Title: Goodbye is the Saddest Word

Author: GEM

Feedback: Please send it good or bad written: 5/28/05

Rated: T

Word count:

Story Timeline: Pre- Mini

Category: Drama/Angst

Focus: The Adamas and Kara with some minor OFC's

Warnings: Character Death

Summary: We all react differently to the death of loved ones.

Spoiler: Slight Mini and Act of Contrition

Chapter 6: I Blame You

Lee arrived from the spaceport to find Majors Todd and Erin Myers watching out for his Mom. They were like a second family to Lee and he was very happy to see them.

Lee walked into the living room, after dropping his bags by the door. His mother was sitting on the couch talking in a hushed, emotionally spent tone with Erin. She looked to have aged one hundred years.

"Mom." Lee's tone was emotionally spent as well, but Caroline responded immediately to the sound of his voice. He crossed the room, as tears, once again began to flow from her eyes. She gathered him up into her arms, like she used to when his was a little boy.

"Ssh, Mom. I'm here now. He did his best to hide the tears coming from his eyes. He had to be strong for her. He helped her walk back to couch and sat down.

"I'm so glad you're here. I couldn't possibly get through this on my own." She said between small sobs.

Lee's heart broke, into a million pieces. "We will get through this together, Mom. You don't have to do it alone."

"I don't know what to do first, Lee. There's so much; I can't even look at his room or the pictures. The arrangements, Lee I'm not going to survive this.

Lee looked almost helplessly to Todd and Erin Myers. Todd gave a slight nod.

"We'll all be here for you Mom. We will take one thing at a time and get through it together. You will survive" The last part of the statement was strong. Lee was going to help her through this.

"Caroline." Erin came and sat on the other side of her. She was holding a glass of water and a couple of pills. "These will help you calm down. I know you don't want to take them but, you need to get some sleep."

A look of terror crossed her face. "Erin, I can't, every time I close my eyes I see his face." She began to shake and sob uncontrollably

"Mom, you have to sleep. I have to put my things upstairs. Why don't we go up and you can lay down? I'll stay up there with you."

Caroline finally gave in. Lee helped her up the stairs and Erin followed. Lee helped her to her room and Erin took it from there. "I'll be back Mom." He left the room and went back downstairs to collect his things.

"Lee." Todd Myers was still at the bottom of the stairs, "How are you holding up?"

"Not, so well, Sir. I have to be strong for her. I can't afford to show how I feel right now."

Todd handed him one bag and took the other. They went up the stairs to Lee's bedroom. Erin was waiting outside his door. Lee paused for a moment at the closed door beside his room He put his hand on the knob and began to turn it but stopped. "I can't do this."

Todd put a hand on his shoulder and Erin was next him in a heartbeat as his face fell. "You don't have to, Lee. You can wait. It doesn't have to happen now. " Erin put a hand on his back and guided him away for Zac's room and into his own.

Lee placed the bags down and began to unpack. Todd took his leave but Erin stayed to help. "Todd, has been with her most of the day and he can help you deal with the arrangements.

"I don't even want to think about it right now, Sir." Lee said as he crossed the room to hang his dress grays.

"Lee, drop the rank. We're not on duty. We're family."

Lee nodded in acknowledgement and sat down on the bed next to his "Aunt."

He looked at her with glassy eyes. "Is Lauren coming?"

"She's flying back with your Dad."

Lee flinched at the mention of his father. "I'm so mad at him. I could scream.

The grief that Lee felt for Zac was beginning to show quickly and it was mixed with anger. Erin knew that this would eventually happen. She placed a hand over Lee's and sat quietly and listened. This was his way of beginning his grieving process. Erin knew he wouldn't do it in front of Caroline.

"A man isn't a man, until he wears the wings of a viper pilot. That's all we used to hear. That's the reason Zac went to the academy and became an officer. He became a pilot because of Dad and he joined vipers because of Dad" Lee was beginning to loose it "Now, He's dead because of Dad!" Lee fell into Erin's arms and cried. Once he calmed down she began to speak to him, but was interrupted by a heartbreaking scream. Lee's emotional state was quickly forgotten as They jumped up and ran down the hall.

Lee ran to his mother's side ad gathered her into his arms. She was crying uncontrollably. "Mom, Mom breathe. Take a deep breath. I'm here. I'm right here. It's going to be alright." He rubbed her back to try and calm her but the tears just kept coming

"Lee…Lee " The tears kept coming

"It was just a dream. It was just a dream. I'm here now." Lee said calmly. Todd and Erin took their leave. Lee held her until she cried herself back to sleep and stayed with her for a while. 'We wouldn't be in this hell, if it weren't for Dad pushing Zac to fly. He should have never been in that plane.'

A/N; Feedback: Good or Bad is Welcome please if you read submit a comment. They help me continue to write. :)