Title: Goodbye is the Saddest Word

Author: GEM

Feedback: Please send it good or bad written: 5/30/05

Rated: T

Word count: 986

Story Timeline: Pre- Mini

Category: Drama/Angst

Focus: The Adamas and Kara with some minor OFC's

Warnings: Character Death

Summary: We all react differently to the death of loved ones.

Spoiler: Slight Mini and Act of Contrition

Chapter 9: Broken Hearts

When Bill arrived at the house things began to seem more real. Zac was gone this was no longer a dream. He knew Caroline would be heart broken but he couldn't stand not to do anything. To leave her alone, he had to do something to help her work through the pain. This is something they had to do together. He would not fight with her but he needed to do this.

He knocked lightly of the door moments later Erin Myers answered the door. "Hello, Bill How are you holding up?"

"I'm here, that's really all I can say." Erin could tell he was tiered she gave him a sympathetic smile as the walked through the hall to the dinning room

"How is she?"

"She broken Bill but she's surviving. She asked for you after Lee left. I'm glad you stopped."

"Lee's pretty pissed at me isn't he?" Bill asked already knowing the answer.

"He'll get over it. Give him time." They walked into the dinning room "Try not to get her to worked up."

Bill gave Erin a side glance "I'll try. I'm actual surprise she said she would see me." Bill walked up to Caroline and put a hand on her shoulder. She took his hand and began to cry. He knelt down next to her and gathered her in his arms.

"Oh, Bill. He's gone. He's never coming home." She wept into his chest and for the first time since he arrived home Bill allowed himself to cry for his son.

After a while Caroline calmed down and worked her way out of Bill's embrace. She wiped her new tears away and began to speak. "I didn't think I could face you."

Bill sat in the chair next to hers. "I didn't think I could face you. Caroline, you must hate me. I took him away from you…from us."

"I did blame you for a while." Caroline stated "But then I thought about Zac, this was truly what he wanted to do. When we were together we pushed both of the boys to do their best and follow their dreams. That's what Zac did. I was an accident. I don't hate you.

"I don't want to start fighting with you. All I want to do is help with whatever I can."

The Military Liaison office called all the paperwork was in order Lee went to take care of it and the proper military protocol and such.

"I took care of the paperwork this morning."

"I still have to clean out his thing here. Lee took care of the stuff in the on base housing. "

"We don't have to worry about that right away, Carol."

Bill watched as the color began to drain from her face. She was beginning to lose it again. "How can you be so calm! Our… my baby is gone and you're treating it like some kind of military exercise.

Bill's emotions were beginning to get the best of him 'Calm down, don't get her worked up.' He told himself. 'Too late.' He thought 'You've got lousy timing.'

"He was my son too Caroline!" His statement was firm and calm. This didn't need to get anymore out of hand. They were both grieving in their own way. He needed to stop this before it ended up in a fight. He began to walk away.

"I want him back, Bill." That statement stopped William Adama cold.

He turned back to his ex-wife. "Don't you think I want that too? What I wouldn't give, Caroline. What I wouldn't give to do it all over again so we… you wouldn't have to go through this.

Caroline got up quickly "I can't have this conversation now. Thank you for offering but we'll be fine." She exited the room leaving him alone.

Todd and Erin must have heard the outburst because they were both there within minutes Erin went to the kitchen to see to Caroline and Todd went up to his friend

"Husher"

Adama looked up at his old friend "Hey, Blackjack, What'd you hear?"

Todd smiled

"I don't want her to do this alone."

"She's not we're all helping. She talked to Lee today after speaking to the Funeral home. That Son of yours is amazing. He's holding up but I think it would help out if you could finish the arrangements with the home. Lee is taking care of most of the military protocol and such. Caroline is in no condition to finish and frankly I think Lee is about ready to collapse. The only thing I know for sure is that the lead of the honor guard is out of commission.

Bill looked up at his friend "What about Lauren? Do you think she would be willing?

Todd smiled "I'll take care of it. You take care of the other arrangements."

Adama nodded as the two friends walked to the door. "They'll both love this."

"It'll be fine they have already put in the request just see it through.

"Will do."

"What do you tell my son and his mother? I don't know if you've really talked to my ex-wife but it seems I'm not too popular with my son at the moment."

Todd gave a sad half smile. "Don't worry Hush, I got your back."

A/N: A big thank you to all my reviewers. If you've gone this far please remember to Review. :)