Disclaimer: You can check the first chapter for that one. From this point on, this disclaimer line shall note exist in future chapters!

Quote: "It's the beast! The anti-flag, come to live among us and rule us for seven years! The end is nigh!" Red Zealot, RvB Episode 40

Episode Two: Strange Land, Stranger People

(Present Day, Red/Blue Command)

"Hello, this is Vic calling Blood Gulch, anyone hearing me right now? Don't be shy, just trying to see what the hell is going on down there... hello?"

"They're not answering," said a high ranking officer that stood behind Vic. "They didn't answer now, not even and hour ago, and I'm sure as hell that they will NOT answer in the future!"

"Doesn't hurt to try, general dude, never know until you try!"

"...remind me again how a moron like you got a job as a communicator?"

"Whoa... harsh."

"Sir!" the general turned around to see a normal Marine (not a Spartan, like the Red and Blue teams), rushing toward him in a hurry. "We've just received word that Sidewinder Outpost has been destroyed!"

"Say WHAT?" shouted the general.

"Wow..." Vic added. "That has to-"

"Shut your mouth, dirtbag." The general turned to stare right into the marine's eyes and said, "Just how in the hell was Sidewinder destroyed? The Blue squad there has been dead for months!"

"Erm... well, the last minute report said that a white-armored freelancer had broken into the base and killed the remaining Red squad members-"

"Uh oh," Vic said quietly.

"-And our satellite telemetry suggests that the entire area was, well... blown out of existence but a 10 megaton bomb."

The general's jaw hung open in a state of shock. Vic looked at the two and said, "Well then... doubt anybody could have survived something like that."

(Meanwhile, back in the future...)

"...OH FUC-"

"Oh no... NO-"

"Nar, sorapo nudo carlk ne-"

INSERT SUPER-STRONG KICK-ASS EXPLOSION OF ARMAGEDDON HERE, EQUAL IN POWER TO THE DESTRUCTION OF PLANET ZEBES AT THE END OF SUPER METROID PLUS THE DESTRUCTION OF PLANET NAMEK. IT'S REALLY, REALLY BIG.

In unison, anyone with the ability to shout said the same thing in unison:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Lopez, on the other hand, said this:

"AIEIEIEIEIEIEIIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIE!"

Then everything went black.

(Some unknown time later, Location unknown)

"Ohhhhh... my fucking head... why does it hurt some much..."

"G...grif? Grif, is that you?"

"Huh?" Grif managed to open his eyes and tilt his head to the left. He saw Donut, upside-down against a wall. "Donut?"

"Yeah, it's me..." the pink soldier replied. "Man, what a ride that was!"

"I swear... this is the last time we stand at the center of an explosion."

"Point taken. Say, have you seen Sarge or Simmons?"

"Why are you asking me? I just woke up!"

"Will you ladies pipe down? Some of us are trying to recover their sense here!" With that said, Sarge managed to rise out of a nearby rusted dumpster, an old banana peel sticking to the side of his head. "That makes three of us... where's Simmons?"

"Right here sir!" the fore mentioned said, popping up next to the Red team leader.

"Excellent. We survived another explosion with 0 casualities! That's a new record!" Grif turned toward Sarge and narrowed his eyes.

"Sarge, none of us have even died before..."

"Not true, scumbag. We lost your pulse 5 times after the tank ran you over."

Grif quickly stood up in a panic, shouting, "SAY WHAT? Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"You never asked, num nuts!" Sarge climbed over the edge of the dumpster and brushed off the garbage he could spot. "And for god sakes, someone get Donut up before he starts looking stupid!"

Grif grunted and turned to help Donut. Simmons took the time to remove the banana peel from Sarge's head before he and anyone else noticed.

"Now that we're all accounted for and no longer dazed, we need to figure out where the hell we are! Simmons, any suggestions?"

Simmons stood up smugly and said, "Judging by the brick walls so close to each other, the lack of light, and the dumpster, we are in some kind of alleyway."

"I kinda figured that out already guy," Grif retorted.

"Ask me if I care, DEXTER." the cyborg soldier replied.

"Guys, guys!" shouted Donut. "No need to be hurtful to each other; we're all on the same team!"

Grif and Simmons turned to Donut and simply stared. After a few moments, they turned back to each other, then back to Donut, then went to face Sarge.

"Anyway..." Grif began. "We're in an alleyway. Which mean's we're in a city or town. The question is: where?"

"That's EXACTLY what we need to find out!" Sarge raised his shotgun up high and aimed it in the direction of the brightest light source. "Now, let's move it out and get ready to kick whose ever asses that get's on our way! And I sure hope it's those goddamn Blues!"

"Hey, now that you mention it... where are those guys?" Simmons interjected.

"How knows?" Grif replied. "With their luck, they're probably in the middle of space."

(Same time, different location)

"Hello?" A blue armored figure stood in the middle of a forest clearing, totally alone. "H-hello? Church? Tucker? Tex? Major Pop N' Fresh? ...anyone?"

Silence filled the air. Despite the armor concealing any signs of fear, Caboose was clearly afraid. Even though he OBVIOUSLY is holding a gun his hands.

"...I'm scared... there is no one around, to help me. Church... please come out of the trees right about... NOW!"

He looked toward a section of clearing, only to find no moment.

"Okay... you are going to come out from behind the rock... NOW!" Again, nothing out of the ordinary occurred.

"...Are the going from above right about... NOW?" He looked up. Nothing. "Oh, come on, I need to be right some time!"

"I'm surprised you're ever right about anything."

"AHH!" The voice had caught Caboose off guard, causing him to jump in fright. He turned around and ended up facing Tucker. "Tucker?"

"The one and only, dude!" Tucker took his pistol (his cool thing was lost before, remember?) and did some fancy gun twirling moves, just to show off, before putting it away in his holster. "So... any sign of Church or Tex?"

"Um, no..." Caboose said, obviously annoyed. "Why do you think I was saying he was coming to me when he was not?"

"I dunno... maybe because you're an idiot?"

"...ha... ha... ha... That is not funny."

"Whatever." Tucker looked around at the trees and sky, and finally asked a very important question, one the Reds had failed to think of. "Why is everything here so messed up?"

"I... beg your pardon?" the blue soldier said, clueless.

"Just look at it! Everything here is so... bright! Even us!" Tucker exclaimed, pointing at his cyan armor, which looked cel-shaded at the moment. "Why does everything here look like some kind of cartoon?"

At the moment, Caboose smiled underneath his helmet and jumped with glee. "Cartoons? Hooray! I LOVE cartoons! And now we are in one!"

"Uh, Caboose-"

"Ooo, OOO! I bet I could fall off a building and turn into an accordion, just like that coyote guy!"

"Caboose-"

"Oh, do you think Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck will be here? Maybe we can find Rocky and Bullwinkle too!"

"You're not listening to-"

"Then we can have snack time with them, and plays jokes on the cast of Yu-Gi-"

"DUDE! Cartoons are not real! They're nothing but drawn moving pictures on TV! There is no way they could ever be in real life!"

"...Tucker, I think you should get a second opinion," Caboose said slowly.

"From WHO? We're the only ones out here! Who am I going to get a new opinion from if there are only TWO people?"

"Well... how about the two people behind you with the talking cat?"

"The-huh?"

Tucker turned around and there, standing right there, was a young man with purple hair and a young woman with a large red hair-do, in matching uniforms with the letter "R" on the shirts, and a knee-high cat walking upright and a coin-like structure on it's forehead.

"..." The three new figures simply stared at the two armored soldiers. Not movement or sound was made until Caboose walked up right next to Tucker.

"Hey there! When are you going to start your motto?"

The cat continued staring while thinking, "Dat's oit. No moe cat-nip foe me."

(Still the same timeframe, yet another location)

Church's head hurt. Alot. Even after the countless times of being blown up, shot in the head, paralyzed, blown up again, and so on, he never felt such a pounding headache-

"Wait a minute," he thought. "I have a robotic body now. Why would I get headaches?"

"Hey, are you alright?" said a unknown voice.

"Whose that? Doesn't sound like Caboose or Tucker... damn idiot, blowing up the entire base..."

"Can you here me? Are you hurt?" The sounds of rushing footsteps could be heard. "Guys, come here quick!"

"Oh god, what happened to him?" shouted a young feminine voice.

"Hey, there's someone else hurt too down here!" The next voice belonged to an older male, older than the owner of the first voice. "She's got a nasty cut too!"

"She? That sounds like Tex- wait, a cut? Robots can't get cuts! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!"

"Hey, he's waking up!" the first voice said. Church opened his eyes and saw the blurry figure of a young teenage boy wearing a cap. Even before his vision fully returned, he brought his hands up into his vision. His eyes went wide and he immediately got to his feet, staring at his hands.

His unarmored hands. His hands with skin on them. His ORIGINAL hands.

"HOLY SHIT, I'M BACK IN MY BODY!"

(And finally, back at Red/Blue Command)

"Vic, do you have ANY idea how much trouble you're in right now?"

"Um... pretty much?"

"You idiot! First you forget Captain Flowers is DEAD, then you reveal the R-V-B to Private Tucker, and then you have a freelancer-"

Just then, the radio crackled to life and began transmitting. "-ello, th... lancer Wyom... g to... command, any... there?"

"What the- give me that!" The general shoved Vic out of his seat and activated the console. "This is General Manhattan to Freelancer Wyoming, respond immediately!"

"Oh, it that you, General?" the British merc replied. "Finally, I got some clear reception. How are you this fine day?"

"Cut the crap, you lousy sonavu bitch!" the general shouted into the radio. "You have a lot do explaining to do! What the hell happened on Sidewinder?"

"Oh, that? Well simple put, I was going to take out Private Tucker, but his friend Private Church decided to, how shall I put this... explode."

"Explode? How could he- wait, wasn't Private Church killed in friendly fire?"

"Well, he was there somehow, and he did exploded, and somehow I survived, ending up here-"

"Forget about the details then, where is your location? Where are you transmitting from?"

(Covenant Holy City of High Charity, exact moment)

"To say the truth, my good man," Wyoming said, looking out at the scores of Covenant personnel, unaware of his presence, "The worst possible place I can think of..."

END EPISODE

And so ends episode two. I think this one is longer than the original one written before the restart, and it has more people too. I'm not sure why I added the things with Vic and Red/Blue command, or the thing with Wyoming of High Charity, but hey, I made it up as a go, like many major web sagas. Hopefully, the next episode will be done much sooner and such.

Next Episode: Painting the Town Red (And the Forest Blue)

Sorry for the lack of Lopez, he'll be back soon. Though it makes me wish I remembered my many years of Spanish class...