A/N: I decided to take an idea from yamatoforever's review & put it into the story.. rather obviously, though. –u u;; But still: here ist the 2nd chapter. Danke for R&Ring ch1. And aki… mebbe (bwahahahahaha!) He's at least gonna take one of your suggestions! grins

Oh, & just a warning: It's dark.

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"You do WHAT?"

His eyes weren't sympathetic, or worrying. They had become unnaturally hard and cold. "That means you lied to me," he whispered, eyes narrowing.

"I didn't mean to!" Alfeegi insisted, yanking back his arm that was dripping with blood. "I'm sorry, Ruwalk." He choked. "I just can't help it. I… I don't know what's wrong with me. I've never seen anyone about it; they would send me to a psychiatrist—"

"You are sick," Ruwalk spat. "How anyone could do that, under any circumstances, is unknown to me." He turned to go, & Alfeegi cried out his name brokenly. Ruwalk turned slightly.

"And you always thought me the weak one," he hissed dangerously in a mean tone. He turned to go, motioning to several Dragon Fighters. "Take him away. He's…" --he smirked at Alfeegi, a cold smile that sent shivers of ice down his spine—"'sick.'"

Alfeegi yanked away from the suddenly thousands of hands that grabbed for him. "Ruwalk!" he screamed. But then he was gone, & there were only the millions of hands dragging him down into pitch darkness.

"Let go of me!" he yelled, attempting to hit one of them, anything. He could feel the hands, but they had blended into the black abyss that was swallowing him up.

He swam to the surface to breathe, and nearly choked.

"You little bastard!" came the familiar words, and Alfeegi felt a sharp sting on his back. He bit his lip not to cry out.

"You little worthless bastard!" came the snarling, then a rough gripping of thin shoulders, nearly cracking from the pressure. Don't cry, don't yell, but how long could he hold out for? Suddenly he was thrown against the wall. His mother looked up for a brief moment, then went back to nursing her baby daughter.

"Don't cause such noise inside," she said. "You'll disturb the baby."

Mother, Mother, don't you see? Don't you see what your husband is doing to me? Whack. "Get up, you worthless ass! Get outside! We'll finish this!"

"Mama, mama, look at what I did today in school!"

"Oh, that's lovely, honey."

Mother, Mother, why don't you care?

"Now, you little bastard," he cackled. Took another swig of alcohol, cheap and strong. "I'll beat your ass so hard, you won't know what hit you."

Every pain cut into him, and he had to cause his own against himself to keep from crying. His grandmother's grave was in sight. Why did she have to die? At least she had cared. But no one else cared for a bastard Dragon boy.

He was too tired. He lay down in bed and wished he were dead. He sobbed at the remembrance of little kids. He couldn't take the pain that others inflicted upon him, so he took a knife and hurt himself. He could control that. At least then he could realize that all the pain he got was because he deserved it. He deserved all of it.

He wrapped his arms around himself, and they were pinned behind his back. The room was blindingly white, and he was screaming.

"WHY? WHY DID YOU PUT ME IN HERE!"

Lykouleon shook his head. "Alfeegi, Alfeegi," he sighed. "You're just no good. I wonder…" He thought a moment. "Why were you even born?"

Why was I born, Mother? Why?

"No one cares for a bastard boy," Ruwalk smirked. "Not even me."

"You said you loved me," Alfeegi said, trying to steady his voice.

"Oh, I did?" Ruwalk looked surprised, then smirked. "I guess I'm pretty damn good at lying, hm?" He pushed Alfeegi back into the clawing darkness in a straightjacket. "You're sick, Alfeegi," he called down at him. "Sick, sick, sick. And I don't care for sick bastards who think they're worth anything." He turned away.

Alfeegi's wrists poured blood, and he began to drown.

He woke with a jolting start, his gasp nearly a small scream. He saw his bedroom, saw the light of the setting moon slanting across his walls, could hear nothing but the noise of night creatures.

He lay there in the darkness, covered his face with his hands, rolled over. And despite everything, no matter how much he hated it, hated himself for doing it, he began to sob and claw at himself. It had all seemed so real, so true. Ruwalk could never care about him if he told him about his childhood, how he once got caught cutting and was sent to the nurse's & they thought he was manic-depressive and they all saw the scars and blood and asked all the questions and then they thought "he's crazy"…

He descended deeper and deeper into that melancholy darkness, sobs lessening with exhaustion. He saw only broken skin where he had dug his nails into himself. He gave a shuddering sigh, and closed his eyes once more, wearily.

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Ruwalk lay awake, staring up at his ceiling, trying to make sense of what had occurred earlier. Originally, he had bought what Alfeegi said about being hurt in the storm. But now that he had had time to replay the incident, he wasn't too sure.

When he'd pointed out the unnatural death grip the Officer had on his arm, Alfeegi had given the sense that he didn't want Ruwalk to notice. That & his voice had been a little shaky… Ruwalk had thought it may have been because of the past occurrences, but now he was unsure. The White Officer very rarely let such things get to him; his insane sense of duty usually prevented that from happening.

Surely a storm wouldn't have…

Then again, Ruwalk had once again gone out & done stupid things. He didn't want to seem self-centered, but maybe Alfeegi had worried over him…? He didn't want hid boyfriend to worry, but it seemed that almost everything Ruwalk did caused him to do so.

And now that Kaistern was gone…

Ruwalk squeezed his eyes shut. He should've known that the house was on unstable ground. And yet he still thought it would be fine if Kaistern went in there.

And what had it all been for? One baby, that was all.

All? Ruwalk mentally berated himself for the thought. How could he even think that? Well, why hadn't the mother tried to save her child? Why did Kaistern go & risk his own life for people he didn't know, & now would never know—

The answer came clear, like a swift slap to the face. Because Kaistern was Kaistern. He, out of all of them, would know what it would be like to be living on a meager income, to be wandering around, hoping for a job at the next town he popped into. That house, in that area, was one of the now few places in Draqueen where such poverty still reigned.

No wonder the damned thing had collapsed.

Ruwalk moaned to himself, burying his head under his pillow. Dammit, I can't sleep, was the prominent thought in his mind; his brain wouldn't shut up and let him rest. Everything was driving him crazy.

I desperately need a drink.

Barely registering the decision as even remotely self-destructive, Ruwalk moved his achy body out of bed and over to the cabinet in one corner of his room. He flipped open a door, contemplating his choices. He didn't have much, since he barely had any time to drink anymore. This was partially due to his boyfriend. After the Incident which had eventually resulted in their "hooking up," Alfeegi had become an increasing alchohol-phobe. This cabinet was his emergency stash, but it hadn't been replenished for a while.

"Eh, what the hell," Ruwalk muttered to himself, drawing out a bottle of whiskey. He took a swig straight from the bottle. He shook his head to clear it. He wanted to stop thinking like this. He had to. It wasn't like him. People would start to constantly ask, "what's wrong?" That was always annoying as hell.

He hated dwelling on such thoughts. It wasn't what people thought of when they thought of Ruwalk. Not even Lykouleon, his best friend. Not even Alfeegi, who may be his lover, but they hadn't exactly confessed deep, dark secrets yet……

On the other hand, maybe they ought to.

Ruwalk stared down at the bottle. He'd never been one for deep talks. It had always kind of angered Lykouleon. There would be times when Lykouleon would be going through hard stuff in his own life, but Ruwalk tried to distract his friend's attention, rather than talking about it. It was just so awkward, and Ruwalk had never liked admitting he had a problem. He never liked laying bare his mind, his heart. It made him feel vulnerable. He'd already tried it a few times, and look what had happened.

The officer capped up the whisky. It wasn't helping. He felt a bit drowsy, but that was about it. "Damnit," he swore to himself.

Maybe he and Alfeegi should talk.