Ch. 37 Make A Move

Time seemed to pass in years even though he knew in reality it wasn't more than an hour or so. Jason was sitting in the waiting room. Doing just that; waiting. He felt slightly better physically since he followed everyone's advice and got checked out. He had basically forced the doctor to inspect him there in the waiting area. Refusing any treatment otherwise.

A few stitches and bandages later, and Jason was left wondering what was happening to her. He didn't care what anyone said, he knew the truth. It should've been him. Stuck in the wrecked metal, and now on some table being poked and prodded.

Jason hopped to his feet, as did his two closest friends at the sight of his mother approaching. The solemn look on her face spoke volumes to him before she even opened her mouth.

"I'm sorry." she began.

He heard no more after those two words. He saw her mouth moving as she went into the detail, but he couldn't hear a single word spoken. He didn't pay attention to Carly as she broke in her husband's arms, nor Sonny as he tried to keep his own emotions at bay. All he saw was her face. The way her eyes danced when she smiled. This couldn't be happening.

Finding control over his feet, Jason angrily shoved past Monica. Taking long, quick strides toward the OR, he ignored the protests from all around him. In a few short seconds, he stood in the doorway of the room. Crossing the threshold, he scarcely heard himself order the remaining medical personnel to get out.

They didn't argue as they left the room, almost running out. He stood before the operating table, his mouth and throat desert dry. The first thing he was able to register was her red stained clothes cut away, a result of the doctors attempt to help her. Jason instantly shrugged off his jacket and gently placed it over her.

Adjusting the leather material several times, he made sure she was covered. His eyes flicked up to the black screened monitor that should have displayed the steady beat of her heart. But it didn't. They had turned it off. He didn't understand, she was right in front of him; she wasn't gone.

Sleeping. She was just sleeping. Any minute her eyes would open. Any minute. But he knew, as he looked at her still chest, that it wouldn't happen. He continued to stare at her chest, willing it to resume the natural rhythm of up and down. It didn't obey. His eyes then traveled up to her face. Quickly, he got up, grabbing a nearby sponge and wetting it. He brought it to her soft face and wiped away the dry crimson, revealing her beautiful features.

Setting the sponge down, Jason then grabbed hold of her hand with his shaking ones. He was taken back by the chilling temperature it was. Then he remembered not only had they been outside all night, it had been raining. He didn't know how, but his voice returned to him as he held her freezing hand.

"You're cold." he stated, before rubbing his hands up and down on the coat to generate heat. "That better? I told you we should get out of the rain. I didn't want you to get sick."

Silence.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't save you the first time you needed me too, and look what happened. I failed again."

Silence.

Any other day, Courtney would have denied him fault. Told him that he couldn't control everything that happened, or that he did all he could and that was all she could ever ask from him. But she couldn't now. Because it was true.

"I need you." he whispered, his lips trembling slightly. " I need you so much. Please, open your eyes. Come back, please."

He waited; nothing happened.

"Come on. I know you're stubborn, but just this once…just do what I ask without questioning it. Just listen to me." He paused feeling himself break. "Listen to me!"

It was then he heard the door open. He turned his head to see the trio from the waiting room and some orderlies. He knew what they wanted. He wouldn't do it. He couldn't.

"Jason-"

"No." he interrupted sharply. "I'm not leaving."

"Jason, I know this is hard for you. But we have to take the body t-"

"Courtney." he said through his clenched jaw. "She's not a body, it's Courtney."

"I'm sorry, Jason. I know how much you cared for her, but she's gone." she tried to reason with him.

"Sonny, you can't let them talk that way about her. You can't let them take her away." he looked to his mentor for support.

"Look man-" Sonny began to speak to his breaking friend.

"What's wrong with you? She's still here. If she weren't…it doesn't matter, because she's not gone." he said, surely convinced that he wouldn't be able to breathe if she was truly gone forever. "I'm not leaving."

He didn't know how it happened, but Sonny, along with the orderlies Monica brought with her, were all but dragging him away from her. He fought against them, until he saw Carly slowly and tearfully lift his jacket from the table. After that, he simply began to flail and shout at the crying woman, releasing all his strength into it.

"Carly, don't! Put that back." he shouted. "She's cold, Carly. Don't let her get cold!"

Then, before he knew what happened, he was back in the waiting room. It confused him for a second before the realization came to him. A dream; a nightmare. Jason saw Sonny and Carly in the same position as they were before; the blonde woman leaning her sleeping head on his shoulder. He breathed a sigh of relief. It was ok. For the moment, she was ok.