A/N: i have this posted over at LN and its easier to update there than here, so i'd farther along. but i've dedicated today to catching up over here! whoopie!

Ch. 30 If I Fall Along The Way

He shut the cell phone for the third time in under an hour. Once again it was Carly asking if he'd found her yet. Once again he said no and told her not to call unless Courtney had come home or there was an emergency. Each time the cell phone said it was her calling, he'd answer hoping she'd say Courtney was home and ok. He ran his hand over his face, ready to start pulling his hair out. Everytime he came up empty, his mind threw him into all sorts of scenarios; all of them bad. If the wrong person found her...

He couldn't think of it. They had too many enemies. Taglioti. Sandavol. Alcazar, though he hadn't been heard from in a while, he was still considered a threat. On top of all of that, there was talk that a relative of Roscoe's was looking to avenge his death.

Finally Jason stopped moving and tried to take a different approach by thinking before he acted any more. He tried to think of where they'd gone that day, where she might go. Most of those places he'd searched already. except a few, and one jumped out in his mind. He turned in the direction of the docks just as he felt someone crash into his chest. On reflex, he reached his arms out and caught them before they could fall to the ground.

"Courtney." he said, surprised that it was her who nearly ran him down. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Are you ok?"

"F-Fine." she stammered, trying her best to collect herself.

"You're not."

"I said I'm fine." she repeated, trying to pull away.

"Don't lie to me, please." he said holding her in a firm, yet soft grip.

"I'm not lying. I just-I had to get out is all." she explained. "Just get some air."

"Look, I know it was hard to deal with everything earlier with your mother. But you can't just run off on your own like -"

"The hell I can't." she interrupted. "I'm capable of handling myself; more so than I thought."

"Courtney, listen-"

"No, you listen!" she shouted. "Since this whole nightmare began, I've been surrounded by people; strangers. Strangers I should know but don't. And everyone, everyone, looks at me with eyes full of pity and it disgusts me. Everyone is so careful around me. Everyone is looking at me or treating me like a child." she paused, and let her voice soften. "Except you."

Jason stood before her, speechless. He had no idea what to say. At one time, not too long ago, he was able to say what she needed to hear. He could comfort her with the simple truth; that he loved her with everything he was. Now, when she needed him the most, he had no words.

"Not you." she said in a whisper. "Never you. Jason, you've been so kinda and patient and genuine. At least I thought you were."

"I was." he answered, finally finding his voice. "I am. I'd never lie to you, or push you in anyway."

He stopped for a second, feeling a drop of moisture fall onto his head. Jason looked up as more raindrops fell from the clouds. He could have laughed at the sick sense of humore the world seemed to have; especially when it came to him.

"You're saying...you wouldn't care if I never remembered? It wouldn't bother you?" she asked.

"I'm saying...I'm saying I'll be here. You remember or you don't, either way I'll be here." he reached out to touch his hand to her wet cheek, and she turned her head away and let out a bitter laugh.

"You'll be here? If I ask the wrong question or say the wrong thing? If I do something that I would have never even thought of doing before? You'll be here?"

"It doesn't matter, ok? Because, yes, I'll be here or there or wherever you need me." he reached our once again to touch her face, but this time she didn't pull away. Her felt her skin, cold and wet from the shower they stood in, and instinctively pulled her closer until he could feel her lips against his. the sweet lips he'd missed for so long. To him, the world disappeared when he kissed her, but it was still there. A roll of thunder sounded and Courtney abruptly pulled away from him.

"No, this is crazy. I love A.J."

He entered his office and sat down behind the desk. He put his hand to his face and rubbed his wrinkled forehead, thinking about what had happened on the way there. The woman by the docks. It was her. It was her and she didn't recognize him. It couldn't be her. A knock on the door pulled him back from his thoughts.

"Come in." he called.

"Hi. How was the conference?" she asked.

"Dull, but it has to be done. I'm just glad to be back in town. Now, is there something i can do for you?"

"Well, the night that you left there was a...situation with one of your patients." she informed.

"How serious?"

"She's gone."

"Who? What do you mean gone? Dead?" he asked the nurse.

"Oh, no. A man and a woman were here, they took her with them. The name in the files was Matthews." she watched him curiously as he froze and became white as a sheet. "There's more. The man, he said she didn't belong here. Do you know what he was talking about?"

He jumped up from his desk and walked over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and looking her square in the eye.

"Listen to me Kathryn, I need you to forget about that. Forget about it all, and don't say a word about it to anyone."

"Dr. Price-"

"No buts. Listen to me carefully, as far as we're concerned, as far as the records are concerned, it never happened. You hear me? There was never a Courtney Matthews at this hospital."