A/N: I'm back, my pretties! Such a long, long wait. I need consistency, honestly. Many, many months. Please forgive me!

Chapter #5: Rebecca

Now, Rebecca Annais Lupin was quite the normal girl.

To say 'normal', however, would be a very bold understatement. Now, to say that she was so normal, it roused suspicion, would not. By all means, she seemed happy, bubbly, pleasant, kind, helpful, and humble in every respect, given her wealthy upbringing and the fact that fortune simply ran in her gene pool.

But that was only how she was seen in public. That airy effeminate twitter could melt anyone at the knees, but it was, sadly, a deception. Her bouncy blond curls, clear amber eyes, and charming, genial personality was nothing short of an act; a mask to cover up flawed and unpleasant creature she really was.

To sum it all up without all of that nasty explanation, in Mr. Remus J. Lupin's unfortunate case, lycanthropy, either in one subtle way or another, ran in the family.

But it was a lychanthropy of a different nature.

And in that respect, Remus J. Lupin's reaction was in no way amplified, exaggerated, or even stretched.

To say it plainly, Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black had a lot to worry about.

--Meanwhile, at the Batcave--

Sirius prodded Remus tentatively with the wooden ladle he'd been using to cook dinner. He had every right to. Remus had been lying in bed for three days.

The room was dark and somber, curtains drawn tightly with little to no sunlight shining through and at different moments, Sirius could here Depeche Mode blaring through their closed bedroom door, which left him wondering, as he watched his bewitched broom sweep the kitchen floor brusquely, why he didn't realize Remus listened to Depeche Mode earlier.

He was quite sure Remus was an avid Opera fan. But, Sirius thought, he'd be hearing Verdi's Requiem blasting through the house in no time.

He'd been tidying up for the upcoming arrival of their newest guest, who, for some odd reason, seemed to strike the utmost loathing in Remus. It was enough loathing and dread to drive Lupin into their bedroom and burrow under the comforter, never to rise or glimpse the sunlight again. So troubled was he, that he didn't even rise to sniff the air when Sirius was fiddling with the pots and pans, from which he'd been banned, obviously attempting to scare up some supper. He assumed that everything was alright, seeing as, thirty minutes later, he did not hear any screams issuing from the neighborhood children or any approaching sirens.

Sirius moved to open the curtains and when the sun hit Remus's eyes, he recoiled with a hiss into his comforter. Sirius stared at the lump in his bed for a second and then walked over to it, gently lifting the corner of the blanket to reveal a sickly-looking werewolf with mussed hair and dark circles under his bloodshot eyes.

"Close the curtains!" Rasped the Lump of Remus.

"Now, Rem, darling, I want you to get out of bed and sit with me. Get a breath of fresh air."

"The world is an awful place, and that fresh air is dirty with Carbon Monoxide gas and other foul pollutants, there are people starving in foreign countries, there are killers walking the streets, trees are being chopped down, nature is dying, animals are being hunted for their pelts, people are being beaten in protests, the O-Zone layer is dying, we're all going to die and my sister is coming to visit. I'll stay in here and rot like a corpse and hope I'm numb when she finally gets here."

"Now, I don't see what's so wrong with Rebecca—,"

Somewhere far away, a raven screeched. Dogs were heard howling in the distance, a warning alarm of blood-curdling foreboding. The cats all over the neighborhood cried and mewled in warning. The trees whispered a song of dread and doom.

"Why the bloody hell does that keep happening?" Sirius asked.

--Rebecca--

Rebecca Lupin sniffed at the chill morning air as she boarded the train to Godric's Hollow. Normally, a witch such as herself wouldn't be caught dead taking muggle transportation, but this was a special occasion.

She had to take special precautions not to be seen parading around on her broom by any muggle folks, so she settled for the lesser means of transportation. But once she was able to settle into her comfortable compartment, she was at ease.

Muggle travel was not as horrible and disaster-ridden as she'd been told, though, she thought, wizard travel was much faster and a lot more efficient.

It was at least five in the morning, and it would take a good seven hours to reach her final destination, so Rebecca stretched out on the cushy bench of her compartment, failing to suppress a yawn, when, -poof-.

Laying there, in place of Rebecca Lupin was a worn man with a thin face and dark hair. The stubble across his chin was a good half an inch, his dark eyes bloodshot and heavy-lidded. His hair was mussed and out of place. He sneered out the window, glaring at the fast-moving countryside. "Muggle travel," he snorted, as he sat up.

He grunted upon looking at the dress he was wearing, all flowery and pink. The shoes were a bright, acid yellow, and the gloves tightly stretched around his large, rough hands were made of white lace.

"Doesn't this bloody woman know how to dress?" He snarled, snatching the frilly orange hat from atop his head. "She'd get less attention if she were playing Quidditch in the dining car…"

He was getting very tiered, he thought, though the clothing he ended up in was very restricting, he surpassed all obstacles and stretched out again, agile as a cat, over the soft velvet cushion.

"Keep your frilly clothing, wench, I'll come back when you have some decent garments on…" he said yawning.

Poof.

Rebecca Lupin was again reclining on the cushion as she had before, her hand politely over her mouth, lady-like and timid in her gestures. She laid her head on her hand bag, speaking wearily as she slipped off into sleep, "Quiet, you, I don't want to hear any complaints…"

Ooooohhh, suspense! So, she turns into a very unhappy man when she yawns. Who would've thunk it, eh?

Lollies for those who can guess what my lovely Rebecca Lupin was based on. I'll give you a clue: Most novice fan-fic writers (mostly women) make this mistake.

- The Absynth Fairy