In The Beginning
Chapter Sixteen: Jackie Breaks Down
Things were going smoothly for a while as Jackie and Hyde's clandestine make out sessions progressed. They basically avoided each other in school, out of fear of over riding temptation, but once the final bell rang, Jackie would race past Donna, skip cheerleading practice, and keep her guard up in the grungy alley. Hyde would always be there, acting as if he weren't waiting for her, as if he didn't care. But Jackie could see his hands jerk quickly and his eyes sparkle slightly, even behind his shades, as she would walk up to him, kissing him gently on the lips.
She didn't expect much out of him, not as much as she had from Kelso.
But little things he would do surprised her the most.
Like he would take her books from her hands, holding them while they walked up to her house. Or he would give her his jacket when the wind picked up. He even stopped smoking cigarettes around her after she complained about the smell they left on her new outfit.
Hyde always insisted they went straight to her house from the alley, after he wrapped up some business with Jack, he would pull Jackie along quickly up towards some of the back streets, towards a path that went straight across town, towards the Pavilion. Jackie, at first, liked this way, since he would sometimes wrap his arm around her waist and slide his hand into her pocket as she giggled on about the day's gossip. He would blow into her ear as they walked together, completely alone. But slowly Jackie realized that they were always alone. And every time she asked if he wanted to grab a bite to eat at the Hub, which was right there and no inconvenience at all, he would just grunt and pull her along towards the back of the alley. She was pretty sure he was embarrassed to be seen with her, but a part of her was embarrassed as well, so she didn't really think much of it.
They went though this routine, each day. No one was home, except for Lucy and the other maids, who turned the other way when Jackie brought home the grungy, but polite stranger, running up with him to her room and locking the door. They wouldn't waste any time, getting right to the point. And just as it came to the point of desperation and Jackie felt hot and tempted, Hyde would break away from her, explaining that he has to be home for dinner, or the Forman's would be pissed. Jackie would just nod, resting on her pillow as she watched him leave. She didn't bother to walk him down the stairs, he knew the way.
During the weekend, Jackie didn't see Hyde privately at all. She spent all day Saturday at the mall with Donna, discussing Eric and how since the dance he hasn't made any sort of initiative, which wasn't much of a shock to Jackie. On Sunday, she dropped by the basement, claiming that she had forgotten her favorite notebook from her last tutoring session with Eric. Only Fez and Eric were down there, and she figured that asking where Hyde was would be too conspicuous, so she told Eric to call her if she found it and hurried out of there. Of course, Jackie didn't know that Eric and Fez already knew about Jackie and Hyde. In fact, out of the basement gang, the only one who didn't know was Kelso. And although they never discussed it, since well, they don't do much discussing anyway, Jackie and Hyde both agreed that he couldn't find out. Not just yet.
Donna made harmless threats, telling Jackie that she would give her a week to tell Kelso, or else. But a week had passed and a brand new Monday was approaching, and Kelso was still as clueless as ever. Jackie hadn't seen Kelso since they decided to go on their break, but him and Pam would both be back in school today, seeing as how their suspension had been lifted. Jackie had no desire to go to school when she woke up on Monday morning, and had decided to stay home, feigning illness. She slept off the whole day, trying to not think of what a wimp she was for staying home, staying away from Kelso. She just wasn't sure what would happen if she saw him, what she would do, say...or what he would say or do. She knew that whatever she had with Steven was slowly maturing and she liked it, but she missed having a boyfriend, she missed being public with someone.
Jackie was stirred awake by a strong, firm hand on her shoulder and she sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes as her father's image came into focus.
He had come home from his extended business trip last night, at the stroke of midnight, but Jackie didn't even bother to greet him.
"Daddy?"
"How are you feeling, Jacqueline?"
Her father was the only one who still called her that, and sometimes it really bothered her. She just wasn't that girl anymore...
"Better." Jackie said quietly, stretching her arms out as she yawned.
"Sweetie, we need to talk."
Jackie knows that those words don't mean anything good, especially when coming out of a man. She sat up attentively, nodding for him to continue.
He sat down on the bed, placing his arm on hers. It felt awkward for them, seeing as how they had never been very affectionate in the first place.
"Jacqueline, I'm moving to Chicago." He said slowly, watching for her reaction.
"Did you get transferred?" Jackie asked quietly, since she knew that his term as senator had ended last fall and he had struck up his business again, though she wasn't sure what her father actually did.
"I just need to disappear for a while." Her father said quietly, averting his eyes to the ground.
Jackie didn't quite understand, "Disappear?"
"So you have a choice, Jacqueline." Her father started, "You can come with me," He paused, "Or you can join your mother in Mexico."
"Why can't I stay here?" Jackie asked nervously, clutching her knees. Her stomach began to ache.
"There won't be anyone here to take care of you." Her father said poignantly, standing up to leave the room.
Jackie quickly jumped off the bed, following her father with angry eyes.
"What about Lucy and the others?" Jackie cried sharply.
"I had to let them go."
"What?" Jackie's eyes bulged. "Why?"
"They were an unnecessary expense."
Jackie stood dumbfounded as the doorbell rang.
"Answer the door, Jacqueline." Her father said curtly, walking off towards the living room.
Jackie wiped her eyes angrily, stomping over to the door.
Oh god, she thought, not know, not when she's like this.
"Jackie, why weren't you at school today, are you ok?" Hyde tried to walk in, but Jackie put her hand up against his chest, instructing him to stop.
"I can't right now." She said bitterly. "You have to go."
"Is Kelso here?" He asked immediately, and Jackie furrowed her brow in annoyance.
"No."
"Jacqueline, who is it?" Her father's voice called hoarsely from the living room.
Jackie turned around, panic stricken, then turned back to Hyde, who of course didn't recognize the strange man's voice, and grew impatient, "Who is that?"
"Just leave!" She whispered harshly, pushing him out the door. "It's nobody!" Jackie screamed back towards the living room.
"Nobody?" Hyde mouthed, squinting his eyes vaguely at her. "Screw this." He let Jackie push him out completely and walked off towards the street, angrily.
Jackie sighed heavily as she shut the door and returned to her father, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Jacqueline, have you decided where you want to live?" Her father asked absentmindindly, as he flipped through a catalog.
"I want to live here." Jackie said quickly. "In our house."
"Well, you can't."
Jackie Burkhart always got what she wanted, and she quickly put up a tearful face, thought it wasn't too hard to conjure up this time, crying and protesting like she had started to all those years ago.
"But Daddy," She cried. "All my friends are here! And my school and I love it here!"
Her father sighed, looking at her with a tired glare, "That isn't going to work this time, Jacqueline."
Jackie stopped crying and stared at her father, nervously.
She couldn't leave. She couldn't leave him. She...
"I'm not leaving our house!" Jackie shrieked, and began to cry all over again.
"Well, it's not up for negotiation because as of next week, it won't be ours anymore." He bit his lip furiously, staring down at Jackie, since he had stood up in front of her while she whined.
"What are you saying?" Jackie asked peevishly.
"I'm selling the house." Her father said quietly. "Now either you are coming with me to Chicago tonight or you can fly to your mother tomorrow. Make your choice, Jacqueline, I don't have all god damn day." He yelled bitterly, taking his seat back and flipping through the magazine again.
"Don't I have another option?" Jackie asked quietly, between muffled cries.
"Sure," He laughed. "You can stay in this stupid town and live off the streets."
Jackie opened her eyes wide, staring at her pathetic excuse for a father.
"I made my choice, then." Jackie said loudly, running out of the living room and out the door.
She hoped to god that he was still close, but instinct told her to go elsewhere. She found herself by the old courtyard gates of the Elementary school gates, their special place. She slipped inside, and walked over to him slowly, where he was lying down on the grass, staring at the already darkening sky.
"Steven," She began, keeping her tears back.
"Nobody's here." He said lamely, crossing his arms against his chest.
Jackie sat down on the bench, which was a few feet from him, sobbing quietly enough so that he couldn't hear.
"My dad came home." She said loudly, her voice cracking.
She watched him, but he didn't move.
"He fired the help." She stared at him, wishing for comfort.
"Boo hoo, you'll actually have to make your own bed now." He muttered.
"He's selling the house." Jackie continued.
Hyde turned to face her and sat up, finally noticing that she looked incredibly disheveled and tired, sore and upset. She was crying, her tight gray tee shirt had darkened, wet spots from where her tears had been landing. She placed her head in her hands, crying harder, deeming it hopeless. She got up to leave, but turned back to him.
"I hate you!" She screamed randomly, surprising the both of him. "So much happens to you and you don't ever get upset. I'm always alone, I'm always lonely, I'm always crying, but you just shrug it off. Nothing gets to you. It's not fair." She began to sob harder, and leaned against the cement wall of the courtyard, crying and shaking. "I hate you." She repeated this over and over again as Hyde stood in shock, not sure of how to handle the girl breaking down in front of him.
He's never comforted anyone before, since no one had ever been there to comfort him, but it almost felt natural when he walked over to her, grabbing her arm softly and pulling him up towards him, wrapping both arms around her weak body.
"Get away from me." She said angrily, trying to resist him, but she was too upset and rattled to fight back and gave in, as he swayed them back and forth, whispering into her ear.
"It's ok." He repeated. "Shh, it's ok."
****************************
Jackie felt incredibly tired as she woke up, and sore from whatever it was she was sleeping on. She stood up slowly, taking in her surroundings. She was in a dark, cold room, on a hard, uncomfortable cot with springs that poked her legs. She sat up, shivering in her tee shirt and pajama pants. She spotted her sandals on the floor, and slipped her feet into them.
She couldn't remember much of what she did, besides break down in front of the one person she really didn't want to break down in front of.
"Hey." Hyde said softly as he walked into view, carrying a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. "Eat this." He handed it to Jackie, who devoured it quickly, since she hadn't eaten all day.
"What time is it?" Jackie asked cautiously, gulping down milk.
"It's almost ten." He said quietly. "I didn't want to wake you up..."
Jackie nodded in understanding and sighed. "Do the Forman's know I'm down here?"
"No." He said quietly. "No one knows."
"Good." Jackie nodded, finishing a cookie. "That's good."
"Jackie," He started slowly, "What happened?"
"I'm not sure." She sighed, "I've just been really stressed out."
Hyde nodded, "Why is your dad selling the house?"
"He said he needed to disappear." Jackie sighed again.
"And let me guess, you don't know what that means, do you?"
Jackie shook her head no, instantly worried.
"Jackie, that means your dad's in trouble." Hyde frowned. "That means you're not rich anymore."
Jackie covered her ears and closed her eyes, not wanting to hear anymore.
"Enough talking." She said. "Since when do we talk?" She leaned in suggestively, kissing his lips.
He inhaled her breath, which tasted like a mix of milk and chocolate, and cupped her cheeks in his hand as she continued to tease at him with his tongue.
"Hyde, man, where are you?" Eric's voice called, "Let's start up a circle before bed."
"Coming!" Hyde got out as he stood up. "You want to come?" He asked softly. "It's good for relieving stress."
"I should go home, figure out who I'm going to live with." Jackie looked at him sadly. "My dad gave me an ultimatum. I can go to Mexico with my mom or with him to Chicago."
"Oh." He shrugged. "That's cool, I mean, you'll be getting out of Point Place."
Jackie waited for him to continue but he didn't.
"I can't leave." Jackie enforced. "I have a life here."
"What's keeping you here, Jackie?" He asked knowingly. "There's nothing for you here. You should get out, make something of yourself."
"What about us?" Jackie asked angrily, recognizing his little game.
"What *about* us?"
"Grow up, Steven." She muttered. "You care about me. You think I don't realize what you're doing?"
"Jackie, I was just saying..."
"No." Jackie stormed out dismissively. Eric's head popped up from the couch, giving Jackie a goofy smile. Jackie just rolled her eyes and left.
"Man, what's her problem?" Eric called to Hyde.
"I'm the one with the problem, apparently." Hyde joked. "So, you ready to start up the circle?"
"Shouldn't you run after your girlfriend?" Eric laughed.
"She's not my girlfriend."
Chapter Sixteen: Jackie Breaks Down
Things were going smoothly for a while as Jackie and Hyde's clandestine make out sessions progressed. They basically avoided each other in school, out of fear of over riding temptation, but once the final bell rang, Jackie would race past Donna, skip cheerleading practice, and keep her guard up in the grungy alley. Hyde would always be there, acting as if he weren't waiting for her, as if he didn't care. But Jackie could see his hands jerk quickly and his eyes sparkle slightly, even behind his shades, as she would walk up to him, kissing him gently on the lips.
She didn't expect much out of him, not as much as she had from Kelso.
But little things he would do surprised her the most.
Like he would take her books from her hands, holding them while they walked up to her house. Or he would give her his jacket when the wind picked up. He even stopped smoking cigarettes around her after she complained about the smell they left on her new outfit.
Hyde always insisted they went straight to her house from the alley, after he wrapped up some business with Jack, he would pull Jackie along quickly up towards some of the back streets, towards a path that went straight across town, towards the Pavilion. Jackie, at first, liked this way, since he would sometimes wrap his arm around her waist and slide his hand into her pocket as she giggled on about the day's gossip. He would blow into her ear as they walked together, completely alone. But slowly Jackie realized that they were always alone. And every time she asked if he wanted to grab a bite to eat at the Hub, which was right there and no inconvenience at all, he would just grunt and pull her along towards the back of the alley. She was pretty sure he was embarrassed to be seen with her, but a part of her was embarrassed as well, so she didn't really think much of it.
They went though this routine, each day. No one was home, except for Lucy and the other maids, who turned the other way when Jackie brought home the grungy, but polite stranger, running up with him to her room and locking the door. They wouldn't waste any time, getting right to the point. And just as it came to the point of desperation and Jackie felt hot and tempted, Hyde would break away from her, explaining that he has to be home for dinner, or the Forman's would be pissed. Jackie would just nod, resting on her pillow as she watched him leave. She didn't bother to walk him down the stairs, he knew the way.
During the weekend, Jackie didn't see Hyde privately at all. She spent all day Saturday at the mall with Donna, discussing Eric and how since the dance he hasn't made any sort of initiative, which wasn't much of a shock to Jackie. On Sunday, she dropped by the basement, claiming that she had forgotten her favorite notebook from her last tutoring session with Eric. Only Fez and Eric were down there, and she figured that asking where Hyde was would be too conspicuous, so she told Eric to call her if she found it and hurried out of there. Of course, Jackie didn't know that Eric and Fez already knew about Jackie and Hyde. In fact, out of the basement gang, the only one who didn't know was Kelso. And although they never discussed it, since well, they don't do much discussing anyway, Jackie and Hyde both agreed that he couldn't find out. Not just yet.
Donna made harmless threats, telling Jackie that she would give her a week to tell Kelso, or else. But a week had passed and a brand new Monday was approaching, and Kelso was still as clueless as ever. Jackie hadn't seen Kelso since they decided to go on their break, but him and Pam would both be back in school today, seeing as how their suspension had been lifted. Jackie had no desire to go to school when she woke up on Monday morning, and had decided to stay home, feigning illness. She slept off the whole day, trying to not think of what a wimp she was for staying home, staying away from Kelso. She just wasn't sure what would happen if she saw him, what she would do, say...or what he would say or do. She knew that whatever she had with Steven was slowly maturing and she liked it, but she missed having a boyfriend, she missed being public with someone.
Jackie was stirred awake by a strong, firm hand on her shoulder and she sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes as her father's image came into focus.
He had come home from his extended business trip last night, at the stroke of midnight, but Jackie didn't even bother to greet him.
"Daddy?"
"How are you feeling, Jacqueline?"
Her father was the only one who still called her that, and sometimes it really bothered her. She just wasn't that girl anymore...
"Better." Jackie said quietly, stretching her arms out as she yawned.
"Sweetie, we need to talk."
Jackie knows that those words don't mean anything good, especially when coming out of a man. She sat up attentively, nodding for him to continue.
He sat down on the bed, placing his arm on hers. It felt awkward for them, seeing as how they had never been very affectionate in the first place.
"Jacqueline, I'm moving to Chicago." He said slowly, watching for her reaction.
"Did you get transferred?" Jackie asked quietly, since she knew that his term as senator had ended last fall and he had struck up his business again, though she wasn't sure what her father actually did.
"I just need to disappear for a while." Her father said quietly, averting his eyes to the ground.
Jackie didn't quite understand, "Disappear?"
"So you have a choice, Jacqueline." Her father started, "You can come with me," He paused, "Or you can join your mother in Mexico."
"Why can't I stay here?" Jackie asked nervously, clutching her knees. Her stomach began to ache.
"There won't be anyone here to take care of you." Her father said poignantly, standing up to leave the room.
Jackie quickly jumped off the bed, following her father with angry eyes.
"What about Lucy and the others?" Jackie cried sharply.
"I had to let them go."
"What?" Jackie's eyes bulged. "Why?"
"They were an unnecessary expense."
Jackie stood dumbfounded as the doorbell rang.
"Answer the door, Jacqueline." Her father said curtly, walking off towards the living room.
Jackie wiped her eyes angrily, stomping over to the door.
Oh god, she thought, not know, not when she's like this.
"Jackie, why weren't you at school today, are you ok?" Hyde tried to walk in, but Jackie put her hand up against his chest, instructing him to stop.
"I can't right now." She said bitterly. "You have to go."
"Is Kelso here?" He asked immediately, and Jackie furrowed her brow in annoyance.
"No."
"Jacqueline, who is it?" Her father's voice called hoarsely from the living room.
Jackie turned around, panic stricken, then turned back to Hyde, who of course didn't recognize the strange man's voice, and grew impatient, "Who is that?"
"Just leave!" She whispered harshly, pushing him out the door. "It's nobody!" Jackie screamed back towards the living room.
"Nobody?" Hyde mouthed, squinting his eyes vaguely at her. "Screw this." He let Jackie push him out completely and walked off towards the street, angrily.
Jackie sighed heavily as she shut the door and returned to her father, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Jacqueline, have you decided where you want to live?" Her father asked absentmindindly, as he flipped through a catalog.
"I want to live here." Jackie said quickly. "In our house."
"Well, you can't."
Jackie Burkhart always got what she wanted, and she quickly put up a tearful face, thought it wasn't too hard to conjure up this time, crying and protesting like she had started to all those years ago.
"But Daddy," She cried. "All my friends are here! And my school and I love it here!"
Her father sighed, looking at her with a tired glare, "That isn't going to work this time, Jacqueline."
Jackie stopped crying and stared at her father, nervously.
She couldn't leave. She couldn't leave him. She...
"I'm not leaving our house!" Jackie shrieked, and began to cry all over again.
"Well, it's not up for negotiation because as of next week, it won't be ours anymore." He bit his lip furiously, staring down at Jackie, since he had stood up in front of her while she whined.
"What are you saying?" Jackie asked peevishly.
"I'm selling the house." Her father said quietly. "Now either you are coming with me to Chicago tonight or you can fly to your mother tomorrow. Make your choice, Jacqueline, I don't have all god damn day." He yelled bitterly, taking his seat back and flipping through the magazine again.
"Don't I have another option?" Jackie asked quietly, between muffled cries.
"Sure," He laughed. "You can stay in this stupid town and live off the streets."
Jackie opened her eyes wide, staring at her pathetic excuse for a father.
"I made my choice, then." Jackie said loudly, running out of the living room and out the door.
She hoped to god that he was still close, but instinct told her to go elsewhere. She found herself by the old courtyard gates of the Elementary school gates, their special place. She slipped inside, and walked over to him slowly, where he was lying down on the grass, staring at the already darkening sky.
"Steven," She began, keeping her tears back.
"Nobody's here." He said lamely, crossing his arms against his chest.
Jackie sat down on the bench, which was a few feet from him, sobbing quietly enough so that he couldn't hear.
"My dad came home." She said loudly, her voice cracking.
She watched him, but he didn't move.
"He fired the help." She stared at him, wishing for comfort.
"Boo hoo, you'll actually have to make your own bed now." He muttered.
"He's selling the house." Jackie continued.
Hyde turned to face her and sat up, finally noticing that she looked incredibly disheveled and tired, sore and upset. She was crying, her tight gray tee shirt had darkened, wet spots from where her tears had been landing. She placed her head in her hands, crying harder, deeming it hopeless. She got up to leave, but turned back to him.
"I hate you!" She screamed randomly, surprising the both of him. "So much happens to you and you don't ever get upset. I'm always alone, I'm always lonely, I'm always crying, but you just shrug it off. Nothing gets to you. It's not fair." She began to sob harder, and leaned against the cement wall of the courtyard, crying and shaking. "I hate you." She repeated this over and over again as Hyde stood in shock, not sure of how to handle the girl breaking down in front of him.
He's never comforted anyone before, since no one had ever been there to comfort him, but it almost felt natural when he walked over to her, grabbing her arm softly and pulling him up towards him, wrapping both arms around her weak body.
"Get away from me." She said angrily, trying to resist him, but she was too upset and rattled to fight back and gave in, as he swayed them back and forth, whispering into her ear.
"It's ok." He repeated. "Shh, it's ok."
****************************
Jackie felt incredibly tired as she woke up, and sore from whatever it was she was sleeping on. She stood up slowly, taking in her surroundings. She was in a dark, cold room, on a hard, uncomfortable cot with springs that poked her legs. She sat up, shivering in her tee shirt and pajama pants. She spotted her sandals on the floor, and slipped her feet into them.
She couldn't remember much of what she did, besides break down in front of the one person she really didn't want to break down in front of.
"Hey." Hyde said softly as he walked into view, carrying a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. "Eat this." He handed it to Jackie, who devoured it quickly, since she hadn't eaten all day.
"What time is it?" Jackie asked cautiously, gulping down milk.
"It's almost ten." He said quietly. "I didn't want to wake you up..."
Jackie nodded in understanding and sighed. "Do the Forman's know I'm down here?"
"No." He said quietly. "No one knows."
"Good." Jackie nodded, finishing a cookie. "That's good."
"Jackie," He started slowly, "What happened?"
"I'm not sure." She sighed, "I've just been really stressed out."
Hyde nodded, "Why is your dad selling the house?"
"He said he needed to disappear." Jackie sighed again.
"And let me guess, you don't know what that means, do you?"
Jackie shook her head no, instantly worried.
"Jackie, that means your dad's in trouble." Hyde frowned. "That means you're not rich anymore."
Jackie covered her ears and closed her eyes, not wanting to hear anymore.
"Enough talking." She said. "Since when do we talk?" She leaned in suggestively, kissing his lips.
He inhaled her breath, which tasted like a mix of milk and chocolate, and cupped her cheeks in his hand as she continued to tease at him with his tongue.
"Hyde, man, where are you?" Eric's voice called, "Let's start up a circle before bed."
"Coming!" Hyde got out as he stood up. "You want to come?" He asked softly. "It's good for relieving stress."
"I should go home, figure out who I'm going to live with." Jackie looked at him sadly. "My dad gave me an ultimatum. I can go to Mexico with my mom or with him to Chicago."
"Oh." He shrugged. "That's cool, I mean, you'll be getting out of Point Place."
Jackie waited for him to continue but he didn't.
"I can't leave." Jackie enforced. "I have a life here."
"What's keeping you here, Jackie?" He asked knowingly. "There's nothing for you here. You should get out, make something of yourself."
"What about us?" Jackie asked angrily, recognizing his little game.
"What *about* us?"
"Grow up, Steven." She muttered. "You care about me. You think I don't realize what you're doing?"
"Jackie, I was just saying..."
"No." Jackie stormed out dismissively. Eric's head popped up from the couch, giving Jackie a goofy smile. Jackie just rolled her eyes and left.
"Man, what's her problem?" Eric called to Hyde.
"I'm the one with the problem, apparently." Hyde joked. "So, you ready to start up the circle?"
"Shouldn't you run after your girlfriend?" Eric laughed.
"She's not my girlfriend."