I couldn't believe that he had just tried to cover up everything that had been going on for the past few months with just a simple apology. One little apology couldn't make up for everything he had put me through just so I could help my little brother. Not to mention the stress it put on me not to be allowed to tell someone.
At one time I had actually thought of suicide, but when I thought of Al; I couldn't go through.
Now Roy was trying to cover the whole thing up with an apology and a confession of love to me.Love? You didn't seem to love me all those times you hit me and basically raped me for your own pleasure.
I admit that I had some feelings for the Colonel over the past few years, but after the first time he raped me... I couldn't keep those feelings. For about three years I had believed that once I was old enough for him to consider me mature, we would have a relationship.
I decided to be stubborn and never forgive him for what he did to me. It was over and there was no chance of us ever being together.
So I left his office to go find Al after I had listened to his pathetic whining of how cruel it was for him to do those things to me. I closed the door to the office, and at the same time closed the door to my heart; making sure to shut out Roy Mustang.
When he left me; I could feel the hatred linger in the room. He hated every part of me, and it was my fault because I let my sexual desires get in the way of my heart.
I had used the excuse that I was a monster and would always remain one, but it wasn't true. I just refused to acknowledge the fact that I had actual feelings for a boy who wasn't even considered an adult yet.
I had blown my only chance to get into a life long relationship with him, and he had even kicked me to the curb. That was just how embarrassing it was. I knew I wouldn't want to face him for a while, but I knew I would have to. It was my job to be his commander and give him all his assignments, so we often had to meet face to face.
I guess this was the end of everything between me and Ed; except for our commander and soldier relationship. Then again, maybe if I was just as stubborn as he was; maybe I could convince him one day to come back to me.
And maybe it would be different. Until then, I'll probably stay single adn wait for him to finally accept the apology I offered. Then again, I could always get together with someone else who I had been interested in for a while. Hughes or maybe Hawkeye, who knows?
Although, neither of our wounds will ever heal.