Title: Goodbye is the Saddest Word

Author: GEM

Feedback: Please send it good or bad written: 5/30/05

Rated: T

Word count:

Story Timeline: Pre- Mini

Category: Drama/Angst

Focus: The Adamas and Kara with some minor OFC's

Warnings: Character Death

Summary: We all react differently to the death of loved ones.

Spoiler: Slight Mini and Act of Contrition

Chapter 8: Face to Face

Bill followed the Lieutenant into the base commander's office "Commander."

"Yes, Lieutenant." The Commander asked, not looking up from his paperwork.

"Commander Adama, to see you sir."

The Commander looked up and took off his glasses. "Thank you, Wester that will be all. The young sandy haired Lieutenant stood at attention and saluted both officers before leaving the room.

Commander Robert Forester walked over to Bill Adama. "I wish this meeting could be under better circumstances Bill."

"So do I." The men shook hands and Forester gestured to the seat in front of his desk. "Please." Adama obliged and Forester sat back behind his desk.

"I want to extend my condolences personally Bill, not just as a friend but as Zac's commanding officer. "He was a fine officer and Pilot. He will be truly missed."

"Thank You, Rob. Has there been any determination as to the cause."

"Bill, you know that these things take time."

"Don't Frak with me, Rob. We've known each other too long. You were out there you saw the crash sight any feeling for what happened."

"You're just trying to get yourself worked up Bill. Please don't do this to yourself.

HE WAS MY SON! Adama's emotions got the better of him. Rob just let him go he knew what it was like to lose someone like this.

Bill took a deep breath and spoke almost in a whisper. "I'm Sorry I didn't mean… He was my son; I just don't understand how this could happen.

"No need to apologize, I completely understand. My honest opinion is that it was either mechanical failure or just a plain accident. We won't know right away."

Adama nodded. " I guess we have to start making arrangements then.

"I've talked to someone at affairs they are taking care of it. I'll need your signature on a couple of release document and the address of the funeral home. I didn't want to bother Caroline with this." He handed the papers to Bill

"As well, you shouldn't." Adam said as he read and signed the release papers.

Forester collected the completed paper and looked up to his old friend. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" Both men stood up, "I don't think so Rob, Thanks for everything.."

Anytime Bill. I'm sorry I had to be under these circumstances. They walked to the door. "Actually Rob, there is one thing.

"Name it."

"Where might I find a Lieutenant Kara Thrace?"

Rob's eyes lit up. "Now there is one hell of a pilot and instructor. I could see why you'd want to meet her. She should be around Hanger C -maintenance She came in from a training run about an hour ago.

"Thanks, Rob."

----

Once he put his things in temporary housing and called Lauren to tell her about the arrangements for Zac He made his way to the training facilities on the base. He approached a group of maintenance specialists outside of Hanger C. "Excuse me, Specialist.

The young enlisted saluted. "Yes, Sir."

He saluted back. "At ease Specialist. Do you know where I might find Lieutenant Thrace?"

Yes, Sir. She right over there Sir, by the Raptor.

Adama could see a young woman with short blonde hair speaking with a member of the base's ground crew as they were working on a raptor as well as another office that may have been another instructor. "Thank You." He replied as he made his way over to the area.

She glanced over her shoulder as she continued to talk to the ground crew member about the status of the Raptor, that's when she first saw him. He was a spiting image of the man she was silently grieving over. He was also her worst nightmare. 'Not now, not today, please, gods. I'm not ready to face this.' He was getting closer as the person next to her continued to talk. "Can we continue with this later?"

"Of Course, Starbuck." He saluted and she saluted back and then as he turned to leave, he turned back to her. "Looks, like you've got company."

She didn't say anything as the other officer walked away. She just thought to herself 'Yeah, I noticed that, thanks.' She didn't turn and face him until she heard her name. His voice was deep and calm much like Zac's. She closed her eyes for a few seconds then opened them again, turned and to the officer. He saluted and she saluted back.

"Are you Lieutenant Thrace?"

"Yes, Sir." She replied in what he would consider a shaky voice. Her voice was not shaky with nerves but with something else.

He looked at her. "I'm commander Adama, Zac's father.

"I know Sir, I'm sorry, Sir. I was going to come see you tomorrow after the funereal

"No need to apologize. " Adama gave her a slight smile. "Walk with me Lieutenant." He had to get to know her, if his gut feeling about the letter was right he owed Zac that much.

They walked away from the Raptor they were standing next to on an impromptu tour of the training base. "Zac told me you were an amazing instructor. He wanted my to come to the graduation to see him get his wings."

"I know I read the letter." Her tone was even but her body language told a different story.

"Then perhaps you can tell what he was hinting at. A surprise, about you." They stopped walking Kara turned to him and then quickly looked at the ground and back again. It appeared she was gathering her thoughts. "It's not important… It'll just…" She stopped mid-sentence thinking about her next statement.

Adama didn't give her a chance to complete the sentence. "You were engaged, right?"

Kara couldn't look at him. "Yes." Was her reply if you could call her whisper a reply? Adama thought that she might have been ashamed to tell him about the relationship that she had with his son.

"Don't be ashamed of that Lieutenant." Adama said. Looking at the officer next to him. The brave face that she was wearing before had long since crumbled but she still hadn't shed a tear.

"Kara." She looked up at him, again holding back tears. "My name is Kara. If it's not to far out of line for to ah…"

"No, I don't think that is too far out of line."

They stopped for a moment and found a secluded place to sit for a few moments. "I'm not much for military regulations but you probably already guessed that."

Adama was smiling on the inside. Zac had done well and he was right. He did like this girl. He could see why Zac liked her too. She was feisty and had a great sense of humor.

"I can see that, Kara. Lords knows I don't like them all either but don't tell anyone."

Kara gave him a smile. She really did like him. Zac was right. They continued to talk about her time at the academy, Zac and even Lee whom Adama was surprise was close to Kara as well. They finally began to walk towards the temporary housing were Adama was staying. While walking he noticed that she seemed to be putting up a brave face once again. He extended a hand to stop her from walking for a moment.

"Kara, you know it's alright to grieve from him. It's all right to be sad, to cry, to be angry. Whatever you're feeling let it out. If you hold it in it will only eat at you.

Kara looked him in the eyes as much as looking in those eyes that were so much like Zac's she had to explain this to him. "I'm only his flight instructor.

The realization hit him hard. "I know Kara, but that is when you're on duty. When you're not, when you're with me, you're his fiancé first and Commanding Officer later. Is that understood Lieutenant?"

She was fighting a battle inside herself. She didn't have any family to speak of and she was grieving on her own. Would it be appropriate for her to except what Zac's father was offering? He was a superior officer, would it be okay to do this?

She only nodded in acknowledgement of his statement "Commander"

Adama looked her straight in the eye. It was an unnerving experience as if he was looking into her very soul "Yes, Lieutenant."

"I just wanted you to know that I do grieve for him. Zac and I… Well are relationship wasn't exactly in line with the regulations. Although as I said I was never much for the regs, my call sign is "Starbuck." You can use your imagination. I've never been one to keep my mouth shut or my hands to myself. I live outside of the box."

Adama put a hand up for her to stop and she did. "I've heard all about you, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I used to know an officer or two just like you. One day I'll tell you about them. "

"I will never be ashamed of what Zac and I had. I love him and I always will. I grieve in my on way and during my own time. Don't think I don't because I do.

Adama put a hand on her shoulder "You don't have to face this alone Kara. We can face it together. I'll come get you in the morning. We will do this together."

Kara was lost now she really didn't want to cry in front of this man but she had all she could do to keep it together. She only responded with a nod. Adama stayed a moment until she composed herself " I have to get back."

"I am sure you do. I have to see to a few things myself. I'll see you in the morning Lieutenant. If you need anything don't hesitate to come and find me."

Kara wiped away a stray tear, straightened her uniform, and saluted "Yes, Sir." He returned the salute and gave her a small smile and they went their separate

ways.