Chapter two----------Silent Screams---------
Every voice left unheard will become me / And I will become something more than myself / I will find a way to be heard /Or be forever silenced
The next morning Tseng paced around the large living room, waiting for her to pick up the phone. "Seven rings, where are you? Pick up, pick up, pick up," Tseng said under his breath. It was unlike Terri, his aunt, to leave a ringing phone unanswered. He was relieved when someone finally picked up on the ninth ring. Silence. "Hello," he asked, then paused. More silence on the other end. "Hello, it's me, Tseng, anyone there" he tried again, and could have cursed at the much too chipper voice that answered. "Hey Sen-sama, I thought it was you!" Tseng could have smacked her. "Yuffie, where's Terri? I wanted to talk to her." If it was possible, he could have sworn she rolled her eyes at him. "She's at the market with those little brats of hers, why? You could talk to me..." Tseng cut her off. "If she's in town, I'll just catch up with her, I was heading that way this morning anyway. Thanks Yu." He heard small, covered giggles and smiled a bit himself; he could always get her with that one. "Should I meet you or something? I was kinda thinking about going downtown myself..." Tseng sighed, loudly emphasizing the dread of bringing her along, and was surprised she didn't say anything against it. "I suppose you could meet up with me, Yu, I wouldn't mind..." "Cool," she basically squealed, interrupting him, "And maybe..." "No maybes," Tseng corrected the young girl. "You should go ahead and find her, and PHS me and let me know where I can find her, and that's all. No maybe anything, you hear me," Tseng stated, and Yuffie sniffed on the other end. "I see how it is," she whined, but he knew his young cousin much too well. "Siyah, Yuffie, I'll see you," he said, and waited until she said goodbye to hang up. "Not my favorite way to start a day," he thought to himself, and couldn't help but smile a little. Even if Yuffie was a pain in the ass, a thief, and a terrorist, she was still family, and nothing could ever change that.
Tseng sat down the company cell phone on the coffee table and briskly walked down the hall to the bathroom, where he had set up before he had showered this morning. He caught himself whistling as he combed and tied back his still wet hair and laughed. In all his mornings thoughts he had forgotten to dress himself in more than his blue silk boxers. As he returned to the living room and opened his suitcase with his packed, pressed suits he considered going into town as he was. After a moment imagining everyone's faces, his better judgment won and soon he found himself walking upstairs to search his drawers for something... normal.
He dreaded going in the master bedroom, and paused for a deep breath a moment before he turned the knob. The smell of must and lingering sandalwood was somehow overpowering and he had to turn back for a moment, collecting his thoughts. He was not going to have a mental breakdown over his own bedroom. As he stepped in and scanned the room he startled; for a moment he could have sworn he saw her lying there asleep, her makeup still on and her hair undone, just the way he had found her with him four years past. The vision was nothing more than a memory, and just proved to him that stressful situations burn themselves into your soul forever. Shaking the ghosts away he turned to the bureau to begin his investigation for clothes that may still fit.
He had plenty of clothes here, along with other possessions. He wondered why she had never came back to burn them, why she had never sold his jet ski or crashed his vintage Corvette like most women would have. Maybe she knew more than she let on to, or maybe she just didn't care at all. Either way, it was over now and there was nothing more to dwell on.
He pulled out a stack of pants and shirts and dropped them on the floor. This was going to be fun. The first pair of pants just didn't feel right and he tossed them onto the bed. The second pair was a bit too tight for his comfort and he tossed them over to join their friend. The third pair had rips in the knees and various different places and he didn't even put them on. Those ones he decided to toss towards the hallway. In fact, he figured, before he left he should pile together some of the clothes here he no longer used to give to Reno, namely the vintage looking stuff since he had a weird fascination with that kind of stuff. "Cuz it's cool," the redhead had told him one night he had met him at a bar dressed in a band tee and cut offs. Tseng had to smile, remembering that particular night. Pushing the thought of Reno and drunken Guard Hounds out of his mind, Tseng went back to his pants. He pushed over the pile and sifted through it, as if examining evidence from a crime scene. He finally found his favorite skateboarding pants; dark blue carpenters with red stitching, and was amazed they were still here. He pulled them on and zipped them up, checking himself out in the wall mirror. "Not too bad for an old guy," he said to himself, and turned to find a matching shirt. He easily found a black Grateful Dead tee and pulled it on, turning to make sure he saw the right reflection.
For some reason he felt... weird, being here alone, and an odd but welcomed suffocation, like when your aunts circle around you and... His aunt! He remembered he was going into town and quickly left the room, sliding on his Vans as he left. As he hit the bottom floor he swung into the bathroom and spritzed himself with cologne then ran to the living room to get his PHS.
"Dammit Yuffie," he loudly proclaimed, very startled, as he realized the ninja was sitting impatiently on the couch, two mochas in hand. "Dammit to you too," she replied, standing up, "I called you dinkus." Tseng stared at her, calming himself. "When did you call me dinkus? How did I miss that?" She laughed. "No, I called your phone, relax. If I had called you dinkus you would have known." She grinned at him and held one of the coffees out to him, which he gratefully accepted, giving her a small hug in the process. She stepped back and stared into his dark blue eyes with her hazel ones, studying him.
After a minute she gave up whatever she was searching for and sat back down on the couch. Tseng stood there and watched before joining her. They sat and drank their coffee in silence, but he decided he was okay with her unexpected arrival. She had always had the ability to brighten up a room as soon as she entered, but for some reason the feeling just wasn't there. "So, Yu, you said you called," he asked and she nodded her head. He couldn't help but smile as her hair bobbed around, almost the same way Elena's does... like those hula girls you see in the dashboard of cars. He hadn't noticed he was staring, and from her point of view it looked like he was waiting, pressing her for information. Plain clothed or not he was still a Turk. "Yeah," she answered casually, "About twenty minutes ago, and she was leaving town then, and told me she was going to visit Nuria, and you should too."
Tseng stared at Yuffie for a moment, and sadness washed over him. A realization that he hadn't even seen his mother since Zachary was born. The day she disowned him. "No child of mine has a white baby," she had spat at him in Wutaianeese. "No son of mine rents his wife to other men and lets her in bed with sickness." Tseng had tried to calm his mother, to assure her he had not known until now, and she had literally spat in his face. "You..." she stopped to poke him in the chest... "Are not my son." She had walked out the door and out of his life, and from that day on everything he had loved had fallen away from him.
Now he sat bent over on the couch with his elbows on his knees and his head hanging down, thinking, and hadn't noticed the tears rolling down his cheeks. When he became aware of himself he automatically looked over, realizing Yuffie was still there too. She gave him a small, helpless smile. "You want a hug or something," she whispered, and he slung one arm around her tiny shoulders and looked in her eyes. "Nukeya, I want a beer," he softly said and she couldn't help but smile. "Turtles Paradise don't open till noon you know," she reminded him and he pushed her away playfully, shaking his head.
Standing up he looked back over to her. "Is Nuria still mad at me," he slowly asked, trying to control his voice from shaking. Yuffie stood up and walked over to him, gently slipping her arms around his waist. "No," she softly breathed against him as she rested her head against his ribs. He wasn't quite sure if he had heard her right... Would his mother actually forgive him? For something that had been beyond his control, it would be reasonable, but he knew his mother better than that. She had always been stubborn. "Are you absolutely sure," he asked her, resting a hand on her shoulder. She didn't answer him automatically, and that bothered him. She was a loud mouth. "Yuffie," he questioned, gently placing his other hand under her chin, lifting her head up so he could see her face. "What's wrong Yu," he asked her again, and she pushed away from him and sat back down on the couch.
"Damm, I really didn't wanna be the one to tell ya, ya know," she said, a quiver in her voice. He sat back down next to her, confused. "Tell me what squirt," he said, trying to provoke a smile. Unsuccessfully. "Listen... Tseng... I don't know when... I guess Terri said it's been six years, right?" She paused and looked at him, but he just stared blankly at her, he had no idea where she was going. "Okay, well. Look, your mom... she's getting pretty old, you know." Again she paused and looked at him for help, and this time he nodded. He knew very well his mother would be seventy-four this year. She took a deep breath, almost like she was taking her last breath, and let loose her high-speed verbal assault. He was very much used to this and amazingly got every word. "Your mother's been really really sick and the doctors didn't know what was wrong with her and then Terri took her to a different doctor one who knew alot of stuff other than giving pills for everything and he said people just get old and things quit working right and to not worry about it but she started forgetting stuff alot of stuff and getting hurt and Terri took her back to the doctor and he said she was getting this disease old people get when they get old and they just start forgetting everything until they don't know anything and they just stay that way until they get so old that everything else quits working and they die..." Yuffie took a deep breath, trying to catch her breath. Tseng sat there, in shock, absorbing everything she had just said. It hit him, hard, realizing that, if he understood her correctly, his mother had developed Alzimers. He scoffed in disbelief, more like denial, and looked over at the girl sitting next to him. Soft tears were rolling down her cheeks and he joined her, slipping his arms around her.
They just sat there for a while, being in each other's company, neither wanting or knowing what to say. Yuffie's cell phone, with it's very... unique... ring cut through their little world and startled them. She quickly answered and Tseng watched her move about the room, and he asked her whom it had been when she hung up. "Terri," she answered, "Wondering where we were. We still going?" He looked up at her, before standing up and looming over her, his 5'11 far by overshadowing her 5'2. She rolled her eyes for some unknown reason, and he grabbed his phone and keys off the table and forced a smile. "Backstreet Boys Yu? That's the best ring you could come up with?" She grinned wildly and skipped up to him as he held the door for her. "Yup. Cuz I want it that way!" He cringed as he locked the door, never wanting to hear that again. Yuffie was a horrible singer.
As they walked the path leading into town Tseng thought again about the last time he had talked to his mother. He didn't understand to this day why she had made such a big deal about things, and wondered if going along would be a good thing for him to do. He kicked a few rocks along the way. He would never admit it, but he had never felt so torn in his whole life. What would he say to her..? Would she say anything back? There were too many things he didn't understand. "Hey Yu," he asked, and Yuffie spun around to face him. "What's up," she answered, pulling something out of her pocket. "I was wondering..." he started but interrupted himself as he watched her light up a cigarette, "What are you doing?" She grinned. "What does it look like I'm doing?" He shook his head and went back to his original question, not even wanting to know who had taught her that little trick. "If Nuria has been sick all this time, why didn't anyone call me?" Yuffie sighed and sat down on a nearby rock. "Godo figured you were under enough stress with your job in Midgar, and didn't want to trouble you."
Tseng stared at the girl for a moment, and then they started walking again. "Godo is an ass," he said, and she laughed. "I know. I have to live with him." "You could always just move in with me," he said, and automatically wished it back. She looked at him for a minute, and then shook her head. "He'd like that too much," she said, and they both laughed, both knowing the truth all to well. Tseng walked over and surprised her by pulling the cigarette out of her hand and tossing it. "No need to kill yourself when Godo will do it for free," he told her and they both laughed, again. She gave him an unsuccessful shove and teased, "You better watch your mouth, cuz he's just waiting for you to do something stupid." Tseng stopped and looked at her. "Does he still go on about... Us?" She studied him, and turned away. "Hey, Terri's house is right there, so... You go on ahead and I'm going to find Vinnie. Okay?" He didn't get the answer, and judging from her action that probably meant yes.
Seeing that they were both from families with royal blood Godo and Nuria had arranged the marriage of their first born children far before their births. Yuffie was born the year Tseng turned twenty and he had already moved to Midgar, having enlisted in Soldier two years prior, and fallen in love by this time; a woman his age from Cosmo Canyon, a secretary in the Shinra Building, Suki. Tseng watched Yuffie grow up and babysat on occasion when he was home, but because of the age difference he had no desire to follow in the Elders paths. From his point of view, it was disgusting, not only by their ages but being that they were related. The day Tseng and Suki were married, then six year old Yuffie was their flower girl. This upset both Godo and Nuria and they both looked down on it. Godo swore and cursed Tseng, that his life would be filled with suffering. Tseng had sworn he would never talk to him again.
Remembering the words of his uncle, Tseng sighed. That part had turned true. His life was full of sadness, and maybe he was just a soulless shell, thanks to the lovely people at Shinra Inc. He pushed the thought out of the way; he had no desire to think about anything associated with work for the moment. He was standing on the porch of his mother's run down house, and something had just latched itself onto his leg.
He was just about to kick at whatever it was without looking, as it let go and he felt really stupid as he watched the tiny child toddle off to the other side of the porch. He could have laughed at himself; he was so stressed out he almost kicked a baby. "Oh well," he thought and was about to reach for the doorknob when someone else came up behind him and sneezed. He turned around, slightly, to find one of his young cousins, Eliza, standing there. "Hey," he said and she walked over to pick up the baby. "So Eli, who's that," he asked, and she blankly stared at him. He stared back then shook his head. She never said anything to him anyway. As he walked into the small crème colored room he noticed a few more of the younger children sitting around the floor.
Terri had nine, in all. The baby, which he only assumed was hers, five boys and three girls. That's not counting Yuffie, since she lived with her father and was never raised as Terri's daughter. My how she was a good babysitter for these little ones though; Yu never was one to turn down money... or Materia, for that matter.
Tseng stepped around the rug bunnies and peered into the kitchen. Just as he hoped his aunt was sitting at the table, by herself. Her eyes lit up when she noticed him, and automatically stood up. "Come in, come in and sit," she told him in their native tongue and he smiled. There were many things he wanted to talk about, and there was almost uncertainty on if he'd be able to find the right words. He walked over to the table and sat down, taking her hand in the process. "Terri, I need to ask you a few things," he said slowly, and she nodded, patting his hand with hers.
"How is my mother," he asked with concern, and she furrowed her brows at him, in deep thought. He remembered that she didn't know the Western Continent dialect and could have smacked himself. He repeated himself in Wutaianeese and she smiled, understanding. "She is... going," she slowly said, and he put his head down on the table. "How long does she have... no, I mean, can she still remember everything..." he looked over, hoping she had an idea of what he meant. "Days come and go and she slowly loses herself," she told him, "Some days she knows, and some days she knows not of her own name. She may live fifty more years, or maybe only today. Only Da- Chao knows." She looked up and smiled at him again, and he caught himself watching as two of the children fought over the same toy. "I feel exactly the way that doll feels right now," Tseng thought to himself, and turned back to his aunt.
"Has she mentioned anything about me," he asked and she shook her head. "All matters of the heart, child. She forgave you long before, but she stays stubborn as a mule. She loves you, you are her only child, but of words she says nothing." He looked down and sighed. Not exactly the way he hoped to hear it, but it gave him a little peace. "And my father," he started. "Has my father come yet?" She studied him for a moment and then laughed sarcastically. "Your father? Leviathan catch him first, he had dare not come here, running off the way he did. You're a cop, you find him," she stated, and he thought of saying something back, but decided against it. All for another day, he thought, and stood up.
"I'd like to see my mother," he told his aunt and she pointed towards the hall, waving him away. He walked to the end of the hall and took a deep breath. He had a fleeting thought that he might have some sort of panic disorder, forever terrorized by the thought of opening a door. He ignored himself and slowly opened the door and walked in, seeing his mother sleeping, and just stood there. There was no way he could wake her, he didn't feel that he was ready to face the truth. Tseng stood there, next to his mothers' bed, and for a moment watched her sleeping peacefully, and with tears in his eyes he turned and left. "Another day," he told himself, and gently closed the door behind him.
He didn't say another word to his aunt on the way out, he just left. He had no further desire to say there. He needed fresh air; that suffocating feeling was coming back. As he jogged through town towards the mountains he caught a glance of Vincent again and he nearly stumbled on his own feet. By the time he had stopped and turned around the boy was nowhere to be seen. But he did single out Yuffie, along with a very familiar looking blonde. "All the more reason to leave," he thought to himself, and took off again.
He slowed a little as he neared his house, and thought about checking on his Turks. "No matter what Reeves said, they're directly under my care, and if something should happen to them..." He stopped to catch his breath. Thinking it through, he decided that would be the reasonable thing to do, and secondly, there was still very frostbitten ice cream in the freezer.
Back in his kitchen he found there was, indeed, vanilla bean ice cream in the freezer and smiled as he sat it on the counter. He retrieved the bottle of whiskey from the hall where it had rolled and sat it on the counter next to the ice cream. He pulled a spoon out of the drawer and hopped up onto the counter, and started his project. If he remembered right, and if Reno hadn't been making it up, the alcohol would melt the ice cream, and for some reason this intrigued Tseng. He carefully poured some of the bottle into the cardboard container, and examined it carefully. He mixed it up a bit with the spoon, and was ready at any moment to jump back in case it was going to explode.
It didn't explode, and it didn't taste all that great either, but he really didn't care. "Maybe I will take Yuffie up on going out tonight," he thought, and picked up his phone. He hit speed dial two, which was Rude. He got his voice mailbox. "Hey buddy, just calling to see how you're doing, guess you're off somewhere. Guess I'll talk to you later. Bye." He ended the call and paused before he made his next call. He did not like calling Elena, for some reason she always acted like he loved her or something when he did. Wanting to talk to Reno the very least pushed him to continue, and he did. She picked up on the first ring.
"Hello," she asked, and he replied, "Hi Elena, I was just calling to see how things are going." There was a brief pause, then giggles. "Great," she finally said, "But is it okay if I call you back? I'm kinda busy right now..." "That's alright Elena, I'll just talk to you later," he said and she hung up on him. "A little odd," he thought to himself, and dialed up Reno's number, which he did not keep on speed dial.
Reno answered on the third ring, and sounded confused. "Ah, hello," he asked, and Tseng answered, "Hey Reno, how are things going?" There was a very odd noise and Tseng was almost about to ask when Reno spoke up, "Can you hold on a minute? I... Hold on..." There was about five minutes of noise on the other end and Tseng could only guess what the redhead was doing. Reno finally came back on, to Tseng's relief; he was growing quite impatient. "So, dude, what's up," he asked, and Tseng answered. "I was wondering how things were going with Scarlet." There was maniacal laughter and Tseng wondered if he should have asked. "No way, man. She took off, and I sure as hell didn't want to stay there alone, hell, I didn't want to pay for it. I left dude, I'm in Costa with Elena." Now it was Tseng's turn to fall silent. That made perfect sense, and he now wished he hadn't asked. "Yo, you okay dude," Reno asked, and Tseng managed to find the words. "I'll see you at work Reno," and he hung up.
The whiskey tainted ice cream never looked so good.
"I'm standing in a field with gently rolling hills, the forest and the mountain range surrounds me."