3. She walked up to the door of the pool house timidly and knocked. Sandy had called the rehabilitation center claiming a family emergency that Kirsten had to be present for. Today was the day of Trey's funeral and Ryan was going to need all of the support he could get. Sandy had hired a private detective and located Dawn, but she didn't want to come to the funeral. She felt as if she had abandoned her sons when they were young and that they were better off without her. Sandy had pleaded with her, to come, just to offer support for Ryan but she refused.

The next best thing to having his real mother there would be to have Kirsten near him. Kirsten always had a way of calming Ryan down, and she still felt the need to apologize to him for what she said on the day her family decided to intervene with her drinking. She had been ridden with guilt when she remembered all the nasty things she said to her family who cared for her. The one thing that made her realize she had to go was the look on Seth's face. She had never seen her son look that upset in his entire life, not even when he and Summer broke up.

She knocked on the door again as she tried the knob. The door was unlocked and she walked into the room. Ryan was sitting on his bed, his head in his hands. Kirsten walked in and sat down next to him. Ryan still hadn't looked up.

"How are you holding up," she asked Ryan.

Ryan looked up, shock filling his face. She was truly the last person he had expected to see. Sandy said that her rehab stay would be at the very least 3 months.

"Kirsten, what are you doing here?" he said wiping the remnants of tears from his eyes.

"My family needed me," she said while giving him a hug, "Sandy got me out for a few days, for a family emergency. I wouldn't miss being here for you come hell or high water. I would have come sooner, but you know, I had no idea. They wouldn't let me use a phone for the first two weeks. God, Ryan, I'm so sorry….sorry about everything." She said trying her hardest to hold the tears back.

"It's not your fault…you didn't pull the trigger," he said solemnly.

She gave him another hug, "It's not just about that. I'm just so sorry that I wasn't able to be here for you. Ryan, I'm so sorry about the things I said to you that day. I let you into this house because you are a good kid and you needed to get away from the way you were being raised, I never meant to bring those memories back into your life by being the drunk alcoholic that Sandy got you away from," she said not really caring if she was insulting Dawn. She was infuriated that Dawn didn't want to be there for her one remaining son, the son that was going to a tough school and passing with straight A's irregardless of all personal issues he was dealing with.

Ryan hugged Kirsten back, it was very unlike Ryan to hug but he felt a special connection with Kirsten. She had been a great mother figure to him, even when she was under the influence; she never once hit him or raised her voice at him, or made him feel like an outsider. The only time he was ever hurt by her was the day they had an intervention and she acted as if he were nothing to her.

"I understand why you said what you did," he started, looking into her eyes, "you felt ganged up on and you were angry. I didn't take it personal," he forced a smile before looking back into his hands. He was holding an article that was written about the shooting and death of Trey Atwood.

"Seriously, Ryan, how are you holding up?" she asked concerned. Ryan meant a great deal to her and she wanted to be there for him. She knew that Ryan wasn't the type to really talk about his feelings, but if he wanted to open up, she would be here for him. Sandy and Seth said that Ryan spoke even less than he used to.

"It's hard," he said after a moment's silence. His girlfriend had shot and killed his brother in order to save his life. He hadn't spoken to Marissa since that night. All the remembered doing was getting up off of the floor and hugging Marissa before collapsing and being taken away by the EMT's. He had secluded himself from Sandy and Seth. He didn't know what to say to anyone. He found it easier to talk to Kirsten because she was also dealing with her own problems and its always easy to talk, one troubled person to another. "I've never had to deal with death before, and this isn't like….its not….well….its my brother…..and…he didn't just die….he was shot….by Marissa." He finally managed to spit it all out before looking back down. He had a headache.

"Have you tried to talk to anyone?" she asked, "Not Sandy, Seth or even Marissa, but have you considered going to speak to a psychiatrist? This is a lot to handle for someone as young as you," she said in a motherly voice.

Ryan let out a snort as if he were too good or too tough to see a shrink, "Do you remember the kind of nut job Marissa met when she went," he had completely forgotten that Kirsten was currently one of those nut jobs who needed help.

"Not everyone is like Oliver," she put her hand on his shoulder, remembering the ordeal and trauma that Oliver had brought into their once quiet lives, "Ryan, it is something you really should look into, doing to speak to someone, an outsider, really does help. They don't judge you and they don't try to tell you about how you could have made the situation any different, they just give you advice on how to deal with your emotions."

"I'll think about it," he said obviously not meaning it.

Kirsten stood up, looking at her watch, it was almost time to go to the church for the funeral. "Ryan, its almost time. I'll leave so you can get ready," she stood up, walking to the door.

Ryan stood up as well and gave Kirsten a hug, "Thanks for everything."

"Marissa, are you getting ready?" Julie's voice echoed up the stairs.

She didn't answer. She sat at her vanity table, dressed in a black and sulking. This was the second funeral that she would be attending within a month. The only difference with this funeral is that she had caused the death. She never meant to kill Trey, she just didn't know what to do to get him off of Ryan. She tried to pry him off but he threw her against the wall, her screams were going unanswered and Ryan was losing the color in his face. Tears started to fall from her eyes again.

She heard her mother's footsteps as she made her way up the stairs to Marissa's room. "Darling, we have to get going soon." She said, failing to see that her daughter was falling apart, her entire life in shambles.

Marissa said nothing, she grabbed a tissue from the vanity and wiped her tears away. She looked up at her mom, "I don't think I can do this."

"Of course you can Marissa, now just fix up your makeup, your looking a little ashen. Have you lost any more weight? My god Marissa, people are going to think that I don't feed you." She said in typical Julie fashion, more concerned with what others think instead of her daughter's feelings.

"God mom, do you ever think of anyone else besides yourself and what other people think of you?" she said, finally releasing some of her pent up feelings, it felt good for her to explode. "My life has completely changed and you are sitting here thinking about what other people will say?" she said while throwing a perfume bottle across the room.

"Marissa Cooper, I'm going to let that slide because I understand you are mourning or something like that, but I will not tolerate that behavior anymore." She said

"Sorry mom, I'm not the black widow of death. Everything you touch turns to crap mom. Did you ever stop to think that I have feelings and I care? I care about Ryan having lost his brother, I care that I'm the one who pulled the trigger. Do you care that you made dad bankrupt? Do you care that your affair with Luke lead him to drink and almost kill himself? Knowing you, you probably had something to do with Caleb's death too," she said while running out of her room and down the stairs to the waiting car.

All of her thoughts were on Ryan. How would he react to seeing her? Would he speak to her? Would he hug her? Is he going to hate her forever?