(A/N: Warning: This episode may make you say 'WTF' or bored to death...I bet that this will be a boring chapter, but hey I felt like writing this so don't blame me.)

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.

What If...(The Series of Alpha)

Episode III: "Goldfish" (N/A)

"This is the Late Night Saturday Games were all the drinks are free. Tonight, we are witnessing an interesting final round between Lieutenant Armstrong and Lieutenant Havoc from Central HQ in my own office. And once again, Lieutenant Havoc is smoking in a nonsmoking zone," Lieutenant Riza said in a bored tone.

"Hey, you don't sound like a good announcer to me," Lieutenant Havoc said to her.

"You said that I have to BE an announcer for this stupid game, not ACT like one." Lieutenant Havoc took out her gun from his pocket waving it at her face, teasing her with it.

"Uh hun! Remember that bet that I won. So I suggest that you pull it together, or else say good bye to your pistol."

"Hey, you force me to do that bet!"

"So, if you don't want me to tell everyone about your diary and if you want your pistol back, I suggest that you convince me that you can do a better job than that. Oh, and goldfish." Lieutenant Hawkeye growled as Lieutenant Havoc said that. Lieutenant Armstrong drew out another card from the deck and smiled.

"Got kings?"

"Game, good job Alex."

"Same thing to you, but too bad that our announcer didn't win anything."

"WHAT! After you tied me up and all of that trouble, you will not let me go! Lieutenant Havoc I-"

"There's nothing that you can do. Without your gun and your diary, I own you and I'm going to make you pay for all of the torture that you put me through."

"You are going to regret this some time soon because you went too far!"

"And what are you going to do about it?"

Lieutenant Hawkeye did not say anything. Instead, she struggled for her pocketknife and cut the ropes off her hands. She got up from her chair and grabbed Lieutenant Havoc, reaching for her gun and diary from his pocket. After she put up her diary in her pocket, she aimed her gun at Lieutenant Havoc.

"Don't bother, I've removed all the bullets in case this happens."

"Oh, you mean these bullets?" Lieutenant Hawkeye took out some extra bullets from her pocket and showed it to him and that is when everything went haywire. Lieutenant Armstrong headed for the door after the bullet hole-filled room became so messy that it would take the clean-up crew at least three days to clean and trying to stop the fight from escalating. Before he opened it, the door opened and Lieutenant Armstrong took a step back and saluted.

"Lt. Colonel, good evening!"

Right on that statement, Lieutenant Hawkeye and Lieutenant Havoc stopped fighting, stood up, and saluted to the Lt. Colonel. Lieutenant Havoc looked at the lt. colonel with surprise.

"That's Colonel for you and I want an explanation from each of you, NOW. It's almost going on 11 o' clock and I see everybody acting like...Never mind, I want everybody to meet me in the interrogation room by 5 o' clock this morning."

"What if we don't? We all know that even you come to work late. Besides, I do not think that you are Lt. Colonel Mustang because last time I recalled, he is dead so prove it to us that you're him."

"You want me to burn down the building, lieutenant?"

"You wouldn't dare." Lieutenant Havoc put out his cigarette and put on Lieutenant Hawkeye's desk.

"Sir-"

Before Lieutenant Hawkeye could finish, Colonel Mustang snapped his fingers... and lets just say that he added a week for the clean up crew. Lieutenant Havoc stood way back from the colonel and later, he said to Lieutenant Hawkeye that he won't pull a prank at her as long as Colonel Mustang is around...but now, Lieutenant Havoc, Lieutenant Hawkeye, and Lieutenant Armstrong now have an interrogation to attend to...in the morning.

"Oh, and I won't accept tardiness either, especially from you Hawkeye. Every one is now dismissed."

Lieutenant Hawkeye nodded and the colonel walked to the door. Before he did, Lieutenant Havoc asked, "And we have to call you Colonel because?"

Colonel Mustang gave Lieutenant Havoc a memo and left the room, being silent. Right after he left, Havoc ripped up the memo and curled up to a ball.

"Why do I have to have to deal with this? Oh, why me!"

The other two lieutenants looked at him very weirdly and took some steps back away from him.

(A/N: Well, Havoc did have too much sugar before he came to HQ, so...)