Disclaimer: I own nothing when it comes to the Weiss boys or the Gundam pilots. It was just my idea to introduce them in this manner.
A/N: Shounen Ai (duh!)
To QueenNarca: I just wanted to give you a special thank you for your enthusiasm and praise. Thanks! It does my writer's heart good.
Death and the Assassin
Chapter 6
One month later
Ken groaned as he looked at the clock. "Shit. I have to go." He began to untangle himself from his lover but wasn't having much success as the other man was making it exceeding difficult to get up. "C'mon, don't make this any harder than it already is Duo. Let me go. I have to open tomorrow."
"So stay and leave early tomorrow."
"I can't. I don't have any clean stuff here. When I come over Wednesday I'll bring a new bag and that should get me through a week or so." Ken finally freed himself from his lover's clutches and began cleaning off the coffee table.
"Don't worry about that, I'll get it." Duo got up from the sofa and took the rest of the dishes in the kitchen where he found Ken already washing. "Leave them, I'll do it." He turned off the water and wrapped his arms around the other man's waist, nuzzling his neck.
"I don't want to leave you with the dishes. It's my mess too." Ken gave into the gentle snuggling and pulled Duo tight against him, his face buried in the soft chestnut hair he loved so much.
"You said you'd bring a new bag on Wednesday. Does that mean I won't see you until then?"
"Well…I open Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and I don't get off 'til five and by the time I get here, I'll only have a few hours before I have to leave again so I get home at a decent hour to get some sleep." Or go on a mission….. Ken inwardly cringed at the thought. It was becoming harder and harder to lie to Duo. Thankfully, their missions had been few and far between the past couple months. "But Thursday I'm off and Friday I don't have to be in until one."
"I hate this."
"I know, I'm sorry." Ken gave Duo a tender kiss, then pulled out of the embrace and headed for the living room. "I'll call you tomorrow, ok?" He grabbed his coat and keys and was just about to slip on his shoes when Duo's voice caused him to drop his shoe.
"Move in with me." Ken slowly turned around to face his lover, his shock evident. Duo smiled and walked up to the brunette, "You running back and forth is stupid. Just move in with me." He leaned in and kissed Ken, his lips lingering even after the kiss had been broken. "I love you Ken. I want to fall asleep with you every night."
"I….I don't know." Ken took a step back and hung his head. "I'll have to think about it."
Duo didn't say anything. It wasn't the reaction he'd hoped for. He just watched as Ken put his shoes on, shrugged his jacket on and finally turned to face him. Duo winced when he saw the fear in his lover's eyes. I've pushed him too far. He's not looking for that level of commitment. Oh shit. Did I just ruin everything?
Ken saw how upset Duo was and he silently cursed himself for being so stupid. "Hey, don't…." He reached out and hugged Duo to him. "You just caught me by surprise is all." He pulled the man back to look into those purple eyes that still held a hint of sadness to them, and he hated himself for making Duo feel that way. He brushed back some chestnut locks and smiled. "Obviously you've been thinking about this more than I have. Just give me a little time to catch up with you, ok?"
Duo nodded and looked away as he took a deep breath. Ken turned his face to him again, his voice and face very serious.
"Hey, look at me. I love you, and I want to be with you. I just need to figure out how this would work. So don't be sad. I don't want the last image of you for the next three days to be this sad face." Ken kissed Duo deeply and when he looked at his lover again, purple eyes were smiling at him. "That's better."
Ken gave Duo one more kiss goodbye before leaving for the Koneko. As he drove home, his mind was in chaos over Duo. I love him so much and I wish I could just say yes and move in with him but it's just not that easy. In his frustration, he picked up speed as he raced along the highway. I have to live at the Koneko because of Weiss. And I can't leave Weiss and I can't tell Duo about Weiss, so…what the fuck am I going to do?
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Is There Another Way to Live?
"Hey Coach! Wait up!"
Ken turned to see four of his players running up to him as he threw the equipment bags in the storage shed. "Hey guys, what's up?"
"Here!"
Ken took the paper that was shoved into his face and began to read it while trying to pay attention to the boys in front of him.
"I was in the head master's office yesterday--"
He lowered the paper and glared at the boy, his tone that of a stern father. "And what were you doing in the head master's office?"
Cheeks became blood red as the boy faltered and tried to avoid answering. "Oh, well, it wasn't anything important."
One of the boys shoved the embarrassed teammate aside and stepped into Ken's line of sight. "Coach, just listen. We all go to Hotohori Academy and we found out they're hiring a new soccer coach."
"Yeah, we thought you should take the job! Our coach sucks and if you were coaching we'd win the championship for sure."
"Yeah!"
Ken smiled at his enthusiastic players. It warmed his heart that they wanted him to coach their school team and honestly, if his life afforded him the freedom, he'd love to take the job. But he already had a job. He was a florist by day and assassin by night.
"Guys, I already have a job."
"So quit!"
"You'd rather play with flowers than coach our team?"
"I can't just quit Mitsume. Of course I'd rather play with you guys, but people depend on me to do my job. I'm sorry. I really am. But thanks for thinking of me. It's nice to know I'm wanted." He saw the dejected looks and he felt bad, but there was no way he could possibly even entertain the idea of changing jobs. "Alright guys, stop pouting. Your parents are waiting for you. I'll see you on Saturday."
For the rest of the evening, Ken's thoughts were preoccupied with what to do with his life. Duo had asked him to move in a week ago and he still hadn't given him an answer. He was grateful that Duo wasn't being pushy about it. And now, his players were unknowingly tormenting him by begging him to come coach their school's soccer team. A dream job for Ken if ever there was one.
Ken spent the rest of the evening in his room, trying to figure out how to manage everything going on in his life. I know I love Duo and I want to be with him. But will Persia let me go? By asking will I be placing Duo in danger? And what will happen if I am allowed to leave? Will I be forbidden contact with Yohji and the others? Could I sacrifice my friends for Duo?
As Ken lay contemplating his life's path he knew he had three loves in his life. Duo, Yohji and soccer. And if he could keep all three in his life, he would be happy. Very happy. He sighed as he rolled over and stared at the small expanse that was his room. A few pictures on the wall, a lamp, a laptop, a closet full of clothes and soccer equipment, and a locked trunk full of stuff he wished to either protect or hide. That was the extent of his possessions. He didn't own the bed, dresser or desk. And it had never bothered him until now.
This had been his home for so long, but now it just felt like a room. A temporary hideaway. He tried to spend most of his time over Duo's now. He kept a stash of clothes there and Duo had stocked all his preferred toiletries in the bathroom that was now 'theirs'. He cooked and ate dinner there a lot. The neighbors knew him. A smile suddenly appeared on the brunette's face. His home truly was with Duo now.
"I guess it's decided then."
Ken got up and went over to the garbage can and retrieved a folded piece of paper. He opened it up and stared at the notice. Hotohori Academy, huh?
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Ken's stomach was in knots. He'd faced so much danger in his life but he couldn't remember being this nervous in a really long time. This is it. This is my chance at a normal, happy life. He looked up at the illuminated circles as he rode the elevator to the top floor. He'd cleared one obstacle already. He'd gotten the job at Hotohori Academy yesterday. It killed him not to be able to tell anyone. Especially Yohji. A high-pitched ding alerted Ken that he had reached his destination.
He took a deep breath and stepped into the empty reception area. There was no sign of Persia or Manx. Am I early? Persia had agreed to meet him at this ungodly hour so they could discuss 'something important' was all Ken would say. But he knew Persia wasn't a stupid man, and probably figured things out for himself already.
Suddenly a side door opened and Manx stepped out looking very serious. "Come in Ken."
Ken just nodded and walked into the spacious office several feet and stopped. He heard the door close behind him, but his attention was completely focused on the man sitting behind the desk.
"Have a seat Ken."
"A-actually, I'd like to stand if that's ok."
"Sure. So what brings you to my office today?"
Ken stole a quick glance at the silent redhead in the corner. She was watching him with cold eyes, her face not showing a single emotion. Are all redheads like that? He looked back at the older man whose brown eyes were fixed on him.
"Sir….I'd like to leave Weiss."
A heavy sigh escaped the older man as he sat back and turned his chair to look out onto the city which was still covered in darkness. Dawn was still an hour or so away. He had been warned by Manx that this was coming. The young assassin had found himself a boyfriend and things seemed to be getting very serious between them. This led to one of two things: the assassin backed off the relationship to keep from hurting their loved one and not wanting to risk their secret life being exposed, or the assassin tried to quit. And very rarely was an assassin able to completely escape the life.
"May I ask your reasons for wanting to leave?"
"I've…found someone. He's asked me to move in with him and….I want to, but I won't be able to have a life with him and still fulfill my obligation to you at the same time. Something has to give. So I've been thinking about this for a long time now and I'm sorry….but I choose him."
"It sounds like you've made your decision no matter what I say Ken. What will you do if I refuse your request?"
Ken clenched his fists and closed his eyes, calming himself. Getting angry wasn't going to solve this problem.
"I'd be lying if I told you I hadn't thought of ways around your blessing. But honestly…..I don't know."
The room remained silent for several agonizing minutes and Ken was beginning to wonder if he'd missed some subtle hint in Persia's words that dismissed him or something, but finally the older man turned back to face him. Another heavy sigh floated through the room and Ken realized how tired the man really looked.
"You're a fine young man Ken and I hate to see you leave. But…." A small knowing smile appeared on his face and his voice became just slightly softer, "I understand and respect your wishes. If you wish to leave Weiss, I will not stop you."
"Persia!"
The older man's smile disappeared at the woman's outburst and he raised his hand for silence.
"However. I cannot allow you to continue working at the Koneko. It's a risk for you and us that I'm not willing to take. And I know you are very close to your teammates so I will not forbid you contact with them. But any other agents you know will be instructed that you no longer exist."
Ken could only nod his head in agreement and fix his eyes on the floor. He'd hoped….he'd prayed….that Persia would grant his request without much trouble. But to actually get his wish….
He had been so occupied with his thoughts that he didn't notice the older man getting up and walking over to him until he saw two black shoes invade his line of sight. His head shot up to see the silver haired Persia smiling at him. Ken imagined that if his father were still alive, that he'd smile at him just like that. It was full of pride and affection.
"Good luck Ken."
And with that Ken found himself in the older man's embrace. He hugged him back feeling a tightness in his chest.
"Thank you Persia. Thank you so much."
"Just be happy son."
Ken squeezed the man a little tighter before letting go and backing up a few steps his hand on the door knob.
"I, uh, better get going." He took a deep, calming breath. "I'm opening this morning."
Ken smiled at the older man before letting himself out. Once he was in the elevator, he let everything out. His body couldn't take it anymore and he let out a roar of joy and triumph as he jumped in the air. And then he couldn't stop smiling and laughing. Even as he drove down the highway closing in on 80 mph, he still couldn't stop smiling or laughing.
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Persia chuckled as he watched the security camera footage of the young man in the elevator. "God bless Ken. I hope that young man of yours knows how special you really are."
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BANG BANG BANG!
Duo opened one eye and looked at the clock and groaned. Then he closed his eye again, rolled over, and pulled the covers over his head.
BANG BANG BANG!
What the fuck! Who is pounding on my door at this hour? I'll kill them! Duo silently cursed the person on the other side of the door as he pulled his robe on and rubbed his eyes. He looked through the peephole and couldn't believe who he saw. He opened the door, a disbelieving look on his face.
"Ken? Wh--?"
The elated brunette threw himself at the confused and sleepy man, peppering his face and neck with kisses as he kicked the door shut. Ken guided Duo back towards the sofa and the two collapsed with Ken burying the still confused, but responsive man.
Duo knew that whatever had prompted his lover's early surprise visit was a good thing by the attention he was receiving. He couldn't help but laugh as the brunette tickled his ear with his warm breath. He finally managed to push his enthusiastic lover back a few inches and looked up into the sparkling blue eyes.
"Ken. What has gotten into you? What are you doing here so early?"
"I just couldn't wait any longer to come home to you."
It didn't take long for Duo to understand what Ken was saying. He had been worried that he'd scared his lover off by asking him to move in with him. It had been two weeks since Ken said he had to think about it and they hadn't seen each other much during that time. Duo could understand if he was a little nervous. Moving in together was a big deal. But it felt so right and made sense and now he was going to be able to fall asleep next to this man every night.
"Welcome home Hidaka."
Duo pulled Ken down to him, kissing him deeply as greedy hands worked the leather jacket off, and then pulled at his shirt trying to get to the warm skin underneath.
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Duo frowned and grumbled as the warmth was pulled away from him.
"Where are you going? Get back here."
He pulled his robe closed to preserve his body heat.
"I can't. I have to go to work." Duo opened his eyes and appreciated the view of Ken looking for his clothes that were scattered about the living room. He looked up and flashed the sleepy man a smile. "I should be home by six, ok?"
Duo smiled at the simple statement that meant so much to him. Ken would be home by six. Would that be ok? "More than ok."
"See you soon." Ken kissed Duo goodbye as he laid a blanket on the shivering man.
Duo listened for the telltale roar of Ken's motorcycle and snuggled down into the sofa. Take that Fate.
Flashback
It had been one week since he'd been let out of the hospital and for what seemed like the hundredth time, he and Heero were having the same debate. Four weeks ago Duo had been caught in an explosion and suffered serious injuries when he took shrapnel to his head and body. He had eventually recovered from the injuries, but the doctors told him that he could no longer work in Special Forces. As a result of the head injury, Duo was suffering from sudden and debilitating headaches. He was being given a discharge from the military and thought it would be nice to go tour the world for a few months before retuning to find a job. He'd gotten permission for Heero to go with him but his lover was showing no enthusiasm for him or the trip.
"I don't see why you're leaving Duo. Stay here and find a job. There are plenty of contracted jobs to the military."
"Heero….I'm coming back in a few months. All I'm asking is that you take a few steps back from being the perfect soldier and come with me." Honestly, Duo didn't know if he was coming back. But he just knew that if he could get Heero away from the military life, even for a few months, he could convince him to stay with him wherever they were in the world.
"I don't want to take a break. I like my life. I was destined to be a soldier."
"Don't you want more Heero?"
"We were not meant to have a normal life Duo. Fate has chosen a different path for us. We're warriors, not normal men. We're not destined for wives, families….the house with the white picket fence."
"I'm not a warrior anymore Heero, remember?" Duo pointed to his own head for emphasis. "I don't want this kind of life anymore. I want someone to love, to share my life with, to come home to." He reached out for the other man's hand but it was pulled away. "Heero…"
"It's not meant to be Duo, I'm sorry." Hard blue eyes glared at him and Duo's heart sank just a little more. "You are the God of Death. That is the path Fate has chosen for you. Accept it."
"Bullshit!" Duo grabbed Heero's shoulders and slammed him into the wall. "I make my own choices, choose my own path. You can too. Stop doing this Heero. Come with me, we can be happy, I know we can." Heero averted his gaze from the desperate purple eyes that were mere inches from his. "Look at me damn it!" He used one hand to forcefully turn Heero's face to his. "I love you. Isn't that enough?"
"No."
Duo's heart stopped. This can't be happening. He let his hands fall to his sides as he staggered back a few steps. He didn't mean it…he loves me…Heero…. He stared, crushed, at the young man that he'd given his heart to so many years ago. They'd been friends, comrades, and lovers. And now, the most important person in his life was telling him that he wasn't enough.
Duo was about to say something when the alarm went off. He blinked back the tears and took a deep breath to compose himself before the onslaught of personnel invaded the hallway, rushing to their assignments. He looked up to see Heero just watching him with those damnable blue eyes that reminded him of a perfect blue sky on a clear summer day.
Suddenly there were people everywhere, but the two figures remained still, life seemingly moving on around them. A voice rang out among the chaos.
"Heero! Move your ass!"
The young man slowly started moving towards him and Duo held his breath. Heero wouldn't look at him, but as he passed, Duo heard soft words tickle his ear.
"I'm sorry Duo."
And with that, his love was gone. Heero's plane was shot down during that mission. It took them two months before they found his body in a mass grave in a nearby village. That had been the lowest point in Duo's life. He fell into a deep depression aided by heavy drinking for almost six months where he alienated friends, eventually lost his job, and cut off his long braid.
It was Wufei that saved him. He'd found out about Duo through Trowa and Quatre who had been trying to save their friend from the day Heero left. Wufei had just finished negotiating a book deal and stopped by to see Duo only to find the man passed out in the hallway in front of his apartment.
After he nursed the man out of his drunken stupor, the martial arts expert turned author proceeded to beat his friend unconscious. Duo fought back, but he was out of shape and didn't stand a chance against the man.
Two days later Wufei, Duo, Quatre and Trowa all had dinner together, and sitting there with his friends getting teased about his bruises while being hugged at the same time, he realized he would be ok. Yes, he had loved Heero and had his heart broken. But he meant what he told Heero that day. He wanted someone to love and share his life with and his friends had helped him see that it was possible. But he had to live his life before he could share it with anyone.
Wufei stayed with Duo for two months helping him get his life back in order. That included a new job and a new apartment in a new city, along with getting back in shape, all compliments of the martial arts expert.
"I'm happy to see you have found yourself again Duo."
"Thanks to you 'Fei."
The two men hugged goodbye and Wufei tugged on the beginnings of Duo's new braid. "I'll always be here for you my friend, don't ever forget that."
"I won't." They broke the embrace and Duo rubbed his temple, "I wouldn't want to get my ass kicked again."
Wufei's debut novel was about a man who tried to commit suicide after his wife was murdered, only to be rescued by his childhood friends.
End Flashback
Duo smiled as he fell back to sleep, dreaming of sparkling blue eyes and a warm smile that would be there for him everyday.
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"Hey guys!" Ken bound into the kitchen for breakfast, smiling and a little flushed. He had raced back to the Koneko after leaving Duo to shower before starting work. With the exception of the half hour or so he lay in Duo's arms that morning, he had been running on overdrive since 2am.
"Good morning Ken."
"Morning Kenken." Suspicious green eyes followed the brunette as he grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down at the breakfast table. "Where have you been this early in the morning?"
Ken smiled at his way too observant friend. He saw Omi and Aya now waiting for an answer to Yohji's question as well. "Well, um, actually, I do have something to tell you guys." He looked around at his three friends and his stomach lurched. What if they get mad at me for leaving the team?
Yohji saw the hesitation in Ken's eyes and knew his friend needed some coaxing. "Just say it Kenken. With the exception of the chibi we're all men here."
"Hey!"
"Face it, you're a sweet, adorable twenty year old virgin."
"Yohji!" Ken and Omi reprimanded the chuckling blonde in unison.
Aya's irritated voice cut short Yohji's fun. "Would you all shut up and let Ken say what he has to say?"
"Well, um, it's good news." He looked around again, his smile back in place even if his stomach was threatening to revolt. He concentrated on the steaming cup of coffee in his hands. "I met with Persia this morning. I'm leaving Weiss and moving in with Duo."
Ken didn't have the courage to look up. He waited, his trained ears listening for the slightest sound uttered, a shift in position, anything to give him a clue as to what was about to come his way. Yohji knew things were getting serious with Duo, but he wasn't sure if he considered the possibility of him leaving Weiss.
Ken knew they sat there for at least two minutes with no one saying anything. Finally, it was his best friend that came to the rescue.
"Good for you Kenken."
Ken turned grateful eyes to his friend but before he could get out any words of thanks, he was grabbed by Omi in a hug so tight he was having trouble breathing.
"Ken this is wonderful! I'm so happy for you! And Duo!"
"Th-thanks Omi….(cough)…uh, could you let up a little please? I like breathing."
"Oh sorry!"
"So how long has this been in the works?"
"He asked me two weeks ago. I've been thinking about what it would mean for me, him, and you guys. Persia was really great about everything."
Yohji sat back in his seat, a smile on his face, hiding the turmoil within. He desperately wanted a cigarette and a stiff drink. "Is that where you were this morning?"
"Yeah."
The blonde was truly happy for his best friend, but there was a very important, possibly disastrous question that needed asking. "What were your release?"
Ken saw the fear in Yohji's eyes. He put his hand over his best friend's, reassuring him. "I will not lose you guys. I can't work here and any other agents are being instructed that I no longer exist."
Yohji visibly relaxed and Omi immediately pounced on Ken again.
"When do you move? Oh! Where are you moving to? He better not live far away. And what about a job? What are you going to do for money?"
"Or is Duo going to be your Sugar Daddy?"
Ken shot Yohji a look but the blonde only smirked in return as he sipped his coffee. Ken turned his attention back to Omi as the youngest member of Weiss waited with bated breath for Ken's answers. He couldn't help but smile.
"Well, I got a job as the varsity soccer coach at Hotohori Academy yesterday, so the job thing is taken care of. And I'll be moving within a week and no, it's not far away. It's about fifteen minutes from here."
"But Ken, you speed."
He ruffled the sandy blonde hair. "You're right. Make it twenty-five."
The three friends' laughter filled the kitchen until the screech of a chair interrupted them as Aya left the room.
"Aya, wait!"
Ken got up to follow the redhead but Yohji grabbed his wrist. "Let him go."
Ken yanked his wrist free and followed Aya into the storeroom. "Aya, what's wrong? Aren't you happy for me?"
Violet eyes fixed on him and Ken shuddered. "You got what you wanted Ken. Congratulations." He turned to walk out into the store but Ken grabbed his arm and spun him around.
"What's your problem! I thought we got past this Aya?"
"Let go of my arm."
"No."
"Why do you care? You left me, and now you're leaving Weiss. Just get the hell out."
"You bastard!" Ken slammed the defiant redhead against the wall. "I'm leaving Weiss, not my friends. And you need to get a major attitude adjustment or you won't have any friends left Aya. Stop being such a dick! You are not Life's martyr. We've all suffered great losses and pain in our lives but you don't see us acting like assholes."
He shoved the man for good measure before backing away and running his fingers through his hair. "Why can't you just be my friend Aya?"
"Because it hurts." The whispered response froze Ken in his tracks. "You said I didn't love you, but you were wrong. I did. I loved you as much as I could."
Ken turned to see that Aya had sunk down to the floor and he was staring at his hands. He slowly approached the redhead, afraid of spooking him and thus stopping the confessional that was unfolding before him.
"I know….I know it wasn't enough for you and I'm sorry for that. I tried…to make you happy, to give you what you deserved." Ken was now sitting next to Aya and the redhead turned to face him, eyes pools of unshed tears. "You deserve better than what we had."
"Aya…."
Ken hugged the other man to him tightly. They didn't say anything else; they just sat there in each other's arms, a quiet understanding between friends. Nobody asked what happened between them once the foursome was back together in the flower shop, and that afternoon Aya took his lunch break and brought Ken back several boxes for packing.
To be continued….