The warm sands of Tatooine shifted soundlessly, the blue moons hanging low overhead. Earlier the same day, the winds howled as the largest sand storm in nearly thirty years had blown the outskirts of the settlement mercilessly. For Obi-Wan it was more than just an atmosphereic anomally. It was memory frozen. Thirty years earlier he'd been here. Thirty years earlier a sand storm had forced his master into the home of "The Chosen One". The boy who would balance the force. And for this, Obi-Wan hated sand storms.
He knew now why Anakin had strayed so helplessly to the Dark Side. His magnified emotions, uncontrolled, unchecked, had led him to be manipulated. He was now beyond aid. To think that all this could have been avoided, all of it prevented, had Anakin not met Padme. Their intentions were pure, and yet the result had served to plunge the entire galaxy into darkness. And though Obi-Wan had discerned that it was emotion and love that had brought the Jedi to their knees, he found himself longing for a woman. Someone he knew that he had strong feelings for.
His mind slid back through time as the dunes in the distance moved and changed, and he saw her in the distance like a mirage. He saw everything play out like an old holograph, the events unchangeable. He longed to change them. Instead, he watched.
"Master, can we practice just a little longer?" Anakin asked as he levitated the book for a few seconds before it suddenly dropped back down onto the table. Obi-Wan sighed.
"No my padawan, I think that that is enough for today." He said as he rubbed his temples. He had to meet with the council in an hour and he felt that though Anakin was eager, his accuracy was waning. "Are there no other padawans you wish to see?"
"Can I continue practicing in my room?" he asked as Obi-Wan escorted him from the practice room.
"If you wish to do so." Obi-Wan replied, a small smile breaking over his face despite his weary mood. Anakin smiled at this but continued to follow his master. "Is there something else, Anakin?" he asked, knowing perfectly well the answer.
"Master, have you … have you seen Padme – I mean, Queen Amidala," Anakin quickly corrected at the sharp look Obi-Wan delivered, "lately? I remember you said that you would see her at a Jedi Elders meeting…" the ten year old trailed off, a pink tinge creeping up his neck.
"I merely spoke with her on politics." Obi-Wan said clearly, his pace quickening slightly.
"Oh." Anakin said in a slightly deflated tone. A few moments passed in silence when Obi-Wan sighed softly and came to a halt. Anakin had been practically jogging to keep up and skidded to a halt slightly in front of his Master.
"Anakin, you are a young boy. And you perhaps care for the Queen in a deeper sense than any Jedi is allowed to feel for another." Anakin looked down at his boot at his Master's accurate conclusion. "I do understand Anakin. However the council may not." At this Obi-Wan stooped slightly. "You must understand that when our feelings hold such sway over us, we may be taken advantage of. Made defenceless. Even corrupted." He took Anakin's shoulder. "You must learn to detach yourself if you wish to be a Jedi Knight."
"I will Master." Anakin said in what he must have thought was a stern voice. "Nothing will keep from becoming a Jedi." Obi-Wan nodded.
"You will be, then." They walked on in a companionable silence. When finally they came to Anakin's quarters, he hesitated. Obi-Wan smiled again before chuckling. "Something else?" Anakin turned and squinted up at his Master. Obi-Wan saw something reflecting in his eyes.
"You said you understand." Anakin said slowly. "How is that possible?" His Master stared down at him for what seemed like an eternity to each of them, as Obi-Wan scrutinized his apprentice, not sure whether to divulge the truth or lie to the prodigy child.
"Many moons ago, I too was a boy." He said, deciding to inject humour into his story. Anakin smirked at this. "And I too was quite taken with a young lady."
"Really?" Anakin asked, his eyes widening a little.
"Really." Obi-Wan chuckled. "Mind you, it was quite some time ago when last I saw her." For a moment, Anakin watched his master, and for the first time realized the humanity within him. It was disconcerting.
"Who was she?" Anakin pressed on.
"I think that that shall remain unknown for now." Obi-Wan said as three tiny padawans passed by, watching them openly. "I am late for a council meeting, and you are wasting time you could be practicing." Anakin accepted this, but Obi-Wan knew the question would return. "Goodnight, Anakin."
"Goodnight Master." He said before obediently entering his room. As soon as Obi-Wan was certain that he could feel Anakin using the force, he let out a breath. He'd not thought about her in years, and yet now that he'd been reminded of her so bluntly he was bombarded with images of her. The thing he remembered so vividly about her was her long waved blonde hair. He'd gone through a romantic spell in his youth; he'd thought of her hair as sunshine, spun into golden tresses reserved for only the purest of beings. Her hair had smelled most strangely of the fruit only found on a distant garden planet which also made him treasure every scent he'd inhaled when she fought him, leaned in near him, hugged him…
He suddenly felt like a hypocrite. He wiped her from his memory and walked quickly out of the padawan unit toward the main entrance of the Jedi Temple then to the council, where he spent the rest of the day trying hopelessly to erase Malena Seawicce from his mind.