Ch. 36 Reasons To Live

The men descended the hill, quickly yet carefully bringing down the equipment needed. They reached them rather quickly, but still not fast enough for Jason's liking.

"Hurry." he requested as the men approached. While one of them was doing what it took to get her out, the other was doing a brief check on her, making sure she was at least alive, he asked him her name, he wasn't sure how, but he managed to tell them "Courtney."

"Courtney, can you hear me?" he asked, and grabbed her hand gently. "Courtney, if you can hear me I need you to squeeze my hand."

Jason watched anxiously as nothing happened.

"Courtney, it'll be ok." Jason told her.

"Whoa." the man said surprised at the slight twitch from the hand he held. He looked to Jason." Say something else."

"What?" he asked.

"In some cases a loved one is the only one who can get through, keep them hanging on. It looks like this is one of those cases. Ask her to squeeze my hand as hard as she can." he demanded.

Jason didn't question the man, but did what he said. Asked her to squeeze as hard as she could. The man felt a slight squeeze, barely anything, but it still happened.

"Bingo." he said and pulled Jason towards him placing her hand in his. "Keep talking to her, let her know you're here."

After what seemed like forever, the paramedics were finally able to remove Courtney from the wreckage and get her on the way to the hospital. Jason rode in the ambulance, not only because he no longer had his car, he needed to be with her. He promised he wouldn't leave. He did all he could to stay close but and out of the way at the same time. Holding her hand all the while. Now that she was at last out of the car, he could somewhat see how bad it was. There was so much blood, and from what he could see it appeared to be coming out of everywhere.

He was so lost with worry about her that he didn't even notice Sonny or Carly as they passed them in the hospital. Once in the ER, they were joined by Monica and she was quickly filled in. It was when the time came for Jason to let go that he had a problem.

"Sir, you have to wait here." one of them told him, but his hold on her hand didn't falter.

"I need to stay with her."

"Jason." his mother began.

"I promised her I wouldn't leave. She didn't want to come back here. I can't leave."

"You'll be here, Jason. I know you want to stay with Courtney, but you have to realize that we are wasting valuable time on this." she said and took note of his appearance." Get yourself checked out, I'll take care of Courtney."

Jason nodded, knowing it was for the best. His grip loosened as the gurney was wheeled away. Breath caught in his throat as he felt her fingers slip away from his. He was left standing there, looking in the direction they'd gone.

"I'm right here." he said softly, imagining that she could hear him.

"Jason, what-what happened?" Carly asked her friend who appeared to have been to hell and back.

"Car accident." was all he could manage.

"Oh God, how-how bad?" she asked and was grateful that her bewildered friend's words had returned to him.

"We were driving, it was raining, then she-she cried out, said her head hurt. I took my eyes off the road..." he trailed off, seeing everything playback in his mind. "The car...the car went off the road, rolled down a hill."

Carly stood in shock, absorbing everything. So much was going on, and she feared that it may only get worse. She looked at her silent husband and then to her dishelmed friend.

"Jase, you should see a doctor." she suggested, wanting to ensure at the very least, his physical health.

"I'm fine." he answered as she suspected he would.

"Jason-"

"I'm fine Carly." he repeated. "Courtney...you didn't see, the car...they had to cut her out. She was stuck and I...it should have been me."

"You can't think that way." Sonny tried to help. But he knew it was useless. If it were him, if it were Carly he'd be doing the exact same thing; blaming himself. Wishing above everything else to switch places with her.

"I took my eyes off the road." he said, placing the blame where he believed it belonged.

"Don't. You've been through a lot tonight. Just make sure you're ok. We won't know anything for a while and you don't do Courtney or anybody else any good if you're hurt." she tried to convince him.

Jason agreed, only so he would have something to do other than sit and wait helplessly.