Hey everyone, and a special hello for Nobody writes this crap dbox, you are most dedixated reader. WE LOVE YOU! You can have any yu-gi-oh character you want, apart from kaiba, cos he's mine, malik, cos he's adele's, and Dukey, because I like torturing hi (namely hiding his shampoo!)

Yugi:Claudia, shouldn't you be apologiseing about the late update?

Yugi? how did you get here? Your not even in this fic! But anyway, a HUGE SOZ for being so late + I have had big end of year exams, but now am on hols, so will try to update every week. Read on Macduff!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh, YET. one day I will hire some assasins, and murder and bribe my way to the TOP, MWAHAHAHAHAHA. Hum, sorry about that. I'm sugar high.

000000000000000000000000000

"Nothing." Malik and Lilita said, at the same time. Yami raised his eyebrows.

"Why?" He quiered. The blonde glared at him.

"You promised you wouldn't." He replied sulkily. Lilita also glared at her husband.

"The only reason I will say out loud is that she's my friend and Head of Household." The room stopped. A pair of lavender eyes, golden eyes, and ruby eyes stared at her.

"Excuse me?" Neftis gasped. Lilita looked at her calmly,

"You're going to be my Head of household." She repeated, "I'll still keep the test things in case I change my mind, but…" The girl stopped as her husband interrupted.

"Are you crazy? She's a thief! A Queen of Thieves no less. By Osiris this is the most stupid thing I've ever heard." Malik looked at the angry Pharaoh.

"Two things. One I thought that saying you would marry a crocodile was the stupid thing you'd ever heard." Yami scowled at him. "And two, maybe you should listen to her arguments before jumping down her throat." He suggested quickly. Yami turned back to Lilita and nodded.

"Yami, let's face it, we're practically blind to the Lower City. The Upper City we know, but we know nothing about the domain which Neftis and Akeifa rule. If Neftis was my Head of Household, she could still find out the Lower City." Neftis looked confused.

"But the Head of Household and Queen of Thieves are full time jobs." She blurted out. Lilita smiled,

"We'll work round that." She promised. Yami, finally admitting defeat, got up and walked to the balcony.
"We'll speak no more of this." He turned back to the room. The two girls' had vanished and the door was shut behind them. Malik regarded the door thoughtfully.

"If you made her a diplomat she'd excel at the job." He commented.

"Which one?" Yami asked as Malik headed for the door.

"Either." He replied and left Yami with his thoughts.

000000000000000000000000

Down in the Lower City, Akeifa was planning a strategy. He needed to destroy Shanaar and his group fast. Even if Aryarchic did get Imperial soldiers to wipe out the thieves, her father would be dead. Akeifa growled, he would kill that Shanaar. Instead of challenging him openly, the man was spinning a web like a spider. Akeifa swore and picked up his knife, his brown eyes flashing dangerously. He left the room and headed down to the 'Claw. He came in through a back door, and slipped into the common room. Instead of heading to his table, he walked over to Seti and the others.

"Lads, we need to talk." He stated as he sat down. The four of the thieves looked up at him.

"Why?" Ores asked curiously. The white haired thief sighed.

"We need to resort to the good old fashioned, backstabbing and killing in the dark." He told them, the four occupants of the table looked confused. Akeifa sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I need one of you to join Shanaar's group." He explained.

"I do not volunteer." Se-Osiris proclaimed. The other three gave him a look.

"Who?" They asked nervously. Akeifa grinned evilly.

"You, Geb." He stated. The other three grinned. Geb was not happy.

"Why me?" He demanded sulkily. Akeifa looked at him calmly.

"You found out about Shanaar's group, you can get into their ranks." Geb growled.

"What's in it for me?" Akeifa grinned.

"I'll get back to you on that." He said cheerfully tossing a pouch over to the man. Geb smiled after he opened it.

"Keep these coming and you've got a deal."

0000000000000000000000

"How could make your decision that quickly?" Neftis asked in wonder as she and Lilita were walking through the gardens. Lilita tugged on one of her earlobes.

"Well I'd like you to be my head of household. Also I felt like irritating Yami. He'll probably get back at me by making Seth object to you taking the job."

"That's bad?" Neftis asked as she sat down on the rim of one of the fountains.

"Yeah. If both the Pharaoh and the High Priest disagree with my choice then I have to pick someone else." Lilita replied running her fingertips across the water's surface.

"What are the remaining tests?" The black haired thief asked as she studied the water.

"Well. I'm going to turn down all the flutists and tambourine players, and then all of the remaining girls' shall have to learn to dance and…" She stopped and smiled slyly. "Learn to fight." Neftis felt her ears prick.

"Learn to fight." She repeated savouring the word.

"If they don't know how to do either all ready." Lilita commented.

"I didn't think a head of household needed to learn to fight." Neftis said sneakily.

"Oh it's an essential quality in my opinion." Lilita replied as she stood. "Sai fights entertain the court and it's a great way to solve arguments."

00000000000000000000000

After Lilita had thrown out all the unwanted wanna bee's a group of about twenty girls faced her. If only they knew. She thought. Even thought she'd already made her decision she still intend to make the remaining girls, including Neftis, work to their limits. Lilita looked up at the girls, who were waiting expectantly for her to speak.
"Today ladies," The Queen announce to her small assembly, "you will be studying the art of dance. Your instructor will be here soon. You will learn different types of dance. Today you will be studying," She stopped for effect, and to give her a chance to conceal her grin, "Belly dancing." A few of the girl's looked startled at having to learn belly dancing, Neftis looked outraged. Lilita watched them squirm. A woman with blonde hair walked. She was wearing a emerald green belly dancing outfit.

"Ladies this is your dancing instructor. Meet Mai."

000000000000000000000000

"DID YOU SEE HOW CLOSE TO MY THROAT THAT KNIFE WAS?" Malik cried after returning to Yami's rooms with a pile of papers. "And to think I told you not to wipe her and her people out." He added, disgusted with himself.

"Calm down Malik." Yami said rubbing his temples, "Your shouting is starting to give me a headache." He was weary and confused, and strangely grateful to have some work to do.

"I demand that you arrest her immediately." Malik retorted, dumping the papers on Yami's table. The Pharaoh turned to the younger brother of his High Priest and gave him a filthily look.

"If I remember correctly," He said slyly, "You were the one who made me promise to spare her. And secondly, who the hell do you think you are to make demands of me? ME!" His tone which had started quietly had now risen to an ear splitting bellow. The platinum blonde looked startled and stumbled back a bit. Sometimes he thought Yami acted far too royally, even though he was the Pharaoh. This was one of those times. "Sorry Yami." She mumbled, "Slip of the tongue…accident…won't happen again." He gave up apologising and accepted whatever fate his pissed off Pharaoh doled out.

Yami stood there for a moment and fumed. Whatever he had just said he had to agree with Malik's demands. If Lilita hadn't chosen Neftis then the girl would be in jail by now. But his queen wanted the girl in the palace as her head of household, and he had discovered, over time, that he always gave in to the Great Royal Wife's demands. The Pharaoh sighed before turning his hard gaze back to Malik.

"Perhaps," Yami said, his voice as smooth as silk, "I should ask your older brother, my dear high priest, to give you some lessons in manners. What do you think Malik?" The boy in question stood completely immobile, as blood drained from his face. Although they were brothers, Seth and Malik had never been the best of friends, and Seth took duty and manners very seriously. Malik had inadvertently irritated the Pharaoh and if Yami carried out the threat then the platinum blonde could say good bye to weeks of lazing around. In a last attempt to make amends Malik prostrated himself in front of the Pharaoh.

"Please spare me." He cried from the floor, "Please don't tell Seth. Please?" Done with grovelling Malik got to his feet, and pushed his hair out of his eyes, then looked expectantly at Yami. He wasn't there! Anxious Malik spun in circles looking for the lost king. He was still no where to be seen, at least that's what Malik thought until he looked down.

His Royal Highness, Pharaoh Yami of Egypt, Prince of the Nile, Lord of Nubia and the Two Lands, Son of the Light, and Loved of the Gods was lying on the floor, crying with silent laughter.
"That…is the first…hahaha….time anyone…..of my friends….has knelt and…hahaha ….grovelled……hahaha….at my…..feet." The spiky hair boy managed to say before he collapsed once more in an undignified heap laughing manically. Malik attempted to collect his now shattered dignity.

"If you have no more need for me everlasting Pharaoh," He said stiffly, "I will take my leave." Yami looked at him. The Pharaoh had just managed to regain his composure.

"I think you should be my court jester." He announced as Malik was about to leave.

"I haven't laughed so much in ages." The look on Malik's face caused the Pharaoh to surrender once more to laughter.

00000000000000000000000000

A/N: Well there it is folks, what do ya think? Oh, some of the cast have messages for you, don't you boys?

K: this random wench wants you to review her story, but I thunk that...

DID YOU CALL ME A WENCH! YOU BLO--Y MANWHORE, YOU...

Adele, please don't kill him. No, put that knife away. OMG! Seto honnie speak to me, are you alright...

Y:What we're supposed to say is, review this story, PRETTY PLEASE? -does yugi like puppy eyes-