A/N: woohoo! updates make me go "WEE!" well that was a sad attempt for an a/n wasn't it? anyway, i'm going to have another ch in SPiral after i get off work tonight, i know..i know...i do too much...no i don't deserve your applause...well...maybe a little.

Ch. 30 Last Beautiful Girl

She heard him coming. It didn't surprise her, she knew he'd be coming soon. As he approached, she couldn't help but reflect on her situation. It was unbelievable how everything was turning out. Never in her life would she ever have pictured herself in jail for murder; let alone being guilty for it.

"What took you so long?" she joked, thought part of her meant it. The part that wanted him with her every second of every day. It was the same part that told her to tell him the whole truth; that wanted to reach out to him and beg for help.

"I had to pick something up." he answered.

"Cake with a file in it?" she asked sarcastically. When she saw he didn't take too well to the joke, she continued on seriously. "What?"

Jason turned his head in the direction he'd come from and nodded. She looked on curiously as someone else approached them. It was a man. On the short side, dark hair and skin. One of Sonny's many connections, no doubt. But what the hell was he doing there? Were they already planning a break out?

"Who's he?" she asked Jason, looking towards the man. "What's he doing here?"

"He's an ordained minister."

"That's nice. Come to read me my last rights?" she asked sarcastically.

"He's here to marry us." Jason informed, slightly nervous as to what her response would be. He looked in her eyes and saw the momentary shock transition into defiance.

"Well, he can turn around and go home." she said sternly. "No one is getting married today."

"Courtney, listen to me." Jason said, pleadingly. "We get married, I don't have to testify against you. You know Baldwin's going to call me to the stand. I know it's soon, but-"

"Damn right it's soon." she interjected angrily. "but that's not even the point. You only have a piece of what'll go down if we do this Jason. Here's how it works; we get married, and you spend the rest of your life trying to save me when I go to prison anyway."

"Don't talk like that." he ordered. "You won't go to prison. I won't let you."

"See, that's what I'm talking about. You'd devote your entire life to trying to help me and it'll cost you everything." she said, ignoring the sting of fresh tears behind her eyes." Your job, your family, your life; you'll lose it all."

"Damn it, Courtney, don't you see? You are my family; my everything. Losing my life wouldn't matter to me because it's not mine. It's yours. My life, my heart, my soul; it all belongs to you. And married or not, I'm going to fight for you; till the day I die." he said, desperately trying to get through to her. "I don't know what happened with Ric, but I want to. But even more than that, I want you to see that you need to fight this. For yourself and for us. I mean, we just found each other again, and I know you want a future together."

"I do, but Jason-"

"Then fight for it." he interrupted, hoping she would listen. That she would believe in him and their love. "Look in my eyes and see that there is something to fight for. Something to live for. Because that's what I see in you; my reason for living."

Courtney listened to his declaration, unsure of what she was going to do or say to him. She'd never felt so torn in her entire life. Having two sides of herself battling one another. Wanting to pull him close and push him away at the same time. She pushed her hair behind her ear and began to pace back and forth. Wrapping her arms around herself, she tried to think.

She looked over at Jason, she saw he really needed it. He needed this to hold on. In honesty, she wouldn't mind having something like this to hold on to. Something for the nights. It was so quiet at night. But as soon as the silence settled in, as soon as she would get used to it, the sounds would fill her head. The sounds from that night.

Flashback

It was loud.

In reality, she knew it couldn't possibly have been that loud.

But to her; she had never heard a more deafening sound in her life.

She watched with wide as he fell to the floor. He hit the hardwood with a sickening thud. She felt the heavy metal slip away from her hands as she stared at him.

The blood.

It was seeping through his pale button up shirt. Not seeping; flowing was more appropriate. The liquid oozed freely from him as he lay on the floor looking up at her. His dark orbs latching on to her blues.

She watched.

His mouth moved as he tried to speak. He was trying to say something. But it was impossible to make out as his struggling voice was distorted with the gurgles and heaves of his body shutting down.

She knew she should do something. Call for help. Call someone. Tell someone what was happening. But instead, she stood frozen in horror, her eyes glued to his fading ones.

She watched.

The sounds. The gruesome sounds he made. She was stuck. She was stuck to the ground. Listening to the sounds, looking at his eyes.

Then, in a second that felt like years, it stopped.

Nothing in his eyes.

No more sounds.

It was silent.

End Flashback

"Courtney?" she heard him say.

Shaking her head, she looked over to him. She knew he'd seen her space out as she relived it. His eyes and face showed more concern and worry than she had ever seen in her life. He needed it. She could give it to him. It was the least she could do. A gift. She would do this for him.

"Ok." she said, surprised that she could find, let alone use, her voice. "Let's get married."