A/N: so the other day out of no where I started workin on this one like a mad woman...mad I tell you MAD! hence the update sooner than they've been coming. hope you likey...

Ch. 15 Several Ways to Die Trying

"About us."

"Us?" she repeated. He wanted to talk about them? As far as she knew they weren't an 'us', he probably only wanted to remind her of that.

"Yeah. With everything going on, I've been thinking a lot." he began, trying to figure out the best way to say it. "We... a lot has happened that we didn't plan, and its taken us to a place we never wanted to go. But we're here and..."

"Jason, stop." she interrupted, "Listen to yourself; what you're saying. 'We' and 'us', there isn't a we or an us anymore. Maybe you were right, maybe there never should have been."

Jason felt his voice fail him. She didn't mean it, she couldn't. It had taken him this long to finally let go of his pride and be ready to admit his true feelings, maybe she needed her own time to think through everything that happened between them.

"Don't do that." he said.

"Do what? Be honest?"

"Say something you don't mean." he answered. "I know things are looking bad now, but-"

"I'm not going to talk about this." she cut him off again. "Why don't you call my brother and see if he has another mistress you can protect? Or maybe he has an enemy you need to get rid of. So go. Take an order; take someone out. It's all you're good at you said so yourself. I just refused to see it before." she spoke inwardly wincing at her own harsh words, but it had to be done.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, catching on to what she was doing. She wanted him to turn around and walk away, but he wouldn't. "Why are you pushing me away?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I can't do it! I can't be close to you! I can't watch you put everything on the line for me. I can't listen to you tell me everything's going to be ok, and you'll fix it all. I just can't; I won't"

"Why not?"

"Because I know myself, Jason! I know what I'll do. I'll let my guard down and I'll get my hopes up. And I'll be setting myself up for a fall; a fall I don't want to take a second time. Because it'll hurt too much to lose you again. It happened once and it nearly killed me, I won't be able to survive another fall like that. The loneliness is cold and-and empty, but it's easier to stay there than to climb out only to slip and fall back in."

He stood in silence for a moment, taking in everything she had told him. It was not what he expected to hear. But then again, what had he expected? A hug and kiss and 'I love you?' It took a second for his brain to form the words he wanted to say next.

"I get that you're scared. I'm scared, too. I'm afraid that you'll be taken away. Of not being able to see you or hear your voice whenever I want. Of knowing you're alone and unhappy, but not be able to be there for you. That's why I'm doing this; all of it. Because I-"

He stopped just before the words came out. He was mentally kicking himself. He hadn't said that on top of all his fears were the exact same ones she'd said. Which was why he couldn't seem to say the last two words out loud. He was afraid of that fall. But would it be any better to wonder years later what could have happened if he had taken the leap?

"Because..."he began again, swallowing his fears. "Because I love you."

Jason stood waiting for her to say something. Anything. The second seemed to stretch for an eternity. He'd beared it all, and was hoping for the best.

"Don't." she whispered.

"What?"

"Don't...don't love me." she spoke fighting back tears.

"I can't help it. You told me once that you can't help who you love. It's true. I know you're scared-"

"Jason," she began." What do you remember about that night? I don't mean what happened at Carly's, I'm talking about after that. What do you remember?"

"I was angry, I said some things I didn't mean."

"You never say anything unless you mean it. It's one of my favorite things about you." she said with a slight smile.

"I was mad an-and hurt. I was just saying those things because of that. Yeah, a small part of me meant it, but every part regrets it." he explained, he himself wasn't sure what had possessed him that night; other than anger.

"Want to know what I remember?" she asked getting a nod from him. " I remember your eyes when you looked at me. I remember every word you said. The time on the clock when I realized that it was over; my life was over. Every second is carved into my memory. The look in your eyes, on your face, the sound of your voice, it'll stay with me forever. I can't try to start again if I can't get over the anger and pain I saw I put I you that day."

"You think spending life in prison for a crime you didn't commit is going to help either of us at all?"

"Jason-"

"We're both afraid; of being hurt and hurting each other. But the love is still there and I don't know about you, but in me it's stronger than the fear."

"God Jason, I do love you." she admitted. "But you're right, I'm scared. You never hurt more than you do when you're in love."

"You're never happier either." he placed his hand on her soft cheek. She leaned into it briefly before turning away.

"Jason, about Ric-"

"Don't, ok? Don't think about him or anything else. The past is gone and the future isn't here yet. Port Charles is a planet away right now. Don't worry about the yesterday's and tomorrow's. Just be here. Now. With me." he reached out and wiped away the tears that escaped.

"I love you. I love you so much, and I'm so scared of tomorrow. Jason, I don't want tomorrow to come."

He came closer to her, destroying the space left between them. He couldn't believe he'd let her out of his sight for an instant. He placed his finger under her chin and tilted her head up. As always, when her eyes caught his the world disappeared.

"It doesn't exist." he whispered before softly placing his lips on hers.

If it were possible, he thought her lips had gotten sweeter since he'd last tasted them, it seemed like a lifetime ago. The feeling was incredible, it was like he was being reunited with a missing part of himself. The kiss grew more passionate as the two melted into the other's touch. It didn't take long before they were both well beyond the point of no return.

As if taking the kiss as a cue, the clouds above ripped open. The rain poured down on the island like a sign from above, in a symbol only they would understand.

A/N: this one was mostly dialogue, I hope that's cool.