A/N: I'm so exited to see what you think of this chapter! I know for sure
that it's gonna be a shocker. Enjoy!
Oh, and thank you everyone who reviewed! I love you; each and every one of them makes my day. Keep reviewing!
Shayley Rain: Oh, and don't you love them. Don't worry, more questions yet to come!
Dark Silhouette: Is this one long enough? Don't cry! * Gives you next chapter to blow nose on. Oops! *
Blue-la-shoo: Have I ever said that I absolutely love your reviews? And who knows who Melizia is . . . mwuhahaha. I hope you enjoy the site!
Wormy
$$$$$$$$
Tayli bolted up from her dreamless sleep, one hand automatically going to the dagger stowed underneath her pillow. Something had woken her up, the slightest sound in the enveloping darkness of her room. Her eyes roved around the room as they adjusted to the slight moonlight falling in through the crack in the curtains. Nothing seemed out of place, but-there! Something was moving in the darkness.
"Who's there?" She called, carefully extricating her legs from the sheets in case of a fight.
There was a frightened squeak, and then the bobbing glow of a lantern appeared out of nowhere, illuminating a pale, drawn face whose lines were etched in surprise and fear. "Please, m'Lady," the woman whispered in the characteristic Lubranier accent, "I din't mean to wake you!"
Tayli let out a breath of relief. It was one of the servants, no doubt coming through the passages and into her room in order to make a fire. She put the dagger back.
"It's alright. What time is it?"
"Almost dawn, m'Lady. I'm sorry, I've never woken anyone up before."
Tayli waved it off. "No, no, it's alright. I'm a light sleeper. And call me Tayli please. Do you need help?"
"Oh, no, m'L-Tayli. I'm fine."
The servant woman got on with her task as Tayli sat watching her in contemplating silence. "What's your name?"
"Annabella, Lady Tayli." She made a small curtsey from her place by the sputtering fire.
"Oh."
"Ah . . . beggin' your pardon, but was the bed not satisfac'try, Lady? We could put more pillows on it, or diff'rent sheets if you wish."
Tayli shuddered from her position on the floor. "No, please don't! I sleep better on the floor, actually. It's more like my bed at home." She was assaulted by another violent wave of homesickness, but she fought it down resolutely. It would not do to become emotional around a stranger.
There was a pause.
"Tell me about yourself, please."
"What should I say, Lady?"
Tayli grimaced at the title, but didn't say anything. "Anything. Do you have children? Do you like working here? How do your masters treat you?"
The woman smiled at her briefly over her shoulder, with a warm, motherly air before tending the fire again. "I have one daughter, Lady, a fine girl of nine. She works here too, a scullery maid in the kitchens. It's hard work, but we must get by, because it's just us nowadays. But the Lords and Ladies are kind an' treat us good, so I ain't complainin'." Annabella stood up, having successfully constructed a roaring fire, and dusted off the front of her skirt.
"I must be goin' now, if there's anythin' you need just pull the rope. The Lords and Ladies usually break their fast a few hours after dawn, in the smaller dinin' hall three doors to the left of the big Hall. Good mornin' to you, Lady Tayli." And she whisked away and was gone.
Tayli stared after her for a moment, bemused, and then sighed. She wouldn't be falling asleep again; she never did early in the morning. Besides, she probably would have woken up naturally in an hour or so, and she was well rested, even though she practically sank into the bed every time she moved- it was damned uncomfortable, there was no support at all. Cursed mattress, after an hour or so on it she'd moved her sheets onto the well-carpeted floor, and found it infinitely better. So what to do now?
^^^^^^^^
Twenty minutes later, Tayli was washed, dressed, and on her way to the stables. She smirked inwardly at the note she'd left for her 'traveling companions'.
To whoever has the sense to look for me: Out riding. I trust you to be able to take care of yourselves. I should be back by breakfast; if I'm not back by midday you can assume that something has happened. Tayli
She wouldn't leave until the sun came up, but there were enough tasks to be done until then: grooming, checking tack, feeding, seeing if Moonflight had severely injured any of the stable hands yet . . . No time to lose!
There were indeed a few stable hands up already when she walked in, cloak securely around her shoulders in the morning chill. She had her full, rather impressive array of weapons with her-besides the bow and arrows, which she'd left in her saddlebags. The soles of her boots barely made a sound as she crept up on the unknowing lad who was about to fill Moonflight's feedbox. Her horse, sensing the joke, stomped and bared his teeth ferociously at the boy, who was perhaps the only person working in the stables who hadn't been informed of the new horse's temperament. Just as he was about to step inside the box, Tayli spoke up from her spot right behind him.
"I wouldn't do that if I was you."
The lad jumped a foot in the air and spun round, scattering grain across the floor. When he saw Tayli, who'd practically materialized out of the shadows, he lost his precarious balance and fell back- right between Moonflight's hooves.
The big horse turned his face down so he could eye the boy, aware of his mistress' laughter and knowing that there was no threat in him. The lad gulped. Moonflight snuffled his face, showing enough teeth to let the lad know that if he moved, one of the lethal hooves on each side of him could become very dangerous.
It became too much for Tayli when Moonflight gently pulled at some of the boy's hair, watching his face contort into an odd sort of fearful amusement. She burst out laughing. Stepping inside the now-crowded stall as well, she patted Moonflight's neck, still chuckling helplessly. The horse immediately stopped and lipped her shoulder instead.
She stretched a hand out to help the dazed lad up. He grabbed it and scrambled away, looking between her and her horse as if there was something incredibly fishy going on. Then he felt his damp hair and, seeing the humor in the situation, grinned as well.
Tayli gestured him over.
"What's your name?" she asked, watching the laughing youth and noticing that he was older than he looked-the lad still had most of his growing to do.
He smiled. "I'm Jolan."
"Tayli. Do you work in the stables?"
"Since I was ten. That was five years a few months ago." Tayli nodded, impressed. He must really love horses to spend so much time with them-and then she noticed something.
"You're not from here, are you?" He looked surprised, but at the same time a shadow darkened his face.
"No. How did you guess?"
"You don't sound at all like a Lubranier."
The friendly youth sighed almost inaudibly. "You're right. I simply can't learn the accent; no matter how hard I try. And I do, really."
Tayli smiled gently. "I believe you." The she took his hand, which caught the youth off guard, and placed it suddenly under Moonflight's nose.
"Good," she stressed, speaking directly to the horse, who'd long familiarized himself with the command. Moonflight snorted and turned away, feigning disinterest. Which was actually a good sign. It was the reaction she'd come to expect from him, all others were worrying.
She smiled at Jolan. "He likes you. I hope you don't mind being made the only person he'll tolerate around him in the whole stable."
Jolan looked momentarily stunned, but then shook his head, taking in the sleek curves of the pristine horse's body. "No," he breathed. "I don't mind at all."
They talked a little longer before Jolan had to go back to his rounds. Tayli saddled up an eager Moonflight, and they rode out of the barn and into the beginnings of daylight.
^^^^^^^^
After a little over an hour of riding, always in sight of the Duke's residence, Tayli was very much aware that the parade the day before had taken them through a very nice district in the city. Granted, most of it was clean and bright, but there were a few small areas, mostly tucked up against Old Baldy, where the houses became noticeably poorer and the people somewhat dirtier.
She was riding on the edge of one now, savoring the sun's bright rays on her face, though her hood was up to keep the connection of a man's riding style and woman's face as private as possible. The poorer the area, the more people out and about, and there were certainly no deserted streets here. There were also little alleyways everywhere, usually ending at a back door to a pub or at something that strongly resembled a neighborhood trash pile, populated with stray dogs and sometimes a cat.
Tayli hated cities, the crowds and jostling buildings always managed to make her uncomfortable. And in those small poor districts where the rich never ventured, she felt her hatred of them rise into choking bile at the back of her throat. She pitied these poor people, because somehow she knew that few ever made it out of their poverty. And she couldn't help wondering what was being done about it.
But that wasn't any of her business. Best to leave the running of things to those that knew how, the reasonable part of her mind argued. She nodded in agreement with it and continued.
That was, until she heard the low cry and animalistic grunts coming from one of those side alleys. Unconsciously urging Moonflight to trot, she advanced on the sound.
What she saw brought back the wave of memories-vile hands, putrid breath, fighting helplessly, and the pain . . . And from it all, the rage rose, a thousand times as strong as what she'd shown Malay the night before, roaring in her ears and flooding her veins with white-hot fire. Her whole being was pulsing with the rage, and she was no longer Tayli, striving to control her anger-she was the anger, and it controlled her and she let it, using it to block the memories, block the pain.
In a daze of fury, she wheeled Moonflight round in a rearing pivot. Sent him charging down the passageway, pulling Kanai el' Kumme out of its sheath as she did so. The men turned around with grunts of surprise.
She watched time slow down as they tried unsuccessfully to flee, but it was too late. The rage was on Tayli-the time for retribution had come.
She had no mercy.
It was only when she had fulfilled her charge of justice that most of the fury left her, draining out of a now bloody Kanai. What she had done did not register, not yet. Instead, something else pulled at her. Carefully, she dismounted, wiping Kanai disdainfully on the tunic of one of the fallen men. Fallen at her hand. But that did not matter now.
Instead, she sheathed the blade and approached the shaking form huddled against a wall a few yards away. She recognized the fear and pain and humiliation in the girl's eyes, the blood and other signs of a clearly painful beating to make her submit. Slowly, Tayli stepped closer and closer, her mouth forming soothing sounds she did not recognize. It was instinctive to say them.
She knelt by the girl's side and removed her cloak. The girl spared her one look of utter gratitude and slight confusion before passing out.
Tayli frowned and quickly bundled the wounded girl in her cloak and picked her up. It could have been that she was too light, or that Tayli was too strong-either way, it was not a very good sign.
Moonflight had taken the respite to turn around and now came up behind her. Mounting was awkward with the uncooperative bundle of girl and cloak in her arms. Sighing slightly, Tayli settled herself in the saddle and positioned the girl in her arms so that she could still steer Moonflight.
The daze of what she'd done-killed, twice, in the space of a few seconds and without remorse, was starting to lift, but it was driven away by the concern for the tear-streaked face and its unconscious owner in her arms.
Tayli steered Moonflight out of the alley, leaving the bodies for what they were, and turned his nose to the manor, knowing that a healer was needed, and soon. She nudged him into a flowing canter, thoughts split between anxiety and determination. This one would not be like her.
^^^^^^^^
Jolan heard the thunder of hooves nearby and ran out of the stables to look. Maybe it was one of the messengers that sometimes came for the Duke, always bearing important news.
But it was not a messenger, he saw, as Moonflight's smooth, black form burst through the guards, who moved aside just in time. Tayli was astride him, with a bundle in her arms that looked suspiciously like an unconscious person wrapped in her black cloak.
He approached hurriedly, catching Moonflight's bridle as he tossed his head and pranced at the sudden stop. Looking around wildly, Tayli caught sight of him and commanded in a tense, military-like voice which he didn't dare disobey,
"Jolan! Take care of Moonflight." Carefully, she slid the bundle-which he now saw was a girl around his own age-into his waiting arms and dismounted. Then she took it from him again and set off at a run towards the manor.
"You!" he vaguely heard her snap at a passing servant, "Send a healer to my rooms! Prince Terian's party. And I'll personally damn you if it's a man!"
There was such anger on her face. Anger, and pain, and compassion. A jerk on his arm startled him out of his thoughts, and he hurried to see to Moonflight, stroking his nose reassuringly. Horses had a tendency to mirror their rider's feelings. Looking back over his shoulder worriedly, Jolan led the nervous horse away, still wondering.
^^^^^^^^
There were still only a few knights and Terian clustered around the fire when Tayli exploded through the door, panting slightly. They looked up, gaping, as one man, but she only addressed them in passing.
"Send any female healer that comes into my room."
Striding into her own chamber, she carefully laid her precious burden down on the bed, leaving her folded in the heavy woolen cloak. It was best not to meddle when she did not know what was best for the lass. Hurrying to the bathroom, she brought over the basin and pitcher of water, careful not to spill any. Then, remembering the servant that morning, she gave the bell pull a vicious tug.
It only took a few anxious minutes before there was a patter of feet by the wall and then the hidden door swung open, revealing a flustered looking Annabella.
"You called, m'Lady?"
Tayli turned around and nodded grimly. "Get me whatever a healer might need to deal with a case like this."
"And what is it, Lady?"
Tayli stared her in the eye levelly. "Rape. Go." Annabella gasped and was off as fast as her feet could carry her.
It took only ten minutes until the healer was there, looking as if she'd been pulled out of bed in a moment's time. Tayli greeted her with a curt nod, and then shut the door on the curious male faces peering in.
She motioned the woman over. "She's been raped," she said, and it was almost a military report how she said it, but there was pain and compassion laced in with the words. "And beaten too, I believe."
The woman gasped in sympathy and then set about her business, most of which was entirely strange to Tayli. She unwrapped the ever-useful cloak and peeled away any clothing the girl still had on. Then she set about cleaning the lass' injuries, especially the one that no one could ever really recover from. She soothed the wounds, and carefully prepared a sleeping and healing tea, with Annabella's aid, and poured it down the unconscious girl's throat. She fussed a little, tucking her into bed and putting some more tea aside, 'just in case'.
Tayli had been staying well out of the way during the whole episode, and she accepted the healer's instructions with gratitude. Annabella, also, was thanked warmly, and the servant woman flushed in pleasure. And then Tayli was left alone, alone with the one who was suffering as she had.
^^^^^^^^
During the hours that she stayed by the lass' side, Tayli had talked to the Duke, Sir Michael, and Rafe. Rafe had looked at her with pity and compassion in his eyes, but she'd subtly made it clear that her concern was not for herself at the moment.
The Duke had been more blunt when she'd told her story. "You know that I could have you tried for murder." But Tayli had used the time before they came to come to terms with the deaths of the rapists; she felt no remorse. It was what they'd deserved, their rightful punishment. Justice was carried out.
"My Lord, I know well that the penalty for rape is death. I did nothing but what was needed." With a precision bred into her by the Kiin, she'd detailed the location of the alley the fateful event had happened in. Later, Rafe had come to tell her that the two were wanted bandits even before she and the Prince's party had come to Lubran. He'd held her tightly for a few minutes, knowing the pain and memories that she was going through on her own.
But Tayli never shed a tear at the memories. Oh, the memories. Pain, crying, pleading, heat, the stench of sweaty bodies, weight, struggling as best she could, the horrible knowledge of what they would do, the humiliation, the pain that surpassed them all. Oh, how she hated reliving it, confronting the past, but she had no choice. It was forced upon her, pushed to the forefront of her mind from its lurking spot at the back. She wished she could have given those men the same fate she'd brought onto the lass' attackers.
She didn't eat; her appetite was completely gone.
It was only hours later, when the girl stirred, that Tayli roused herself enough to brush a hand across her brow soothingly. The lass looked at her in confusion for a moment, and then she saw the memories and recognition burst into the clear grey eye looking at her. Eye, because the other was covered by thick bangs hanging down over her face.
Suddenly, the girl sobbed and grabbed onto her, and Tayli, startled, wondered awkwardly for a moment what she should do. But she remembered how Rafe had held her, and Michael, and the housekeeper when she'd woken up at night screaming. And she held this girl as they had her, stroking her back and making soothing noises in her throat.
After a long while, the girl calmed down and looked at her with teary eyes.
"I'm Tayli," Tayli said gently, trying to soothe the shaken girl.
There was a trembling smile. "Thank you for saving me. I'm Yana." Then, as if saying that made it all come crashing down again, her face crumpled into a mask of despair. "What am I going to do? I'm ruined; no one will want me now. And I don't know if I want myself . . . it hurt so bad, so bad . . ."
"Hush," Tayli murmured. Then her voice took on a bitter cast. "You'll get over it. After all, I did."
Yana looked up at her in astonishment. "You . . . they-they did it to you too?"
"Oh, yes it happened to me too," Tayli said, voice angry and harsh. "When I was thirteen. How old are you, Yana?" 16, was the answer. "Ah, yes. That's what I thought. I was younger than you, then."
She gazed off into space, remembering. Yana shook her slightly. "Tell me."
Tayli sighed. "I was going into the city with my adopted brother. He had business to attend to, he said, and he trusted me to stay in the market while he was inside one of the taverns. I didn't. I wandered off, going randomly from place to place." She smiled wryly through the pain in her voice. "Thirteen is not an age when people do as they're told. I ended up completely lost, and in a seedier part of town than the market. I was scared; I had only a dagger with me-we hadn't seen the need for anything big.
They caught me then. Two big men-I was no match for them. Now, I would be, but not then. They dragged me away and. . ." She gulped, unable to continue. "If you can imagine what you feel like now, and apply it to a proud, angry thirteen-year-old, you'll get maybe half of what I was feeling then. I cried afterwards, cried for a long time. I suppose that I managed to find Rafe again, but I honestly don't remember, I was in such a daze.
What I do remember was crying again, and the pain, the nightmares. And the anger. I've always had the anger; I think I was born with more of it than other people. And then it grew into such a cold fury that it almost consumed me in my desire for revenge. I managed to control it in time, with help. I might not have. But even then, I shut myself off, blocked all strangers, rarely smiled, living in my own small world. It got even smaller when Rafe left the next year.
You have to learn to cope, Yana. Don't end up bitter and angry like me-it's not the right way. I'll help you, but you must understand that. You're not less worthy. You're more, because you can survive this test of your strength. And survive it well, as I did not." Her voice shaking, Tayli turned away and went to the window, where the first tears she'd cried in a very long time traced their way down her cheeks.
^^^^^^^^
Terian padded away from the crack in the door, shell-shocked. He knew he'd have been detected if Tayli had been paying attention, but she hadn't and he hadn't.
But he was angry and a little afraid. Why had no one informed him that life could take such nasty turns with perfectly innocent people? He would never have dreamed that the reason behind Tayli's cold demeanor and fearful rage was rape. Never.
It was his first glimpse of reality.
Oh, and thank you everyone who reviewed! I love you; each and every one of them makes my day. Keep reviewing!
Shayley Rain: Oh, and don't you love them. Don't worry, more questions yet to come!
Dark Silhouette: Is this one long enough? Don't cry! * Gives you next chapter to blow nose on. Oops! *
Blue-la-shoo: Have I ever said that I absolutely love your reviews? And who knows who Melizia is . . . mwuhahaha. I hope you enjoy the site!
Wormy
$$$$$$$$
Tayli bolted up from her dreamless sleep, one hand automatically going to the dagger stowed underneath her pillow. Something had woken her up, the slightest sound in the enveloping darkness of her room. Her eyes roved around the room as they adjusted to the slight moonlight falling in through the crack in the curtains. Nothing seemed out of place, but-there! Something was moving in the darkness.
"Who's there?" She called, carefully extricating her legs from the sheets in case of a fight.
There was a frightened squeak, and then the bobbing glow of a lantern appeared out of nowhere, illuminating a pale, drawn face whose lines were etched in surprise and fear. "Please, m'Lady," the woman whispered in the characteristic Lubranier accent, "I din't mean to wake you!"
Tayli let out a breath of relief. It was one of the servants, no doubt coming through the passages and into her room in order to make a fire. She put the dagger back.
"It's alright. What time is it?"
"Almost dawn, m'Lady. I'm sorry, I've never woken anyone up before."
Tayli waved it off. "No, no, it's alright. I'm a light sleeper. And call me Tayli please. Do you need help?"
"Oh, no, m'L-Tayli. I'm fine."
The servant woman got on with her task as Tayli sat watching her in contemplating silence. "What's your name?"
"Annabella, Lady Tayli." She made a small curtsey from her place by the sputtering fire.
"Oh."
"Ah . . . beggin' your pardon, but was the bed not satisfac'try, Lady? We could put more pillows on it, or diff'rent sheets if you wish."
Tayli shuddered from her position on the floor. "No, please don't! I sleep better on the floor, actually. It's more like my bed at home." She was assaulted by another violent wave of homesickness, but she fought it down resolutely. It would not do to become emotional around a stranger.
There was a pause.
"Tell me about yourself, please."
"What should I say, Lady?"
Tayli grimaced at the title, but didn't say anything. "Anything. Do you have children? Do you like working here? How do your masters treat you?"
The woman smiled at her briefly over her shoulder, with a warm, motherly air before tending the fire again. "I have one daughter, Lady, a fine girl of nine. She works here too, a scullery maid in the kitchens. It's hard work, but we must get by, because it's just us nowadays. But the Lords and Ladies are kind an' treat us good, so I ain't complainin'." Annabella stood up, having successfully constructed a roaring fire, and dusted off the front of her skirt.
"I must be goin' now, if there's anythin' you need just pull the rope. The Lords and Ladies usually break their fast a few hours after dawn, in the smaller dinin' hall three doors to the left of the big Hall. Good mornin' to you, Lady Tayli." And she whisked away and was gone.
Tayli stared after her for a moment, bemused, and then sighed. She wouldn't be falling asleep again; she never did early in the morning. Besides, she probably would have woken up naturally in an hour or so, and she was well rested, even though she practically sank into the bed every time she moved- it was damned uncomfortable, there was no support at all. Cursed mattress, after an hour or so on it she'd moved her sheets onto the well-carpeted floor, and found it infinitely better. So what to do now?
^^^^^^^^
Twenty minutes later, Tayli was washed, dressed, and on her way to the stables. She smirked inwardly at the note she'd left for her 'traveling companions'.
To whoever has the sense to look for me: Out riding. I trust you to be able to take care of yourselves. I should be back by breakfast; if I'm not back by midday you can assume that something has happened. Tayli
She wouldn't leave until the sun came up, but there were enough tasks to be done until then: grooming, checking tack, feeding, seeing if Moonflight had severely injured any of the stable hands yet . . . No time to lose!
There were indeed a few stable hands up already when she walked in, cloak securely around her shoulders in the morning chill. She had her full, rather impressive array of weapons with her-besides the bow and arrows, which she'd left in her saddlebags. The soles of her boots barely made a sound as she crept up on the unknowing lad who was about to fill Moonflight's feedbox. Her horse, sensing the joke, stomped and bared his teeth ferociously at the boy, who was perhaps the only person working in the stables who hadn't been informed of the new horse's temperament. Just as he was about to step inside the box, Tayli spoke up from her spot right behind him.
"I wouldn't do that if I was you."
The lad jumped a foot in the air and spun round, scattering grain across the floor. When he saw Tayli, who'd practically materialized out of the shadows, he lost his precarious balance and fell back- right between Moonflight's hooves.
The big horse turned his face down so he could eye the boy, aware of his mistress' laughter and knowing that there was no threat in him. The lad gulped. Moonflight snuffled his face, showing enough teeth to let the lad know that if he moved, one of the lethal hooves on each side of him could become very dangerous.
It became too much for Tayli when Moonflight gently pulled at some of the boy's hair, watching his face contort into an odd sort of fearful amusement. She burst out laughing. Stepping inside the now-crowded stall as well, she patted Moonflight's neck, still chuckling helplessly. The horse immediately stopped and lipped her shoulder instead.
She stretched a hand out to help the dazed lad up. He grabbed it and scrambled away, looking between her and her horse as if there was something incredibly fishy going on. Then he felt his damp hair and, seeing the humor in the situation, grinned as well.
Tayli gestured him over.
"What's your name?" she asked, watching the laughing youth and noticing that he was older than he looked-the lad still had most of his growing to do.
He smiled. "I'm Jolan."
"Tayli. Do you work in the stables?"
"Since I was ten. That was five years a few months ago." Tayli nodded, impressed. He must really love horses to spend so much time with them-and then she noticed something.
"You're not from here, are you?" He looked surprised, but at the same time a shadow darkened his face.
"No. How did you guess?"
"You don't sound at all like a Lubranier."
The friendly youth sighed almost inaudibly. "You're right. I simply can't learn the accent; no matter how hard I try. And I do, really."
Tayli smiled gently. "I believe you." The she took his hand, which caught the youth off guard, and placed it suddenly under Moonflight's nose.
"Good," she stressed, speaking directly to the horse, who'd long familiarized himself with the command. Moonflight snorted and turned away, feigning disinterest. Which was actually a good sign. It was the reaction she'd come to expect from him, all others were worrying.
She smiled at Jolan. "He likes you. I hope you don't mind being made the only person he'll tolerate around him in the whole stable."
Jolan looked momentarily stunned, but then shook his head, taking in the sleek curves of the pristine horse's body. "No," he breathed. "I don't mind at all."
They talked a little longer before Jolan had to go back to his rounds. Tayli saddled up an eager Moonflight, and they rode out of the barn and into the beginnings of daylight.
^^^^^^^^
After a little over an hour of riding, always in sight of the Duke's residence, Tayli was very much aware that the parade the day before had taken them through a very nice district in the city. Granted, most of it was clean and bright, but there were a few small areas, mostly tucked up against Old Baldy, where the houses became noticeably poorer and the people somewhat dirtier.
She was riding on the edge of one now, savoring the sun's bright rays on her face, though her hood was up to keep the connection of a man's riding style and woman's face as private as possible. The poorer the area, the more people out and about, and there were certainly no deserted streets here. There were also little alleyways everywhere, usually ending at a back door to a pub or at something that strongly resembled a neighborhood trash pile, populated with stray dogs and sometimes a cat.
Tayli hated cities, the crowds and jostling buildings always managed to make her uncomfortable. And in those small poor districts where the rich never ventured, she felt her hatred of them rise into choking bile at the back of her throat. She pitied these poor people, because somehow she knew that few ever made it out of their poverty. And she couldn't help wondering what was being done about it.
But that wasn't any of her business. Best to leave the running of things to those that knew how, the reasonable part of her mind argued. She nodded in agreement with it and continued.
That was, until she heard the low cry and animalistic grunts coming from one of those side alleys. Unconsciously urging Moonflight to trot, she advanced on the sound.
What she saw brought back the wave of memories-vile hands, putrid breath, fighting helplessly, and the pain . . . And from it all, the rage rose, a thousand times as strong as what she'd shown Malay the night before, roaring in her ears and flooding her veins with white-hot fire. Her whole being was pulsing with the rage, and she was no longer Tayli, striving to control her anger-she was the anger, and it controlled her and she let it, using it to block the memories, block the pain.
In a daze of fury, she wheeled Moonflight round in a rearing pivot. Sent him charging down the passageway, pulling Kanai el' Kumme out of its sheath as she did so. The men turned around with grunts of surprise.
She watched time slow down as they tried unsuccessfully to flee, but it was too late. The rage was on Tayli-the time for retribution had come.
She had no mercy.
It was only when she had fulfilled her charge of justice that most of the fury left her, draining out of a now bloody Kanai. What she had done did not register, not yet. Instead, something else pulled at her. Carefully, she dismounted, wiping Kanai disdainfully on the tunic of one of the fallen men. Fallen at her hand. But that did not matter now.
Instead, she sheathed the blade and approached the shaking form huddled against a wall a few yards away. She recognized the fear and pain and humiliation in the girl's eyes, the blood and other signs of a clearly painful beating to make her submit. Slowly, Tayli stepped closer and closer, her mouth forming soothing sounds she did not recognize. It was instinctive to say them.
She knelt by the girl's side and removed her cloak. The girl spared her one look of utter gratitude and slight confusion before passing out.
Tayli frowned and quickly bundled the wounded girl in her cloak and picked her up. It could have been that she was too light, or that Tayli was too strong-either way, it was not a very good sign.
Moonflight had taken the respite to turn around and now came up behind her. Mounting was awkward with the uncooperative bundle of girl and cloak in her arms. Sighing slightly, Tayli settled herself in the saddle and positioned the girl in her arms so that she could still steer Moonflight.
The daze of what she'd done-killed, twice, in the space of a few seconds and without remorse, was starting to lift, but it was driven away by the concern for the tear-streaked face and its unconscious owner in her arms.
Tayli steered Moonflight out of the alley, leaving the bodies for what they were, and turned his nose to the manor, knowing that a healer was needed, and soon. She nudged him into a flowing canter, thoughts split between anxiety and determination. This one would not be like her.
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Jolan heard the thunder of hooves nearby and ran out of the stables to look. Maybe it was one of the messengers that sometimes came for the Duke, always bearing important news.
But it was not a messenger, he saw, as Moonflight's smooth, black form burst through the guards, who moved aside just in time. Tayli was astride him, with a bundle in her arms that looked suspiciously like an unconscious person wrapped in her black cloak.
He approached hurriedly, catching Moonflight's bridle as he tossed his head and pranced at the sudden stop. Looking around wildly, Tayli caught sight of him and commanded in a tense, military-like voice which he didn't dare disobey,
"Jolan! Take care of Moonflight." Carefully, she slid the bundle-which he now saw was a girl around his own age-into his waiting arms and dismounted. Then she took it from him again and set off at a run towards the manor.
"You!" he vaguely heard her snap at a passing servant, "Send a healer to my rooms! Prince Terian's party. And I'll personally damn you if it's a man!"
There was such anger on her face. Anger, and pain, and compassion. A jerk on his arm startled him out of his thoughts, and he hurried to see to Moonflight, stroking his nose reassuringly. Horses had a tendency to mirror their rider's feelings. Looking back over his shoulder worriedly, Jolan led the nervous horse away, still wondering.
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There were still only a few knights and Terian clustered around the fire when Tayli exploded through the door, panting slightly. They looked up, gaping, as one man, but she only addressed them in passing.
"Send any female healer that comes into my room."
Striding into her own chamber, she carefully laid her precious burden down on the bed, leaving her folded in the heavy woolen cloak. It was best not to meddle when she did not know what was best for the lass. Hurrying to the bathroom, she brought over the basin and pitcher of water, careful not to spill any. Then, remembering the servant that morning, she gave the bell pull a vicious tug.
It only took a few anxious minutes before there was a patter of feet by the wall and then the hidden door swung open, revealing a flustered looking Annabella.
"You called, m'Lady?"
Tayli turned around and nodded grimly. "Get me whatever a healer might need to deal with a case like this."
"And what is it, Lady?"
Tayli stared her in the eye levelly. "Rape. Go." Annabella gasped and was off as fast as her feet could carry her.
It took only ten minutes until the healer was there, looking as if she'd been pulled out of bed in a moment's time. Tayli greeted her with a curt nod, and then shut the door on the curious male faces peering in.
She motioned the woman over. "She's been raped," she said, and it was almost a military report how she said it, but there was pain and compassion laced in with the words. "And beaten too, I believe."
The woman gasped in sympathy and then set about her business, most of which was entirely strange to Tayli. She unwrapped the ever-useful cloak and peeled away any clothing the girl still had on. Then she set about cleaning the lass' injuries, especially the one that no one could ever really recover from. She soothed the wounds, and carefully prepared a sleeping and healing tea, with Annabella's aid, and poured it down the unconscious girl's throat. She fussed a little, tucking her into bed and putting some more tea aside, 'just in case'.
Tayli had been staying well out of the way during the whole episode, and she accepted the healer's instructions with gratitude. Annabella, also, was thanked warmly, and the servant woman flushed in pleasure. And then Tayli was left alone, alone with the one who was suffering as she had.
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During the hours that she stayed by the lass' side, Tayli had talked to the Duke, Sir Michael, and Rafe. Rafe had looked at her with pity and compassion in his eyes, but she'd subtly made it clear that her concern was not for herself at the moment.
The Duke had been more blunt when she'd told her story. "You know that I could have you tried for murder." But Tayli had used the time before they came to come to terms with the deaths of the rapists; she felt no remorse. It was what they'd deserved, their rightful punishment. Justice was carried out.
"My Lord, I know well that the penalty for rape is death. I did nothing but what was needed." With a precision bred into her by the Kiin, she'd detailed the location of the alley the fateful event had happened in. Later, Rafe had come to tell her that the two were wanted bandits even before she and the Prince's party had come to Lubran. He'd held her tightly for a few minutes, knowing the pain and memories that she was going through on her own.
But Tayli never shed a tear at the memories. Oh, the memories. Pain, crying, pleading, heat, the stench of sweaty bodies, weight, struggling as best she could, the horrible knowledge of what they would do, the humiliation, the pain that surpassed them all. Oh, how she hated reliving it, confronting the past, but she had no choice. It was forced upon her, pushed to the forefront of her mind from its lurking spot at the back. She wished she could have given those men the same fate she'd brought onto the lass' attackers.
She didn't eat; her appetite was completely gone.
It was only hours later, when the girl stirred, that Tayli roused herself enough to brush a hand across her brow soothingly. The lass looked at her in confusion for a moment, and then she saw the memories and recognition burst into the clear grey eye looking at her. Eye, because the other was covered by thick bangs hanging down over her face.
Suddenly, the girl sobbed and grabbed onto her, and Tayli, startled, wondered awkwardly for a moment what she should do. But she remembered how Rafe had held her, and Michael, and the housekeeper when she'd woken up at night screaming. And she held this girl as they had her, stroking her back and making soothing noises in her throat.
After a long while, the girl calmed down and looked at her with teary eyes.
"I'm Tayli," Tayli said gently, trying to soothe the shaken girl.
There was a trembling smile. "Thank you for saving me. I'm Yana." Then, as if saying that made it all come crashing down again, her face crumpled into a mask of despair. "What am I going to do? I'm ruined; no one will want me now. And I don't know if I want myself . . . it hurt so bad, so bad . . ."
"Hush," Tayli murmured. Then her voice took on a bitter cast. "You'll get over it. After all, I did."
Yana looked up at her in astonishment. "You . . . they-they did it to you too?"
"Oh, yes it happened to me too," Tayli said, voice angry and harsh. "When I was thirteen. How old are you, Yana?" 16, was the answer. "Ah, yes. That's what I thought. I was younger than you, then."
She gazed off into space, remembering. Yana shook her slightly. "Tell me."
Tayli sighed. "I was going into the city with my adopted brother. He had business to attend to, he said, and he trusted me to stay in the market while he was inside one of the taverns. I didn't. I wandered off, going randomly from place to place." She smiled wryly through the pain in her voice. "Thirteen is not an age when people do as they're told. I ended up completely lost, and in a seedier part of town than the market. I was scared; I had only a dagger with me-we hadn't seen the need for anything big.
They caught me then. Two big men-I was no match for them. Now, I would be, but not then. They dragged me away and. . ." She gulped, unable to continue. "If you can imagine what you feel like now, and apply it to a proud, angry thirteen-year-old, you'll get maybe half of what I was feeling then. I cried afterwards, cried for a long time. I suppose that I managed to find Rafe again, but I honestly don't remember, I was in such a daze.
What I do remember was crying again, and the pain, the nightmares. And the anger. I've always had the anger; I think I was born with more of it than other people. And then it grew into such a cold fury that it almost consumed me in my desire for revenge. I managed to control it in time, with help. I might not have. But even then, I shut myself off, blocked all strangers, rarely smiled, living in my own small world. It got even smaller when Rafe left the next year.
You have to learn to cope, Yana. Don't end up bitter and angry like me-it's not the right way. I'll help you, but you must understand that. You're not less worthy. You're more, because you can survive this test of your strength. And survive it well, as I did not." Her voice shaking, Tayli turned away and went to the window, where the first tears she'd cried in a very long time traced their way down her cheeks.
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Terian padded away from the crack in the door, shell-shocked. He knew he'd have been detected if Tayli had been paying attention, but she hadn't and he hadn't.
But he was angry and a little afraid. Why had no one informed him that life could take such nasty turns with perfectly innocent people? He would never have dreamed that the reason behind Tayli's cold demeanor and fearful rage was rape. Never.
It was his first glimpse of reality.