Title: Organic
Author: HeeroDuo1x2x1
Genre: Supernatural, Romance
Rating: PG-13 (T)
Warnings: Angst, shit, OOCness out the yang, shifting POVs, and stuff. (My muse loves angst and Pocky, so that's what she makes me write about... the angst, not the Pocky.)
Pairings: If you've been reading this far and haven't figured this out yet... :sighs: I fear for your future.
Disclaimer: How 'bout this? I don't own Gundam Wing. Yep. That's the truth.

Chapter 8

Heero's POV

I should have told him I loved him the moment I realised it. But I didn't. I put it off and wasted my opportunity. He left, back to that dead place. I was alone, pounding my fists against the hardwood floor in anguish. I was regretting not fighting more to keep him here, for not doing more to stop him. I was beating myself up for hoping it wouldn't hurt. He hadn't even been gone an hour, but the pain was unbearable and I felt myself gag through my withheld tears. I shouldn't have let myself become so dependent on his renewed presence over the days prior. I shouldn't have been so weak.

But thinking of the "shouldn't haves" and "should haves" wouldn't change anything. It didn't change the fact that I was still at Quatre's Irish estate in that same room, with the same curtains letting the minute sunset shine through. I pounded my fist again on the floor, letting out a sob. I hated this feeling, this feeling of being unable to control myself. What was worse, was it had become so common over those few days. I couldn't believe it hadn't even been a full week since Duo told me what had happened, couldn't believe that it only took six days for my entire world to go through the blender, and I didn't think I'd ever be whole again.

I continued pounding on the floor until the others came and stormed into the room. What a sight it must have been, seeing my form on the floor trying to either break my hand or tear a hole in the floor. Wufei and Trowa's expressions betrayed nothing, with the exception of a bit of shock, but Quatre had shifted from annoyance at the noise to utter concern and confusion. He was at my side in an instant.

"Heero! What happened? Where's Duo?" He was frantic, aquamarine eyes flashing in the almost-dark of the room. I slammed my fist onto the floor again, feeling the tingling beginnings of pain spiderweb throughout my hand and up through my arm. It felt real, so I slammed my fist down again, ignoring the blood I saw pooling on the dented wood floor.

I choked out the only word my mind would formulate as Quatre grabbed my arm before I could slam it down again, "Gone." I tried to pull away from him, but I was so caught up in wanting to murder the floor that I hadn't noticed it when Trowa had grabbed me from behind, dragging me unceremoniously to my feet. I struggled against him, snarling profanities in every language I knew in his general direction. I didn't want to be standing; I didn't want to be in Quatre's over-sized estate, not did I want to be going through this shit again. Not again. I stopped moving, drooping my head and sagging against Trowa. I didn't want to deal with it anymore, didn't want to feel that mind-numbing pain billowing throughout my entire being.

They were talking amongst themselves in varying tones ranging from panic to sheer uncertainty. I blocked them out, not wanting to hear them talk, knowing it would only make me want to break something. I pulled away from Trowa, struggling to propel myself towards the door.

"Yuy, where do you think you're going?" I think it was Wufei who spoke, and I felt my insides grow cold. It was his fault this happened, and it took every ounce of self-control I possessed to stop from turning around and planting my fist into face.

Keeping my body tense so I wouldn't kill him, I looked at the bastard over my shoulder, "Don't talk to me, Chang. I'm holding you personally responsible for this."

With that, I left Quatre's manor and checked into the first hotel I came upon. Anything to be away from that place.

Duo's POV

Staring up at the dark skies of insert name of death place here made me realize that maybe leaving like that hadn't been that great of an idea. Okay, so it made me realize that I was a fucking idiot for leaving Heero there by himself when he looked like he was about to have a panic attack. I felt like pond scum, hell, I felt like worse than pond scum. I felt like a smelly load of dog shit that had just been trampled on by spiked cleats. I definitely didn't want the image of his eyes wide with fear engraved in my mind forever, and it looked like with my new-found heritage that's what I was sitting on. And to have to live with knowing I put that look in his beautiful eyes for who knows how long would drive me to tears, then to insanity, and then back to tears. I couldn't stand that idea, but I couldn't go back either. I didn't want to see the others again, I didn't want to have to think about them anymore. I mean, I cared about them a lot. Hell, they were the best friends I'd ever had. That's what happens when you fight a war with someone and deal with their injuries and emotional break downs. But no matter how much I cared for them, the fact that Wufei didn't believe me... it hurt almost as badly as the Maxwell Church massacre.

I cringed, sighing into the dull void of the land of the dead. Really, it wasn't anything that spectacular. It was just there, like some backdrop for a movie. You don't really focus on the surroundings, but on the individual details. It didn't fit with the idea of Heaven or Hell, just being a place where the dead were taken and sorted so they could go where ever it was they were going next. Reincarnation, Heaven, Hell, or whatever other place or existence there is. It was beautiful though, that I wouldn't hesitate to say. It unnerved me a lot though, especially since the prominent colour was the exact shade of blue as Heero's eyes. Every time I looked around, I saw that colour and my regret at leaving like that got heavier and heavier.

I was beginning to think that maybe I should go back again, back to Heero, back to that hardly furnished one bedroom apartment he called home. I just wanted to be near him, the others completely forgotten as I built up my nerve to go back.

"Duo." I jumped at the voice, realizing that it was my mother herself standing next to me. I had been so absorbed in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed when she'd approached me, but I didn't think I would have noticed anyway. She was a goddess, and probably couldn't be bothered with things like walking. I turned and looked at her. I definitely wasn't used to the fact that I could've been looking at myself, except female and all that shit, but it was getting easier. That didn't really sit well with the part of me trying to cling to the life I'd once had, completely free of goddesses and parents and custodial issues from Hell and ruined social lives, but the part of me embracing that new life thought it was just another step towards finally accepting myself. I promptly shoved a pineapple up that half of my mind's ass and told it to go fuck it's self. It was wallowing in pain for a few hours.

"Atropos." I forced a smile. Just because she was my mother didn't mean I had to like her.

Her smile wasn't forced, but instead flowed freely, "I'm so glad you're back from your escapade. Did things go well for you?"

Of course, for a death goddess she was too damn nice to hate. She wasn't cold like one would expect. Hell, compared to her, I was a stick in the mud asshole. "Oh, yeah! Everything was just fucking dandy."

"Don't be sarcastic." She chuckled, reaching out and putting a fluorescent arm around my shoulder, "I know what happened to you, Duo, and I'm sorry it had to turn out that way."

"What are you talking about? It's not over yet. I'm going back, I have to talk to Heero. I need to apologize for just..." I stopped talking, looking down at my hands. Yep, I felt like thrice trampled shit. Hurray.

"Vanishing?" Atropos put in, her voice knowing. I nodded. "He was very upset about that. He hurt his hand while slamming it against the floor, and nearly murdered the Chinese boy."

I cringed again. I knew she could keep tabs on anyone she wanted, but it was kind of unnerving to know that she'd been watching. And then it dawned on me what she had said, "How badly did he hurt himself?"

"He tore all the skin off of his left hand. I'm sure it stings most unpleasantly." She mused, walking ahead of me. Turning around, Atropos smiled slightly, "I'm sure everything will be fine, son. Come and see me if you need me." She faded from view, and I figured she went back to whatever duties she had to attend to.

Even more so than before, Heero was all I could think about after that, how it was my fault he had injured himself over me. I needed to go back to him.

Heero's POV

The room I'd checked into was dingy and cold, but it was someplace to sleep. The quarter moon shone in through the window as I scrubbed the dried and flaking blood off of my hand. It hurt, but nowhere near as badly as some of the other injuries I'd attained over the years. The tingling sensation hadn't faded yet, but I welcomed it. It reminded me of my lapse in sanity. The entire week, it seemed, had been a lapse in sanity and maybe now I would recover from it. Maybe it was all just a hallucination and I was actually sitting in an insane asylum somewhere. Unlikely, but not entirely improbable. I honestly didn't want it to be a dream, however. Well, not all of it. That day in particular I wished to whoever would listen that it hadn't happened, that it was the dream. No one was listening, it seemed, since as soon as I exited the bathroom with my hand wrapped in a fresh towel, I saw a woman who looked shockingly like Duo sitting in one of the hardback chairs by the window. I blinked and stared at her.

She noticed me standing there and offered me a smile, "Heero Yuy, it's a pleasure to meet you."

… To be continued

A/N: And that, my friends, is chapter 8. And guess what? I'm almost done with this. There will be a chapter 9 and some sort of epilogue, if I get around to doing it. I'm hoping I'll be able to finish this before September, but I can't promise anything. But hey! I wrote a one-shot today, and I finished this chapter! So hey, no worries, ne? AND, this took me less time then I thought it would. Regretfully, I don't think it's as good (even if it is a bit longer.) as the last chapter. Well, I suppose an update is an update and it isn't my call whether or not it's better. But still. I'm disappointed with myself. I was striving for this to be a defining chapter, and all it's got going for it is the fact it has alternating POVs and the Goddess of Death makes an appearance. So... In other words, it's pretty lame. But still. This story is my pride and joy, even if Wise Blood has more reviews and more people like it. This fic is the one that tries my patience the most, since I actually need to be sorta true to the series as much as I can and OOCness is something I'm trying to avoid. At least with Wise Blood the story is AU, so it's isn't such a big deal. Anyway, thanks to all the reviewers, especially Trio Wing and Mineko Yuy! You two are the greatest!

P.S. Sorry for the Cliffy. :heart: