"Oh sure, saving the world sounds easy enough unless you're the guy who keeps losing his pants!" Ron said, now fully clothed.
"What's our plan?" Lee asked.
Kim though for a moment. "Well, Mrs. Lipsky wants to take over the world by finding some mysterious treasure, right?"
"Right."
"And to find it she has to solve the riddle, which is her only clue."
"Yeah."
Ron, for one, did not understand where this was going.
"Hello? We already know this. Why are we wasting time reviewing the obvious?"
"What Kim means is that the easiest way to stop her is beat her at her own game. Find the treasure before Lipsky does."
"What was that riddle again?" The redhead had not paid much attention to the new villain. It had seemed so weirdly pathetic at the time. Besides, nobody actually carries out their desires anyway.
"Ooh! Ooh! I know it," Ron concentrated hard.
"Something about capitals, I think," Lee searched her memory.
"Almost got it…" the boy continued.
"And there was a key…" The princess strove.
"It's on the tip of my tongue…" he added.
"Got it!" She cried out triumphantly. "Great capitals hold the key."
"Yeah, that's…not even close to what I was thinking." Ron himself was not surprised.
"Great capitals hold the key," Kim murmured thoughtfully. "What do you suppose that means?"
"I was never good at riddles." Ron shrugged. "I'm more of a joke person. I mean, who doesn't like a good joke"
"Ron, head in the game, please!" his friend reprimanded sharply.
"Capitals- that could refer to places, like the capital of the country. Or resources," she mused.
"Well,"Lee tilted her head to one side. "Around here people like things to be simple. Gets annoying after about 18 years or so. Byzantine riddles aren't very complicated. That's what makes them hard."
"Excuse me?"
"When you see a riddle, you immediately start thinking in a million different directions. You think so much that you don't see that the answer is right in front of you in plain English, or plain Latin in some cases."
"Okay." Kim still did not fully understand what Lee meant. "Ron, what's the first thing you think of when you hear the word 'capital'?"
"Uh…uppercase letters, or cheese. I don't know why that word has a special connection with cheese."
"So do I," Lela agreed. "That is, uppercase letters. Not cheese."
"Doesn't capital come from a latin word?" Kim wondered.
"Yeah," the other girl was mildly surprised. "Capitalis. It can sometimes mean the first, or chief. How did you know?"
"Junior year Latin class, don't ask. So it has to do with uppercase letters and the first."
Ron had an idea. "It means G."
"What?"
"The first letter- which must be capitalized- is G."
"But that's so…so-"
"Simple." Lee grinned. "Good thinking, Stoppable."
"Thanks, Your Royalness."
Lee did not mind him addressing her improperly. That sort of thing would mean severe punishment according to the Imperial Code. But the princess had had enough of the stupid rules.
"G wasn't part of the ancient Latin alphabet," Kim though furiously.
"It wasn't?" Ron was dumbfounded.
"Didn't you take Latin too?" the princess questioned.
"Yes I did," he said defensively. "I just focused more on J.Lo and salsa eating"
Kim rolled her eyes.
"C stood for G and K. I don't get it," Lee said.
"Maybe somebody updated the riddle to make sense in modern times. Somebody who knew what it meant." The redhead thought back to the strange security guard on the HMS Constantine. He looked like he probably knew all the secrets Byzantium had to offer.
"In the newer alphabet, G is the seventh letter. So what is there seven of?"
Ron tapped his cranium intuitively. "Let's see, there are seven days in a week, seven hours in a school day, seven geese a-laying in that holiday song."
"That's seven swans a-swimming," Kim corrected. "Six geese a-laying."
"Concentrate, Kimbo! We're talking seven here, not six. Where was I? Oh yeah, seven radioactive materials in the cafeteria's mystery meat. Rufus counted once, he doesn't recommend doing so without an oxygen mask. Hey, there are seven princesses in the kingdom! What a coincidence."
"That's no coincidence," Lee said. "I think it really means 'seven capitals hold the key'- the seven capitals of our names!"
Kim typed in the first initial of each princess on her Kimmunicator (it can do anything, can't it?).
The three gathered around her handheld device.
Adriana, Alana, Saara, Isadora, Merisa, Lela, Natalia. The capitals were: A, A, S, I, M, L, N.
"It's like one of those word scramble thingies," Ron said. "This should be easy; we did these all the time in PreK!"
Kim nodded.
Ten minutes later…
"Anybody have a clue?" Lee asked dully.
"Nope." Kim blew a loose strand of hair back to its proper place.
They turned to Ron.
"Don't look at me. I haven't done this since I was four."
In the distance they saw a hovering vehicle zooming through the troposphere.
"Oh no! That must be Mrs. Lipsky. She's going back to the palace!"
Kim had a feeling the villain would not be thrilled to find all of her hostages missing.
"Come on, we have to stop her!" The teen hero reached into the flounces of her gown and pulled out two rocket packs.
Lee stared incredulously.
Kim shrugged. "You can fit a lot in a hoop skirt." She tossed one of the packs to Ron.
There was only one problem: they had one more person than anticipated.
The redhead opened her mouth to say something.
Lee beat her to it. "You two go stop that crazy woman. I'll go try to get my sister away from those deadly jellyfish."
"Are you sure?" Kim knew how much this meant to Lee.
"Positive. Nattie's more important than anything." The other girl handed her a blue helmet (which had also been inside the dress).
Team Possible-Stoppable blasted into the sky. The princess kicked off her stilettos and began racing -at an amazingly fast pace for being adorned in formal attire- towards the island coastline.
KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP
Martha Lipsky leaned back in her seat and lazily sipped a martini. Carelessly riding through the night to a palace full of people at her mercy, preparing the final steps in total world domination- now this was the good life she had been missing all these years. And it was all thanks to perfect little Kim Possible, who had shown her that Drewbie could use some help in the evil department.
Hold on, what was that figure coming towards her, the one with a rocket pack? For a distressed moment she thought it was Kim Possible. Thank goodness it was only the buffoon. The buffoon! That meant Kim had to be near. Martha grumbled a series of sounds that really did not make up any particular words. It was a habit she had passed on to her son.
KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP
Ron swooped in on the front end of the hoverjet as planned. Rather than getting up close and attacking the villain's aircraft, he stayed a few feet ahead. He did his best to pester the woman (all villains are short-tempered, as they had learned from many experiences), making faces and various other activities to distract her.
Meanwhile Kim sneaked up to the back of the hoverjet.
Mrs. Lipsky narrowed her eyes. Well, well, the buffoon wanted to give her trouble, eh? Two could play at that game. She pushed a button on the control panel that made the craft speed up suddenly.
Kim was caught unprepared when the additional rocket accelerators kicked in just inches away from her face. She turned on her own accelerators to keep up with the jet's faster pace.
Ron dodged by dropping down a few meters, then coming back up to the side of the jet. "Wow, you're fast!" he said. The villain could hear him through the window. She smirked.
"But not fast enough for Ron Stoppable!" He dove quickly.
As she lunged after him, he propelled back up. He was now directly above her.
"Nice try. Maybe you should take lessons from my Grandma!"
Mrs. Lipsky squeezed her martini in frustration. The glass shattered.
The redhead was talking to Wade through her Kimmunicator. "Are you sure there isn't anything you can do?" she asked a little worriedly.
"I'm sorry, Kim, but there's no way I can hack into the hover jet's control system. Lipsky really thought this one out." The super genius could hardly believe he was being outsmarted by Drakken's mother.
"I could try to mess with her landing coordinates"
"Go for it."
"But that would send her spiraling to the ground."
"Oh." They wanted to capture the villain, not seriously injure her.
"That leaves only one option."
"What's that?"
"Hope that Ron can distract her long enough for her fuel to run out."
That sparked Kim's imagination.
"Hmm, I wonder what's in here?" She pointed to to a small hatch on the back of the aircraft.
"Better find out!" She pulled the door open, letting slimy colorless contents spill out.
"Ewww!" She moved aside quickly.
The villain/sidekick chase continued for a full ten minutes. By the end Ron was fresh out of insults and Lipsky had still not even begun to think of worthy comebacks.
"Want some more, Drakken's mama?" He did some fake kung fu moves in mid-air. "Come and get it- if you're not too scared."
Mrs. Lipsky growled. She ran out of glasses to break five minutes ago. Before she could take action, she noticed her fuel supply was nearly drained. There was just enough for an emergency landing.
"Wade, what is this stuff?" Kim positioned her handheld gadget in full view of the thick goop running down the outside of the tank.
"Well, I need to do a scan to get the full info. My guess is that it's a super-charged substance used as fuel for complex vehicles. You didn't expect the villains to run on gasoline, did you?"
"Right now, I'd believe anything."
"The hoverjet should make an emergency landing any second. Should I send GJ for her?"
"Please and thank you."
Things were getting a little rough on the other side. "Martha Lipsky will NOT go down a loser!" She shook her fist at the blonde boy, then started charging at him in a mad rush.
Ron was caught off guard. "Whoa!" He tried to get out of the way, but 10 minutes of playing Scamper and Bitey in the air can really wear a person out.
"Ron!" Kim saved him just in time, leaving Mrs. Lipsky flabbergasted.
"Thanks, KP. The last thing I wanted to be was sky-kill."
"No big."
The hoverjet landed with barely any scratches. Lipsky got out.
"Aha! Now I have you right where I want you, Kimberly Ann. There's no place to hide," she said gleefully.
"Oh, I'm not hiding, but you might want to try it. Though I doubt you'll get very far."
"What do you mean? You're just a spunky teenager. I will soon be the all-powerful ruler of the known universe!" Possible was really grinding on the villain's nerves with her mind games.
"Hello? Dictators are so last season," Ron answered. "Everybody likes boy bands again."
At that exact moment a huge shadow was cast over the scene.
"What's happening?" Lipsky was more than a little alarmed.
Kim was happy to fill her in. "I suggest you look up right about…now!"
For some strange reason, the villain obeyed.
"Martha Lipsky, enter the portable prison with your hands up!" A Global Justice agent called through a megaphone as a rope ladder was sent from the plane/penitentiary.
"But, but I worked so hard!" She protested stubbornly. "It can't be over this easy! It just can't!"
"Too bad," Kim replied coolly. "It is."
"You'll learn to get over these things," Ron added in the same tone.
"Can we go home now?" he asked his friend as the plane sped away, ignoring Mrs. Lipsky's outburst ("You think you're all that but Drewbie and I know you're not!")
"Ron! We still have to find Lee, help save Princess Natalia, and figure out that riddle so the treasure can be saved for good."
"Oh, right." He couldn't help sounding a little disappointed.
Kim knew the feeling, but the mission was not over yet…
Trouble still looms near. That's all I'm saying. There will be at least two more chapters to the story. Really, I refuse to tell you any more right now. Can't promise any "happily ever afters". But that doesn't mean that it'scrossing over to the dark side. Seriously, that's the last straw! No spoilers for you.