Lost Memories

"Where is she?" Beast Boy demanded, crossing his arms. It's been months since they last saw her, and at this point, he was all out of patience and understanding.

"BB, we can't find her. She left her communicator behind, so we can't track her like that," Robin explained.

"And no one in town's seen her," Bumblebee chirped.

Beast Boy bit his lip, restraining himself from yelling outwardly. How is it possible that they, the Teen Titans, couldn't find one missing person? There were seven of them – she was one. The concept wasn't hard to grasp.

Aqualad appeared, looking tired and wet. He collapsed on the ground in front of them, panting slightly. Suddenly, Beast Boy's stomach churned. Aqualad knew something.

"Well, any luck?" Cyborg finally asked, breaking the tension-filled silence.

Aqualad looked up, his expression stern. "Yeah, I found her all right."

"Joyous!" Starfire beamed, clapping. "This is wonderful news!"

The sodden teen grimaced, shaking his head. "Ah, guys, I don't know how to say this…"

Beast Boy clutched his stomach. Something bad was going to happen. He felt sick. He needed to lie down.

"What is it?" Robin spoke quietly. Did she go back with Slade? What was going on?

Aqualad hesitated in answering. He stood up, wiping the residue from his arms, trying to use any excuse to procrastinate. Finally, he took a deep breath and began, "I was swimming down by the edge of town, y'know, by the forest. I was starting to become a little winded, so I jumped out and began to walk around. I found this pond; it didn't look too healthy. It was full of scum and dirt… it looked gross. I was about to turn around and head back into the ocean when…" He trailed off.

"When what?" Raven demanded. Even she seemed to be a little shaken up by the drama.

"I saw Terra. She was lying on the ground, her arm in the pond. I don't know how I missed her at first glance, with her bright hair and all. So naturally I figured I could wake her up and take her home but…" He paused, trying to figure out how to word it. "But… when I got a closer look, she was pretty beaten up. Her arms and legs were all scuffed up, and she had a pretty nasty blow to her head."

"Is… Is she okay?" Robin managed to ask. He glanced over toward Beast Boy, who looked to be holding himself, staring off in a different direction.

Aqualad exhaled deeply. "I don't know how to break this delicately, so here goes: From what I found…" He hesitated. "Terra's dead, you guys."

Starfire gasped, bringing her hands to her mouth. "Oh my… Really?"

He nodded, slowly, cautiously. "Yeah."

Cyborg glanced to Robin, who looked as if he were inspecting his feet. "We should go get her body, then. Give her a funeral or something…" He muttered off, becoming less and less understandable.

Robin nodded in agreement. "That's a good idea. C'mon team; let's go get into the T-Sub. Aqualad, you think you can lead us there?"

Aqualad nodded. "Sure."

The team walked back inside the tower, leaving Beast Boy behind. The green changeling stared at the water; he felt numb, nothing at all. He leaned forward, spying his reflection in the water.

Terra… dead? How could it be? What had happened with Slade? Did she kill herself? Did he kill her? What was going on?

No, it couldn't be. Terra can't be dead. It's impossible. They were supposed to find her, bring her back to the tower, and live happily ever after. This wasn't supposed to happen. It couldn't. It can't.

And even if she is… Why can't he feel anything? Beast Boy stared at himself; his expression was somber, yet he felt no tears, no emotion. He pinched himself in a desperate attempt to feel something. Nothing.

"BB, you coming?" Cyborg called. Beast Boy glanced in his direction. He tried to nod, but couldn't bring himself to. He just stared like a mindless idiot.

"B… You okay?" Cyborg asked. Of course he's not okay… he just lost Terra… again…

"You don't have to come," Robin told him. "You can stay here if you wanna. Actually, it might be better if you do."

Beast Boy continued to stare mindlessly. He did want to go; he wanted to see Terra, dead or alive. But still, he couldn't bring himself to move.

Robin took his unresponsive attitude as a yes, and the team took off, leaving the changeling behind. Beast Boy wanted to jump up and yell for them to wait, but he couldn't.

He managed to swing his head around, staring at his reflection again. He didn't recognize the being staring back at him.

Terra's gone. She's actually gone, and she's not coming back. Not now, not ever. You won't ever see her again.

But I never got to tell her that I love her.

And with that, Beast Boy squeezed his eyes shut, letting the tears flow freely.