Ave Maria
" I'm in love with you."
" I know," she smiled at him sadly and he sighed, gazing into her eyes, unsure of what to say.
"Do you feel anything for me?" he asked.
"No."
"Damnit! Why do you have to be so blunt?"
"I don't know what else to be, Jonouchi-kun."
Silence.
"What is it?"
"I think of you as more of a friend then as a lover."
Silence.
" It's Kaiba, isn't it?"
She nodded and he continued. " He isn't going to be admitting anything for you for a long time."
"I know."
" Are you willing to wait…maybe years for him to see what I see?"
She nodded.
"I guess I can't stop you," he sighed. " Have a nice life, Mai." He began to walk away towards where his plane was loading
"Wait!" he heard her yell and she caught his arm, tugging him to her. She kissed him lightly on the lips and smirked. He brought his index tip to his lips, making sure what had just happened was real. " You're a good kid, Jou. Anybody would be lucky to have you."
"But not you?"
"Not me," she validated.
Mai believed in coincidences. She believed that everything had a reason for happening though it wasn't obvious. It could not be irony that a dueling competition, one that offered a ton of money, was being put on by Kaiba and was taking place on her birthday, November 20.
She hadn't seen Kaiba or Jonouchi since that fateful day in the summer, right before Jonouchi and Kaiba left to go back to Japan, when Jonouchi had confessed his love for her. Almost four months had passed and she hadn't got any word from anyone but Jonouchi who religiously e-mailed her. Jonouchi was going back to school and had caught up on most of the work he had missed from moping around his house all day. He ranted about the people at school and talked with passion about all the dueling he was doing and how much he enjoyed it. He was ranked number 1 in Japan because Kaiba had dropped off the scene. Jonouchi couldn't understand why Kaiba had done it when he finally had the opportunity to be #1 but Mai understood why. Kaiba lived for the challenge and claimed it was for the glory. He would win without any problems. Jonouchi was no match for him or was any other duelist including herself. Kaiba wanted competition to drive him to his highest potential and with Yugi gone, he had no one and dueling lost his interest. Instead, from Jonouchi's letters, Mokuba was learning how to duel and he was getting nearly as good as his brother. The company was occupying Kaiba's time and besides that, Jonouchi knew nothing more.
Her plane was late coming in and she swore the baggage claim had gone around twenty million times, and she still wasn't seeing her bag. It annoyed her greatly. She wanted to stare at her new bags that she had bought from the money she had taken in and scoff at all the pathetic duffel bags other people were using, a bag she once lived out of.
The shooting had done wonders for her life. It was sad that something so depressing and sickening could benefit her so well but it had. She was almost glad she wasn't killed. Some producer in New York City had decided she would make an excellent model and had offered her a job. She had passed it with flying colors and now worked as a runway model and had an exclusive contract with Victoria's Secret. She had extra money kicking around now and it was so nice to eat three meals a day. Her home was now a studio apartment that she was sharing with a few college students and she adored it. She didn't like people very much but the three girls were easy to get along with and she rarely saw them with her busy schedule and their equally hectic lifestyle.
She got fed up with waiting for her bag and all the people who were pushing to get closer, and she decided to ask about it. It turned out they had lost her bag and it was somewhere in Taiwan. She wanted to scream but she didn't have anything too important in it. Her deck and wallet were in her coat pockets and she had the address to her hotel on a piece of paper. She gave the guy her address and told him to forward it to her.
The streets of Domino City were busy and she submerged herself in the crowd that was leaving the airport and crossing the street to where the taxis were waiting and the actual city was. All the taxis were taken when she got across the street and she decided to walk instead of waiting.
The cold air hit the patch of leg between her skirt and boots, and she could feel it goose-bumping. She pulled her long fur-cut tighter around her and kept walking. She followed the stone fence that marked the boundaries of a park, coming to the business district. She had used her connections to get a room that wasn't a cubicle and she walked up the street.
Neon lights flashed everywhere and old men in suits were running around, either drunk or about to get drunk. Through the haze of speech that came from cell phones and drunken chatter, she could hear men wailing in the karaoke bars. It made her smile and she took out her strip of paper that listed off her address.
She knew her Japanese wasn't fabulous though by all conventional standards, she was fluent. She couldn't find any hotels with names that resembled the one she had written down. Flashing back to the conversation she had had with the guy on the phone, she was positive that she had written the right kanji and hiragana down, and if she hadn't, she had written out the full name and had translated it every way possible just in case. She looked at the address and it said it was on this street. She hated Japan sometimes. Even the addresses were screwed up and even if it was on this street, it could just as well not be. It could off a side street or in the general vicinity of the area. She growled, and she looked up at the sound of an amused laugh.
"What are you doing here, Kaiba?" she asked. He didn't look too surprised to see her, seeing that he had probably handled her reservations for the competition. He was in one of his traditional trench coats except it was lined in fur to keep him warm. Snowflakes were tangled in his hair and for the first time, she noticed it was snowing lightly. He must have been out there for a long time, she figured, if he had that many on him.
"I had to go to the police station and remind them to block off this road tomorrow. And what are you doing here?"
"Looking for my hotel," she handed him the piece of paper. " Know where it is?"
His eyes skimmed over it. " Nope." He looked up at her and gave an almost smile. " You can stay with me if you want."
"Isn't that a conflict of interest?"
"No."
Mai smiled. " I'd love to then."
"Good. You're going to have to walk a few blocks though."
"I don't mind," she reassured him and he led out of the business district and back to the stonewall which he nimbly jumped over and then, like a gentleman, helped her over.
"The mansion is on the other side of the park," he offered as an explanation.
"So how you been?" she asked as they trudged through the piles of dead leaves. The seasons were beginning to change in Japan from fall to winter, and though it was not nearly as drastic as it was in America, she found it beautiful to watch. The trees were bare and so the sky, which was so rarely seen, was apparent. She could see all the stars and the snow that seemed to be headed right towards her like bullets.
"Alright. The tournament and trying to get the Kaiba Land's in America to function without my constant supervision have been taking up most of my time."
"Did you have to visit America?"
"Several times."
"And you didn't think to visit me?" she didn't bother to hide her annoyance in her voice. She had wanted to see him. She wanted him to realize his feelings because she couldn't be the one making the first move. It had to be Kaiba because he was the one with the intimacy issues.
"I saw your show for Victoria Secret." He said it like it was a consolation prize. In its own way, it sort of was. It was televised across America and she got to march down a runway in nothing but panties and a bra and Angel Wings. It was empowering and incredibly fun to do.
"And did you enjoy it?"
He didn't make eye contact with her. "Yeah." A blush was staining his cheeks. He looked adorable.
She changed the subject "How was your birthday?"
"Uneventful. Mokuba wanted to throw me a birthday party to celebrate me turning 18 but we couldn't think of anyone to invite. Instead I ended up watching movies with him and Jonouchi."
" That must have been boring."
"It was but somewhat relaxing."
Mai smiled at his comment and they both fell silent as they walked up the hill. His house, she remembered, was on the other side. She didn't know if when they got to his house, he would fall silent and return to ignoring her. She decided to skip ahead and just ask what was bugging her.
"Why did you hold a competition?" she asked, stopping at the foot of the hill.
Kaiba walked a few feet before realizing she wasn't moving, and he turned around. " I like to see people duel."
"Why did you choose for the opening day to be on my birthday?"
"I didn't know…"
"Bullshit!" Mai interrupted him. " You researched me. I know you must have found my birth date in it somewhere."
"And if I did arrange this on purpose?" Kaiba answered.
Mai stepped forward. Kaiba remained frozen in his spot. " I am just curious why."
"I don't know." She took another step. She was close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating off him and his coat brushing against hers as the wind carried the loose fabric. " I wanted to see you."
"Why?"
Their breath was mingling. Kaiba looked scared, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights, and Mai knew it was only his stubbornness that kept him from running away. " What if I don't want to answer that?" he whispered.
"I want you to."
His eyes fluttered shut and he exhaled. Mai wondered if she went too far. She was scared he was emotionally shutting down, something he did rather well when he felt threatened. His eyes opened again.
"I think I like you in a not-so-friendly way," he muttered, looking up at the sky. Mai wanted to laugh at his word choice. It made him sound like a nerd but she knew Kaiba wasn't the most articulate person when it came to his feelings. He probably didn't know how to say it without sounding weird.
"Thank you," she whispered, leaning her head on his shoulder. She hoped he wouldn't move away and he managed to stay still though she could see his eyes flitting around nervously. " I needed to hear that." She lifted up her head and took a step back to give him some space.
"I don't understand why you like me," he mumbled, eyes finally meeting hers. " I'm not anything special or I can't give you what you want."
"What do I want, Kaiba-kun?"
"Seto," he corrected instantly.
Mai couldn't help but smile. "What do I want, Seto?"
"You deserve someone who wouldn't flinch every time you touch them and can touch you without forcing themselves to do it. You deserve someone who can spend time with you and not think of all the time they are wasting because they aren't working. You deserve…"
Mai shushed him. " Answer a question for me. Do you want to touch me?"
"Yes."
"And do you long for touch?"
It took longer for Kaiba to answer. " Yes."
Mai smiled at him. "Then it's okay. I wouldn't like you if you weren't flawed."
"But…"
"No buts," she interrupted him. " I like you, Seto Kaiba, and you are going to accept that."
The smile that graced his face was almost creepy because it didn't match his normally stoic features. Mai thought it was beautiful and she smiled.
"I'm not perfect, Seto. I don't pretend to be. I have issues as do you and I have yet to face them. I want to face them with you."
Kaiba just stared at her and she laughed, trying to lighten the mood. " Come on. Let's go back to your house."
He nodded, and ever so slowly, grabbed her mittened hand. She looked at him in surprise and he nodded.
They held hands the rest of the way to his house.
Author's Note
And I am done. Yes!
I know it's short but I thought it worked. I wrote three drafts to this. I didn't finish the first two and they were both longer then this.
I wanted Kaiba and Mai to kiss but I would have to write like seven more chapters to get that to that point. Kaiba has too many issues to work through to do anything more then hold hands.
It sort of felt like I was writing a bad soap opera but that's alright. I got it done. The story is done. I am content now. Now to say my observations.
Mai's approach to Kaiba
Mai is a Scorpio. Scorpio's, by nature, are intense and aggressive. That is why I chose her to take her particular approach to getting Kaiba to admit his feelings. They intimidate and try to frighten the opposition. I know that, a Scorpio, tend to use the stare down technique to get what I want. The less one says, the scarier it is. People rarely get away without doing what I want them to do when I do it.
Jonouchi, the puppy
Kaiba calls Jonouchi a mutt often in fanfiction and in the series, it is similar in tone and name. I want to say make inu but I am too lazy to look it up. I find it interesting how much it is used even when Kaiba isn't in the scene with Jonouchi. As I was writing the first draft, I was doing a scene where Jonouchi confesses his feelings and Mai thinks about Jonouchi, and in a way, she is the mother dog and he is her puppy. It occurred to me that Jonouchi truly is a puppy. He doesn't think, relying in instinct to guide him. He follows the person with power and strives to become like them, like a child idolizes their parent.
Kaiba vs. Jonouchi
Both of the males have issues. But yet, despite Kaiba being introverted and therefore drawing inside of himself when he encounters emotional turmoil, and Jonouchi being extroverted, truly loving being around people and appearing more open, Kaiba's issues are much more open in the series. It's not only that they are shown more often because of Noa or the Big Five, but Kaiba, despite how much he hides them, radiates brooding and darkness. Jonouchi doesn't appear to have any issues but I think deep down, Jonouchi has a lot more issues then Kaiba does. They may not be as serious or long-suffering as Kaiba's but they're there.
The meaning of the shooting
An aspect of writing is not telling but showing. I tell too much but I wanted to add this in. Kaiba never finds his meaning of the shooting. I meant to put in what he discovers, now that they have had time to reflect upon it but I couldn't find a place so I tried to show it.
All horrible events have no reason for them happening. It's not God or some higher purpose. All it really is, is some stupid selfish people deciding to hurt people for no other reason then they believe it is the right thing to do or they want people to suffer as much as they are. There is no purpose to it. But the true reason why it has to happen in the end, and why if we were given the chance to redo events in history if there was a time machine, I would think it would be stupid to re-invent those moments, is that it brings change. We begin to focus on our life. It opens doors we didn't realize were open. We see things for what they are and what they could be because hell, we just died. We want to live now.
For Kaiba, it was seeing Yugi and himself for the people they were, not the people he had built them up to be. He finally sees himself as Jonouchi always has, a selfish billionaire who doesn't give a crap, and he works on changing them. He admits he liked Yugi and he is working on becoming a better person.
For Jonouchi, it is reconciling with his sister. It is understanding the things he didn't notice before such as Kaiba's good points and the attitudes of his friends.
And for Mai, her lesson is that she needs to live. She spends her time counting off the seconds until her death. She gets a second chance because of the shooting. She is able to change her unfortunate circumstances into something great.
And ultimately, all of them learn to trust.
I hope you enjoyed my entire story and that you review. I really enjoyed writing this and for once in my life, I feel like I have grown as a writer. This is the first story I ever really tried to keep the characters as they are in the series and thought about the implications of what I write.
Thank you for sharing this journey with me