I keep hearing their screams at night. A man and a woman, just before they died. I don't remember who they were, what they looked like, what their names were, or why I remember them. I don't remember having a home, what country I'm from, anything. All I know is the battlefield.
Sometimes, in the barracks, I hear the other kids talking about where they're from. Not when any of the adults are around. NEVER when the adults are around. We're supposed to be their perfect little killing machines, and I'm supposed to be the best of them all.
My name's Jack. Just Jack. At least, I guess that's what my name is. That's what all the adults call me. That's what Commander Sears calls me. And he's in charge of everyone. The other kids call me Jack the Ripper, or White Devil. Or just "Sir". In this place, everyone answers to someone. Even Commander Sears.
He says he rescued me, says he saved me from a battlefield. But when I try to remember the first time I met him, all I hear are the screams. I call him Dad, even though he's not much older than me. Commander Sears is only a teenager, but he's already a real bigshot. He doesn't treat me too bad, though, 'cause I'm so good at killing. He even gave me my first gun.
As for me? I'm nothing. Just a grunt in the "Small Boy Unit". Just a little kid. But it's really not so bad, living here. If you can even call it living. They feed us pretty well, even if it tastes funny sometimes. When we're not fighting, or training, we get something called "image training". The adults herd us into a little room, and show us movies of big fake men with fake guns fighting fake wars. Sometimes, when I'm out on the battlefield, I like to pretend I'm one of them. I imagine that when I'm done fighting, and all the bad guys are dead, I'll be a big hero, and there'll be a big statue of me in every town. It's stupid, I know. I'll never be a hero. And I'll never kill all the bad guys, or get the girl. That's the only thing I hate, the fact that they just keep coming. I guess it's not really so bad. If I kill enough of them, all the adults tell me how great I am.
Sometimes, the only way I make it through the day is by keeping in mind that things could be much worse. All I have to do is shoot a few bullets, and I get food and a bed. Commander Sears says he's seen a lot of war orphans. You know, kids whose parents were killed. He says that there are kids who die from stuff like starvation or hypothermia. I don't really know what those words mean. But the Commander says they're bad.
He keeps telling me that I'll get out of here someday. That someday, the war will be over. I don't know about that. It's hard to imagine a world without war in it. I've been fighting my whole life. But he says that I'll have a real home to go to after we beat the bad guys, and I'll be a hero. I hope he's right. I don't have much else to hope for.