Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the setting, but I do own the weirdo plot and the crappy rhyming!
This is a load of junk that came out at 2ish in the morning when my sister was keeping me awake with her loud snoring! I'm getting a little stuck on my other story so I did this for some fun. Enjoy dears x.x
…….
…….
Starbug tumbled through the sky,
As elegant and quick,
As a crumpled sun-dried ugly snail,
Half squished by a large red brick,
Said Cat as he sat at starbug's controls,
Hurtling through the night,
"God bud! You scared me then,
You're ugly face gave me a fright!"
Rimmer flared his nostrils,
And nudged with his little light bee,
A great big crimson button, marked,
'If you value life do not press me'
Oh how awful! I hear you cry,
As Starbug span out of control,
The crew ended up more battered and broken,
Than a ten year old whack-a-mole mole.
As they unpeeled themselves from the walls,
Cat cried out in dismay,
"Oh no what's happened to my hair?
Someone is gonna pay!"
"Ha!" Lister said laughing,
And pointing at Cat's hairdo,
"It looks like a smegging dog,
Sat on you and did a poo."
"Shut up bud, like you can talk!"
Said Cat with an angry meow,
"At least I don't look like I've
Spent a week up the rear of a cow!"
He pulled out a comb from a secret supply,
And brushed at his locks with a frown,
They smartly smoothed back into place,
Lovely, sleek and brown.
Kryten came into the cockpit,
With worry on his face,
"No need to panic sirs,
But I think we've run out of plaice!"
"NO!" Cat screamed, with a pout on his lips,
"That's my fourth favourite type of fish!
"What the hell am I going to do,
Without the right fish on my dish?"
"Why the smeg are we talking like this?"
Said Rimmer, "It sounds stupid!"
The author soon whacked him with a mouldy orange,
So he ran away and hid
"Smeg I'm smegging hungry!"
Lister said, pulling on his hat,
"Anyone fancy a curry?"
"I think I'd rather eat," Cat replied,
"One of my own gorgeous feet,
"And I won't be doing that in a hurry!"
"I don't mean to alarm you," said Rimmer,
"But that button that I might have pressed,
I think it leads to explosives!"
Said Cat, "Boy, I better get dressed!"
"You're gonna get changed to die?"
Said Lister, with a bit of panic sinking in,
"Of course I am bud! You think I wanna peg it
Dressed like a French manikin?"
"Sirs, we are definitely not going to die,
That button Mr Rimmer poked,
Was the one for the pot noodle dispenser!"
Lister groaned, "this better be a joke!"
"Sirs, this means we have more food,
We should congratulate Mr Rimmer on his find!"
Lister made a face, "How about giving him a kick,
Up his smug hologramic behind!"
"I'd rather die than eat that smeg," he said
watching Cat take a nap,
"And if Lister doesn't eat it then it must taste bad,
coz he eats the most disgusting crap!"
And so we leave our posse,
After an interesting snippet of their life,
It's a pity they didn't see it coming,
The space ship of Lister's GELF wife.
…….
…….
Dun dun duuuunn! Review please! I'll continue if I can be bothered :D