Disclaimer: Gundam SEED is owned by Sunrise and Bandai.
Our Way to FallChapter 3: Fury
Bang. And then the sound of a bloody bullet clinking upon contact with the marble ground.
A scream.
It was everywhere. Blood. Parts of the floor were seeped in a dark crimson, like a can of paint had been knocked over, but the tangy smell of iron in the air yelled that it wasn't paint, but something else... Blood. The walls were artistically splattered. Blood. And his body… wrapped in a stained uniform… what would have looked like spilled wine if only he wasn't on the ground, eyes closed and face pale. Cagalli had to force herself not to vomit at the sight of it all. He was dead.
There, laughing maniacally, was Raul le Kreuze, holding a weapon of 7.62 mm caliber. Then the laughing was halted suddenly, and the proud ZAFT captain's face turned steadily purple. An arm wrapped around Kreuze's neck, suffocating him. Cagalli caught a glimpse of those violet eyes she'd recognize anywhere, except now they were blank and empty and above all, violent and purposeful.
"Kira, stop!" Athrun had just rushed into the room, "Don't do it!"
Kira said nothing; his face was unemotional but his eyes spoke of infinite fury and maybe, a glimpse of pain. Still he did not release Kreuze from the choke hold.
"Please Kira, stop!" Cagalli was about to burst into tears, and now she desperately tried to hold back the tears that were lingering on the brim of her eyes.
"Kira! Don't! We need him! Think of what taking the captain of the ZAFT military for a hostage would mean!" Athrun said. He glanced at his former captain/You were like a father to me, like my father never was. I must save you, even if you are ZAFT/ he thought.
"So you are on his side." Kira spat out the words like they were venom, "Traitor."
Athrun lay silent. His face was contorted and pale. Cagalli's eyes glanced back and forth between Kira and Athrun. She was scared because of the death in the air, the smell of blood, but more so, she was truly frightened by this new Kira, who no longer smiled and was kind, but seemed violent and ruthless. Athrun's hands were balled into fists. He seemed to tremble in anger because of Kira's accusation. She reached over and held his hand. Even in this dire situation, Athrun was still comforted slightly by that small soft hand that held his. He gained confidence and retorted back:
"You know it's not right, Kira." Athrun took a breath, "I feel sorrow for Major Fllaga's death as well, but this is war. Not everything can be separated into right or wrong, black or white. Almost everyone wants to do the write thing, but each person's view of what's right differs by a shade. Lacus taught me that. This war started all because we can't forgive people and resolve our differences in opinion! Kira, please don't kill for revenge. People die everyday, and we can't help it because of this terrible thing, this war! I want it to stop, and I know you do too. So please, don't kill anymore, because that will make you my enemy. Please! Kira!"
"You wouldn't kill me anyway," Raul le Kreuze said suddenly, not without difficulty because his oxygen supply was on the verge of being exhausted.
"Why wouldn't I kill you?" Kira shouted, loosening his hold on Kreuze slightly, although it still did not give the captain much air. "Why not? You bastard," he said coldly.
"Because," Kreuze gasped for air, "Fllay. I have her."
"Fllay?" Kira's eyes widened with shock. His irises began to shift back to their original color, and his face lost some of its tension. "Fllay? Why? How? How is it possible?" His arm slowly released the gagging ZAFT captain, but not so much that Kreuze could actually escape. Athrun raised his gun and pointed it at Kreuze, in case he thought of escaping.
"I don't care whether you believe it or not. But if you want to risk the life of you fellow, ah 'comrade', you can go ahead and kill me. It doesn't matter anyway. I've killed him already." He laughed. Kira couldn't believe it, the bastard had laughed, of all things.
"You … you… !" Kira felt the rage surge through him. All of a sudden his hands were on the captain's neck again; his body had acted of its own accord. Slowly, his arms started to squeeze and squeeze around that puny neck…
"Stop it Kira! It's not going to revive Major Fllaga!" Cagalli could not hold back any longer, the tears started flowing, and she couldn't stop. She didn't even know for what she was crying about. It was true that she was sad about Fllaga's death, but her emotions were much more raw. The tears came like the flood from the breakdown of a dam, a dam that was the mask she wore over her desires- the compilation of recent events were just too much: the constant reminder that she and Kira was siblings, the discovery that he may not be, the discovery that he was capable of killing without holding back, and most of all, the constant repression of an unrequited love.
Kira felt his body break down; he slumped onto the hard marble floor with his fists on the ground. The tears started flowing as well, silently at first, and then turning into loud sobs. "What will I say to Captain Ramiasu?" Kira said, gazing up at his friends. Cagalli felt an uncomfortable sensation rise in her chest at the sight of him. His face was so innocent and sad as tears streamed down his cheeks, making him look younger than he was. It was her Kira, her wonderful Kira, who was never decisive and never forward. Her brother, who was not really her brother after all. She let go of Athrun's hand and knelt down beside Kira, holding him as a mother would hold a child, and let him cry into her chest. Now he held her too, clingingly, as if he would never let go.
"Shhh…" Cagalli whispered, "Cry. Cry it all out. It's ok. It will be all ok."
Athrun watched them in a daze. It was like watching a movie, and he was just part of the audience, a detached being. It felt unrealistic, but then why was he still pointing the gun at Kreuze where Kira had left him on the ground? He didn't know what he felt anymore- jealousy, sadness, or anger. But above all there was the sudden loneliness that washed over his heart. There was a closeness between Cagalli and Kira that he had never experienced. Whenever he and Cagalli were together, Athrun only remembered Cagalli being on edge and acting like he was the mortal enemy, which he was, as a ZAFT soldier
Blond strands lay on top of soft brown, messy hair; hazel eyes complemented violet ones, and their tears sparkled and mingled together in the fluorescent light. It was like a painting, and the subjects were beautiful together. It felt like a hammer had hit him on the head- it was obvious right then and there who Cagalli loved. And it was not him. It was never him. /But then, why did it have to be Kira, my best friend? Why? My first love and my best friend/ His heart was heavy and sad, but he was also filled with rage/Kira doesn't even deserve her love! First he steals my fiancée and then Cagalli! He is a coordinator, not a natural, and he fights for the Earth Alliance instead of ZAFT, and then makes me out to be the wrong one. There's nothing wrong with being a good soldier for your country! But no- you had to come in and destroy everything I believed in, making me go against my father, making me forget Bloody Valentine… And even though I chose that path- became a good person, she still thinks you're better- even though you're just full of high ideals. Have you lived through betraying everything you hold dear/ More than ever, he wanted to walk right up to them and pry the two apart, punch Kira in the face, and then elope with Cagalli to someplace in the galaxy where the war couldn't touch. But that wasn't right. It wouldn't work. Athrun regretted his thoughts of self pity/I should be sad about Major Fllaga's death. But why is it I feel almost no sadness for him? I should feel ashamed of these feelings right now, but I don't. Is that wrong/
Fllay gaze out into space through the thick clear windows. Hoping, no- praying that he would be back soon, that man who was so cold yet she felt so close to. She closed her eyes and thought back to those happy times so long ago. Her memory of then was as clear as yesterday. "Papa…"
It's so angsty! (and far too melodramatic sigh) I love writing heart tortured angst, partly because it's easy to express and partly because it's funny as hell. I always thought of Athrun as more of a moping character. He's always the support character, and he's always being kicked back and chewed on by everyone else, just look at his conversations with Shinn in GSD, and the fact that he has to lie down low as Yuna tramples all over him in ORB. It's time for more human reactions here- Athrun must have some anger inside of him.