Title: Goodbye is the Saddest Word

Author: GEM

Feedback: Please send it good or bad written: 61/05

Rated: T

Word count:

Story Timeline: Pre- Mini

Category: Drama/Angst

Focus: The Adamas and Kara with some minor OFC's

Warnings: Character Death

Summary: We all react differently to the death of loved ones.

Spoiler: Slight Mini and Act of Contrition

Please read and review. Thanks to all those who have reviewed. :)

Chapter 11: Strength to Move On

The Knock on the door was a welcomed diversion from Kara's personal Hell. She couldn't take it anymore she didn't have the strength to move on He meant too much to her. She wiped the tears from her eyes as she pushed herself up off the floor. She put her robe on over her sleeping attire and answered the door. The visitor was not who she expected at least not this early in the morning. "Commander Adama, Sir."

"Morning Kara. How are you holding up?"

Kara answered with an uncharacteristic shrug and then walked away from her door. Adama followed.

Kara disappeared for a few moments as Bill looked around. It was not at all what he had expected. He knew she wasn't much for regulations but what he saw disturbed him greatly. She had not been taking care of her place or herself from what he could tell. Her uniforms and other clothing articles were thrown all over the space as well as empty alcohol bottles; tissues and picture were thrown around as well.

Kara reappear wearing the same thing she was when she answered the door and in the same mood although he did thing that he presents would change that. "So, he began… I couldn't sleep. I figured maybe you couldn't either and took a chance that you might be looking for someone to talk to. Looks like I guessed about right." Adama looked her in the eye. It was the first time since he'd met her that he noticed the red, puffiness and dark circles under her eyes. She'd been crying and it certainly looked like she hadn't slept in month. 'Loosing a loved one will do that to you.' He thought.

"I'm sorry for the appearance I really wasn't expecting you, Commander." Kara voice was small much like that of a little girl who had just gotten yelled at by a parent. She slid to the floor in front of her couch.

Adama stepped up next to her "May I?" he asked gesturing to the floor.

"Certainly, if you'd like, Sir."

Adama sat down on the floor next to her. "First off, can we cut the Commander and Sir crap? I'm really not up for it today. Call me Bill."

Kara gave him a sad look of acknowledgement. He took her hand and she looked at him again. "He wouldn't want you to do this to yourself." He stated gently looking around the living area at the bottle thrown on the floor and other disarray.

She began to shake. She really didn't want to breakdown in front of this man she hardly knew but he body had other ideas. The shaking got worse and the tears began to follow like a river from her eyes. "It's the only way I can at least numb the pain I'm feeling."

Adama gathered her up in his arms as she wept for Zac and he allowed himself to also morn for his son. Wiping the small tears away "I can tell you from experience that it not all it's cracked up to be. I really doesn't help much

"I know that now. I don't want to forget but I can't move on. " Kara was silent for a moment and then looked into Bill's eyes. "We make a great team, don't we?"

"Yeah, we sure do. " Adama said as he got up off the floor and offered Kara a hand. "Come on Kara."

Kara took his hand and stood up. "I'm not sure I can do this. I've been like this since the accident. . When I'm on duty I just go through the motions and when I come home… I half expect him to come to the door when I walk in and tell me it was a joke. I know now that that won't happen and I don't think I can face this."

Bill squeezed her hand. "I told you before and I'll tell you again. you're not doing it alone. I don't think I can get through it either but you know what I will. That's what happens life goes on. I know my Son, Kara Thrace and he wouldn't want you or I to do this to ourselves."

For this first time in days, Kara cracked a half smile.

"What?" Bill asked watching her expression

"He's probably laughing at us right now."

"Yeah, probably." Adama smiled

"Would you look at that?" Kara said in amazement "08:00"

"Time flies. We should get going." Adama stood up and extended a hand to Kara. Go on get ready.

Kara flinched a little she hadn't really thought much about what would happen when the time came. Bill must have noticed because he began to speak again those words that he had spoken so many times in the short time since they'd met.

"Kara, We'll face it together. I know you can't show it outwardly because of the status of your relationship but don't be afraid to if you need to. You'll be okay.

Kara nodded and went into the bedroom to get ready leaving Bill alone with his thoughts.

'She's so fragile, Zac. She needs you so much. Why do you do this to her…to all of us? I have to help her get through this. She so self-destructive and I don't want to leave her alone. She needs a family'. Adama was brought back to reality when Kara came back into the living room.

"I'm ready…" Her voice was like a frightened little girl again.

Bill went up to her and took her hand. "Today isn't the end Kara you will always be a part of this family. Do you understand?"

Kara squeezed his hand in silent response as they walked out the door together.