Um, no flames please for how this ends - if anything, blame LavenderGoddessV for influencing me so much.
More multimedia:
-Headstrong- by Trapt – Bra's side
Where will you go? by Evanescence – Bra's side
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Chapter 16: If I could only…
-
"Fallen" by Sarah McLachlan
"Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
-Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
-Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
-We all begin out with good intent
When love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
-In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
I've held so dear.
-Heaven bend to take my hand
I've nowhere left to turn
I've lost to these I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
That it's one wrong step one slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed"
-
The dark sky beyond the window mocked her and she morbidly wondered why she'd picked the seat facing it, knowing it would do so.
But she refused to entertain such an idea, instead tearing her eyes off it to focus on Tenshi, seated opposite her and back to the darkness.
Oblivious.
The silence was strained between them and Bra fleetingly remembered why – the fight. Her temples throbbed, but she refused to show any sign.
"You were right."
Tenshi's quiet statement pierced the distance between them and her blue eyes flew up to look at verdant green. The color of life. She almost smiled at the irony.
"You were right," he repeated. "We're on the cusp of the rest of our lives, everything waiting ahead of us. Of course you want some kind of plan, some kind of decisive design to, to make sense on what it will be like."
Why are you here?
Tenshi made a frustrated noise in his throat, annoyed by how he was fumbling for words. His green eyes locked with hers as his hands daringly reached to clasp hers.
Her hands had pulled Goten to her.
"All I know Bra, is that I love you," he said intensely. "We've been together for three years and when I think of the future, all I see is you. This isn't temporary or at least, it doesn't have to be."
With growing shock, she watched him get off his chair and kneel before her. His hand went to his pocket.
"I want to give you that vision Bra, if you would just answer one question."
Her hand went to her mouth. The mouth that'd always betrayed her.
"Will you marry me?"
She looked deeply into his eyes, seeing his love, feeling her own lap gently at the edges of her mind. She'd loved him for three years.
Why are you here?
The darkness mocked her and she turned in her chair towards Tenshi.
It wasn't a real choice, just an obvious one, at least to anyone who really knew her.
We are not friends.
But he wasn't her lover either.
The devil couldn't love.
I'm so sick of speaking words
that no one understands
Is it clear enough that you can't live
your whole life all alone
I can hear you in a whisper
But you can't even hear me screaming
She smiled almost sadly at Tenshi and gave her answer.
-
The door closed with a quiet click behind her and she leaned against it. But after a minute, she shook her head in exasperation and strode with determination further into her apartment.
Maybe she should've accepted his offer to stay with her. But she needed space, by herself to come to grips with her decision.
"You know," she spun around as a man emerged from the shadows, "you really do need to learn to ki-sense." He smirked at her appraisingly, reveling at the fact he'd yet again sneaked up on her. "But then, there's always time to teach you, Princess."
She shuddered, seeing the comment as what it was – an offer of an affair. Sex in darkness, in showers, intense connection and their lives lived as usual. An affair like that which had started her mother's relationship with her father. And didn't Goten seem to style himself far too much like Vegeta?
Princess, not Bra.
-Circling your head contemplating everything you ever said
Now I see the truth, I got a doubt
A different motive in your eyes and now I'm out
See you later
I see your fantasy you want to make a reality paved in gold-
The very thought was utterly repulsive to her – even more so considering her late actions.
She thrust her hand out. "I'm engaged."
-I can't give anything away
I won't give everything away-
It was curious watching the glint in his eyes extinguish. His face simply emptied of emotion and expression. Blank, a wall emptied of the clues that she could use to decipher its meaning.
She waited for him to speak.
"So the girl has decided to give her boyfriend another try." His words were casual, as if one of his friend's kid sister had just announced she was going on a date.
She felt like she'd been slapped, the term hitting home hard.
I thought I saw a man brought to life
he was warm he came around like he was dignified
he showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
you don't seem to know - or seem to care what your heart is for
She swallowed. "I want you out of my life Goten." She made her expression firm and unyielding. "Permanently. I never want you to see you again." His face never changed. "Do you understand?" Her tone was sharp, she needed him to speak – to give some sign-!
His indifference made her want to scream.
-See inside, inside of our heads
Well that's over
I see your motives inside and decision to hide-
And then she laughed in his face, a sound foreign to her throat - the mocking, derisive laughter that she'd heard far too often from his mouth. His eyes narrowed slightly in confusion. "You know I really was wrong about you," she said finally. "I was convinced when I saw you that there had to be more to you, some scrap of real humanity." She gave a snort, her eyes ice shards. "Actually no, I thought there had to be some remnant of Goku left in you – some hope for you to be a man, for surely your entire original personality couldn't all be fake."
Ironic wasn't it really, after all that talk of being their own person, she'd just wanted Goku and he'd just wanted Bulma?
-Conclusions manifest your first impressions, got to be your very best
I see you're full of s and that's all right
That's how you play I guess you get through every night
Now that's over-
His face finally showed rage and she smirked. She was out for blood. "But congratulations Akuma," she spat out the name with hatred. "You've gotten my stamp of approval," she flashed her teeth. "You'll never be half the man your father was."
She couldn't help a thrill, knowing that she'd hurt him, furious the fact she was refusing him couldn't do it.
I don't know him anymore
there's nothing where he used to lie
my conversation (inspiration) has run dry
that's what's goin' on
nothing's fine (right)
With obvious effort, he regained himself, his eyes hard, dark, and cold. "So glad to have the Princess' approval," he sneered back. "But if you honestly thought I needed a single thing from you," his tone could've put snow on Tahiti, "you are greatly mistaken."
He turned and strode to her window.
"I mean it Goten; this is over!" She strove to keep herself cold and cutting, but she hated herself for the note of hysteria that crept into her voice.
He turned back at the window. "As you wish, Princess." Ever the mocker.
And even as she bled, she smirked bitterly inside. Yeah, run Goten, show just how different you are from your father.
Where will you go?
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can't escape the truth
I realize that you're afraid
But you can't abandon everyone
You can't escape
You don't want to escape
But as she turned around, refusing to watch him make his big, dramatic exit from her life, an icy hand circled 'round her heart. Just who was it running away?
She refused to acknowledge the hurried rush of her feet, the tears budding at the corners of her eyes, and the shaking of her hand as she dialed Tenshi.
"I've changed my mind, could you come over? We should celebrate."
And she met him at the door, refusing to acknowledge the space black eyes she imagined even as she welcomed him with lips, teeth, tongue, and fingers flying. And they were one.
Goten felt them even thousands of miles away, refusing to consider just why he could home into her ki from such a distance. He wanted to scream to the heavens, but what was the point when no one was listening? And as he stared up at them, he realized what he was going to do.
It was time.
-
"Pick me up
been bleeding too long
Right here, right now
I'll stop it some how
-Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't seems so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
-All this s- I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?
-Shut me off
I am ready,
Heart stops
I stand-alone
-Can't be on my own
I will make it go away
Can't be here no more
Seems this is the only way
I will soon be gone
These feelings will be gone
These feelings will be gone
-Am I going to leave this place?
What is it I'm hanging from?
Is there nothing more to come?
Is it always black in space?
Am I going to take its place?
Am I going to leave this race?
-What is it that I've become?
Is there something more to come?"
Alone I Break by Korn
-
Even after thirty-odd years, when Bulma heard the ignition of the space capsule, her first thought was Vegeta. She immediately reached for him, only to be greeted by an empty space. Her heart raced and she sat up, only to instantly spot him by the window, looking out.
"Relax Woman," his voice flowed over her reassuringly, "I'm right here."
She slipped out of bed and grabbed a light robe. Even summer nights could be chilly. She walked to her husband's side. "Who is it?"
"Goten." She glanced quickly at him, knowing only extremely serious situations caused him to use people's actual names.
"How do you know? I thought you couldn't sense-"
He answered before she could finish. "He raised his ki. He wants us to know he's leaving." He watched as the capsule became lost in the darkness of the sky. "She refused him," he murmured softly. "That's my girl."
Bulma eyed him sharply. "What was that?"
Vegeta hesitated a moment, debating to himself the wisdom of revealing his suspicions and the sparse gleanings he'd gathered from Goten's mind. "Nothing Woman. Now go back to bed."
She frowned and he gave a sigh, before leading the way. He didn't really mind – laying beside her promised him more peace than he'd had in his first thirty odd years without her.
He idly wondered if Goten would manage to find that in space.
Not d- likely.
-
Nine months later, a black-haired baby boy was born to a married woman.
And his mother cried.
-
Thus ends the first part of Vows. Next part is ten years later and let's just say, space is the next frontier.