This is very crude humor and it has to be, by far, the strangest thing I have ever written.

Disclaimer: Nothing.

-Undisclosed-

Somethings in life should always remain undisclosed. Sometimes it is because it's a private matter, too painful to bear, or just simply because it is excessively embarrassing to deal with openly.

No matter what the reasoning, a certain Kon, Rei knew that minor details of his life should be left in the dark.

Spring-cleaning was such a tedious task.

Takao's dojo needed a good clean up and the man in charge of orchestrating their jobs and dividing up the chores was none other than…Rei. He sent the actual resident to tidy up his room, which was now by far the biggest challenge. The perky blonde washed all the glass in the house as he bounced around with his disk man playing tunes into his ears, oblivious to everything.

He assigned the sweeping to their captain, who merely glared and grabbed the broom shoved in his direction. Rei, himself ran around the house dusting with his little, tiger striped feather duster. Where he had acquired such an article was a mystery in itself. At least he was not prancing around in the matching outfit, actually enjoying the work they had to do.

Rei was humming a random tune off the tip of his tongue, in the living room and Kai stepped walked in a little later, with his broom grudgingly dragging behind him. It was quiet as he did his part of the orders, until the Chinese, who had found the stereo, decided to turn it on.

He then lost himself in a song resonating from the speakers and continued brushing away all the dirt from the entertainment center. At first, only his feather duster moved along with the rhythm from a stroke of his wrist. Then, the vibe followed down his bronzed arm and towards the other side. His whole upper body began dancing and the beat did not stop until it reached his hips.

That is when Kai realized he could not take his eyes off the swaying. He had tried to ignore the spur of the moment…erm, moment but failed miserably. It was not his fault there was such a tempting derriere moving back and forth, to and fro; here and there…

He lost himself for a long, long while.

If this was a dazed trance, Kai enjoyed it but it was nowhere near as pleasuring as the thoughts of Rei and his backside. The two just went well together, like sake and a bed. It worked, as he was supposed to be doing. He blinked and shook his head, dismissing the lecherous, perverted, yearning; lustful…you get the point.

His thoughts cleared and the dirt on the ground became his concentration.

All he had to do was sweep it into the dustpan.

After, he glanced at Rei again.

Who was…

Who was…

Bending over!

If there had been any blood left in his skull, it would have leaked out his nose by now. Fortunately, it all headed in a different direction and the direction of the bathroom was a tempting thought for Kai.

However, he wanted to look again, and again and stare for the while it lasted. Then, something caught his attention. A ruby orb seemed to notice something unusual. There was never a black line in Rei's blue pants before. Just above his butt, he could see this ebony rim.

It must be his boxers; he assumed, naturally and enjoyed the view.

Someone up there must have favored the young Hiwatari that day. For every cloud in the sky, he said a thank you and kept his gaze fixed on Rei's ass as his pants, so baggy and loose on him slipped lower…and lower…

And past that coal colored line… of boxe-

Why in the world was Rei wearing a thong?

Blinking did him no good. It was obvious, like a black splotch on an ivory sheet. They were not boxers or briefs, hell, it might have even been a g-string but there it was, in plain sight and…up Rei's ass.

Kai tried resisting every sinful urge in his body but like before, he was unsuccessful. His broom fell to the floor and clattered as his footsteps led him to the boy in question. Rei had been naïve to the noises that the music drowned out until he felt a warm presence against his back.

Rei froze as he realized how intimately Kai was standing with him. His breathing hitched deep within his throat. He could not even speak. Hot breaths tickled his neck and the fine strands of raven hair stood up. He felt another warm push into his backside and his mouth was agape but not a syllable past his lips.

That is when he felt a hand rest upon his hip but it did not remain for long. Slowly, it traveled up to his side, where his pants hung low on his waistline and tickled the sun kissed flesh with his index. The nail grazed further along the skin and stopped against his spinal cord ending into his tailbone.

Kai smirked and when Rei least expected it, his whole hand grabbed the forbidden material and…

…pulled on it.

There was a scream that even Max heard through his own music and made Takao dash down the hall to the living room with the blonde in toe. The next thing they knew, Kai bolted past them and for the first time, he was the one running away.

Running far, far away.

-EndE-

Well…?