Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers

Fluffy Shounen Ai. Rated R for context only. Possibly some lime/lemon later on.

My standard WARNING: Once again, if boy + boy ain't your thing, don't read any further. I am well aware that I am defying some people 's fate and according to them I will burn in hell for writing this smut. Anyone is welcome to review this story, and I will accept criticism on my writing style, plot or grammar and spelling mistakes. However I will ritually curse you if you flame me because of the story's context. You have been propperly warned.

/.../ means thoughts

POV: Zelgadis

Please review, I would like to get a little feedback before I continue.

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Chapter 1: The old fortune teller.

The air was dusty in the small shop. Shelves from just above the floor up untill right under the ceiling were filled with flasks, jars and old pots. An old woman came into the room and saw the young chimera stand at the wooden counter. "What will it be for you, boy?" she asked.

Zelgadis looked at the wrinkled face of this famous fortune teller, who had been said to be a prophet. He knew it was her. Usually, he wouldn't let people call him boy, but since he really hoped she could help him, he let her, realising he must look very young to her. Apparently she wasn't surprised by his looks. She must have known what he was.

He decided to ask directly what he had come for. "I have heard of your famous cure potions, and I wonder if you could cure me,... make me a human again."

The yogensha looked him in the eyes. She seemed to reflect upon something for a few seconds, and then answered, "Why do you want to be human?"

Zelgadis was shocked.

/Isn't that obvious? I'm hideous! I'm a chimera/

The old lady seemed to wait for an answer.

"I was born as a human and turned into a chimera by Rezo, the evil priest."

"Why did he do that to you?" she asked.

"As I said, he was evil. I told him I wanted to become a strong warrior. He said he would grant my wish and changed my body into this. I was tricked."

"Yes, you were." The old woman gave him an understanding smile, but Zel wasn't happy with her answer.

"Can You cure me?" He asked boldly.

"No" she replied without hezitation.

"Then I have been wasting my time here." Zelgadis turned around to walk to the door and leave this weird yogensha.

"Wait" she said, "I can't cure you because you need to cure yourself."

Zelgadis looked at the old woman's face and frowned.

"What do you mean"
"I am a wise yogensha, I may sell potions and herbs, bus what I mostly do is give advice."

"So, you're a fortune teller?"

"Amongst other things"

Zel looked at her, waiting. Maybe he didn't come here for nothing after all. The yogensha smiled, and looked at him with an intense gaze. Zel got the feeling she could look inside his mind. She seemed to think deeply. Then she asked, "Who sent you here?"

"A friend", Zel replied without thinking.

/No, he's definitely not a friend./

"Tell me about your friend"

Zel grumbled. "Actually he's not really a friend, he's a mazoku"

"A mazoku? What's his name?"

"Xellos"

"What is he like?"

/Why does she keep on asking stupid questions. This has nothing to do with what I came for./

"He's a very annoying guy, that's what he's like. He allways pushes me around, gives us false leads... I should have known you couldn't help me."

"You just said us, who is us?"

Zel sighed.

/How long is this going to take? She's probably just asking me out because she doesn't want to admit she can't help me./

"You're not hezitating to tell me who your friends are, do you?"

"No" Zel said irritated.

"Then tell me" she incited.

/Nosy old shrew/

"I travel with a group. We save the world on a daily basis. There's Lina, she's a powerfull sorceress with a nasty attitude. There's Gourry, a swordsman, he's sort of Lina's protector. And then there is Amelia, the princess of Seillune who is skilled with white magic. Sometimes other people join us for a while but these three are allways there. Xellos, the Mazoku often follows us. He likes to pop out of nowhere whenever it suits him. He may be considered a part of the group, though he occasionally betrayes us."

The yogensha had listened very carefully to Zelgadis' words, so thoughtfully looking at him that he somehow felt a little violated. She was silent for a few seconds,then narrowed her eyes. "They seem like an interesting bunch of people, why do you travel with them?"

/Were you paying attention just now/

"Because I want to become human again."

/duh/

She suddenly had a vague smile on her face. Zelgadis somehow couldn't stand looking in her eyes. His eyes cast down he stared at the floor times, as if he had a sudden interest in the dull grey tiles.

"Do they help you?"

Zel hezitated. "Not really, they -"

"So", the old woman interrupted "If they don't help you, why do you stay with them?"

/Kuso, she 's got me there/

Zel paused for a second, then replied: "Because they are my friends."

"So you care for them?"

"Yes" Zel answered.

/It is true, I do care for them. But I'm getting this weird feeling she's tricking me somehow. She is going to make me say things I don't want to say./

The old woman had a big smile on her face as she lectured. "Your friends mean a lot to you, even more than you're admitting. You have a hard time dealing with this because your need to be with your friends had become greater than your quest for a cure. Love conquers everything. In your case it means you have overgrown your selfishness. This is very important."

/Did she just say love/

Zel gazed at the yogensha as she continued her speech: "Why does this frighten you?"

"Eh?" Zel's mouth suddenly felt very dry. "It...doesn't..."

/I don't love. I'm a chimera, a monster, and I dont love anyone. I don't./

The yogensha suddenly raised an eyebrow. "Who do you care for the most?""

Zels mouth fell open. "What?...I...I.."

/I ... I don't...love...do I/

She smiled and looked in his eyes, so intensly he started blushing and instinctively turned his face away from the yogensha, wich off course betrayed him even more.

/Dont think, dont think, she's reading my mind/

"You still haven't answered me" she said slowly, "who do you care for the most?"

"You allready know", Zel stammered, he still couldn't look at her, his cheeks were burning.

"True", she admitted "but I want to hear it from you", She still smiled "Please tell me, Zelgadis"

Zels completely froze as he realized he hadn't told the Yogensha his name.

/She really reads my mind! She knows everything! Why does she torture me like this if she allready knows everything/

In the silence, the tension became stronger. Zel felt like running away, but found himself unable to move.

"Who do you love?"

With a trembling voice he finally gave in. "G... Gourry"

Silence fell over the yogensha's shop.

Zelgadis felt as if an enourmous weight just fell off his shoulders. He felt relieved somehow. After all this time, he had never told anyone how he felt about Gourry. At the same time a dark cloud of insecurity enteren his mind. He had never admitted his feelings to anyone, not even himself, but now, now that he had said it outloud, he couldn't go back to denial.He had fooled himself, made himself believe he could not possibly love anyone, refusing to give in to the burning feeling inside. But now it was there. And Zelgadis knew it wouldn't go away anymore. All the memories of the nights he had secretly craved for the swordsman's touch, had come back, as painfull reality broke through. He remembered the times he had looked at Gourry's lips and desperately wished he could kiss them.

Zelgadis was silent, thoughts rolling through his mind. The yogensha waited, giving him time to think.

/I love Gourry. The very idea seemes strange even to me, but I think I've been in love with him since I met him. But how can I ever expect him to even like me? How can this ever be more than a painfull platonic one-side love/

"Why", he suddenly asked outloud "Why did you make me say this?"

The old woman looked at him with a serious face "Knowing yourself is the first step toward happines. You can't live in denial forever."

/Happiness? Does she even know what she's talking about? How does the fact that I love Gourry make me happy if he doesn't feel that way about me? Instead of helping me, she just made things worse/
He bit his lip. He notice she was giving him that intense glare again.

/she's reading my mind again./

He didn't seem to care much anymore now that his deepest secret had already been revealed.

"Do you think he doesn't like you?" she asked.

Zel waited a few seconds before he replied "I think he likes girls, I think he likes... Lina. There's a lot of things going on between them." He sighed."But me,... I mean look at me... I'm not even a man."

The old woman looked compassionately at his sad face. "So", she asked, "Is that why you want to become human again?"

Zel nodded slowly, opened his mouth to say something, wavered, and then resignedly sighed "I guess I'd do anything."

He thought he saw a twinkle in her eye.

"Anything?", she asked, "Then maybe I can help you."

/you have my undivided attention. Go on./

"It may be an unnatural way to make him feel attracted to you, but the awakened love will be real."

Zels eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I can make a lovepotion for you. Interested?"

Zel nervously bit his lip and looked in her eyes. "Maybe."

/What's the catch old lady/

She smiled an nodded. "I'll need some of your essence, a lock of your hair will do. And off course you 'll have to pay me."

She started to rummage behind the counter, seemingly looking for something.

"Hey, wait a minute I said maybe."

She looked up. "Okay, do you want the potion yes or no?"

Zel hezitated. "How does it work? I mean what should I do?"

The yogensha sighed. "I could show you the list of ingredients but I really can't risk exposing my business, you understand, right? It's a potion of enchantment, and the recipe has been in my family for centuries. The lock of hair is needed to direct the potion to someone. If, for example, you were to drink a potion of enchantment without someone elses essence in it,the potion can only amplify the feelings that are allready there. So, on itself it can't make you fall in love with someone new. But, if I were to put some of my hair in the melange, when you drink it, you 'll fall in love with me."

She smiled wickedly. Zel looked precarious.

/Note to self: Do not accept drinks from weird old women, ever./

"The person that drinks the potion will experience true love, and so far I haven't found a way to cancel the spell, so it's needless to say you need to be very carefull with it. Only a few droplets are enough to awaken new love. Although the more a person drinks the faster and deeper the feelings will grow. But it's best to start with a small dose. That way it will seem more natural to the enchanted person, and to the people who know him or her... You got all that?"

"yes, I understand"

"Good. Well then, as for payment, the potion is so expensive you probably won't be able to pay for it, but I'll show my good heart today. I suppose you've got some nice gems in there right?" she pointed at his beltpouch.

Zel sweatdropped and looked at his bag with currency. "I do have a couple of small emeralds, a cut sapphire, four amethysts, and some goldpieces"

"You forgot to mention the nice ruby you got." she looked in his eyes to see if he forgot it on purpose.

"right..." Zel sighed.

/I guess there really is nothing she does not see./

"Okay, I'll just take your beltpouch then. Do we have a deal?"

Zelgadis closed his eyes, took a deep breath and said: "Allright. Brew me the potion."

- - - - - - - - to be conitnued