In The Beginning
Chapter Eleven: The Valentine's Day Dance, Part 1
Jackie couldn't bear to go to school the next day.
Both of her parents had poured themselves into bed at midnight, not even waking her up to say hello, though she was already awake, crying her aching heart out.
She didn't bother to get out of bed that morning. She just turned over, sighing gently as she tuned the radio to the local top 40 station.
As a nice song with an upbeat started playing, Jackie sighed heavily.
It was already noon, and neither of her parents had come to check up on her.
They probably didn't even know she was home.
Jackie finally tore herself out of bed, tiptoeing down the stairs, which still looked cold and dark, with patches of pale sunlight streaming through the corridor windows.
"Mom?" She called out gently. "Dad?"
Nothing.
Besides the pitter patter of maids scurrying about, the house was silent, and no one paid any attention to Jackie. She suddenly felt like she was five years old again, lost and alone, while her father was off on business.
"Jackie, darling," Her mother's voice broke Jackie out of her daze, as she took huge strides towards Jackie, who was now leaning against the banister of the stairway, "Why aren't you in school?"
"I don't feel very well." Jackie pouted her lips, feigning a look of complete innocence.
"Oh." Pam placed her hand, very awkwardly, on Jackie's forehead, "Well, you're not warm..."
Jackie took a deep breath, "Mom, do you love daddy?"
"What?" Pam took a step back, slightly confused, but quickly covered it up with a wide, but very insincere smile, "Of course, sweetie!"
"How do you know?"
"How do I know...?" Pam ushered her daughter into the living room, as she barked at Lucy, the maid, for a drink. "What do you mean, darling?"
"I mean..." Jackie said slowly, "How do you know that you love him?"
"I guess I just do." Pam said slyly, taking a sip of the drink Lucy had rushed over.
"Can you love someone...but love someone else at the same time?"
"Is this about the Kelso boy?" Pam asked suspiciously.
"No." Jackie paused, "It's just that I have this friend," Jackie looked up into her mother's eyes, cautiously, to see if she was buying it, "And she's been with this guy for...a long time."
"Uh huh..." Pam nodded, distracted slightly as Lucy started dusting the cabinets, obviously not to Pam's satisfaction. "Lucy, no!" Pam stood up, practically knocking Jackie over, and grabbed Lucy's arm fiercely, shouting, "No, Lucy, like this..." She moved Lucy's hand slowly, directing her movements, "Comprende?"
Jackie rolled her eyes as her mother sat back down, muttering to herself about how foreigners never finish a job. "Sorry, darling, continue.."
"Ok, well, now there's someone else that she likes." Jackie scrunched her nose up gently, "Well, she's liked him for awhile too...but she's with his best friend."
"Lucy!!"
Jackie jumped up as her mother screamed, her hair violently bouncing as she slapped Lucy's hand away from the cabinets. "Tu quiero fired, Lucy? Comprende?"
Lucy obviously did NOT understand as she shook her head with self pity, muttering Spanish obscenities as she walked away from the cabinets.
"God!" Pam grabbed her drink, gulping down the last of it. "Does the woman not realize that I have had a stressful day? Does she think I have time for this?"
Jackie stayed silent, forcing her mouth shut.
What she really wanted to scream out was how her mother's 'stressful' day was sipping Tequila, poolside and watching the soaps, and how she DID have time for THIS, because she obviously wasn't listening to anything her daughter was saying.
Jackie rolled her eyes, starting to feel anger well up in her throat.
"Darling, where are you going?"
"Out." Jackie said dismissively, grabbing the denim jacket she had left in the living room the other day. His jacket. She froze, not sure if she could even put it on. It would hurt too much. All of this was a lie. Kelso was her safety line, and she was grabbing him, holding on because she was too scared to let go of the past and change for the better. She disgusted herself, sometimes. Jackie threw the jacket into the foyer closet, grabbing one of her own as well, and wrapped it around her body ass she starting walking down the block.
She had no idea where she was going, and was a bit surprised when she was standing outside the Forman house, contemplating whether or not she should ring the bell. She had never been here by herself. Usually, she was with Michael, and she would just come in through the basement door or through the kitchen door, following him. Jackie pushed all the nonsense from her brain as she pressed the button for the doorbell, shifting her feet uncomfortably as the doorbell chimed.
She glanced at her pink wristwatch, realizing that Eric wouldn't be home yet, since school just ended about ten minutes ago, and it took at least twenty minutes to walk to the Forman's from the high school.
Jackie was about to turn and go, when she heard the door open slowly.
"Jackie?" Kitty's voice rang out. "Is that you?"
Jackie turned around in response, smiling softly.
"How are you?" Kitty asked, with her famous Kitty laugh, opening the door wider to let Jackie in.
That's when Jackie snapped.
Here was a mother who took care of her kids; who even invited their friends with open arms. For the first time in her life, Jackie was envious of someone else. Call it karma, since usually people wished they were her, but right now, as Laurie came up to the front door, waving goodbye to one of her boyfriends, who was parked up front, nodding at Jackie with slight disgust and running past her mother, up the stairs, she actually wished she was that stupid, blond whore or even skinny Eric.
"Jackie?" Kitty asked, with concern. "Is something wrong sweetie?"
"I'm sorry." Jackie muttered, wiping some tears from her eyes. "I don't know why I came here...I'm sorry." She apologized again, ready to turn away, when she felt Kitty's warm arm grab her wrist, gently.
"Jackie, I really need someone to help me bake cookies." Kitty said cheerfully. "Do you mind?"
Jackie shook her head no and followed Kitty inside, noting that this was what a mother should be like; this is what a mother feels like.
Kitty started to grab some things from different shelves, making a thick bowl of batter, letting Jackie lick off the spoon, as Eric came inside, throwing his books on the table, not even noticing tiny Jackie leaning against the wall.
"God, school is so annoying." Eric complained as he opened the fridge, grabbing a pop and opening it for himself, leaning against the fridgerator, "Hey Jackie." He took a sip, then paused, "Jackie?" He glanced at his watch, the back at Jackie's amused face, "It's not Wednesday, why are you here?"
Jackie didn't say anything as Kitty smacked Eric lightly.
"Is Kelso here too?"
"No." Jackie said flatly. "We're not attached at the hip, Eric."
"No, just by the lips." Eric laughed, but stopped when Jackie half smiled, in the saddest way ever, as she took a seat by the kitchen counter. Eric stood opposite her as Kitty continued to bake. "So, why are you here?"
"I came to see you." Jackie said plainly, though this wasn't true.
The truth was...she didn't know why she came here.
Maybe because she knew he would be here.
And by he, she didn't mean Eric.
"No, really." Eric said sternly. "Why are you here?"
"To help me bake cookies!" Kitty said with a laugh, breaking the tension between the two, as she came over with the spoon she was done with, handing it to Jackie.
"Moooommmm." Eric whined. "But licking the spoon is my favorite part!"
"Stop whining like a girl." Red's voice came from the side door, as he threw his paper down on the table, just as Eric had with his schoolbooks, went to the fridge, taking out a beer and semi-whined, "God, work is so annoying."
Kitty and Jackie exchanged glances, both amused by father and son, who were oblivious.
Jackie licked the spoon slowly, enjoying the taste before putting it in the sink.
"Daddy..." Laurie's voice whined. "There's this party in Kenosha..."
"Yeah, right." Eric said, rolling his eyes in Laurie's direction as she sat down next to Red. "Like he's going to let you go to a party all the way in Kenosha on a school night!"
"Do you need any money, sweetie?" Red asked, whipping out his wallet.
Eric and Kitty both stared at Red, Kitty more out of anger while Eric just had his mouth wide open in sarcastic shock.
"No, Daddy." Laurie said with a smile. "The beer's free."
Eric's mouth, if even possible, went wider, as well as Kitty's, as Laurie slipped out the kitchen door, patting Red on the back.
"Red Forman!" Kitty screeched. "You did not just like our 17 year old daughter go to a strange party in another town with free beer!"
"Actually," Eric said snidely. "I think he just did."
"Kitty, Laurie's been real good lately. She deserves a reward."
"I've been real good lately!" Eric whined.
"Yeah, isn't it about time you screw things up?" Red asked with a hearty laugh, and Jackie felt her lips twirl into a tiny smile. Red took notice of Jackie, instantly, "Where's your kettle head boyfriend at?"
"Um," Jackie felt instantly self aware and shrugged, "I don't know."
"Wait, I thought you and Kelso broke up..." Eric asked, but then quickly zipped his mouth shut.
Jackie gave him a strange look, but figured Kelso probably told him, "We did," Jackie said flatly, "For a few hours."
"Oh, I was told it was serious..." Eric hushed himself up again, visibly smacking himself for revealing too much.
"By who?" Jackie asked loudly, starting to tear again, but this time for no real reason.
"Ok!" Kitty said loudly, breaking the tension once again, "Who wants cookies?"
"I do." Red said, raising his hand.
Kitty laughed, easing Jackie's anger slightly.
"Honey, why did you want to know where Michael was anyway?" Kitty asked as she handed him one of the cookies, fresh from the oven.
Red took a bite, carefully, as to not burn himself, and mumbled, "I need help fixing the Vista Cruiser."
"Um, hello?" Eric spoke up, grabbing a cookie. "You have a son, right here."
"No, I need someone who can actually lift a screwdriver without pulling a muscle." Red said dryly.
"I could go get Donna..." Jackie offered, smiling evilly at Eric.
"What about you?" Red asked, between bites. "You look strong enough."
"What?" Eric screeched. "Jackie's smaller then me!"
"Yeah, but what she lack in shortness, she makes up with not being a dumbass." Red laughed, wiping his hands on his pants before standing up. "So, what do you say, Jackie?"
"I don't know, Mr. Forman." Jackie said uneasily. "I've never really fixed a car before." Jackie paused. "Or anything else, for that matter."
"Can you hold a flashlight?" Red asked gently.
"Yeah, that I can do!" Jackie said with a smile, jumping up from her seat. "At cheerleading camp, I had to hold the flashlight when we raided the other bunks, and I didn't drop it once!"
"Er...good." Red groaned, "Let's go."
Jackie followed him outside, listening to Eric whine about how mean Red was. Jackie didn't find him that mean, really, just misunderstood. She almost reminded her of Steven...
Ugh, she didn't just think about him.
Red shoved a flashlight into Jackie's hand, directing her on how and where to hold it.
Jackie's brain went off track, as she held it steadily, to Red's delight.
Jackie tried to concentrate even harder when she heard a basketball bouncing on the other end of the driveway, and saw three boys walking up to the Vista Cruiser, laughing when they spotted Jackie.
"Jackie, what are you doing?" Fez asked, smirking.
"She's helping me out, you dumbass." Red shouted as he lifted his head up, instructing Jackie to move back as he slammed the hood down. "Thanks, Jackie." He paused, grabbing the flashlight from her, "You did a fine job."
Fez and Eric watched Red disappear into the kitchen, as they slid up the hood of the Vista Cruiser.
"Man, I love this car." Eric said, buffing the hood gently with his hand. "I hope my dad lets me have it."
Jackie felt Kelso's eyes on her and she just forced herself to look down, trying to ignore it.
"Jackie," Kelso said hesitantly, "Why weren't you in school today?"
Jackie's head popped up, and she just shook her head, "Didn't feel good."
She scratched her head gently, feeling her curls fall against her neck.
"So, Eric," Jackie said excitedly, "Are you going to ask Donna to the Valentine's Day Dance tomorrow?"
"Um, no." Eric said bitterly. "Why would I do that?"
Jackie, Kelso, and Fez just stared at him blankly, wondering why he was staring past them.
"Um, maybe because you love her!" Fez said with a laugh.
"Yeah, man, you should go for it!" Kelso screeched. "Valentine's Day is only the most romantic day of the year!"
Jackie looked up at Kelso with surprise, but then snorted as he continued.
"And girls become all loose and easy on Valentine's Day!"
Jackie didn't bother to argue, it was just pointless.
"Guys, shut up." Eric said, through gritted teeth.
Jackie followed Eric's stare, and slowly came across Donna, standing sheepishly by the patio furniture outside of the Forman house. "Oh, Donna." Jackie walked over to her. "That is no way to eavesdrop!"
"I wasn't eavesdropping." Donna whispered forcefully, smiling back at Eric, who was presently being laughed at by Kelso and Fez.
"Ok, you know what?" Jackie's voice rose with anger. "I'm so over all of this, will they, won't they, crap. Donna, Eric likes you. Eric, Donna likes you too." Jackie had started to scream, dragging Donna to the group of boys. "Now, Donna doesn't have a date to the Valentine's Dance, and only losers go to dances alone, so Eric, ask Donna to the dance, because we all know you want to."
"Jackie!" Eric and Donna both screamed out at the same time, as Kelso and Fez watched with amusement. Eric and Donna stared at each other, shyly.
"Um, Donna..." Eric began quietly.
"She can't hear you!" Jackie screamed, placing her hands on his hips.
"Donna," Eric's voice cracked gently as he slid off the car, and grabbed Donna's hands, "Will you go to the dance with me?"
"Um..." Donna muttered nervously.
Jackie rolled her eyes impatiently, giving Donna a weary look.
"Yes." Donna finally spat out, slapping Jackie slightly as Eric grinned.
"Ok, cool." Eric said calmly, reeling back from what just happened.
"Great, this is perfect." Fez said sadly. "Jackie and Kelso are going together, and now Eric and Donna. Who will Fez go with?"
"Go where?" A voice called as he slowly walked up to the group.
Jackie's eyes darted to the ground, staring at her own feet.
Kelso gave her a slight nudge...
Whatever, she thought. He probably thought she was PMSing or something because she had been so up and down lately. Having random fits, like she just did, or breaking into tears, like she did before with Kitty. Actually, seeing as how this is Michael Kelso she was talking about...he probably didn't notice.
"To the Valentine's Dance." Fez said, sniffling slightly.
"You guys are going to that?" Hyde asked calmly. Jackie looked up and noticed that he too was staring straight ahead, avoiding her.
They all nodded simulateously and Hyde just shook his head in disappointment.
"Man, I expected this from you two." He said, drawling a finger at Kelso and Jackie, and Jackie noticed a new look on his face...bitterness, anger, resentment...jealousy. "But come on, man, Valentine's Day is just a corporate holiday. A scam. A plan by the government to...."
"It's just a dance, Hyde." Donna said slowly.
"Just a dance, Donna?" Hyde had started to yell, similar to how Jackie had before at Eric and Donna. "Is Vietnam just a war? Was Nixon just a president?"
"Please," Jackie couldn't help it, she hated these government bashing speeches he often gave. It reminded her of the reasons she once despised him...
How could she like someone like him?
It disgusted her some more...
Everyone looked at Jackie, but the most surprised was Hyde himself.
Jackie cleared her throat, "The only reason why you don't like Valentine's Day is because you know you'll never have anyone to share it with." Jackie had adapted a bitchy tone, she usually reserved for Pam Macy, or when she gossiped in school, "Because no one would ever want to date a poor, scruffy, freak like you."
Everyone looked back at Hyde, who's eyes were burning with anger, his lips trembling gently.
"For your information, princess." Hyde muttered. "I can think of someone in particular who would love to be my Valentine's Day date."
"I don't think they let you bring mothers to the dance, Hyde." Jackie said instantly as the group laughed. She jutted her jaw out, tempting him to fire back.
"Burn!" Kelso screeched, squirming as Hyde frogged him in the shoulder.
"Oh, trust me, this girl isn't my mother." Hyde gave her a knowing glance, that completely terrified her.
Jackie gave Hyde a threatening look, as he continued.
"Let's see...I can't remember her name exactly, you know, there's so many of them..." He paused, a light going off in his head, "Oh, that's right...it's yo.." Before he could finish, Jackie had lunged at him, straddling him with all her might as they fell to the ground, punching his chest lightly, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"What the hell, Jackie?" Kelso laughed as he pulled at her.
Hyde and Jackie stared into each other for a minute, a thousand thoughts exchanged between them as Jackie stared at his quivering lips. Her hands immediately stopped thrashing at him, and she felt a warm, tingling rising from her hands on his chest all the way down her pants. He looked at her inquisitively, almost as if he felt it too, but didn't make a move.
Kelso helped Jackie up, laughing hoarsely as Hyde dusted himself off and stood up.
"You know what, Jackie?" Hyde asked, adjusting his sunglasses. "You were right." He paused, starting to follow the rest of the gang into the basement, "There is no girl."
Jackie stomped her foot with anger, over and over again, as Kelso just bounced the basketball a few times, completely oblivious.
"I hate him!" Jackie screamed loudly.
"No kidding." Kelso laughed. "So, Jackie, I was thinking..."
Jackie stopped over reacting, placing a single hand on her hip as she turned towards her boyfriend.
"...this weekend, well, your parents will be gone again...and maybe, after the dance we could..."
"Make love?" Jackie asked, surprising herself as she said it.
"Well, I was gonna say 'do it', but yeah!" Kelso sunk in a basket, then turned to Jackie. "So, what do you think?"
"I think that sounds like a good idea, Michael." Jackie said unsurely, staring back at the basement door.
"What?" Kelso's voice cracked, but he quickly covered it up and laughed, "I mean, that's ...awesome!"
Jackie nodded, but she wasn't so sure about how awesome it would be.
God, she was so confused.
Everything seemed to get to her these days...but mostly she couldn't understand people like Eric and Donna, who had everything in the world, and didn't even know it. I mean, Donna has Eric, this totally sweet guy who would never cheat or pressure her into having sex, or give her mixed signals and be ashamed of her.
Wait...
Hyde...was he, ashamed of her?
Jackie shrugged it off, deeming that ridiculous.
Everyone wants a piece of Jackie Burkhart.
But she knew that Hyde wasn't just anyone.
But what she felt back there, when she was on top of him... that wasn't something they could ignore.
Jackie watched Kelso sink another basket and sighed deep in thought.
She should really talk to someone...before she exploded.
Jackie looked back into the kitchen, where Kitty was cooking, and slipped inside, making sure Kelso was still playing basketball and no one else was around.
"Mrs. Forman, can I talk to you?"
"Sure, sweetie." Kitty said happily, checking something in the oven, before she patted the kitchen table's top, inviting Jackie to sit.
"Yesterday, I caught Michael cheating on me with Pam Macy. Again." Jackie couldn't help but laugh at Kitty's concerned face. "So I broke up with him."
"Good for you!" Kitty huffed.
"I know!" Jackie squealed, happy she had found someone to listen to her. "So, anyway...I was taking a walk and I bumped into this other guy...this guy who I kind of like...but hate, at the same time."
Kitty nodded slowly, trying to comprehend when she was saying.
"Well, we talked and he walked me home and we kissed. But then, I don't know. Because, well, Mrs. Forman, I'm really scared to be with this other guy, because I know that he deserves someone smart and cool like him, not some dumb cheerleader." Jackie felt the tears coming, and didn't even try to push them back. "So I pushed him away and he pushed me right back. And then Michael came over, and he said he loved me and no one has ever said that to me before, not even my parents, and I mean, I love him too, but not like that, but I said it back, and Steven was standing there and he heard, and he looked hurt and it's all so confusing." Jackie paused, as Kitty grabbed her hand, comforting her gently.
"Jackie," Kitty sighed gently, "This is probably the last thing you want to hear, but this is the type of problem you need to solve by yourself."
"I know that." Jackie sniffled. "But, like, I have no one and it's hard."
"You have me."
Jackie and Kitty both turned to the living room door, where Donna was standing quietly.
"See, that's how you eavesdrop!" Jackie grinned as Donna walked over to the table, grinning. "Mrs. Forman, do you mind?"
"Of course not." Kitty patted Jackie's head and left the two alone in the kitchen, as Donna took Kitty's empty seat.
"Ok..." Donna said slowly. "You need to break up with Kelso." Donna laughed. "Again."
"I know." Jackie wiped a final tear from her face. "But I don't think I can. I mean, see how well it worked yesterday?"
"Jackie, you just can't give into him because he says that he loves you!" Donna shouted. "Kelso loves everything. How do you know he really loves you?"
"I don't know, I guess I just do." Jackie froze, as she felt déjà vu running over her head. God, she sounded like her mother.
She didn't want to end up like that, in a meaningless marriage.
"I need to break up with him." Jackie said strongly. "After the dance, I'll do it."
"Ok...good." Donna smiled. "Now, next problem..."
"What are we going to wear to the dance?!" Jackie said, instantly feeling like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "Donna, please, please let me do your make up!"
Donna shrugged, standing up as well, knowing that Jackie was avoiding the obvious. "No way, Jackie." She laughed, walking out towards the backyard.
"But Donna," Jackie whined. "Don't you want to look like a girl, for once?"
Donna slapped Jackie on the wrist, giving her a threatening look as they sat on the patio, watching Kelso shoot baskets.
"Owwww." Jackie screeched, rubbing her arm. "That hurt, you lumberjack!"
She kicked Donna's shin gently.
"So did that, you midget." Donna laughed, rubbing her leg.
They both quieted down, giggling here and there over Kelso's lack of skill.
"Thanks, for before, Jackie." Donna said quietly, "With Eric."
"I was just stating the obvious." Jackie said, winking in Donna's direction.
"Right." Donna laughed. "Well, either way..."
"You know how you can pay me back?" Jackie asked loudly, slapping Donna's knee. "By letting me pluck that unibrow!"
"No, Jackie." Donna raising her hands to feel her eyebrows. "Well,"
"Oh, Donna, you will not regret this!" Jackie grabbed Donna's wrist, running towards Donna's house, jumping for joy.
"Oh, I doubt that." Donna muttered, smiling down at Jackie.
For the first time all day, Jackie felt truly happy.
Because it was true,
She'd always have Donna.
Jackie spent the rest of the night at Donna's, criticizing her clothes and convincing her to let Jackie redo her room, but all the while both girls realized something.
They both finally got something they had been looking for.
A best friend.
Chapter Eleven: The Valentine's Day Dance, Part 1
Jackie couldn't bear to go to school the next day.
Both of her parents had poured themselves into bed at midnight, not even waking her up to say hello, though she was already awake, crying her aching heart out.
She didn't bother to get out of bed that morning. She just turned over, sighing gently as she tuned the radio to the local top 40 station.
As a nice song with an upbeat started playing, Jackie sighed heavily.
It was already noon, and neither of her parents had come to check up on her.
They probably didn't even know she was home.
Jackie finally tore herself out of bed, tiptoeing down the stairs, which still looked cold and dark, with patches of pale sunlight streaming through the corridor windows.
"Mom?" She called out gently. "Dad?"
Nothing.
Besides the pitter patter of maids scurrying about, the house was silent, and no one paid any attention to Jackie. She suddenly felt like she was five years old again, lost and alone, while her father was off on business.
"Jackie, darling," Her mother's voice broke Jackie out of her daze, as she took huge strides towards Jackie, who was now leaning against the banister of the stairway, "Why aren't you in school?"
"I don't feel very well." Jackie pouted her lips, feigning a look of complete innocence.
"Oh." Pam placed her hand, very awkwardly, on Jackie's forehead, "Well, you're not warm..."
Jackie took a deep breath, "Mom, do you love daddy?"
"What?" Pam took a step back, slightly confused, but quickly covered it up with a wide, but very insincere smile, "Of course, sweetie!"
"How do you know?"
"How do I know...?" Pam ushered her daughter into the living room, as she barked at Lucy, the maid, for a drink. "What do you mean, darling?"
"I mean..." Jackie said slowly, "How do you know that you love him?"
"I guess I just do." Pam said slyly, taking a sip of the drink Lucy had rushed over.
"Can you love someone...but love someone else at the same time?"
"Is this about the Kelso boy?" Pam asked suspiciously.
"No." Jackie paused, "It's just that I have this friend," Jackie looked up into her mother's eyes, cautiously, to see if she was buying it, "And she's been with this guy for...a long time."
"Uh huh..." Pam nodded, distracted slightly as Lucy started dusting the cabinets, obviously not to Pam's satisfaction. "Lucy, no!" Pam stood up, practically knocking Jackie over, and grabbed Lucy's arm fiercely, shouting, "No, Lucy, like this..." She moved Lucy's hand slowly, directing her movements, "Comprende?"
Jackie rolled her eyes as her mother sat back down, muttering to herself about how foreigners never finish a job. "Sorry, darling, continue.."
"Ok, well, now there's someone else that she likes." Jackie scrunched her nose up gently, "Well, she's liked him for awhile too...but she's with his best friend."
"Lucy!!"
Jackie jumped up as her mother screamed, her hair violently bouncing as she slapped Lucy's hand away from the cabinets. "Tu quiero fired, Lucy? Comprende?"
Lucy obviously did NOT understand as she shook her head with self pity, muttering Spanish obscenities as she walked away from the cabinets.
"God!" Pam grabbed her drink, gulping down the last of it. "Does the woman not realize that I have had a stressful day? Does she think I have time for this?"
Jackie stayed silent, forcing her mouth shut.
What she really wanted to scream out was how her mother's 'stressful' day was sipping Tequila, poolside and watching the soaps, and how she DID have time for THIS, because she obviously wasn't listening to anything her daughter was saying.
Jackie rolled her eyes, starting to feel anger well up in her throat.
"Darling, where are you going?"
"Out." Jackie said dismissively, grabbing the denim jacket she had left in the living room the other day. His jacket. She froze, not sure if she could even put it on. It would hurt too much. All of this was a lie. Kelso was her safety line, and she was grabbing him, holding on because she was too scared to let go of the past and change for the better. She disgusted herself, sometimes. Jackie threw the jacket into the foyer closet, grabbing one of her own as well, and wrapped it around her body ass she starting walking down the block.
She had no idea where she was going, and was a bit surprised when she was standing outside the Forman house, contemplating whether or not she should ring the bell. She had never been here by herself. Usually, she was with Michael, and she would just come in through the basement door or through the kitchen door, following him. Jackie pushed all the nonsense from her brain as she pressed the button for the doorbell, shifting her feet uncomfortably as the doorbell chimed.
She glanced at her pink wristwatch, realizing that Eric wouldn't be home yet, since school just ended about ten minutes ago, and it took at least twenty minutes to walk to the Forman's from the high school.
Jackie was about to turn and go, when she heard the door open slowly.
"Jackie?" Kitty's voice rang out. "Is that you?"
Jackie turned around in response, smiling softly.
"How are you?" Kitty asked, with her famous Kitty laugh, opening the door wider to let Jackie in.
That's when Jackie snapped.
Here was a mother who took care of her kids; who even invited their friends with open arms. For the first time in her life, Jackie was envious of someone else. Call it karma, since usually people wished they were her, but right now, as Laurie came up to the front door, waving goodbye to one of her boyfriends, who was parked up front, nodding at Jackie with slight disgust and running past her mother, up the stairs, she actually wished she was that stupid, blond whore or even skinny Eric.
"Jackie?" Kitty asked, with concern. "Is something wrong sweetie?"
"I'm sorry." Jackie muttered, wiping some tears from her eyes. "I don't know why I came here...I'm sorry." She apologized again, ready to turn away, when she felt Kitty's warm arm grab her wrist, gently.
"Jackie, I really need someone to help me bake cookies." Kitty said cheerfully. "Do you mind?"
Jackie shook her head no and followed Kitty inside, noting that this was what a mother should be like; this is what a mother feels like.
Kitty started to grab some things from different shelves, making a thick bowl of batter, letting Jackie lick off the spoon, as Eric came inside, throwing his books on the table, not even noticing tiny Jackie leaning against the wall.
"God, school is so annoying." Eric complained as he opened the fridge, grabbing a pop and opening it for himself, leaning against the fridgerator, "Hey Jackie." He took a sip, then paused, "Jackie?" He glanced at his watch, the back at Jackie's amused face, "It's not Wednesday, why are you here?"
Jackie didn't say anything as Kitty smacked Eric lightly.
"Is Kelso here too?"
"No." Jackie said flatly. "We're not attached at the hip, Eric."
"No, just by the lips." Eric laughed, but stopped when Jackie half smiled, in the saddest way ever, as she took a seat by the kitchen counter. Eric stood opposite her as Kitty continued to bake. "So, why are you here?"
"I came to see you." Jackie said plainly, though this wasn't true.
The truth was...she didn't know why she came here.
Maybe because she knew he would be here.
And by he, she didn't mean Eric.
"No, really." Eric said sternly. "Why are you here?"
"To help me bake cookies!" Kitty said with a laugh, breaking the tension between the two, as she came over with the spoon she was done with, handing it to Jackie.
"Moooommmm." Eric whined. "But licking the spoon is my favorite part!"
"Stop whining like a girl." Red's voice came from the side door, as he threw his paper down on the table, just as Eric had with his schoolbooks, went to the fridge, taking out a beer and semi-whined, "God, work is so annoying."
Kitty and Jackie exchanged glances, both amused by father and son, who were oblivious.
Jackie licked the spoon slowly, enjoying the taste before putting it in the sink.
"Daddy..." Laurie's voice whined. "There's this party in Kenosha..."
"Yeah, right." Eric said, rolling his eyes in Laurie's direction as she sat down next to Red. "Like he's going to let you go to a party all the way in Kenosha on a school night!"
"Do you need any money, sweetie?" Red asked, whipping out his wallet.
Eric and Kitty both stared at Red, Kitty more out of anger while Eric just had his mouth wide open in sarcastic shock.
"No, Daddy." Laurie said with a smile. "The beer's free."
Eric's mouth, if even possible, went wider, as well as Kitty's, as Laurie slipped out the kitchen door, patting Red on the back.
"Red Forman!" Kitty screeched. "You did not just like our 17 year old daughter go to a strange party in another town with free beer!"
"Actually," Eric said snidely. "I think he just did."
"Kitty, Laurie's been real good lately. She deserves a reward."
"I've been real good lately!" Eric whined.
"Yeah, isn't it about time you screw things up?" Red asked with a hearty laugh, and Jackie felt her lips twirl into a tiny smile. Red took notice of Jackie, instantly, "Where's your kettle head boyfriend at?"
"Um," Jackie felt instantly self aware and shrugged, "I don't know."
"Wait, I thought you and Kelso broke up..." Eric asked, but then quickly zipped his mouth shut.
Jackie gave him a strange look, but figured Kelso probably told him, "We did," Jackie said flatly, "For a few hours."
"Oh, I was told it was serious..." Eric hushed himself up again, visibly smacking himself for revealing too much.
"By who?" Jackie asked loudly, starting to tear again, but this time for no real reason.
"Ok!" Kitty said loudly, breaking the tension once again, "Who wants cookies?"
"I do." Red said, raising his hand.
Kitty laughed, easing Jackie's anger slightly.
"Honey, why did you want to know where Michael was anyway?" Kitty asked as she handed him one of the cookies, fresh from the oven.
Red took a bite, carefully, as to not burn himself, and mumbled, "I need help fixing the Vista Cruiser."
"Um, hello?" Eric spoke up, grabbing a cookie. "You have a son, right here."
"No, I need someone who can actually lift a screwdriver without pulling a muscle." Red said dryly.
"I could go get Donna..." Jackie offered, smiling evilly at Eric.
"What about you?" Red asked, between bites. "You look strong enough."
"What?" Eric screeched. "Jackie's smaller then me!"
"Yeah, but what she lack in shortness, she makes up with not being a dumbass." Red laughed, wiping his hands on his pants before standing up. "So, what do you say, Jackie?"
"I don't know, Mr. Forman." Jackie said uneasily. "I've never really fixed a car before." Jackie paused. "Or anything else, for that matter."
"Can you hold a flashlight?" Red asked gently.
"Yeah, that I can do!" Jackie said with a smile, jumping up from her seat. "At cheerleading camp, I had to hold the flashlight when we raided the other bunks, and I didn't drop it once!"
"Er...good." Red groaned, "Let's go."
Jackie followed him outside, listening to Eric whine about how mean Red was. Jackie didn't find him that mean, really, just misunderstood. She almost reminded her of Steven...
Ugh, she didn't just think about him.
Red shoved a flashlight into Jackie's hand, directing her on how and where to hold it.
Jackie's brain went off track, as she held it steadily, to Red's delight.
Jackie tried to concentrate even harder when she heard a basketball bouncing on the other end of the driveway, and saw three boys walking up to the Vista Cruiser, laughing when they spotted Jackie.
"Jackie, what are you doing?" Fez asked, smirking.
"She's helping me out, you dumbass." Red shouted as he lifted his head up, instructing Jackie to move back as he slammed the hood down. "Thanks, Jackie." He paused, grabbing the flashlight from her, "You did a fine job."
Fez and Eric watched Red disappear into the kitchen, as they slid up the hood of the Vista Cruiser.
"Man, I love this car." Eric said, buffing the hood gently with his hand. "I hope my dad lets me have it."
Jackie felt Kelso's eyes on her and she just forced herself to look down, trying to ignore it.
"Jackie," Kelso said hesitantly, "Why weren't you in school today?"
Jackie's head popped up, and she just shook her head, "Didn't feel good."
She scratched her head gently, feeling her curls fall against her neck.
"So, Eric," Jackie said excitedly, "Are you going to ask Donna to the Valentine's Day Dance tomorrow?"
"Um, no." Eric said bitterly. "Why would I do that?"
Jackie, Kelso, and Fez just stared at him blankly, wondering why he was staring past them.
"Um, maybe because you love her!" Fez said with a laugh.
"Yeah, man, you should go for it!" Kelso screeched. "Valentine's Day is only the most romantic day of the year!"
Jackie looked up at Kelso with surprise, but then snorted as he continued.
"And girls become all loose and easy on Valentine's Day!"
Jackie didn't bother to argue, it was just pointless.
"Guys, shut up." Eric said, through gritted teeth.
Jackie followed Eric's stare, and slowly came across Donna, standing sheepishly by the patio furniture outside of the Forman house. "Oh, Donna." Jackie walked over to her. "That is no way to eavesdrop!"
"I wasn't eavesdropping." Donna whispered forcefully, smiling back at Eric, who was presently being laughed at by Kelso and Fez.
"Ok, you know what?" Jackie's voice rose with anger. "I'm so over all of this, will they, won't they, crap. Donna, Eric likes you. Eric, Donna likes you too." Jackie had started to scream, dragging Donna to the group of boys. "Now, Donna doesn't have a date to the Valentine's Dance, and only losers go to dances alone, so Eric, ask Donna to the dance, because we all know you want to."
"Jackie!" Eric and Donna both screamed out at the same time, as Kelso and Fez watched with amusement. Eric and Donna stared at each other, shyly.
"Um, Donna..." Eric began quietly.
"She can't hear you!" Jackie screamed, placing her hands on his hips.
"Donna," Eric's voice cracked gently as he slid off the car, and grabbed Donna's hands, "Will you go to the dance with me?"
"Um..." Donna muttered nervously.
Jackie rolled her eyes impatiently, giving Donna a weary look.
"Yes." Donna finally spat out, slapping Jackie slightly as Eric grinned.
"Ok, cool." Eric said calmly, reeling back from what just happened.
"Great, this is perfect." Fez said sadly. "Jackie and Kelso are going together, and now Eric and Donna. Who will Fez go with?"
"Go where?" A voice called as he slowly walked up to the group.
Jackie's eyes darted to the ground, staring at her own feet.
Kelso gave her a slight nudge...
Whatever, she thought. He probably thought she was PMSing or something because she had been so up and down lately. Having random fits, like she just did, or breaking into tears, like she did before with Kitty. Actually, seeing as how this is Michael Kelso she was talking about...he probably didn't notice.
"To the Valentine's Dance." Fez said, sniffling slightly.
"You guys are going to that?" Hyde asked calmly. Jackie looked up and noticed that he too was staring straight ahead, avoiding her.
They all nodded simulateously and Hyde just shook his head in disappointment.
"Man, I expected this from you two." He said, drawling a finger at Kelso and Jackie, and Jackie noticed a new look on his face...bitterness, anger, resentment...jealousy. "But come on, man, Valentine's Day is just a corporate holiday. A scam. A plan by the government to...."
"It's just a dance, Hyde." Donna said slowly.
"Just a dance, Donna?" Hyde had started to yell, similar to how Jackie had before at Eric and Donna. "Is Vietnam just a war? Was Nixon just a president?"
"Please," Jackie couldn't help it, she hated these government bashing speeches he often gave. It reminded her of the reasons she once despised him...
How could she like someone like him?
It disgusted her some more...
Everyone looked at Jackie, but the most surprised was Hyde himself.
Jackie cleared her throat, "The only reason why you don't like Valentine's Day is because you know you'll never have anyone to share it with." Jackie had adapted a bitchy tone, she usually reserved for Pam Macy, or when she gossiped in school, "Because no one would ever want to date a poor, scruffy, freak like you."
Everyone looked back at Hyde, who's eyes were burning with anger, his lips trembling gently.
"For your information, princess." Hyde muttered. "I can think of someone in particular who would love to be my Valentine's Day date."
"I don't think they let you bring mothers to the dance, Hyde." Jackie said instantly as the group laughed. She jutted her jaw out, tempting him to fire back.
"Burn!" Kelso screeched, squirming as Hyde frogged him in the shoulder.
"Oh, trust me, this girl isn't my mother." Hyde gave her a knowing glance, that completely terrified her.
Jackie gave Hyde a threatening look, as he continued.
"Let's see...I can't remember her name exactly, you know, there's so many of them..." He paused, a light going off in his head, "Oh, that's right...it's yo.." Before he could finish, Jackie had lunged at him, straddling him with all her might as they fell to the ground, punching his chest lightly, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"What the hell, Jackie?" Kelso laughed as he pulled at her.
Hyde and Jackie stared into each other for a minute, a thousand thoughts exchanged between them as Jackie stared at his quivering lips. Her hands immediately stopped thrashing at him, and she felt a warm, tingling rising from her hands on his chest all the way down her pants. He looked at her inquisitively, almost as if he felt it too, but didn't make a move.
Kelso helped Jackie up, laughing hoarsely as Hyde dusted himself off and stood up.
"You know what, Jackie?" Hyde asked, adjusting his sunglasses. "You were right." He paused, starting to follow the rest of the gang into the basement, "There is no girl."
Jackie stomped her foot with anger, over and over again, as Kelso just bounced the basketball a few times, completely oblivious.
"I hate him!" Jackie screamed loudly.
"No kidding." Kelso laughed. "So, Jackie, I was thinking..."
Jackie stopped over reacting, placing a single hand on her hip as she turned towards her boyfriend.
"...this weekend, well, your parents will be gone again...and maybe, after the dance we could..."
"Make love?" Jackie asked, surprising herself as she said it.
"Well, I was gonna say 'do it', but yeah!" Kelso sunk in a basket, then turned to Jackie. "So, what do you think?"
"I think that sounds like a good idea, Michael." Jackie said unsurely, staring back at the basement door.
"What?" Kelso's voice cracked, but he quickly covered it up and laughed, "I mean, that's ...awesome!"
Jackie nodded, but she wasn't so sure about how awesome it would be.
God, she was so confused.
Everything seemed to get to her these days...but mostly she couldn't understand people like Eric and Donna, who had everything in the world, and didn't even know it. I mean, Donna has Eric, this totally sweet guy who would never cheat or pressure her into having sex, or give her mixed signals and be ashamed of her.
Wait...
Hyde...was he, ashamed of her?
Jackie shrugged it off, deeming that ridiculous.
Everyone wants a piece of Jackie Burkhart.
But she knew that Hyde wasn't just anyone.
But what she felt back there, when she was on top of him... that wasn't something they could ignore.
Jackie watched Kelso sink another basket and sighed deep in thought.
She should really talk to someone...before she exploded.
Jackie looked back into the kitchen, where Kitty was cooking, and slipped inside, making sure Kelso was still playing basketball and no one else was around.
"Mrs. Forman, can I talk to you?"
"Sure, sweetie." Kitty said happily, checking something in the oven, before she patted the kitchen table's top, inviting Jackie to sit.
"Yesterday, I caught Michael cheating on me with Pam Macy. Again." Jackie couldn't help but laugh at Kitty's concerned face. "So I broke up with him."
"Good for you!" Kitty huffed.
"I know!" Jackie squealed, happy she had found someone to listen to her. "So, anyway...I was taking a walk and I bumped into this other guy...this guy who I kind of like...but hate, at the same time."
Kitty nodded slowly, trying to comprehend when she was saying.
"Well, we talked and he walked me home and we kissed. But then, I don't know. Because, well, Mrs. Forman, I'm really scared to be with this other guy, because I know that he deserves someone smart and cool like him, not some dumb cheerleader." Jackie felt the tears coming, and didn't even try to push them back. "So I pushed him away and he pushed me right back. And then Michael came over, and he said he loved me and no one has ever said that to me before, not even my parents, and I mean, I love him too, but not like that, but I said it back, and Steven was standing there and he heard, and he looked hurt and it's all so confusing." Jackie paused, as Kitty grabbed her hand, comforting her gently.
"Jackie," Kitty sighed gently, "This is probably the last thing you want to hear, but this is the type of problem you need to solve by yourself."
"I know that." Jackie sniffled. "But, like, I have no one and it's hard."
"You have me."
Jackie and Kitty both turned to the living room door, where Donna was standing quietly.
"See, that's how you eavesdrop!" Jackie grinned as Donna walked over to the table, grinning. "Mrs. Forman, do you mind?"
"Of course not." Kitty patted Jackie's head and left the two alone in the kitchen, as Donna took Kitty's empty seat.
"Ok..." Donna said slowly. "You need to break up with Kelso." Donna laughed. "Again."
"I know." Jackie wiped a final tear from her face. "But I don't think I can. I mean, see how well it worked yesterday?"
"Jackie, you just can't give into him because he says that he loves you!" Donna shouted. "Kelso loves everything. How do you know he really loves you?"
"I don't know, I guess I just do." Jackie froze, as she felt déjà vu running over her head. God, she sounded like her mother.
She didn't want to end up like that, in a meaningless marriage.
"I need to break up with him." Jackie said strongly. "After the dance, I'll do it."
"Ok...good." Donna smiled. "Now, next problem..."
"What are we going to wear to the dance?!" Jackie said, instantly feeling like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "Donna, please, please let me do your make up!"
Donna shrugged, standing up as well, knowing that Jackie was avoiding the obvious. "No way, Jackie." She laughed, walking out towards the backyard.
"But Donna," Jackie whined. "Don't you want to look like a girl, for once?"
Donna slapped Jackie on the wrist, giving her a threatening look as they sat on the patio, watching Kelso shoot baskets.
"Owwww." Jackie screeched, rubbing her arm. "That hurt, you lumberjack!"
She kicked Donna's shin gently.
"So did that, you midget." Donna laughed, rubbing her leg.
They both quieted down, giggling here and there over Kelso's lack of skill.
"Thanks, for before, Jackie." Donna said quietly, "With Eric."
"I was just stating the obvious." Jackie said, winking in Donna's direction.
"Right." Donna laughed. "Well, either way..."
"You know how you can pay me back?" Jackie asked loudly, slapping Donna's knee. "By letting me pluck that unibrow!"
"No, Jackie." Donna raising her hands to feel her eyebrows. "Well,"
"Oh, Donna, you will not regret this!" Jackie grabbed Donna's wrist, running towards Donna's house, jumping for joy.
"Oh, I doubt that." Donna muttered, smiling down at Jackie.
For the first time all day, Jackie felt truly happy.
Because it was true,
She'd always have Donna.
Jackie spent the rest of the night at Donna's, criticizing her clothes and convincing her to let Jackie redo her room, but all the while both girls realized something.
They both finally got something they had been looking for.
A best friend.