Authoress' Ramblings: Not the best thing I've ever written. Sucks, really. But I had nothing better to do at three in the morning. So, I apologize.

DISCLAIMER: Sadly, I only have a trusty Itachi key chain hanging by my little black notepad, which I bring everywhere. But besides that; no, I do not own Naruto. Too bad, eh?

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Praetermissus
Kunoichi.
By psychedelic aya

Tsunade hated sending out kunoichi on solo missions.

(Kunoichi were never better than shinobi in stealth assassinations, so it only meant one thing.)

"You're mission is to gather as much information from the Rice Country Lord. Sources say he knows where Hidden Sound is, and we need an exact location to save us time. The search missions are no good, see; we're just wasting shinobi this way."

Wasting shinobi, of course, is a bad thing. No good for Konoha if shinobi were killed off.

So of course, the village would rather mentally scar one female nin than continue to lose many of it's male nin.

(Unfair, isn't it?)

But it's more convenient that way.

"You must do whatever it takes, understand? We need this information."

Everyone knows that the Hokage's order is absolute. When she says do whatever it takes, a ninja must do whatever it takes. Complete the job until your last breath, until the life is squeezed out of you, bruised and bloody and dying.

(But there are things much worse than death, right?)

Not like it matters, though. Only a few know what pain there is that lies beyond the last breath, but surely they would rather not talk about it.

(Women are weak. They think losing love is worse than losing their own life. Men do not understand this concept, because indeed, what can be more important than your own living soul? There is nothing better than being alive--love, after all, is for the weak anyway--even if it means to cling on to life in the most unsightly and disgusting way.)

Enter Itachi. Enter Orochimaru. Enter Sasuke.

(Although that last one was kind of saved.)

To call a man soft is an insult to them. Any form of gentleness or outstanding emotion is a weakness.

The male can never flex to the two sides of the coin. They cannot do it like the female can.

And this is why women are always sacrificed to missions of stealth and manipulation, where sometimes breaking the soul and destroying the heart is a requirement. They are placed in duties like these because they know and understand anyway.

They can cope with these unknown things that which are greater than death.

The Godaime tried to make the situation lighter. The kunoichi in front of her was tense, was nervous; but she had expected no less. Light-heartedly, "Relax. You'll do fine. He'll like your hair."

The female nin had laughed, albeit it sounded quite contrived. "You think so?"

(Her hair was never a normal color.)

A forced smile. "Of course." Both of them paused, and the Fifth had to harden her expression for the fear of bursting into unwanted and unneeded emotion. "I… I want you to be careful. He might…"

Their eyes didn't meet. "I know."

"What if…"

"I'm prepared." Another pregnant pause; the younger kunoichi swallowed. "I even… thought of names. You know, just in case."

Tsunade bit her lip. "What names?"

There was a smile, but it was slightly bitter. "Sasuke and Naruto would be perfect, don't you think?"

"Two names? Does this mean you're going to be gone for a long time?"

"You explained to me that he was not an easy man to crack. I think I should take the possibility of desperate measures; if I don't marry him afterwards… that…" She seemed to trail off, as if getting rid of something stuck in her throat. "…He might suspect Konoha. I should be cautious."

Hearing her speak this way made the Hokage admire her protégé. But still…

"I'm sorry it had to be you."

"It's not your fault." And they both knew she meant it. "Besides, I'll be home before you know it. Naming children after them will make me nostalgic, you know?"

(They both knew that she'd miss them more than anything else.)

There was nothing else the Godaime could say to that. Her two teammates had not yet heard of her mission yet; and she'd rather not be the one to tell them. The wrath of the Kyuubi and the Mange Sharingan combined was not something she'd like to face. (And she was a Sannin.)

At this point, she'd like to say something. A lot of things. But nothing was coming out.

I'm sorry you had to postpone your own wedding for another one.

Out of the thousand of things she wanted to say (besides "I'm sorry it had to be you."--then again, she was able to say that anyhow), that one stood out. Very much so.

(The Hokage vaguely thought that maybe she should still already start wearing that red and white fan anyway.)

But no. That could be dangerous in its own way. A hindrance, a distraction.

(There are a lot of things worse than death. For a woman, losing love is one of them.)

Although she knew that they both knew that it would be alright. Somehow, someway. After all, this was a kunoichi duty.

A kunoichi was the epitome of sacrifice.

(Meaning she had to do this either way. There was no changing minds, no getting out of it, no crying tears of regret.)

"Good luck, Sakura. Do your best."

Do whatever it takes.

A bow, a kneel, a vow sealed by a hand to the chest.

"Hai, Godaime-sama."

Tsunade sighed and watched her own student leave.

I'm so sorry.

(In this world, apologies are mere nothings.)

She held back her tears and buried her face in her hands.

(Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. Remember, a kunoichi is a mere sacrifice.)

…I am a kunoichi.

People should know that Tsunade really hated her job.

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.:There's more to life than that.:.

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Authoress' Notes: And again, you don't need to tell me. It. Sucked.

Egao na. Jesus loves you.

You can run away in madness now.