiba looked up from the couch, setting his laptop on the table. Mai had kicked the door shut, both hands tied up with supporting Jonouchi who was leaning on her, looking a tad woozy and injured from the red blotches along his cheek and around his eyes which would soon be forming bruises.
Kaiba stood up and helped her get Jonouchi to his room. No one was in there and they got him set in bed before returning to the living room. Mai collapsed on the couch, leaning her head back, sighing.
"Bad night?" Kaiba asked.
"Some guys sent me free drinks and Jonouchi was nervous so he was eating and drinking whatever was in front of him. He didn't drink much but it was enough to get him confrontational and when another guy hit on me, they got in a fistfight. It was kind of flattering to watch someone take a black eye for you," she smiled. "Anyway, as soon as the fight broke up, I got him out of there. "
"Stupid Mutt," he mumbled and Mai chuckled, slipping off her shoes so she could then sit on her feet.
"It really wasn't his fault. I didn't tell him they were there and he just assumed."
"Why didn't you tell him?"
" I don't like to draw attention to the fact I don't drink."
Kaiba wasn't surprised by her answer. She looked like she could be a party girl but her personality was so controlled and upright that having her relaxed would be a frightening sight to watch. He remembered the only time he had gotten drunk. It was at his first Kaiba Corp. party as the CEO and he had been so nervous. In an attempt to socialize, he drank whatever his guests were having, champagne, and it was only luck that no one found out that the 13-year CEO was not entertaining future business partners in the lounge but was puking in the handicapped stall of the bathroom.
"Is it about staying in control?" Kaiba asked.
"Yeah. I don't have anyone to fall back on if I mess up. Not being in control could have resulted in me dying or being raped, or maybe simply losing my job. I never have had normal work hours so I couldn't metabolize the alcohol before I went to work."
He noticed that despite how closed she was about herself, she did drop a lot of hints. Her words gave him the impression she had been living alone for much longer then the six years of adulthood. It made his curiosity about her life stronger and he made a note to talk to Mokuba later.
"Where's Shizuka?" Mai asked.
" She went to get some ice for the refrigerator. It's not keeping the drinks cold enough."
"Alright. I'm going to be in my room. Night." She smiled at him and stood up, scooping up her shoes to carry them to her room. As soon as she got in the room and the door closed, Kaiba said his good night.
He picked up his laptop and put the finishing touches on his email to the board of directors before packing it up and going back into his bedroom. Mokuba was sitting on the couch, surfing through the pay-per-view movies, and he stood up the minute his brother walked into the room.
"Did you find out?"
"I feel kind of guilty doing this, Niisan," Mokuba confessed, rummaging through the papers he had placed on the nightstand that was between the couch and the king-sized bed.
"So do I but if we are going to fabricate that we are getting counseling, it should at least be partly real."
"Is that really why you are researching her?"
Kaiba's head shot up, shocked at his brother's question. " Of course, it is."
"The only things you ever research are the businesses you are planning to take over and who you will have to be fighting off for it." Mokuba found the papers and flopped down on the bed. "But…."
"Stop using the analogy," Kaiba ordered. " Mai is not a business nor is Jonouchi competition to me."
"You didn't deny the taking over part…." Mokuba pointed out.
"So?"
"You want her."
Mokuba's statement hit him hard. He remembered dueling Yugi at the Battle City Finals. Everything had been perfect and fate was on his side. Then something happened and shattered the illusion and the pretenses he had built up. It was that same feeling. Every thing he had thought just spiraled out of his grasp and he was trying to grab the pieces that were dangling just out of reach, trying to make sense of what just happened.
"I don't know what I want, Mokuba," he responded, not bothering to deny it. He didn't feel like lying to himself anymore.
"Alright." Mokuba smiled at his brother and reached over to ruffle his hair, like so many times when their roles were reversed. " This is what I have on her. She was born into a wealthy family that had several houses along the waterfront around the country. Her parents were very busy people and were probably never home so she grew up with nannies. Her mother was an award-winning director while her father was a known architect. When she was six, their names fall off the records and all the houses were sold to the state because no one could figure out if they were dead and if so, where the wills were. Mai's name falls off the records until she is ten and she wins her first dueling competition. Then it shows up occasionally every few months to announce her winnings."
Kaiba nodded. " Have her parents ever been found?"
"Nope. It's just like they disappeared off the face of the earth. But I did notice that there is a small chunk of money, around seven million, that didn't get accounted for when the state took it. My theory is that they couldn't deal with the high-pressured lives and just split, going to somewhere where no one knew them."
"Those people were bastards. How could they leave their daughter homeless and without any money?" Kaiba raged.
"I know."
"And how did she manage to survive for four years until she started getting tournament money? How did she survive for 12 years before she could hold down a real job?" Kaiba continued.
"I know."
"Find it out for me!"
Mokuba nodded. He found it interesting how angry his brother seemed about hearing Mai's past. Maybe his theory wasn't too far off about his brother having something for the older blonde.
"Are you going to do the visit tomorrow?" Mokuba asked.
Kaiba nodded, lying on his stomach as he propped his laptop against a pillow and began to type away furiously.
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People are useless. That was the conclusion Kaiba came to as he pulled the rental car back into the hotel's parking lot, put it in park, and then just sat there, eyes closed.
It had been a rough day for him. He had made the idiotic decision to drive around town and visit the parents of some of the kids who had died and some of the shooter's parents. He wasn't sure why he wanted to besides the fact it may have brought him some answers. However, he found none.
He had forgotten how raw emotions could be. Even after a month, the minute he showed on one family's doorstep, the parents were bawling and showing him pictures of their daughter and son. They questioned him to what happened in there because the police didn't tell them much and they never found the bodies. Kaiba answered as honestly as he could and they cried some more when he told them they were blown up, escaping. They asked him if Yugi was a friend, and Kaiba had to think about it. He told them yes, though he wasn't a friend to Yugi, and they said that their son idolized Yugi. It was all sweet and sugary, making Kaiba both want to cry with them and throw up in the front lawn.
The shooter's families were more interesting. Half of them were still denying their sons were a part of it and others were just sitting around, doing nothing, in so much pain that their son didn't tell them how he felt and then killed a whole bunch of people. One father, from a very slimy area of town judging from the falling down house, tried to steal his car.
But the people he met were not what tired him out as much as the drive back to the hotel. He passed so many parks on the way, and not a single kid was there. He passed the local swimming pool and only toddlers were in there with their mothers. It was a beautiful, hot day out and no was around to enjoy it. It hit Kaiba then how much the town had lost. There were very few kids left and it made him feel so sad.
Kaiba sighed, rearranging his features to put on his collected mask, and focused on the task. He had learned nothing new about why the kids did it and it pissed him off.
"Kaiba…. Kaiba-kun!" he heard someone yelling and he looked across the parking lot. Shizuka was bouncing down the stairs, followed by Mai who did not share the same energy.
"Can we borrow your car? Mai needs to drive me some place," she asked.
He didn't bother asking where they were going although most of the town was associable by walking. He got out of the car and tossed the keys to Mai who caught them one-handed.
"Thank you," Shizuka chirped and he waved good-bye to them as the car pulled out.
He wondered why Mai looked like she was about to die.
The hotel room was cool from the air conditioning and Kaiba could hear the snores from Jonouchi's room as the mutt slept his way through the afternoon. He sat on the couch, bored, feeling unfilled because he didn't have any answers and then it hit him. He looked to Mai's room. Her door was slightly open and he could still hear Jonouchi sleeping. He walked into her room and rummaged through her bag.
Surely enough, as he had thought, she didn't leave any of her belongings back at the mansion, and he clutched the tape to his chest.
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"And this is the place that Kaiba killed five of the gunmen."
The informal monotonic s speech by Mai made her uncomfortable as she was given a tour of the school. They were standing outdoors on the brownish charred grass, looking up at the broken windows and loose bricks that dangled from the walls. She weaved around the roots of a shrubbery and continued to follow Mai.
It had been Shizuka's idea to see the school. She had thought it would be a good way to understand what Jonouchi was feeling and how she could help him. Mai had been the unwilling victim who had to drive her there and Shizuka had believed that Mai would have sulked the entire time they were there.
Instead, the minute Mai stepped out the door; she was very guide-like, face a blank sheet and became a walking book of knowledge. The two girls were looking for a place that wasn't too blown up that they could enter the school without getting severely hurt.
Shizuka had to wonder why the school wasn't blockaded off. It was seriously dangerous. Sharp pieces of glass littered the ground along with bricks and other material that was used to build the school were scattered about, making an almost jungle gym that surrounded the main structure of the school.
Mai pointed to where Jonouchi and her had met up. Shizuka didn't listen. She was annoyed at the mask Mai had on. To be truthful, she was sick of all the masks Kaiba, Mai, and her brother wore. They acted like what happened to them that didn't bother them. Jonouchi and Kaiba had only cried once or twice over it and Mai seemed to be completely unfazed, not crying or doing much of anything grieving related. Mai's voice wasn't even cracking as she listed off who died in which room and how they died.
"Does any of this matter to you?" Shizuka heard herself ask.
Mai turned around. "What?"
"Doesn't it make you want to cry? Doesn't it make you angry?"
"No."
"Do you feel anything?"
Mai smiled. It wasn't a pretty one and she spun around, jumping over a large chunk of plaster. " Nope. I didn't know them. It's hard to miss things you didn't know exist."
Shizuka was instantly reminded of her first encounter with Mai. She was cold then too and she remembered the temper the blonde had. The girl had a stare that alone could kill a man.
It sort of saddened her that she was seeing the same girl that she had met a month earlier. Kaiba and her brother had made progress but she was stagnant. She didn't like the girl she saw in front of her. She wanted to however. She knew her brother liked her and had spent the only night bemoaning how much he had messed up on their date. She wanted to see what her brother saw. She didn't see anything redeemable besides the saving of her brother's life.
Mai must have found a way in because when she left the sanctuary of her thoughts, she saw that she was in the hallway. It was slathered in blood and in ash, and she shivered as she followed Mai down the hallway. Mai didn't even pause or grimace.
"This is the place where your boyfriend Honda was killed," she pointed to an open hole in the wall. Shizuka could see the gray sky with heavy clouds that threatened to send down rain.
"He wasn't my boyfriend," she told her.
"Oh. I got the impression he was. Were the two of you close?" Mai was sitting on the windowsill in the center of a chalk outline. Shizuka didn't need to be told that the person died trying to escape.
"We were."
"Tell me, Shizuka. Did you cry for him?"
Shizuka's mouth opened to respond but no words would come out. She was flabbergasted. " You are a sick and cruel person, you know that.," she yelled when she found her voice and stormed down the hallway.
"Wouldn't do that. Don't know what's out there," Mai called out and Shizuka spun around reluctantly. "Why does the question bother you? Have you shed a tear for your Honda-kun?"
Shizuka didn't want to answer the question.
"You forgot him. Your brother was alive and needing someone. It's easy to forget when there are people who depend on us for strength. It's okay to not feel sad or mad because we have something else, something real, to focus our attention on. It's not okay though to scrutinize and criticize the way I deal with things when you have done it yourself."
Shizuka knew she was right deep down but she wasn't going to give the blonde the satisfaction of yet again finding the problem. Honda was important to her but his death wasn't affecting her. In her mind, he was just back in Domino, several hours from her home where she went to school, and some weekend would roll around and he'd call her and they'd do something.
She didn't realize she was crying until she felt the blonde hug her. The t-shirt was soft cotton, well worn, and it was good to cry into.
''''"''''''"'''' ''''"''''''"'''' ''''"''''''"'''' ''''"''''''"''''
The video was cued to where it had left off. Mai was crouched on the ground, much like a tiger ready to pounce, staring at the body of the guy she had just killed. A hatchet stuck out of his forehead, blade dripping with blood tipped towards his eyes. It chilled Kaiba to the bone to see the smile that lit up her face, so wrongly cheerful and she stood up, taking a hold of the handle of the hatchet. She paused, debating over taking it out or not, and finally she decided to let the sharp instrument rest in the guy's brains.
She walked over to Jonouchi who was staring at her in fear. He was glued to where he stood and she stopped a few inches from him. " I am not going to kill you, Jonouchi," she told him. " Stop cowering and let's get out of here."
Jonouchi took her offered hand and she pulled him to his feet. "Who are you?"
Kaiba noticed that Mai almost looked hurt by his statement but the look swiftly disappeared. "Someone who has every intention of saving your life," she answered. " Come." She walked out the door and Jonouchi jogged to keep up.
Mai led through a goose chase through the school, going to every entrance and peering out the window and around the door to see if there were bombs stationed. Jonouchi hung back, looking lost and confused. Shock had set in for him and it was only adrenaline that was keeping him moving and semi-functioning.
Kaiba found it interesting how they found no one in the halls at this time. There was no shooting, only a profound silence with only the noise of the motors in the air conditioning vents in the ceiling filling it. The silence was making Jonouchi jumpy because of the anticipation but Mai seemed to enjoy the calm. She hadn't freaked out yet which surprised him because she was being constantly shot out and had killed far too many people.
"Are you sure there is an entrance that isn't blocked?" Jonouchi asked, hearing a distant clap of noise.
"Yeah. The gunmen would need somewhere to escape." Mai ran to the doorway and looked outside. From the angle the camera gave, Kaiba could make out some blue and red lights swirling around. It appeared to be the police from the noise the sirens suddenly made. Jonouchi jumped.
"We need to find where the gunmen are. That will be where the unblocked entrance is. Most likely, they'll make a run for it now that the SWAT and police have shown. As soon as all they get out of the building, they have no reason to not detonate all the bombs instead of allowing them to blow on their own," Mai told him.
"I don't want to die," Jonouchi whispered.
"Don't worry. I'll protect you," Mai smiled at him and motioned for him to stay still while she ran into one of the classrooms. She emerged with three pistols and Kaiba watched her flick the safety off them. She handed one to Jonouchi and palmed the other two, keeping them tight to her side.
"I don't know…."
"Point and Shoot. Aim for the head or the leg. Chest is protected. All else fails, shoot randomly and hide behind something," Mai explained, interrupting him. " Come."
"What if I don't want to go with you?" Jonouchi challenged.
Kaiba rolled his eyes. It was just like Jonouchi to try to defy authority.
"I'm not forcing you. But you will be killed if you don't trust me. I know what I am doing."
"Oh yeah. You come across fire fights all the time," Jonouchi responded, obviously not in enough shock to argue.
"Maybe I have."
Jonouchi didn't know how to respond to that and she continued. " Your best option is to stay with me. You don't know if there are other people out there alive. You have neither plan nor ability to shoot or kill, which you will have to do if you want to get out of here alive. Do you want to die, Jonouchi?"
"No. But going in there is suicide."
"I know," Mai dove, body slamming into Jonouchi to knock him behind the curve of a wall, out of the camera's eye, as gunfire rang out from down the hall. "Stay put. I'm going to take them on. Be right back."
Mai scrambled from behind the cover of the wall, back onto the camera, guns drawn, slinking closer to where she heard the shooting. She followed the voices she could hear and found three guys clothed in black, standing around the bodies of what looked to be, ten-year olds from the flowery dresses they had on and the rolled up socks. She went behind the door and kneeled, snippering them off one by one. It was much too easy, Kaiba thought, and Mai jogged back to where she left Jonouchi.
He was no longer there. Mai swore and went down the opposite hallway, using the red marks on the floor to guide her. His shoes had blood on them and for that, she was thankful.
Kaiba watched her go to the end of the hallway and open the single door that was there. She stepped back and Kaiba waited in anticipation for the camera to shift to the one in that room.
A girl was throwing an axe around, trying to connect it with Jonouchi who was backing away slowly, scared half to death. She didn't look like a shooter since she wasn't in black and was female. Kaiba immediately figured out she was one of the few students that survived initially. She must have been frightened and assumed Jonouchi was going to kill her, so she was going to kill him first.
Kaiba watched Mai level the gun at the girl, waiting for Jonouchi to get far enough for her to not spoke him or accidentally kill him. Jonouchi jumped back and slipped, going down instantly with a loud cracking noise. The girl swung the axe down and he rolled, avoiding most of the blade but it sliced into his side. He screamed as the blood oozed onto his shirt, and she un-lodged the head, and again raised the axe above her head to strike. Mai shot the gun twice, the first bullet hitting her arm and the ax fell, falling on Jonouchi's ankle, which he began to scream even louder, and the second bullet hit her neck, killing her the rest of the way.
Mai rushed over to him, throwing the ax at the wall so she could examine his leg. It was bleeding from where the head of the axe had nicked it but otherwise looked all right. His side was in worse shape with blood pouring out and Mai peeled off her tank top, stretching to grab the axe and she used the sharp blade to cut it into one thin strip of fabric, an almost impossible feat Kaiba felt.
"Can you sit up?" she asked him and she helped him lift up his chest. He was grimacing in pain and she quickly wrapped the make-shirt bandage tightly around his stomach and ribs and tied it at the side. She pulled down his shirt and stood up.
"You need to stand," she told him and she dragged him to his feet. His ankle gave out the second he put weight on it and she swore. " Lean on me."
Kaiba noticed what Mai hadn't seen. Jonouchi's eyes were dilating and beginning to lose their brightness. He was going to pass out soon.
"What do you do next, Mai," he wondered, pausing the tape to grab a soda.
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The blonde hair would turn a golden ethereal color when the sunlight hit it and Mai lazily opened her eyes. Shizuka was sitting next to her on the pavement, in the middle of what once was the school's driveway. They were taking a short break before they got back in the car and drove the ten miles back to the hotel.
"Why did you stop believing in God?" Shizuka asked, breaking the silence that they had held since she had broken down and cried.
"I realized he wasn't going to save me," Mai answered, eyes squinted from the bright light. She reached for her purse and rummaged around for her sunglasses.
"From what?"
"Someone like you who was born surrounded by people can never understand what it is like to be alone. It never occurs to people what life is like for a young child who is forced with all the responsibility of an adult but none of the resources. He couldn't offer me salvation from the drudgery of my life so I discarded him." Mai found the sunglasses and put them on, now capable of looking at Shizuka who was right in the sun's path. The red highlights in her hair shone and the bridge of her nose was beginning to freckle.
"I guess I don't know. I don't know what you went through, I don't think any of us can except for Kaiba," Shizuka acknowledged. Mai nodded her agreement and exhaled, letting the sun warm her cold skin.
"I know it makes you uncomfortable to talk about God…" Mai snorted. "…But when you were there, did you hear any voices telling you what to do or did you pray?"
"Why do you want to know?" It seemed to be a question Mai asked a lot and Shizuka had a ready answer.
"I've been thinking of what I would have done if I had been there. I was invited, you know, but I ate something the night before and I was too ill to go on the plane with Jou that day."
"Ah, the miracles of fate," Mai said sarcastically. " If you have gone, you'd been killed."
"Why's that?"
"You wouldn't have been allowed to watch the duels so you would have been with your Honda and Anzu. You would have been burned alive."
To hear that wasn't nearly as reassuring as Shizuka thought it would be.
"No. I didn't hear any voices. I didn't pray. I just reacted and my instincts were right. I didn't die."
Shizuka wasn't sure why the words Mai said rattled around her brain and made her uncomfortable. "Why did you save Jou?"
"We've been through this." A cloud passed in front of the sun and the sky and space they sat in darkened.
"I know. I am hoping you may give me a different answer."
"And if I don't?"
Shizuka looked at the blonde. She looked so old and young at the same time, stubborn snarl of a child, and the wise eyes of an adult who had seen far too much and didn't talk to protect herself. " It wasn't chance or fate that brought you to save his life. Jonouchi told me about the tapes. It was premeditation. No one without an exact purpose would have walked around the school with guns being fired every which way unless they had a reason."
"What if I told you my reason for walking around had nothing to do with your brother?" Mai responded.
"It did "
"You don't know that, Shizuka."
"I know it did!"
Mai sighed. " Wish what you will."
"Even if it wasn't, why did you save him? You could have saved his life then just abandon him."
Mai didn't answer for some time. She just stared off into the sky, waiting for the sun to peak its nose out from behind the clouds.
"Have you ever met someone in your life that you thought would be perfect for you? Not in a sexual, loving manner or a best friend way, but someone who you could have a connection with. But you know deep down there's too much distance between you and something that beautiful is not meant to exist. I saw the bridge that could connect our two separate worlds and I decided to take it. "
"Do you have a crush on my brother, Mai?" Shizuka whispered.
"No,"
Jonouchi wasn't going to be too happy to hear that. " Why did he think he was perfect for you? What was he perfect for?"
"Friend, lover…I thought he would work for either. He just seemed carefree and happy. I was jealous. He had friends and he could fail and people would still like him. He was noble…trying to win the money for your surgery and he was just everything I wish I was…"
"…But not?" Shizuka interrupted.
Mai nodded.
"What changed?"
Mai sighed, slipping off her sunglasses so that when she looked Shizuka in the eye, Shizuka could read every expression that passed the violet eyes. " He's a good kid, and that's the problem. He's too young. He doesn't have the life experience that I have. It could work. I mean, he's cute and nice, though at times immature…. but I don't think if we were to have a relationship, it would be healthy."
"And it would be with Kaiba? Shizuka blurted out.
Mai looked at her strangely. "Who said anything about Kaiba?"
Shizuka kept quiet. " Let's go home."
Mai agreed by standing up and taking the keys from around her neck.
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Kaiba remembered the first time he had looked at the photo of Mai on the cover of Time Magazine. He thought she looked like an Amazon Warrior. The image she was presenting on the TV screen cemented that idea into his head.
Before passing out, she had convinced Jonouchi to ride piggyback, and she was stuck carrying his dead weight on her back. Both hands were occupied, holding guns and she was biting a knife for easy access in case she needed it. She had gotten fortunate that Jonouchi was lucid enough to keep his legs and arms tight around her waist and neck, but at any minute that could go and he'd slip off her.
She was marching through the hallway, towards the sound of guns. Kaiba remembered the floor plan saying it was the gym and it was all off by its lonesome, having only one hallway to go through. The students there were the last ones to die. They had hid in the locker rooms and forgot to lock the doors.
Mai paused outside the gym where loud laughing could be heard and she shifted Jonouchi's weight so he was higher up on her back. The audio on the tape picked up the loud sirens and the sound of people walking around outside could be heard. It was all going to be ending soon and Mai steadied her guns.
She stood on her tiptoes to look into the glass windows and she spotted directly across from the front door, another door that led to a hallway with windows. Kaiba sensed the logic streaming through her mind of bombs not being near the windows and he watched her throw open the doors to the gym and start running.
He didn't think she would survive it. Her speed was incredibly slow from carrying a 62 kg boy and with all the bullets whizzing around, it wouldn't have been a surprise if she got hit. She was shooting them off in both directions, aiming at her shooters, and it was only pure luck that everyone was occupied with not getting hit, and Mai hit the door handle hard, shutting it behind her.
The camera fed changed and it almost looked like a video game as Mai set Jonouchi down lightly, gave a quick glance at the door, and slid open the window. It went easily and Mai grabbed Jonouchi, dragging him to the windowsill. She looked to be trying to do it with some grace and not hurt him, but the shooters showed up, and she pulled him, sending both of them falling into the brush, landing on their backs.
Kaiba chuckled as the image changed to a camera that was positioned outside to look for intruders. Jonouchi was unconscious and would never get to know that he had landed on Mai, and Kaiba watched Mai scoot him off her, and drag him away from the building, keeping low to avoid the shots out the window at them.
They were out of the bushes and Mai hoisted Jonouchi against her shoulder, walking out into the parking lot. It was like the end of the race. Because of the wide view of the camera, Kaiba could see the crowd of reporters and emergency personal crowded on the other side of the street When she had gotten half way across the parking lot, the school blew up and the photo that Mai was known for was taken…
Kaiba stopped the tape and rewound it to the place he had started at. It had shocked him to see her disregard for danger and to know that she was the only person that didn't get injured was remarkable. The image in his mind of a warrior was replaced with a goddess because no thing except a god could be that fortunate to survive what she did.
But he was left still with the question of why she did what she did. He could care less about Jonouchi. Why did she keep putting herself in the killer's path when she could have taken the simpler path and have been safe?
It was like she wanted to die. That revelation came to Kaiba and he couldn't dismiss the idea. It fit too perfectly.
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Nostalgia led her to the beach. Too many nights when she was little were spent sitting in front of the window, watching the water churn itself on top of itself and then end with a soft caress to the shore to only begin again. It used to calm her and help her sleep. She was hoping it would tonight.
So far it wasn't. She had walked up and down the beach barefoot, feeling the sand squish between her toes. The ocean roared around her and she saw the occasional crab scour by. She figured she couldn't find any peace was because the moon wasn't out, still obstructed by clouds, and the moon was the missing component to her childhood fantasy.
She had been alone so when she saw a shadow walking towards her from near the beach of their hotel, she got a little bit nervous. She was hoping it was one of the guys and to her surprise, it turned out to be Kaiba.
"What are you doing out here?" she asked him as he neared her,
Kaiba shrugged. He was dressed casually in jeans and a black t-shirt. Mai didn't realize he owned anything that normal.
"Did you come out here to see me?"
Kaiba gave her a strange look. " Why would I come down to see you?"
"You don't seem the type to do something for no reason. You had a purpose coming down here."
"Maybe I just want to view the scenery?" Kaiba suggested, walking aside her.
"You never stop and admire your surroundings."
Kaiba raised an eyebrow. It was true. He had a huge mansion and he only used six rooms in it. He didn't really notice any other part of the house except when there was company and the maids reminded him there were free rooms there.
"Jonouchi told me you used to live by the ocean. Which house was that?" Kaiba asked. He had acquired more paperwork documenting Mai's history in his e-mail. It seemed her family had owned six homes and sold two when they were still around, buying new ones.
"All of them had some body of water next to them but that was the one in South Carolina. And just so you realize, Kaiba, I didn't tell Jonouchi that I had more then one house."
Kaiba realized he was caught and thought he should probably confess. " I did some research on you."
"And…" Mai stopped walking and turned to him.
"And what?"
She smirked at him, stepping into his personal space. It made him uneasy. " Are you going to tell me also that you watched the video tape that I specifically asked you not to, stealing it out of my bag then returning it?"
"I did that too." He admitted. " How did you know?"
"I didn't. You covered your tracks well. You avoided me all day since I got back with Shizuka."
Kaiba mentally yelled at himself. He forgot to act normal. " Should I be apologizing?" He didn't think he would ever be asking such a weird question before. Normally he would apologize and if they didn't like it, tough. But exchanges with her were different like a fencing match where the opponents only circled each other, both threatening to attack but neither ever doing just that.
"No. I wouldn't have brought it to America with me and hid it in such a obvious place if I didn't want you would watch it." She backed away and continued walking. He caught up with her and grabbed her arm, pulling her to face him.
"Did you want to die?" were the first words that came out of his mind. He had wanted to ease in the subject but sometimes the direct approach was more effective.
"Have you ever wanted to die, Kaiba-kun?" she responded. She was gazing up at him, and he could see his own face reflected in the glassy surface.
He wanted to say no. It was a barbaric thing to want. Life was precious, shouldn't end life…. but that would be lying to both her and himself if he said that.
"Yeah. The first few weeks with Gozaburo were horrible. He was beating me frequently; I was exhausted from schoolwork. Mokuba was crying and wetting the bed at night. I was in a strange place and nothing was going right. I wanted to end it there. I didn't know if I would survive."
"But you didn't. Why?"
He felt that she already knew the answer but he decided to go along with her rhetorical question. " I couldn't leave Mokuba alone to deal with that monster. I promised I would take care of him and I could only do it while I was living."
"I have no one to live for, Kaiba-kun. I don't have family or friends. I was on my own at six and I didn't have the advantage of my parents dying to get me placed anywhere else but the streets. I have worked all my life, demeaning myself, destroying myself to survive. For what? A happier future…I don't have a future. I have never gone to school. All I will ever be doing is either whoring myself out for the person who will pay the most for itor doing minimum wage jobs."
Her mask was crumbling and he saw the frantic child who just wanted to cry and give up. "Why didn't you try to kill yourself sooner if it was so bad?"
"I tried. And every time, some fuckin' good Samaritan decided to take me to the hospital, leaving me to pay with the bills for medications and treatment. I gave up…." She paused and Kaiba waited for her to speak. Her eyes were glittering as tears formed and fell.
"So when I saw them shooting, I was so excited, " her smile was sad. " It was my chance to leave this place and all I had to do was get myself in the path of a gun. But it didn't work. They kept shooting and I kept killing them. And…it wouldn't stop. I kept living…" she was sobbing too hard to talk and her normally beautiful face was squished together as she cried tears that were long overdue.
Kaiba pulled her closer to him and held her, resting his chin on her head. Eventually her trembling and whimpering ended and he heard her whisper, " I thought you hated being touched."
"I'm willing to make an exception."
She chuckled and he felt her smile as she pressed her head into his shoulder, staring out at the ocean.
Author's Note: Another chapter is done and we are getting closer to the end. That excites me. I have to work on college essays. Oh the joy of that. Here goes my analysis on the chapter.
ShizukaI was writing the chapter and it occurred to me that Shizuka had connections with all of Jonouchi's friends. Wouldn't she be sad about it? Why hadn't I covered it? So thus I needed a reaction and I took the one that the story took room for. She forgot about it. I mean, it's sort of easy to forget about death when there are other things going on in your life. Plus it made an interesting parallel in the story. She condones Mai and Kaiba for the same thing she is doing.
Mai/Jonouchi/KaibaI have finally got around to setting the scene for the relationships. Kaiba and Jonouchi are very typical guys and don't realize their thoughts until someone points them out to them. Mai, on the other hand, knows her emotions about Jonouchi but not Kaiba. But hopefully she'll discover those soon.
In case you haven't realized, this is going to be Kaiba/Mai. I didn't intend on writing this couple but for this story, it works really well. And the more I think about it, Jonouchi and Mai having a relationship is a disaster waiting to happen. It's too cute to work.
Ignoring the romantic relationship between the three characters, I wanted to show the end of barriers. At the beginning, they don't trust each other but as time goes on, they are beginning to open up. Kaiba revels this by allowing Mai to touch him and Jonouchi going out on a date with Mai. Jonouchi and Kaiba were taking respectfully. The semi-trust extends to Shizuka and Mai as well. I think Mai would see Shizuka as someone she would trust. After all, Jonouchi was in a coma for a week. And although I didn't write it, I think a bond would have formed over the shared interest in his health. It would only get stronger now that Shizuka knows about her brother's feelings for Mai and Mai has to face them.
I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review!