Introductory Notes: Just want to take this chance to thanks all of those who liked the first two chapters and such. When I suggested this idea in a chat elsewhere, they wanted to gut my like a fish (just like Sarge), but it seems people here are a little more open minded. Or they're just not as smart. Which is okay. Please don't hurt me. OO;

Episode Three: Painting the Town Red (And the Forest Blue)

(Forest Clearing, Unknown Universe)

Tucker stared at the three new figures. They stared back at him and Caboose. Caboose just stood there, all casual like, as if this was the norm from him and his teammates (considering what they've been through, I might as well have been).

"Caboose... do you have ANY idea what the hell is going on?"

"Of COURSE I do," said soldier replied. "Why wouldn't I? I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet. Like Church would."

"...No," Tucker replied, "I think Church would have a mental breakdown from this." The cyan Spartan turned toward the newcomers and said, "What, you're still standing there? Does our presence fascinate you THAT much?"

The two humans and their cat companion, which for the sake of getting things done are named Jessie, James and Meowth, looked at each other wondering what to do. The red haired women turned back to Tucker and said, "Um, would you excuse us for a moment to talk things over?"

"Eh, why the hell not? Gives me time to figure where the fuck I am."

As the two Spartan began to converse in private, Team Rocket stepped to the side in a small huddle.

"This is unbelievable!" Jessie whispered. "After all our bad luck with that twerp and his friends, we find some people with REALLY vauable stuff!"

"What are you talking about?" James replied. "I don't see any bauables on them!"

"She's talk'in about they's armor, nincompoop!" Meowth explained. "That stuff looks like it can take a diwect hit from a Rhydon!"

"My point exactly," Jessie said slyly. "Even though we don't know who made it, that armor they have would bring use a big bonus with the boss!"

"Yeah, and I'll be top cat around the HQ again!"

"But guys, how are we going to get those suits anyway?" James said with fear. "They have guns!"

"Yes..." Jessie replied, "But they seemed confused, well, one of them is; the other one seems stupid enough to not pose a big threat. We can easily overpower them!"

"I like dat plan!" whispered Meowth. "We'll kick 'em while they'we down!"

As the trio of villains discussed their strategy, Caboose was telling Tucker what he knew about just what exactly was going on.

"-and then I watched the movies again and again, and those were the HAPPIEST days of my life."

"...Caboose, that make no fucking sense, what-so-ever."

"Oh, and I suppose YOU have a better explanation?" Caboose said with hints of anger.

"Well, no..." The cyan soldier looked back toward the huddled mass of Team Rocket a ways off. "But I'm really not sure how we could have fallen into an anime show, much less such a crappy one."

Caboose turned his head toward his teammate, as if in some sort of trance, and said calmly, "...what did you say?"

"I mean it, seriously! First of all, this show, pokey men-"

"It's called Pokémon, Tucker. I'd rather like it if you say it correctly-"

"Whatever. Anyway, this show was made over 500 years ago... that's like older than my grandmother-"

"It, is a classic show, Tucker. It is a VERY, GOOD classic and-"

"'Classic'? That show was BULLSHIT! Nobody cared about it then, and they don't now!"

"Stop, saying mean things! You, are making me mad!"

Tucker simply laughed at his companion's statements. "Oh come on, what are you gonna do? Turn into the Hulk?"

"You, will not like me, when I, am angry!" Caboose seemed to start straining his voice. "When I get angry, I start thinking really, mean, things, like Red Bull! Black Ponies! YyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYOU!"

With a swift motion, Caboose took the Battle Rifle in his hands and brought it up to eye level, the opening of the barrel facing right at Tucker's visor.

"Holy shit, DUDE!" he yelled. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

In menacing voice, the usually easy going, light headed blue team member said, "My name, is Micheal J. Caboose. And I will butter your toasted soul, with DEATH!"

At that time, Team Rocket had finished their strategy (they have those?) and faced in the direction of the two Blue squad members. "Alright you two!" Jessie said, sounding her most menacing. "Prepare for Trouble!"

James started to say "And make it double," but was interrupted as Tucker ran like hell, screaming, past the two young adults, followed by a disgruntled Caboose, who was shooting into the forest like a madman. The two soldiers disappeared into the woods, leaving Team Rocket behind.

"Hey, we didn't get to finish the motto!" James complained. This earned him a whack from Jessie's fan.

"QUIT COMPLAINING, YOU MORON, OUR PROMOTION IS RUNNING AWAY! COME ON!"

(City Alleyways, Pokémon Universe)

Grif crouched on his knees and slowly walked/crawled between Simmons, who was in the front, and Donut who followed him. Sarge was planted directly at the back.

"I still don't see why we have to walk like this the whole way." the orange soldier stated.

"Quite, dirtbag!" Sarge exclaimed with a hushed tone. "We're being stealthy! Everyone knows the lying low is the best strategy when faced with unknown danger!"

"Totally true, sir!" Simmons added.

"What a kiss-ass," Grif thought silently. He continued crawl-walking when he was stopped by Simmon's immobile body. "Hey Simmons, get your cyborg ass moving!"

"Shut up, you idiot!" the maroon soldier whispered. "There's people up ahead!"

"Is it those blue guys, Simmons?" Donut asked quietly.

"No..." Simmons peaked over the corner of the alleyway to where he saw the people. "But they ARE wearing blue clothing... looks like a gang of some sort..."

"A gang of blue-wearing punks?" Sarge spat out. "Why those dirty jackals! The Blue army must be using gangs to recruit new members into their ranks! Are they up to no good, Simmons?"

"I don't think- wait, yes." Again, he peaked around the corner, seeings several men in blue outfits and hauling several boxes out of a building and onto a nearby black van. "Look's like some kind of break-in."

"A robbery? Oh man, those guys are good!" Donut shouted. This earned him a quick SHH! from his three teammates. "Well, are we gonna go do something?"

"Not yet, Donut," Sarge explained. "First, we need to assess the situation and determine how much firepower they-"

"I can see them from here, Sarge," Grif said with a hint of annoyance. "The have no guns. In fact, I don't even think they're even working for the Blue guys!"

"Can it, dirtbag. They're wearing blue, so OBVIOUSLY they're Blues!"

"No it doesn't! I'm not wearing red and I'm part of the army, even though I don't want to be! In fact, the only one wearing red here is YOU!"

"Grif... what part of "Can it, dirtbag!" did you not understand?"

"Um, guys?" Donut interjected. "I think if we rush in right now and knock them out, we can take their vehicle and get out of here before more of them come."

Simmons, Grif and Sarge stared at the pink private as if he had said he was the mastermind behind the Covenant armies. Or that he was a homosexual; whatever works for the current situation.

"Donut... you actually have a good idea!" Sarge said. "You're one step closer to becoming a better soldier!"

"Really, Sarge?"

"Yes, but only if you start acting more manly!" The southern talking sergeant stood right up and turned his shotgun to the perfect whacking position. "Men, get ready for Operation: Knockout!"

"You just made that up, didn't you?" Grif pointed out.

"Shut up and get ready to be a meat shield, asswipe."

(Same location, some distance away)

"Man, this job blows," the Team Aqua grunt complained. "We didn't even get Pokémon to help us out with this job.

"Quit complaining- at least it better than restroom duty back at the base," another grunt grunted (LOL, I made a funnie)

A third member came out of the nearby doorway that was broken inwards carrying another box, then walked to the van and put the brown container on the floor of the vehicle.

"Well, that's the last of the stuff. Hopefully we'll be long gone before any police arrive."

"Man, I still don't get why we need these supply runs. You'd think Archie would have enough money to buy this crap of the black market!"

"Well he doesn't! The boss needs all the funds he can get for his secret project! Team Magma got us on the run for the good stuff since-"

The second grunt heard a small sound, and turned his head toward where Sarge and the other Reds were spying on them from. He could see nothing.

"Hey man, something wrong?" the third of the criminals asked.

"Eh, it was nothin'. Thought I heard someone over there, that's all..."

"Probably just a Rattata and shit," the first grunt replied, getting ready to close the back doors of the van. "Now, let's get going before-"

"YEEHAW!"

"The hell-" CRACK! The third grunt was down and out, Sarge standing over his unconscious body.

"Oh fuck! I knew there was-" Another CRACK!, this time thanks to Grif. Another swift CRACK! and the last of the Aqua's were down for the count, thanks to Donut's pistol whip. Simmons appeared from the other end of the alleyway, his distraction working perfectly.

"Dude, that was sweet!" Grif shouted. "That was the best sneak attack ever! Donut, you actually came up with a good plan!"

"Yeah, it was a good plan, wasn't it?" the pink soldier replied. "And we get a free vehicle too!"

Sarge was already climbing into driver's seat of the van and started it up. "Only 75 horsepower? The Blues are definitely cutting back these days!"

"Well, you know what I say about all this?" Simmons interjected. "...SHOTGUN!"

"Shotgu-FUCK!" Grif cursed, outwitted by the maroon cyborg once again. "You just want to sit next to Sarge, don't you?"

"It's only proper for the chain of command, Grif. You'll understand when YOU become a superior officer's favorite... which I doubt will be happening anytime soon-"

"You know what, screw you." With the, Grif climbed into the back of the van, pushing several of the boxes out of the way, some of which landed on the unconscious Aqua grunts. "Hey Donut, get in so we can get out of here."

"Sweet! Bunk buddy!" shouted the young private, jumping straight first into the van. Grif sighed in frustration and closed the double doors. Simmons quickly got into the passenger side of the van next to Sarge, obviously pleased.

"Well men, whatever this place is, they better get ready," shouted Sarge "because the Red Squad is coming to town!"

With that, he gunned down the accelerator and the van speed out of the alleyway like a bat of out hell. From underneath the piles of boxes, one of the grunts was slowly coming to.

"Ouch... I knew I should have thanking bathroom duty today..."

(Forested Area, Pokémon Universe)

"Shitshitshitshitshitshit-" BANGBANGBANG! "MOTHER FUCKER!"

Caboose was right on Tucker's tail, chasing and firing at his teammate like a madman, thanks to the cyan soldier's comments about the Pokémon anime (he didn't get to the good jokes either). Caboose was laughing at his companion's panicked state.

"EVERY STEP YOU RUN MAKES ME WANT TO EAT YOUR BRAINS MORE! MUAH HAHAHAHA!"

From the site of a nearby waterfall, one could see Tucker run across the small stream, followed by the gun totting Caboose, and a few yards behind came Team Rocket, obviously wanting that promotion badly. In between two rocks of said waterfall, laid a small handle with ruinic symbols on it. It was the sword that Tucker had found, and had started the whole mess in this world.

A four fingered hand reached down and grabbed the handle, lifting it up and activating the deadly energy blade. The owner of the hand glared at the sword, then back to the trees where the chase had went through. Then, the figure softly spoke:

"By the will of the Prophets, the hunting of the Heretics shall begin..."

END EPISODE

And there goes Episode Three. I'd like to thank the reviewers of both chapters for their insight and ideas (like the idea of Team Aqua being mistaken for Blues). And we also see the return of Mad Caboose (who first appeared in RvB episode 40; a classic). I just wanted to bring him back this time, especially after he insulted on of Caboose's favorite shows. Will Tucker survive Caboose's rampage? What of Church and Tex? Is O'Malley still at large? Will Wyoming survive the twisting halls of High Charity? And what other craziness will I think up of? Stay tuned, dirtbags!

Next Episode: Not in Kansas Anymore