Twenty Six: Shopping, Sleeping, S.A.T.
The rest of February passed in a blur of band, school, and being an idiot with Link. He was determined that she should play through Escape Velocity, a space age game that Zelda was rather enjoying. She was the pilot of a brand new shuttlecraft and was quite enjoying the game. She'd never forget Link's irritated summary the first time she'd asked "WHAT DO I DO?"
He'd flicked some of that beautiful wheat hair of his out of his eyes and exhaled, explaining for the second time in five minutes. "You have to make your way in the world, Zelda. You can buy or sell commodities or accept missions for special deliveries or do cool stuff like that. As you gain more money you can upgrade and explore more star systems and after that you can do whatever your heart pleases. You can get a battleship and join the rebels, you can join the confederacy, or you can become a pirate and fight only for yourself, or if you're a coward you can stick to shipping. How does that sound to you?"
"I want to be a pirate!"
The game was turning out a little harder than she had originally anticipated, and often proved to Zelda to be downright frustrating. ("Why?" Link would ask. "It's just simple shipping.")
Sometimes, Zelda didn't see how Link could stand to game as frequently as he did.
March made its chilly appearance and things slowly began to warm, bringing the temperature up from cool and uncomfortable to moist and tepid. And with the appearance of March, Zelda realized, several massive events would come about: Link would be seventeen very soon, Sheik would be appearing, she'd have to go home probably for a few days and prom would be right around the corner just after that.
No sir, it did not look like Zelda was going to have a very easy, empty March. First order of business, she decided, would be getting Link a present. So she walked over to Tael's house one damp Saturday morning and together, the two hopped a train and rode to the mall.
"I don't understand why we had to go early," Tael stated blearily, scratching his still-sleep rumpled hair. Zelda had all but dragged him from his bed, telling him to throw a shirt and some pants on over his rooster-print boxers, grab his shoes and wallet and get moving because they didn't have much time.
"Because Link crashed last night and I want to get home before he wakes up."
"Why'd you need me, huh?"
Zelda sighed in frustration. "Because you have a Y chromosome and I don't know what Y chromosomes like. Ugh," she grumbled. "Back in Napa at least I had someone to do all the difficult shopping for me."
"Why'd you leave Napa again?"
"My dad decided I'd need a normal upbringing. Let's go in here, Tael!"
"Zelda, I don't think Link needs shoes."
"….oh, yeah. Right."
Zelda allowed herself to be drawn away from the shoe store.
"Anyway, I didn't like it much there. I might have grown up spoiled and bloody rich there, yeah, but I was miserable. Everybody hated me for no better reason than I was a snotty little princess, or so they claimed."
"Were you a snotty little princess, though?" Tael asked, casting his ruddy eyes on Zelda. She blinked, and shrugged.
"I don't think so. I kept to myself, really, I think."
"Just prejudice, then?"
"You got it. Do you think he'd want something from Spencer's?"
Tael cast a rusty glance at the store. "Spencer's is all well and good, but unless you're gonna get him "Dick Tacs" or something he'll use against you, I'd say no."
"Hmmm…"
"Maybe you could get him something simple, like a shirt from Hot Topic or something. They've got a lot of music shirts there, maybe you could grab one there for him."
"Perhaps." It was a good idea- Zelda wondered why she never in a million years would have thought of it herself. Probably because she didn't much like shopping anyway, unless it was for herself. Whoops.
They walked to an escalator, and stepped on, yawning, allowing themselves to "magically" transcend the floors in the mall. Zelda leaned heavily on Tael's shoulder, causing him to squirm and squeak.
"Ow, Zelda, you're crushing me!"
"Are you calling me fat? Silence, freshman!"
Meekly, Tael obeyed. Zelda giggled and hugged her "little bro", causing him to squawk.
"You're squeezing me!"
"Shut up."
They stepped off the escalator and meandered towards Hot Topic- often, Tael would have to remind Zelda where they were going as she began to gravitate towards various stores.
"No, Zelda, you're not going to buy Link a pretty rhinestone thong for his birthday," Tael admonished as Zelda pressed her face against the glass of Victoria's Secret, eyeing the large "SALE" sign presented within. "You can come shopping some other time, but today we have to get to Hot Topic and get you back to your place before Link wakes up. I mean, unless you're going to buy lingerie to wear for him…"
Zelda smacked the "wee one", and instantly, Tael shut up. However, the little fishy did manage to drag a reluctant Zelda away from the store and across the wide catwalks to Hot Topic. Grinding rock assailed their ears as they entered, and Zelda wandered over to the wall full of T-shirts just as Tael started looking at a book called "Be Goth." She looked up and down the wall of clothes, thinking. What bands did Link like?
She left the store five minutes later with a large bag- inside was a Black Sabbath shirt, a Metallica shirt, a Beatles: Yellow Submarine shirt and a "DRACO MALFOY" Slytherin shirt. She was pretty sure Link would kill her for that last one, but she figured she could yoink it from him at any time and use it as a sleep shirt if he didn't wear it. Also for Link, Zelda had picked up a poster: THINGS YOU LEARN FROM VIDEOGAMES. All in all, she didn't think she'd done bad.
Tael had to drag Zelda past all the sales and out of the mall, but once they were out, the morning was nice. They sauntered along to the train station, sticking their tongues out at the street that led to their school, and once under the concrete train station overhang, they sat and talked merrily whilst they waited for their ride home.
"We look like negative images of each other, almost," Tael was telling Zelda as they sat and waited, "except she's several years younger than me, and also a girl. Sometimes she's impossible, but mostly, I love my sister."
"Her name's Tatl, right?"
"Right," Tael confirmed with a nod. "She's a bit younger than your not-so-sisters… whatstheirfaces."
"Saria and Jayda," Zelda offered.
"Yeah, Saria and Jayda. She sees Jayda when they're on the playground, though, and really looks up to her. I think it's funny."
"That's cute." Zelda smiled for a moment, and then turned, looking Tael up and down.
"You know, I'm not going to be an only child much longer."
"Oh?" His face twisted into an adorable mask of puppy-esque confusion.
"Yeah. My dad's getting married, and the woman he's getting married to has a son my age. He's actually coming to stay with us, too," Zelda added. "I mean, stay with Link's family. You'll like him, Sheik. He treats life like one big unbirthday party. Like in Alice in Wonderland. I wouldn't be surprised if he's the mad hatter in disguise."
"One thing's certain about that," Tael declared as they train pulled up.
"What?"
"He certainly is mad. And he likes hats."
Zelda tossed Tael an incredulous look as they boarded the train.
"Little brother, you're one strange small person that I will never understand."
"I try, oh magnetic one. I try."
"Don't you mean magnificent?"
"No. I mean magnetic. Like metal."
"Shut up."
&-
Zelda managed to get back home before sleeping beauty pulled himself out of his ritualistic coma. She hid the hot topic bag (in her underwear drawer, no less) and then sauntered into her frog prince's bedroom, plopping down at the end of his bed and watching for him to open his eyes.
It was a while waiting, but Zelda didn't mind. Link was interesting to watch when he slept, not to mention that she could never get her fill of looking at him. Normally animated with expressions raging from goofy euphoric highs to brooding anger, in Link's sleep, his expression was a clueless sort of stupid smile. How cute.
When Link finally opened his eyes, it was a slow fluttering motion, his dark lashes flitting upward for a moment before his face contorted into an expression of disgruntled and sleepy stupor. He squinted his eyes shut, threw a forearm over his head, and rolled on his side, burying his face in his pillow to escape the light.
Zelda very nearly cracked up.
"Hhnnnngh," it was a grunt, most probably directed at the great big ball of light trying to barge through Link's drawn blinds into his bedroom. "Gabfufkiiiihhhhhhhhhhhhh…" He was silent, facedown in his pillow.
Zelda put a hand against her mouth, trying to muffle her laughter. Link squirmed, pulling the pillow over his head, presumably muffling the sound. Zelda sighed, as she could no longer see Link's face, and instead went to studying his form- it was dappled with the easy muscles of one who was born with them. She knew that even in his sleepy state, however, were Zelda to squeeze Link's arm she would find it rock hard.
His abdomen was well defined, a strong six pack peeking out from Link's forest green blankets. His chest was relatively hairless and very well sculpted, pressed into the lighter green flat sheet covering Link's mattress pad. Just below his arm, Zelda could see a shell hemp necklace knotted around Link's neck, tied there until it fell off someday. His shaggy hair was wild, or what she could see of it, anyway; it had grown quite a bit since Zelda had first moved in with him, and she wasn't sure that he'd even had a haircut once since that summer. She imagined running her hands through the wheat strands and thought with a smile that she could probably even tie a bit of it in a small short ponytail at the back of his neck. Though on some men this look would look horrible, it oddly suited Link.
"No," he muttered in his sleep, jerking Zelda from her thoughts. He began to thrash a little. "No, watch out for the pigeon, Pinocchio…"
He rolled onto his back and his face contorted again as it was assailed by the light.
"Damn sun," he muttered, putting a hand over his eyes.
"Well if you had some curtains in here, that might help," Zelda stated wryly. "But as it is, you've only got the little plastic blinds."
"Zelda?" He definitely sounded confused. He opened his eyes to little slivers, then screwed them shut again. "Motherboard. What are you doing here?"
"Watching you sleep."
He inhaled, sounding tired and confused.
It was a short exhalation: "Why?"
She shrugged with one shoulder, crawling over to sit next to Link. "Lack of anything better to do."
"Aren't you supposed to be finishing up The Great Gatsby for English?"
He's sharper when he's half asleep, Zelda thought to herself with a crooked smile.
"I'm already a week ahead. I'm good. So I figured I'd watch my favorite human on the planet sleep."
"You flatter me." He rolled over, crashing into her knees. "Oof."
"Wacko," stated the young woman, extending her legs from underneath her and leaning back against the wall Link's bed was pushed up against.
"I try." He kept lifting his head up and letting it drop back down onto the bed- it occurred to Zelda he might be trying to position it atop her legs. Gently, she scooted over and caught his heavy skull as it careened to the mattress once more. He stopped.
A sleepy grin twisted across Link's face. "So what if I'd had morning wood?"
Zelda laughed.
"It would have been an educational experience for me. Lucky for both of us, you didn't."
"Mmmm."
Neither acknowledged the fact that Link had a very thick, lumpy comforter tucked around his waist.
She combed her hands through his hair, just as she'd been thinking about earlier, and let him nap there on her thighs.
"We're taking the SAT next weekend," he randomly stated, his voice still full of air. "Mom signed us up."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. A week from now, our brains are sponges."
"Fun."
"Mmmmhm."
Link snoozed for a while longer, and Zelda just sat there, still running her fingers through his thick wheat locks, more relaxed than she was even at the wonderful spa Malon and Lulu dragged her to once every month. Finally, she looked at the clock and sighed.
"Link, are you planning on lying in bed all day? It's almost noon and you've got school tomorrow."
"Freakin' A, school," he grumbled wheezily. "Death of me I swear to god."
"Well, your birthday is two weeks from Wednesday, isn't it? And then right after that is spring break. And then from Spring break, it's only six weeks until summer, a week of which is devoted to finals, and dead week before. Really, after spring break, we only have four weeks- two if you take out the two where everybody's doing AP testing and none of the classes can get anything done. See, Link, we're almost there. Now are you going to get up?"
He yawned large, like a cat. "No."
Zelda tried again. "Come on, Link. I'm sure you're hungry. Let's go get some food."
"No."
Sigh. "Link, I can't feel my knees because your fat head is cutting off all my circulation. At this rate I'm going to get gangrene and you'll have to give me a tourniquet, and then I'll be rushed to the hospital and they'll chop my legs off and all because you wouldn't get up."
"That's too bad. I guess I'll just have to carry you, then." He shrugged one shoulder, smirking, and quickly found his nose being pinched shut by an amusedly irritated Zelda.
"Hey Zelda, what are you doing?"
"I'm not doing anything, what are you talking about?"
"Your binching by nose."
"No I'm not. Link, I think you should get up. Lying in bed is making you imagine things."
"You're talking out your ass, Zelda. I can see your hand. And lying in bed has never bade be ibagine things."
"Link," Zelda said with mock concern, squeezing his nose a little harder, "you're sounding funny. Why don't you get up and we can get you a drink?"
"Ow, ow, fine, I give!" Link yelped, squirming. "I'm getting up! Sheesh, Zelda, you're sadistic."
"I know," she stated sweetly, giving him a saccharine smile. "Someone's got to be tough on your lazy bum."
Link grumbled, and then scratched his head. "Almost noon, you say?"
"Yes. Why?"
Link shrugged, stretching. "I've got something to do at one, I think. Going with Sheep to the movies or some such. Get out. I need to go take a shower."
"Of course. I don't want to see you naked. I think it would scar me forever." Zelda picked around the random crap thrown all across the floor and then paused at the door, smiling at Link. "I'll pull out a box of cereal for you."
"You're too kind," Link stated wryly. "Out."
&-
Seven thirty the next Saturday morning found Zelda standing outside school, leaning heavily against Link. Both were yawning largely.
"I loathe standardized testing," she stated, her voice mildly muffled by the soft black cloth of Link's faded shirt. In reply, her friend yawned, slumping against the wall next to them as they stood in line, waiting to be admitted into the school.
"Why do we even have to be here so early? Why did your mom insist we get here so early? The doors don't open until eight. Eight! That's half an hour!"
"Don't sit down," Link cautioned. "You're gonna be sitting for the next five hours. And I don't know what's up with Mom. She's gone bonkers or something."
"Or something."
They stood in a yawning silence for a while longer, the dew of the morning sparkling around on the trees and the white cement wall blocking off the school grounds from the rest of the world.
"This is gonna suck, isn't it, Link?"
"Yeah. A lot."
They both gulped.
They had had reason to be worried, Zelda thought later, looking back- almost six hours after this particular conversation, they stumbled out of the concrete school, more exhausted than they had been entering it.
"Do you have a funnel and a jar?" Link asked Zelda as they sat sprawled across the train station benches. "I intend to catch whatever it is of my brain that remains when it falls out in just a few minutes."
"Mmmmph."
"That was evil. I want to cry. Do you want to cry? God, what did you think of the essay prompt?"
"Majority rules that the SAT should be slaughtered, and yet it isn't gone yet. Majority being teenagers, of course I wanted to use that as an example for the whole "out the window it goes" thing, but I didn't." Zelda shuddered. "They'd have killed my essay, I'm sure." Her phone began to ring from where she'd stashed it in her (by now) very faded, very worn, very soft gray zip up hoodie.
"Hang on, it's Mal. I'm gonna take this." She flipped open the phone and pressed it to her ear, hoping that the brain fluids that she was sure were dribbling out didn't stain the screen or make the keypad sticky. "Hey?"
"If I set out from my house five minutes before Darmani did and I'm going sixty and he's going seventy, how long before he careens into me and we're corpses in shards of scrap metal?"
"Not funny, Malon. I just took five hours of that. Five! Do you want to be slaughtered?"
"Chill, girly," Malon stated, popping her gum into the receiver. "Actually, Lu and I are in the car right now. Do you want to come to the mall with us?"
"I would, as everywhere's having spring sales, but I'm so tired I think I'm going to collapse."
"That bad?"
"Worse," Zelda stated. "They added on sections and an essay. It was five hours of sheer and utter hell."
"Ick. Well, I'll pick you up some things from the mall, okay? And you don't have to pay me back or anything since you've bought gas for me god knows how many times, and it costs a small fortune to fill this sucker up." Zelda heard Malon slap the dashboard affectionately, as well as Lulu's soft reprimand to keep at least one hand on the wheel, especially in traffic. "So I'll pick up some things for you."
"Don't buy anything I wouldn't buy."
"Of course not, chickadee. Or at least, not much. Don't worry, I'll get you clothes. I've got Lulu here to keep me in check. Right Lulu?"
In the distance, Zelda heard Lulu: "right."
"Alright then." Zelda smiled, sighing, and then looked up as the train pulled in. "Anyway, guys, gotta go. Train's in and I'm intending to sleep the ride home."
"Okay. I'll drop the things by later today, okay girl?"
"Sounds good. See you later."
"Bye babe."
Zelda flipped her phone shut and followed Link into the train, stashing her cell in her pocket and doing her best to walk straight. Once in the carriage, she collapsed on the floor, and Link had to all but carry her home fifteen minutes later, as her legs refused to move. Much.
"I'm gonna kill you for this," Link grumbled as she yawned again. "Absolutely kill."
"Mm, I love you too, Fudgy wudgy snookie honey pooh bear asshole." Zelda batted her eyes and elbowed Link in the side, hard, causing him to hiss.
"Brat."
"Jerk." She smiled sweetly, kissing him on the cheek, causing him to turn cherry red. Teasing ensued.
Yes, the two were definitely the very best of friends.
&-
"You bought things I wouldn't buy," were the first words out of Zelda's mouth as Lulu pulled pair after pair of scandalous panties out from the bag.
"You don't have much lingerie," Malon stated, waving a black corset from Hot Topic in Zelda's face. "And in the way of sexy things, you have very little. We just decided to help you."
"Lulu, I thought you were looking out for me!"
"I was," stated the pretty black haired girl cheerfully. "I didn't let her buy any S&M things, I wouldn't let her get you the crotchless g-string, and I definitely put my foot down on the dominatrix outfit she wanted to get you."
"Thanks." Zelda watched as Lulu pulled out a red silk thong and folded it, setting it in the pile with all the other scanty panties. "Reality check, though. I'm not having any hot sex or anything any time soon."
"We know," Lulu stated. Malon grinned as she tossed a sparkly top to Zelda with a skull and cross bones on it. At least they hadn't just bought lingerie. She now had more clothes she could wear to club performances- she'd wear this skull top tonight.
"It's what's closest to the skin that counts," Malon cackled, waving a bra. "And we figured, ever since that jerk Sterling went and messed with your head, your self confidence has been a bit low. So we bought you sexy things! You don't have to wear them all the time, mind, or even most of the time. Just when you're feeling down or ugly, it'll help. Or when you're really horny, that too."
"Hmm. And what if Link goes digging through my things and finds them?"
"Tell him the truth," Lulu stated, folding up a pair of lacy boy shorts. Thank goodness she'd thought to get something Zelda was actually comfortable wearing. "Tell him that you didn't buy them. Malon and I will back you up."
"Like he'll believe it anyway." Zelda cleared her throat. "You know you guys, I really appreciate the thought, but you could have just gotten me jeans and a nice top. It's like you went and completely redid my wardrobe." Zelda picked up a opalescent negligee, eyeing it, and then eyeing the rest of the large mountain of clothes. "This must have cost a small fortune! How much did you spend, anyway?"
"Not too much. Lulu's mom gave us permission to use her credit card, you know, since she's got all those billions and billions stacked away."
"Uhn." Zelda made an indistinct noise way in the back of her throat. "Well. Wow."
"And next weekend," Lulu stated rather matter-of-factly, "we're taking you to get your prom dress. We both bought ours today."
"So we're all definitely going to prom?"
"Yup," chirped Malon, and then she glared at Zelda, throwing a string thong in her face. "And you, friend, are going to go with Link."
"Meep," Zelda squeaked, pulling the undies from where they hung off her ear. She eyed them with consideration, thinking. Link hadn't said no or yes to her prom proposition, but not because he didn't want to go, he assured her, or at least, not because he didn't want to go with her. Just because he wasn't sure he wanted to go anyway. She looked up, crumpling the underwear in her hand. She wouldn't let anything keep her from going to prom, not even Link. Nothing would get her down on prom night. Nothing would get her down ever.
"Alright," she stated with resolve. "I'll come to prom. I'll wear the things you bought me. I've needed a change lately anyway, and you're right. I do need a confidence boost."
"Perfect!" Malon jumped up and Lulu clapped her hands, smiling.
"Next week," stated the dark-haired beauty, "we're going to the spa as well, okay? Hair cuts, highlights, manicures, pedicures, massages, all on me."
Malon and Zelda cheered.
Yeah, Zelda thought deep within her. I need a change. And this is my chance. New and improved Zelda, here I come.
&-
updatedWednesday, May 04, 2005
8:41 PM
A/N: I know, I know. Another disjointed chapter. But with school drawing to a close, I'm tired, you're tired, we're all tired and I'm trying to get to the fun stuff, namely, Link's birthday, spring break, Sheik, so on and so forth. I PROMISE you that I'll start turning out some good chapters sometime soon. Honestly! And now I've got lots of humiliating and hilarious moments occupying my day to draw on, as I've just started taking Driver's Ed (two years too late, it might be added) with a friend of mine who regularly makes an ass of himself without intending to. Bwahahaha. So, ladies and gents, sit back and hang tight. The next chapter is LINK'S BIRTHDAY and it will own, I PROMISE!
Love y'all and see you a week from Sunday.