I'm so happy! You guys are AWESOME Fireflies .!
Dark Qiviut: Oh yay! I'm so happy that you read the next chapter! Thanks for the compliments on my story, I was a little worried some people might not like that chapter. The one's more moving than the last one, and way more depressing, hope you like it!
Rochelle: claps hands together in delight Yay, you came back! GTO would have to be my second favorite anime after Saint Seiya (Digimon being my third) and Onizuka is the most interesting character I've come across in Anime. It's hard to explain his personality, but he's really cool, I wish he was my teacher; basically, he's a no good punk who doesn't know what to do with his life, and then he decides to become a teacher. GTO (Great Teacher Onizuka) is about his career and adventures with an evil class of students who eventually love him. I'm glad you liked him, I was worried some people would hate this chapter. I'm so overjoyed that you love my story and it's a great piece of chocolate to relish! I feel so bad for Ken, especially in this chapter and the next one hugs her Ken doll too, but Davis has his reasons so don't worry. I hope you savor this chapter as well!
Demon King Piccolo: Onizuka still has a part to play in the next chapter, big part, promise . I hate it when people keep me waiting on chapters so I'm trying to write as fast as I can for you guys! Also, it's so easy to write! I'm glad you liked the chapter, this one's a lot sadder, it makes me cry every time I read it L. Hope you love this chapter, thanks for reviewing!
Takuya: yeah, it's sad, sorry bout that. But don't worry, Davis is a little more human in this chapter and he has a reason….sort of! The last chapter will make up for everything, but there's still a ways till then. This chapter is much more depressing then the last one, and the one after is worse. Right now, I know exactly how Ken feels, and my "Davis" is still be a jerk, I hope that soon, he'll get over it like Davis will and everything will be fine again…..hope you like this chapter Takuya!
LoveSovereign: Sorry Ken's acting like a wimp, it tends to happen after suffering more depression for a long time…..I know, been there done that!Yeah, we have something in common, my "Davis" is still mad at me for no apparent reason after 3 months of it, it hurts bad……that's why I try to describe how much Ken is hurting. Onizuka will help somewhat, but Ken won't go cold on Davis, he does try to do something more in this chapter though, hope you like it and keep reading! Hope your "Davis" stopped being a jackass and if he/she hasn't, you kick give them a kick to the rear for me and say "With Love from Merlin Pendragon!" .!
Roadie-chan: Yay! I'm so happy you love it! It makes me feel so special inside, hope you love this chapter and keep reading! Cookies for you!
Sabrina-Rosalie: Wow! Oh wow. This is….wow! People are telling their friends about my story! YAY! Ken does suffer a lot from depression still from said reason, and just a hint of paranoia…..I have it, it sucks eggs. I agree with you, Ken wouldn't ever go cold on Davis because he knows how it feels to be in that position, but it is tempting; won't happen, but tempting. Say thanks to the Daiken fan for me! I hope you love this chapter and keep reading the story!
Lugga: You are so AWESOME! imagines Ken with ponytail again and drools as well You're right, it is drool worthy. Onizuka is really hot too, I love him so much and he just seemed perfect to add at that point in the story; he's not in this chapter but he plays a bigger role in the next one! I loved writing about Onizuka mistaking him for a girl, it's good to have comic relief sometimes! Hope you love this chapter!
AN: Warning, this chapter is really sad, it was hard not to cry while writing it! Don't hate Davis too much, he has his reason, hugs her Davis doll you might even feel bad for him a little bit. But be warned, he acts like a jerk in the beginning, please don't kill me! I love Davis! Really I do, it will all make sense in the next chapters. Sorry, Onizuka is not in this chapter, but he'll be in the next one for sure! Also, there a bit more colorful language so……don't hurt me. Also, just so everyone knows, there will be NO character deaths so in the famous words of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy "Don't Panic." By the way, did anyone one else cry about Anthony not staying on American Idol? I know I did……Anyway, without further delay, Here's the next chapter!
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or the opening song for Fruits Basket, if I did……I would be the happiest person on earth….no wait! The Universe!
Walking in the Dark
Chapter 4: Here For You
He threw the scissors at the mirror causing half of it to shatter and fall to the floor. The remaining half that stayed on the frame was cracked and distorted Ken's image. He glared at the mirror, tears of frustration stung his eyes as he bent down and picked up a long, jagged piece of glass.
Monday finally rolled around, Ken took a deep breath and started walking to school at his usual time. Today, it was surprisingly Davis who had to catch up with Ken. The spiky haired goggle boy ran up next to Ken and walked next to him but didn't say anything. He carried his school case that same way he always did, thrown over his shoulder and one hand stuck in his pocket. Ken felt a fleeting fluttering feeling in his heart that wasn't necessarily bad, but not good either. Davis looked forward and had his head held high while Ken kept his head low and eyes glued to the sidewalk. Goggle Boy II looked relaxed and didn't have a care in the world, he casually began to whistle 1000 No Kotoba.
Ken felt a surge of overwhelming loneliness, that was their song and Davis seemed to be rubbing it in his face. Ken kicked himself mentally, Davis wouldn't do that! Ken tried to relax but he had a terrible feeling that this unexpected encounter would not go well. After about five minutes he looked over in Davis' direction. The boy stopped whistling, "…..you look like a girl Ken."
Ken's heart sank, he expected something along the likes of, 'Hey Ken, how's it going?' or 'Sorry it's been so tense lately, it won't be like that anymore,' or the one he wanted to hear most, 'You're the only person I still want to be around me.' Ken bowed his head lower so his long hair could hide his face, after all, something was better than nothing, "I know."
"Well, you should fix it."
Ken considered his good luck, Davis said two sentences to him, "Is that the reason you won't talk to me?"
"No."
Ken snapped his head up and looked at Davis, trying to hide his grief he asked quietly, "then…..then what it is?"
Davis looked at Ken out of the corner of his eyes and smirked, his shoulders started shaking and he laughed. Shaking his head he calmed himself down and continued whistling. Ken stared at him in disbelief, and the only words that came to mind was something along the likes of 'what the hell?' Ken kicked himself mentally again for thinking that Davis would tell him, Ken hated himself for being so weak. He stared at the ground and muttered, "I know you're not listening to me, but you're a real jerk you know that?"
Davis stopped whistling, he looked at Ken again and laughed. All he did was laugh. Ken felt a burst of pain and focused all his energy on trying not to cry. Ken shook a little but he remained by Davis until they were at the school, sitting down at the usual table and Davis was still laughing. T.K. sat down three minutes later with Kari, "Ummm Davis, what's so funny?"
Davis breathed and his laugh turned into a chuckle, "Oh, nothing at all Teek!"
T.K. looked at Kari with a confused look, she shrugged and looked at Ken. The indigo haired teen just stood up and left. As he walked away he heard Kari blow up at Captain Giggles, "Davis, quit being such a jackass!"
Davis laughed at her. Ken failed to hear his reply, he didn't want to anyway. He walked into the library and sat at a remote table. Five minutes later, T.K. walked in and pulled Ken to his feet. He looked at Ken for a few seconds and drew him into a tight hug, "I'm so sorry Ken. He shouldn't be doing this to you, I'm sorry you have to go through this. That guy doesn't know what he's doing, but Ken, you can't keep waiting for him. Just let go Ken, let go."
Ken gently nudged T.K. away and shook his head, "I don't care what happens T.K., but I will always wait for Davis, I can't live without him."
T.K. gave a dry sob and hugged Ken again, "You shouldn't go through this much pain for the one you love Ken, Kari didn't do this to me, he shouldn't do it to you."
Ken grew stiff, "He's just my friend T.K."
"No," T.K. hugged tighter, afraid if he let go that Ken would vanish, "No, you love him Ken, don't lie to yourself."
Ken sighed, "I'll be alright T.K., don't worry about me."
T.K. let Ken go and put both hands on Ken's shoulders, "I have to Ken, you won't worry about yourself so I have to."
Ken smiled at him, that warm, gentle smile that made T.K. want to start crying, but he kept it in as Ken said, "I'll be fine, trust me."
Kari ran up and hugged T.K., "It's okay T.K.!" She gave Ken a sympathetic look, "Sorry Ken, he's just worried about you, we all are."
"You don't have to be, I'll fix this."
Kari nodded and T.K. looked at Ken and shook his head, "If there is anything I can do…"
"I'll tell you," Ken picked up his school case, "Don't worry about me."
T.K. nodded and smiled shakily, "Come on Kari, we have to get to class, see you at lunch Ken." He took a deep breath and seemed relieved. After they left, Ken headed for his first class and thanked his lucky stars that he had great friends like T.K. and Kari.
After lunch, T.K., Ken and Davis walked up to French class together as usual. T.K. was still talking to Davis, but he was frightfully upset at the boy. Ken took his regular seat behind the spiky haired teen and smiled. All Ken cared about was that Davis talked to him today, and that was better than nothing, even if it was mostly insults. Ken stared at the back of Davis' head, at the black band of his goggles and felt the same old pain but didn't care. After class, Ken even attempted to wave at Davis, but the other boy glared back at him. Ken sighed and knew that it was too good to be true.
Davis' glare felt like a stab to the heart with an ice pick, it was a glare that stopped a person cold, utter disdain and disrespect for the person it was directed at. It wasn't downright hate, just sheer disgust, and that's what made Ken's heart stop. He sighed and picked up his school bag, any hope he had left, after all, hope was T.K.'s department.
Ken sat through his seventh hour, burning with self hatred. He didn't pity himself, he just hated himself, Ken Ichjouji, the boy genius, the child of Kindness, the Digimon Emperor, the pathetically weak person he turned out to be. He left right after the bell and walked home quickly. His hands shook as he unlocked the door, Ken threw his school case on his bed and changed from his green uniform into a pair of blue jeans and a tight black shirt. He picked up his soccer ball that he dubbed as just 'Wilson' and ran off to the park, Ken needed to burn some steam. The depressed boy played soccer with himself for about five hours till it was 8 o'clock. The sky turned black and overcast, it was dark, really dark. Ken picked up Wilson and looked around; a thick mist fell on the park and it had a haunted feeling to it.
Ken shivered and walked over to the bench. Sitting down, he placed his head in his hands and cried.
Davis smiled, "I wouldn't mind if it was just you and me. Screw T.K. and Kari and Yolei and Cody, even Willis. I could live with just you….I don't want to think of a time when you're not around."
Ken clapped his hands over his ears, "Shut up, just shut up!"
"You know what?"
Davis leaned in with an excited grin on his face, "What?"
"STOP IT!" Ken shouted.
"I couldn't live without you being my friend, I think I'd just die without you."
"Just leave me alone," Ken cried, "leave me alone Davis…..I'm tired of this, I'm so fucking tired of it."
A firefly flew up and landed onto the bench next to Ken; he looked at the bug curiously and wiped the tears off his face.
"You guys mean the world to me….I know that a lot of times people are not okay, I know when I'm not okay I want to tell someone about it but I don't want to worry them or complain. So, I always ask people if they're okay so if they're not….they know I care, they know that they can talk to me. Our lives right now, they're good and bad. Good times die like fireflies Davis, so you have to keep it alive as long as you can."
Another firefly flew and landed next to the other one, Ken looked at them and threw his soccer ball on the ground, he stood up and shouted at the two insects, "What's the point anyway, you just die in the end! You just die!"
"Fireflies are everywhere. Every now and then, at times like this, you start to think of when there was a time where you weren't surrounded by fireflies. The world lights up when they're around and grows dark when they're gone."
Ken picked up Wilson and glared at the two fireflies on the bench, "My world is always dark now, there is no light anymore." Feeling more frustrated than ever, Ken ran home and threw open the door, he ran past his parents in the kitchen and rushed to his computer.
Internet. Email. No messages. Davis must've deleted it before reading it…. nothing changed. The indigo haired teen frantically turned on his cell phone and checked the voice mail¾no messages. Ken could feel his heart start beating faster and faster, the beats seemed unsure and uneven. Hot tears stung his eyes as he collapsed to his knees and cried at the edge of his bed¾the cell phone laid motionless on the floor. It had been three weeks since the pain started, and in three weeks Ken still didn't know why.
After about half an hour he stopped crying and got ready for bed, remembering it was only Monday there was still four more days of hell to go through until the weekend.
The next morning Ken forced himself out of bed at 5:30 and took a hot shower. He washed his fatigue away and readied himself for the new day. No one had to know what he was feeling, not even his parents. Ken pulled his school uniform on and groaned, he reached for his belt and notched it further than last time, "Why doesn't it fit anymore, oh damn it all." Usually Ken felt bad about cursing, but lately, it seemed the only things to say at the time. He put on his coat and walked into the kitchen. His mother looked up from the stove, "Are you feeling better Ken?"
"Yes Mom, sorry if I worried you."
She smiled, "As long as you're okay dear, have fun at school."
"I will," Ken kissed his mother on the cheek and walked to school half an hour early. Today, he wouldn't let Davis phase him, he'd just smile and pretend that nothing was wrong.
Thursday's weather reflected Ken's sour mood; rain poured down hard and continued all day. Ken managed to get a ride to school from his dad and rushed into the building to avoid getting wet. He was walking to his locker when he heard two voices he recognized instantly; Willis and Davis. Ken leaned against the wall instead of turning the corner so they wouldn't see him.
Willis grinned, "Yeah, me and Yolei are having a great time together!"
Davis gave a boisterous laugh, "What can I say man? You guys are great together."
"I know," Willis paused, his grin faded, "by the way Davis…..how's Ken?"
Ken could almost hear Davis stiffen, "How the hell should I know!"
Willis laughed nervously, "Just a friendly question, nothing to get touchy about."
Davis slammed a fist into the row of lockers, "Quit it Willis! I'm so damn sick of you guys obsessing over me and Ken! Look, there's nothing going on and I don't see why you're helping the guy out anyway."
"Why not! Ken's my friend Davis, he's your friend too."
"NO!" Davis yelled, "He's not! He's never been my friend Willis."
"That's bullshit and you know it Davis!"
"I just……I can't tell you why Willis, you'll just tell Ken."
"Someone needs to!" Willis barked.
"Damnit Willis, I don't want to talk about it right now."
The American growled, "Sure, but you know what. Back home, if someone made me mad I'd kick his ass, but Ken's too polite to do that to you! And he's the one that deserves to kick your pompous rear. What makes me sick is that even though you treat him like crap Davis, he's still willing to be your friend! He's still waiting for you!"
Davis sighed, "I know….I know he's just too damn kind Willis, I just……I just can't tell you right now okay?"
"Okay Davis, but you're breaking his heart. He looks up to you."
"I know," Davis said, "I just need a break to sort things out. Ken's not the guy he used to be. You wouldn't know it Willis, but Ken….man he can be….so….man….every time I think about him, I feel all of these…..mixed emotions, emotions I can't handle right now Willis. I imagine weird things and I……oh just forget it." The brunette walked off quickly past Ken to avoid talking to Willis, luckily for Ken, Davis didn't notice him. Willis groaned and walked off after him, Ken moved so Willis wouldn't see him. After they were gone, Ken left through one of the side doors leading outside and entered the school again from the front door to make it look like he just arrived.
The boy genius walked up to the table and called, "Good morning everyone!"
Kari closed her math book and grinned, "Morning Ken!"
Today would only be good if he made it good, Ken took a seat next to Kari and started talking about Full Metal Alchemist with her while Davis sat and stared at the table, feeling exactly how Ken felt for once. Despite this little victory, Ken felt horrible about Davis and couldn't help but worry about him.
It was still raining after school when Mr. Ichijouji picked Ken up in the front of the building. He made some friendly conversation with his son and dropped him off at the apartment, "I have to go to the office for a few hours, tell your mother I'll be home at six."
"Have fun at the office Dad!"
"Oh you know I will," Mr. Ichijouji winked and drove off while Ken ran into the apartment complex. He punched the button for the fifth floor and nearly killed himself from listening to the terrible elevator music. The indigo haired teen finally made it home and changed out his school uniform to a pair of jeans and a tight dark blue shirt. He sat down at his computer and sighed, if this didn't work, nothing would:
Davis,
I was so happy that you were smiling
With a smile that would melt everything
Spring was still a distance away under the cold ground
It was waiting for a moment to bud
Even if I have a painful today
Even if there is a wound from yesterday
I want to believe that I can open my heart
But I can change myself
Let's stay together always
I want things to be simple
Let's finally get across this sea of mournful sorrow
For instance, even if today is painful
Someday it will become a warm memory
If you leave everything up to your heart
I understand the meaning of our living here
It is to know the joy of having been born
Let's stay together always
I just want you to know, I'll always be here for you...even if you don't want me to be. I don't know what I did to make you so angry at me, but I bet you have a good reason. I don't know if you're reading this, I hope you are and didn't "blot" out this letter. Before you decide that I'm forever dead to you, I just want you to think back and remember all of the good times we've had. I remember you changed my life, after I was the Digimon Emperor I felt lost….I was so depressed and you made me feel like there was a reason for me to keep going. You are my best friend...that's why this hurts so much for me. I've been asking people, what should I do? Everyone tells me to "let it go" and ignore you, they say that you're not the kind of friend I thought you were...but Davis, they were wrong, I want them to be wrong...you're my best friend and I know something is bothering you, you can just tell me, let me fix this...I can't loose you Davis, I just can't. Maybe you don't consider me your friend...but I want you to know that I am here for you, I am here for you always. No matter what you do to me, no matter how much you drag my feelings and my heart through the mud, I'm here for you Davis.
I am sorry, I am so sorry for whatever I did...I'm sorry. I just want things to be the way they were; us sitting at lunch watching Willis groan in pain from eating too many gummy worms, us walking to school together, us listening to music on your head phones every day, us playing soccer together every Friday. The first time I spent the night at your house, making T.K. a birthday cake, T.K.'s surprise birthday party, playing with DemiVee-mon and Leafmon at the beach. I don't know about you, but I can't give that up. Remember when you first held out your hand to me? I was so scared of being rejected but you showed me what Friendship really meant. Remember all those times we played video games at my house? Remember that time when we played soccer in the rain? Do you remember any of this?
I don't want it to end like this, please just stop it...one way or the other. Please tell me what's wrong, you can always talk to me...I'm here for you.
I'll always be here for you.
Ken
His eyes scanned over the letter quickly and he sat back in dismay. Sure, it would work, if Davis actually read it. If Ken sent it as an email, Davis would probably delete it without reading it; if he gave it to him, Davis might rip it up without reading it. There was no way that Ken could get his once dear friend to actually touch the letter let alone read it. Ken gave a heavy sigh and printed it out anyway.
Ken smiled and pressed his fingers to the cool glass of his window watching the rain trickle down. He remembered one time a couple of years ago when him and Davis played soccer in the rain and got covered with mud. Ken's mother nearly had a heart attack when they came back and fussed over Davis until he went home. Ken smiled at the memory, and then winced in pain because thinking of Davis still gave him a sharp ache in his heart. He stumbled over to his bed and laid down, wishing with all of his heart that someday there'd be more memories that wouldn't bring pain.
He read over the letter again and felt tears coming up. Ken reached into his drawer and pulled out a picture of Davis he had taken earlier in the year. Davis grinned broadly in the picture while flashing a V for Victory with his left hand. They were at the park that day, playing soccer like usual. Ken won that day, so Davis decided to extract his revenge by pinning Ken down to the ground and tickling him to death. Ken had so much fun that day….his tears fell onto the picture as he pulled out a lighter. The bottom right corner of the picture burned slightly as Ken attempted to set it aflame, the picture refused to burn. Frustrated he threw the picture, trying to get it as far away from him as possible. It floated up in the air and landed gently on Ken's pillow. Kneeling by the side of the bed, he folded his arms on the bed and cried. "Why Davis, why. I can't live without you."
Mr. And Mrs. Ichijouji stood in the doorway not knowing how to comfort their son. Mrs. Ichijouji cried softly into her husband's shoulder while he stared at Ken. They quietly shut the door and went out to give Ken some space, it was all they could do. Ten minutes later, Mrs. Ichijouji called Ken out for dinner at 6:20 PM. She made sure he ate every bite on his plate, Ken was getting way to thin for her liking.
After consuming his dinner of liver and onions, Ken bid his parents good night and went to his room to distract his feelings in a worn out but well loved copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and took comfort in the big friendly letters printed on the back: DON'T PANIC.
"Let's be together always."